


in which the arrowverse ladies actually get to talk to one another

by silent_h



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Supergirl (TV 2015), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Multi, also the guys make cameos, i probably pay as much attention to the timeline as the legends do, i'll tag characters as i add them, if i tagged all the friendships i'd be here all day, laurel and len are both alive bc reasons, the dinah/siren hasnt happened yet but it's even MORE of an accident, the director sanvers was a complete accident i swear, those reasons are sara lance and mick rory, yes it's another chat fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2018-10-15 19:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 60,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10556116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silent_h/pseuds/silent_h
Summary: Felicity's pretty tired of only getting to talk to her friends when the world is ending, so she decides to start a groupchat. Looking back, that probably wasn't the best idea she's ever had.





	1. in which this was totally felicity's idea

**Author's Note:**

> So I've been in a bit of a writing block for months (well, closer to a year) and I figured, hey, why not try one of those chat fics I'm always seeing. I wasn't going to post it but then I wrote 3k words in like 2 hours so here, I hope you guys aren't tired of reading these.
> 
> This is more canon adjacent than anything. Basically, everything's the same, except:
> 
> -Laurel's alive, and was placed back in Star City between Black Siren's ruse and Barry running to the future. Oliver never revealed she was the BC and so ARGUS spun it that she was in witness protection. She's still a lawyer but taking a bit of a break from superheroing  
> -Len's alive and still travelling with the Legends. Their plans are now 20% more likely to work and contain 50% more puns  
> -the Legends didn't turn OOC and start hating on Mick for no reason  
> -Kara never started dating Mon-El  
> -Lucy didn't just disappear

**ladydeath** created the group **hello!!!!**

**ladydeath** added **speedygonzales** , **littlestlance** , **snowqueen** and 2 others to the group **hello!!!!**

 

 **snowqueen:** What is this?

 **ladydeath** : we never really get a chance to hang out and i figured this would be easier than trying to find a break in our schedules

 **speedygonzales** : and u r??

 **ladydeath** : ???

 **ladydeath** : oh wait!

 

 **ladydeath** changed their name to **smoakandmirrors**

 

 **smoakandmirrors** : wow sorry i forgot about that!!

 **betterlance** : _ladydeath_? Really?

 **smoakandmirrors** : look we all make bad decisions in college okay

 **smoakandmirrors** : and sometimes those bad decisions get you put onto a government watchlist

 **betterlance** : You know I’m still a lawyer, right?

 **irisbest** : and my dad’s a cop?

 **speedygonzales** : and i work for the mayor?

 **smoakandmirrors** : and those records are sealed and you can’t prove anything

 **littlestlance** : as iluminating as felicitys criminal past is, can we get back to more important stuff

 **littlestlance** : like the fact im currently outside of normal time and how this is even possible???

 **irisbest** : I’m guessing cisco did something

 **littlestlance** : say no more

 **smoakandmirrors** : hey _i_ set this up!

 **irisbest** : and you didn’t ask cisco for help?

 **smoakandmirrors** : only a little

 **irisbest** : uh huh

 **smoakandmirrors** : maybe more than a little

 **smoakandmirrors** : but still! mostly me!

 **irisbest** : if you say so

 **littlestlance** : gimme a sec i need gideon to replicate a phone

 **speedygonzales** : did she just say replicate??

 **smoakandmirrors** : yeah they have replicators

 **smoakandmirrors** : on their space/time ship

 **speedygonzales** : …

 **speedygonzales** : im on the wrong team

 

 **littlestlance** added **eyeofthetiger** to the group **hello!!!!**

 

 **littlestlance** : evry1 this is amaya she didnt hav a cellphone bc shes from the 40s

 **eyeofthetiger** : What is this?

 **littlestlance** : its like a telegraph, but not

 **betterlance** : I see that your years of time travel have taught you how to clearly explain things to people from different time periods

 **littlestlance** : sorry did u just say yrs of time travel?? that no 1 else has?? damn i wonder what that wud feel like

 **speedygonzales** : damn the lances are going OFF

 **eyeofthetiger** : Could someone please explain this to me?

 **snowqueen** : It’s a way of communicating with several other people who are very far away from each other

 **eyeofthetiger** : I see. So, like some futuristic telegraph then.

 **betterlance** : Oh no

 **littlestlance** : _oh what!1!!!_

**littlestlance** changed the group name to **alltheothercanariesarejustpretenderstothethrone**

**littlestlance** changed their name to **originalflavor**

**betterlance** : Wow

**betterlance** changed their name to **newandimproved**

**eyeofthetiger** : How do I change the name on the messages that I write?

 **originalflavor** : y wud u want 2??

 **newandimproved** : You’re only saving one character by typing 2 instead of to

 **newandimproved** : You literally only have to press one more key

 **originalflavor** : ur jst jelly u dont hav my mad typing skillz

 **smoakandmirrors** : did you just say skillz???

 **smoakandmirrors** : in this the year of our lord two thousand and sixteen??

 **originalflavor** : the best thing about timetravel is that, 4 me, its always the early 2000s

**eyeofthetiger** changed their name to **amayajiwe**

**amayajiwe** : Raymond showed me how.

 **originalflavor** : no u cant use ur actual name

**amayajiwe** changed their name to **vixen**

 

 **originalflavor** : do u all c what im dealing with here

 **vixen** : It’s not my actual name.

 **originalflavor** : oh u kno wat ur doing

 **vixen** : Yes, I am conversing with you.

 **speedygonzales** : ha burn

 **originalflavor** : p sure this is mutiny

 **vixen** : If I was mutinying, you would be more than pretty sure.

 **speedygonzales** : _damn son_


	2. in which there are life lessons and sara lance is an asshole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka hey Jesse!

**irisbest** changed the group name to **friendsfromotherearths**

**irisbest** added **quicksort** to the group **friendsfromotherearths**

 

**quicksort** : hello?

**irisbest** : hey jesse! this is an all-girls groupchat for superheroes

**quicksort** : okay that’s really cool

**irisbest** : guys, this is jesse wells aka jesse quick aka the flash

**irisbest** : she’s a speedster from earth 2

**quicksort** : wait, how are you even sending these to me? aren’t you guys still on your earth?

**irisbest** : yeah but cisco set it up, he’s really good at this stuff

**smoakandmirrors** : _*groupchat for superheroes and iris_

**speedygonzales** : damn iris, u need to call ur boyfriend round, bc u just got murdered

**irisbest** : _wow_

**smoakandmirrors** : come back to me when you have a codename

**speedygonzales** : even caitlin cant heal that burn

**snowqueen** : Please don’t bring me into this

**quicksort** : is it always like this?

**newandimproved** : Pretty much, yeah

**newandimproved** : I’m Laurel, by the way. The one fighting with Iris is Felicity

**newandimproved** : _snowqueen_ is Caitlin, _originalflavor_ is my little sister Sara, and the idiot making bad puns is Thea

**newandimproved** : Plus Amaya, going by _vixen_ , should be here, but I’m not sure where she is?

**originalflavor** : ray showed her how to mute the chat

**originalflavor** : apparently we r 2 immature or somthing

**newandimproved** : I'm pretty sure she was just talking about you

**originalflavor** : wow

**originalflavor** : my own fam

**speedygonzales** : wait no i have another 1

**speedygonzales** : u need to take a dip in the lazurus pit, bc u r _ded_

**originalflavor** : i feel like ur rehashing the 1st 1

**speedygonzales** : look i kno i make it look easy, but theres a lot of skill to this

**quicksort** : thanks for the intros

**quicksort** : and what do you guys all do? abilities wise? and do you all have codenames?

**irisbest** : you totally did that on purpose

**speedygonzales** : i shoot arrows into people, and i go by speedy

**speedygonzales** : (i kno its more a speedsters name, blame my stupid bro)

**smoakandmirrors** : i’m a hacker, and i’m Overwatch

**smoakandmirrors** : (i swear it was before the game came out)

**quicksort** : game?

**smoakandmirrors** : okay next time you're on this earth get cisco to set you up with a steam account

**newandimproved** : I just hit people and I have a sonic cry, but it’s a weapon not a power. And I used to go by the Black Canary, but now someone else has that name

**originalflavor** : i also hit ppl, but in a much better way, plus i had the sonic cry first

**newandimproved** : There was literally no need

**originalflavor** : and i was the original canary, but i go by white canary now

**originalflavor** : and captain

**originalflavor** : bc im the captian of a time ship

**originalflavor** : actually

 

**originalflavor** changed their name to **captainlancejr**

 

**quicksort** : .....why does your earth have much cooler superheroes than mine

**irisbest** : yeah, but you’re one of your earth’s only superheroes, which is much better

**quicksort:** I guess

**smoakandmirrors** : why junior?

**captainlancejr:** dads senior

**speedygonzales** : yh but hes not in the police anymore

**captainlancejr:** what????

**speedygonzales:** he works 4 me and ollie now at the mayors office

**captainlancejr** : omg i bet he hates that

 

**captainlancejr** changed their name to **theonlycaptainlance**

 

**quicksort** : is that everyone?

**snowqueen** : Everyone apart from me, but you already know about that

**quicksort** : wait, know what??

**irisbest** : oh yeah, you weren’t here

**quicksort** : for what??

**smoakandmirrors** : did something happen???

**snowqueen** : I have the metagene. It manifests as cold powers

**theonlycaptainlance** : lens gonna be so jealous

**smoakandmirrors** : wait since when????

**snowqueen** : A couple of months ago

**quicksort** : like killer frost???

**snowqueen** : Exactly like her

**irisbest** : no, nothing like her

**speedygonzales** : a few months?

**speedygonzales** : y didnt u help us out the last time we fought together?

**snowqueen** : Because I can’t control them

**snowqueen** : Sorry, I need to go do something

 

**snowqueen** has left the group

 

**speedygonzales** : did i do that? is she ok?

**irisbest** : she doesn’t like talking about this, but she can control her powers, but when she uses them, she can’t control herself?

**irisbest** : the last time she used them she nearly killed me

**irisbest** : and the time before that she tortured this guy and kidnapped and tortured another guy

**irisbest** : (he’s on our team now, long story)

**irisbest** : and she had a huge battle with barry and cisco

**smoakandmirrors** : oh my god

**irisbest** : yeah, and she stabbed barry and said really cutting things to him, and like, I’m not saying he deserved it, but

**irisbest:** obviously her actions were way out of proportion but I can understand where her anger’s coming from

**irisbest** : and none of us blame her, but I don’t think she believes us

**irisbest** : actually, do you mind if I go, I want to go and make sure she’s okay

**smoakandmirrors** : yeah, of course

**speedygonzales** : she doesn’t have to talk to me, but there was this time when i had this kind of curse which made me want to kill people?

**speedygonzales** : like i kno its not the same, but if she wants to talk to someone who doesnt judge and who kinda understands

**theonlycaptainlance** : i had the same curse, and im making the same offer

**theonlycaptainlance** : and if she ever wants to go to an uninhabited time period and just let her powers out, i can take her

**irisbest** : thanks guys, I don’t know that she’ll take you up on it, but I’ll pass the message along

 

**irisbest** has left the group

 

**quicksort** : I’m sorry

**newandimproved** : This isn’t your fault Jesse

**quicksort** : I was the one that brought the subject up

**speedygonzales** : yh but i was the one who pushed it

**newandimproved** : Okay, listen up because this is important and I’m only going to say it once

**newandimproved** : All of us have issues, and sometimes one of us will accidently touch a sore spot

**newandimproved** : That doesn’t make it any person’s fault

**newandimproved** : You just have to make sure that you remember where people’s boundaries are

**newandimproved** : And try to help the other person instead of worrying about the blame

**theonlycaptainlance** : that was surprisingly wise

**newandimproved** : Firstly, you’re an asshole

**theonlycaptainlance** : fair

**newandimproved** : Secondly, what did you think we did in AA meetings? Sung songs?

**theonlycaptainlance** : maybe

**theonlycaptainlance** : im joking that was a joke

**theonlycaptainlance** : i kno im a asshole but not that much

**speedygonzales** : yh shes not ollie

**smoakandmirrors** : and Thea Queen brings back the mood

**speedygonzales** : u met my family rite??

**speedygonzales** : if i didnt learn how to diffuse tension then they wouldve ended up killing each other yrs ago

**speedygonzales** : altho i guess they basically did so nm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently people liked this? Which is really cool, so thanks everyone. I hope I didn't scare you away with this slightly angstier chapter but these guys have been through some Stuff and I want them to actually talk about it. (well actually I want them to yell about it, but nevermind)
> 
> Also, I totally believe that Jesse reclaimed the name of Flash on her Earth because there's no way she's fighting crime under her own first name.
> 
> edit: also, guess who completely forgot that Overwatch isn't even on Steam?


	3. in which felicity smoak was definitely jealous and these people really need to talk to each other more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka which idiots left the legends in charge of the timeline??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is now the longest thing I've ever written, which is all kinds of ridiculous.

**theholylance** : yo guys can i ask u smth???

**smoakandmirrors** : sara???

**theholylance** : yh???

**speedygonzales:** what happended to ur name?????

**theholylance** : oh yh theres this powerful artifact called the spear of destiny but its also called the holy lance

**speedygonzales** : i dont care why u changed it i want to kno how

**theholylance** : and it can sort of rewrite reality

**theholylance** : wait what u kno how to change names on here???

**speedygonzales** : yh but none of us saw u do it

**theholylance** : oh i did it in my other groupchat

**speedygonzales** : OTHER GROUPCHAT????

**theholylance** : yh the legends one???

**irisbest** : I can’t believe you’re cheating on us

**theholylance** : theyre my team!! and i was in that 1 1st!!

**quicksort** : so you’re cheating on them with us?

**theholylance** : r u srsly telling me none of u hav other groups???

**smoakandmirrors** : no!!!

**theholylance** : so theres no team arrow gc???

**newandimproved** : Can you really see Oliver and Diggle joining in something like this?

**theholylance** : tru but dont u guys have a bby team

**smoakandmirrors** : do you mean the new recruits??

**smoakandmirrors** : bc they dont really like each other that much

**theholylance** : oh boy do i remember those days

**smoakandmirrors** : you’re talking about your team right?? bc we never hated each other

**theholylance** : ????

**theholylance** : fliss u and digg hated me!!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : we didn’t!!!

**theholylance** : srsly???

**smoakandmirrors** : it was weird seeing oliver so open around you when it took him ages to be like that with us but that’s it

**theholylance** : wait wait wait

**smoakandmirrors** : ???

**theholylance** : were u jealous????

**smoakandmirrors** : what no

**theholylance** : oh this makes so much sense

**smoakandmirrors** : we weren’t jealous!!!

**theholylance** : omfg thats y u were so weird on those painkillers!!

**smoakandmirrors** : i wasn’t jealous!!

**theholylance** : yh ok if u say so

**theholylance** : ;)

**smoakandmirrors** : i wasn’t!!!

**theholylance** : anyway what abt a team flash gc??? u guys are all tight right??

**theholylance** : lol rhymes

**irisbest** : I guess we never really needed one??

**irisbest** : bc we have speedsters and a teleporter so it’s not like we can’t get in touch easily

**quicksort** : and interdimensional communicators

**quicksort** : and cisco who i guess is that same thing

**snowqueen** : And we tend to spend a lot of time together anyway

**theholylance** : guys my team lives on 1 ship we only have 1 bathroom and we still have a gc

**snowqueen** : That sounds horrifying

**irisbest** : I think you guys might have some form of separation anxiety

**theholylance** : ok but what abt team nerd????

**smoakandmirrors:** you mean team tech

**theholylance** : doesnt that leave out caitlin tho???

**snowqueen** : I’m not a nerd

**irisbest** : sweetie, I love you and yes you are

**smoakandmirrors** : cisco and i text sometimes to keep each other up to date with what’s going on but that’s it

**theholylance** : damn u guys r super boring

**theholylance** : talk to other ppl u loners

**newandimproved** : Lovely as always

**smoakandmirrors** : okay i know thea said she didn’t care but i want to know about the holy lance

**theholylance** : ok so it rewrites reality and theres this team that some idiots are calling the legion of doom after it

**smoakandmirrors** : the legion of doom?? like the cartoons??

**theholylance** : cant belive im surrounded by nerds

**newandimproved** : Please tell me you know where it is

**theholylance** : well we have 1 piece of it and were pretty sure they dont have the other pieces

**snowqueen** : That’s not really comforting

**speedygonzales** : wait who r the doom legion

**smoakandmirrors** : legion of doom!!

**speedygonzales** : w/e

**theholylance** : yh abt that

**theholylance** : so u kno were timetravellers???

**newandimproved** : You only bring it up in every conversation

**theholylance** : and sometimes we fite against threats that prob wouldnt make sense to non timetravellers??

**newandimproved** : I really don’t like where this is going

**theholylance** : yh so the legion is made up of eobard thawne malcolm merlyn and damian darkh

**snowqueen** : That’s impossible, Eobard Thawne doesn’t exist

**newandimproved** : Darkh is dead, Sara, Oliver promised

**theholylance** : its a past version of darkh b4 he died but thawne is ~complicated~

**theholylance** : and thawne wants the spear so he properly exists agains and darkh wants it so he doesn’t die in the future

**speedygonzales** : merlyn wants it bc of me doesnt he

**theholylance** : sorry yh, he wants u him and tommy to be a family again

**speedygonzales** : of course he does

**speedygonzales** : i was wondering y he hadnt ruined my life lately and of course its bc hes trying to ruin the whole of reality

**irisbest** : can we help? evil speedsters are kind of our thing and we all have our own reasons for hating eobard

**theholylance** : no we have a handle on it

**theholylance** : i mean we probably cud hav used ur help figuring out which evil speedster thawne was bc u guys have a lot

**theholylance** : but now were ok

**theholylance** : well theyve kidnapped rip but hes a former time master hell be ok

**snowqueen** : Are you sure?

**quicksort** : yeah we have some experience with this sort of thing

**speedygonzales** : yh im not sure what we cud do but im always up for kicking my dads ass

**theholylance** : guys srsly weve got this and i kno u hav ur own problems. if we need help i promise well ask 4 it

**smoakandmirrors** : speaking of help, didn’t you want to ask us something??

**theholylance** : oh shit yh i almost forgot thx fliss

**theholylance** : so random question, how many stars does the us flag have?

**snowqueen** : 50

**irisbest** : ?????????????????????

**speedygonzales** : wtf

**newandimproved** : How can you not know that Sara?

**newandimproved** : Sara?

**smoakandmirrors** : SARA!!!!

**theholylance** : sorry i was talking to nate

**smoakandmirrors** : why did you even ask that?????

**theholylance** : dont worry abt it

**theholylance** : on a completly unrelated note

**theholylance** : can u name the states

**smoakandmirrors** : what did you do sara!!!!!

**theholylance** : dont yell at me!!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : then answer me!!!!

**theholylance** : i dont like ur tone!!!!

**irisbest** : how many states do we have in whatever version of the future you’ve just made?????

**theholylance** : y do u assume weve made an alt future????

**newandimproved** : Because we know you!

**theholylance** : ok fine but dont yell at me

**theholylance:** 49

**smoakandmirrors** : WHAT DID YOU DO SARA????????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're wondering, the Legends accidentally stopped Virginia from splitting. They don't think it's that big of a deal.  
> ("Why do we even need two Virginias? Isn't one enough? " "Sara, no-")


	4. in which shawna baez hates every life choice that’s lead her to this moment and iris west is maybe a little too invested

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka reality tv, superhero style

**snowqueen** changed the group name to **wellwellwell**

 

**snowqueen** changed their name to **guesswho**

 

**guesswho** : oh this looks like fun

**smoakandmirrors** : who the hell are you and what have you done with caitlin?????

**guesswho** : the docs fine, shes just a little _preoccupied_

**speedygonzales** : what tf is that suposed to mean

**irisbest** : guys it’s fine it’s just lisa snart

**guesswho** : excuse me, _just_ lisa snart???

**irisbest** : she kidnaps caitlin every now and again, she’ll give her back in a few hours once they finish their date

**speedygonzales** : …and i thought my love life was weird

**quicksort** : wait is she a bad guy??

**irisbest** : sort of?? why, who is she on your earth?

**quicksort** : the deputy mayor

**irisbest** : _the deputy mayor???_

**guesswho** : _your earth???_

**quicksort** : yes and yes

**quicksort** : it’s a really long story

**irisbest** : you should probably ask cisco

**theholylance** : yo little snart len and mick say hey

**guesswho** : tell them im still pissed at them

**theholylance** : woah they just went super pale

**guesswho** : as they should

**theholylance** : okay now i want to meet u

**theholylance** : LEN SAYS WERE NOT ALLOWED TO MEET NOW WE HAVE TO

**guesswho** : sara right? lennys told me about you

**theholylance** : bad things i hope

**guesswho** : oh definitely

**guesswho** : we have to meet up sometime, but now, caitlin wants her phone back

**guesswho** : and dont think im letting this other earth thing go

**guesswho** : later losers

 

**guesswho** changed their name to **snowqueen**

 

**speedygonzales** : damn i cant believe ur on a date w/ a supervillain

**smoakandmirrors** : i know cait, i didn’t know you were such a dark horse!!!

**snowqueen** : We’re not on a date

**newandimproved** : What are you doing together?

**snowqueen** : We’re just sitting in her living room

**theholylance** : mmhm

**snowqueen** : It’s not a date!

**theholylance** : _mmhm_

**irisbest** : cait, a thief just gave you your phone back just bc you asked

**snowqueen** : So?

**theholylance** : _wow_

**newandimproved** : I honestly don’t know how to respond to that

**snowqueen** : I have to go, I can't concentrate on two conversations at once

 

**snowqueen** has left the group

 

**smoakandmirrors:** what just happened???

**beammeupshawna** joined the group **wellwellwell**

 

**beammeupshawna** : pls help i am _dying_

**smoakandmirrors** : who are you and how did you get here????

**beammeupshawna** : your groups on public

**irisbest** : _felicity_

**smoakandmirrors** : oh whoops

**newandimproved** : I’m with Felicity right now, and she didn’t say _whoops_

**smoakandmirrors** : _thanks laurel_

**smoakandmirrors** : and i’m changing the privacy settings now

**theholylance** : u still havent said who u r tho

**beammeupshawna** : im the person who has to watch these two idiots flirt with each other

**beammeupshawna** : believe me, its painful

**irisbest** : wait, are you peekaboo?

**quicksort** : peekaboo?

**speedygonzales** : _peekaboo???_

**beammeupshawna** : i really hate that name

**beammeupshawna** : but yeah

**speedygonzales** : sorry, but _peekaboo?????_

**beammeupshawna** : blame ramon, i didnt pick it

**irisbest** : and I am super sad for you, but you need to send us updates

**speedygonzales** : yes livechat it 4 us!!!

**beammeupshawna** : gdi fine i guess i dont have anything better to do

**smoakandmirrors** : i’m getting popcorn

**theholylance** : ooh, same

**newandimproved** : You’re both terrible people

**smoakandmirrors** : you literally just took a handful of popcorn

**irisbest** : guys shut up I want to know what’s happening

**beammeupshawna** : ok so theyre sitting on the good couch making eyes at each other and awkwardly flirting

**beammeupshawna** : im in the armchair at the otherside of the room, i dont think they even know im here

**beammeupshawna:** jfc glider just did that thing where you stretch and put your arm around someone

**irisbest** : !!!!!

**speedygonzales** : wait srsly??? arent snarts meant to be super smooth??

**theholylance** : r u kidding snart is the most dorky guy i kno and i kno ray

**beammeupshawna** : yh gliders the same

**beammeupshawna** : its worse when theyre in the same room its like their dorkiness combines

**beammeupshawna** : im going to throw up i cant believe tht just came out of her mouth

**irisbest** : what???

**beammeupshawna** : glider: i stole this amber necklace last week that reminds me of your eyes

**theholylance** : see???? theyre dorks

**speedygonzales** : hotdamn thats some grade a cheese

**newandimproved** : That’s actually _kind of_ sweet? If you think about it?

**irisbest** : I mean, I’ve heard snart say worse in his fights with the flash tbh

**beammeupshawna** : holy shit the docs not having any of it

**beammeupshawna** : doc: you know thats an admission of guilt

**theholylance** : omgg

**irisbest** : oh cait no

**beammeupshawna** : doc: i can go to the police with that

**speedygonzales** : damn she needs to go to them bc she just straight up murdered her

**beammeupshawna** : HOW DID IT GET WORSE???

**quicksort** : there’s no way it can be worse

**beammeupshawna** : glider: why, do you have a thing for me in handcuffs?

**quicksort** : ok nevermind

**smoakandmirrors** : well at least i’ve never said anything as bad as that

**newandimproved** : Yes you have

**smoakandmirrors** : shhhhh

**beammeupshawna** : THE DOC JUST TURNED BRIGHT RED AND MUMBLED SOMETHING ABOUT JUSTICE JFC

**irisbest** : omg cait

**smoakandmirrors:** I JUST CHOKED ON MY POPCORN

**beammeupshawna** : wait wait wait

**irisbest:**?????

**beammeupshawna** : gliders going in for the kiss

**irisbest** : _asdfghghjnm_

**speedygonzales** : !!!

**irisbest** : _FINALLY_

**newandimproved** : Oh wow

**beammeupshawna** : oh mY GOD

**irisbest** : what???

**beammeupshawna** : THE DOC DODGED IT

**irisbest** : _NOOOO_

**theholylance** : lmao get rekt

**newandimproved** : Not helping

**beammeupshawna** : wait no

**irisbest** : what??

**speedygonzales** : what????

**newandimproved** : What’s happening?

**irisbest** : come on this is years of ust you can’t just leave it there

**beammeupshawna** : yeah sorry i had to leave the room

**beammeupshawna** : theyre making out

**newandimproved** : YES

**speedygonzales** : _YES_

**smoakandmirrors** : wow get it caitlin

**quicksort** : this has been a rollercoaster

**theholylance** : len says tell lisa congratulations

**beammeupshawna** : yeah im not going back in there anytime soon

**beammeupshawna** : west, you still there?

**smoakandmirrors** : yeah iris, I thought you’d be the most excited

**smoakandmirrors** : iris??

**irisbest** : hey sorry this is Barry. Iris and Cisco are just screaming?

**irisbest** : yeah now they’re dancing and screaming?

**irisbest** : oh wow, I just read up the chat, well done Caitlin

**beammeupshawna:** hey allen, tell ramon that my codename sucks and i want a new one

**irisbest** : um okay

**irisbest** : wait, how do you know my name???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo guess who has ~10k of these idiots yelling at each other over messenger. _this idiot_


	5. in which amaya jiwe is the only adult on the waverider and everybody else is lowkey concerned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka pt2 of which idiots trusted the legends with the timeline

**theholylance** : so

**theholylance** : snow

**snowqueen** : Yes?

**theholylance** : how was ur date?????

**snowqueen** : It wasn’t a date

**speedygonzales** : damn caitlin thats cold

**theholylance** : _nice_

**snowqueen** : What are you talking about?

**quicksort** : we sort of watched it?

**snowqueen:** I don’t understand

**irisbest** : shawna baez livechatted the whole thing

**snowqueen** : I didn’t even realize she was there

**irisbest** : okay think about that sentence and tell me it wasn’t a date

**snowqueen** : It wasn’t!

**smoakandmirrors** : you just randomly make out with people you’re not dating??

**theholylance** : i do

**newandimproved** : Yes, we all know you do

**theholylance** : not sure if ur judgey or jealous

**snowqueen** : We didn’t make out

**irisbest** : yeah we know you did

**snowqueen** : It was only a kiss

**speedygonzales** : _HOW DID IT END UP LIKE THIS?? IT WAS ONLY A KISS_

**theholylance** : _IT WAS ONLY A KISS_

**newandimproved** : You’re not helping

**snowqueen** : Can we just talk about something else right now?

**smoakandmirrors** : you know, as someone who’s dealt with this kind of thing a lot

**smoakandmirrors:** ignoring it totally doesn’t work

**snowqueen** : I know, just not now, okay?

**smoakandmirrors:** okay

**smoakandmirrors** : so anyway, new topic?????

**theholylance** : ok so i guess this is like sort of related to the old one but

 

**theholylance** changed their name to **lancelot**

 

**lancelot** : guess who just made out with queen guinevere and inspired the legend of lancelot!!!!!

**newandimproved** : Ray?

**lancelot** : dont h8 jst bc u cant rel8

**newandimproved** : How old are you again?

**lancelot** : age has no meaning to a timetraveler

**lancelot** : and im p sure im actually older than u now

**newandimproved** : Wait what???

**lancelot** : but anyway i kissed her but b4 that, and i quote

**lancelot** : me: i enjoyed meeting u

**lancelot** : her: and i you, sara lance. a lot

**lancelot** : !!!!!!!!!

**lancelot** : guys y is nobody else excited?????

**smoakandmirrors** : no we are

**speedygonzales** : yh it sounds cool

**lancelot** : u dont sound like it

**quicksort** : I’m excited for you!

**lancelot** : ur from a diff world evrthing is exciting 2 u

**irisbest** : hey!

**quicksort** : no, that’s fair

**snowqueen** : This is just the sort of thing we expect from you, that’s all

**lancelot** : oh

**speedygonzales** : its still awesome tho!!!

**lancelot** : i guess ill have to try harder to surprise u all

**snowqueen** : That’s not what I meant at all

**newandimproved** : Please don’t

**lancelot** : no i gotta

**lancelot** : and i guess it sucks that they changed me into a dude bc heteronormativity

**smoakandmirrors:** i honestly can’t believe you spelled that right

**lancelot** : rude

**lancelot** : also they made guinevere into a cheater, which not cool

**lancelot** : (yes i kno, ironic coming from me)

**irisbest** : you’re telling me king arthur and queen guinevere weren’t married????

**irisbest** : they were my childhood!!!

**lancelot** : u an ray shud probably talk

**lancelot** : and no they were married but not romantic/sexual

**lancelot** : i think they might have been like that word

**lancelot** : gay friends??? but not actual gay friens

**lancelot** : like more than friends but not in love???

**smoakandmirrors** : queerplatonic??

**lancelot** : yes!!

**speedygonzales** : _gay friends_

**lancelot** : look im sorry i didnt have time to learn queer terminology while i was busy saving the universe

**newandimproved** : You can’t use that excuse for everything

**lancelot** : can and will

**lancelot** : plus i met merlin and shes super hot

**speedygonzales** : _she???_

**quicksort** : merlin isn’t a woman on your earth?

**speedygonzales** : _i didnt think she was??_

**newandimproved** : No way, I don’t believe you

**lancelot** : ugh fine let me get amaya to unmute the chat

**lancelot** : ok shes here

**vixen** : Sara insisted she needed my help with something on here.

**lancelot** : amaya tell everyone that merlins a woman bc they dont believe me

**vixen** : I told you I don’t have time for these childish antics.

**lancelot** : amaya im ur captain u have to

**vixen** : You realize that we have an actual important job to do?

**lancelot** : please!!!!!!

**lancelot** : u can go again after this convo

**lancelot** : i jst need u to prove a point

**vixen** : Fine.

**vixen** : Merlin is a woman.

**speedygonzales** : !!!!!!

**lancelot** : suck it laurel

**newandimproved** : I was going to apologize and now I’m not

**speedygonzales** : but how is she a woman???

**vixen** : She’s my former teammate.

**lancelot** : ur former _hot_ teammate

**lancelot** : wait no

**lancelot** : ur _hot_ former teammate

**lancelot** : anyway, that means im in the lead

**snowqueen** : In the lead of what?

**vixen** : One of their ridiculous competitions.

**lancelot** : 1 of our _awesome competitions_

**quicksort** : you guys have competitions?

**smoakandmirrors** : of course they do

**lancelot** : ok so basically we have:

**lancelot** : 1)how many famous people can u kiss/makeout/sleep with

**lancelot** : 2)how many famous people can u prove are queer

**lancelot** : 3)how many (minor) marks on history can u make (eg paintings, statues etc)

**lancelot** : and 4)how many stories/legends/fairytales can u inspire

**speedygonzales** : dude

**speedygonzales** : thats awesome

**irisbest** : I don’t know if awesome’s the word I’m looking for

**lancelot** : so obvs im winning the first

**smoakandmirrors** : obviously

**lancelot:** snarts winning the 2nd but only bc he made us start over bc he said it wouldnt be fair since he wasnt here

**lancelot** : and micks winning the 3rd bc people rlly like painting him??

**lancelot** : and rays winning the 4th bc he keeps doing stupid shit nd then they think hes like a woodland nymph or smth

**smoakandmirrors** : …yeah i can see that

**snowqueen** : Is anyone else concerned that these are the people in charge of the timeline?

**smoakandmirrors** : apart from you amaya obviously

**vixen** : Thank you.

**irisbest** : a little bit yeah

**lancelot** : at least were doing a better job than ur bf

**speedygonzales** : _OHHHHHHHH_

**speedygonzales** : _get rekt_

**irisbest** : why does everyone always pick on me????

**newandimproved** : Okay this is all very exciting but can we get back to the fact that you’re older than me??

**lancelot** : oh yh

**newandimproved** : What did you do??

**lancelot** : nothing!!!!!

**lancelot** : back when we were still fighting savage the waverider was attacked and it had to make an emergency jump to the timestream

**lancelot** : but me ray and kendra were still in the 50s and bc of the damage they couldnt pick us up until 2 yrs l8r

**newandimproved** : You never told me that

**lancelot** : u werent exactly around when i came back

**newandimproved:** Right, sorry

**lancelot** : that wasnt ur fault dumbass dont ever apologize for that

**newandimproved** : Thanks, I think

**lancelot** : but yh so that made us abt the same age but then with all the timetravel in between im p sure im abt a yr older

**newandimproved** : Oh

**lancelot** : ur still my big sister tho

**newandimproved** : I don’t think that’s how it works

**lancelot** : whos the time master here??? thats right, me

**lancelot** : even if i turn up in a few days and im like 80 then ur still the big sister sorry i dont make the rules

**newandimproved** : Thanks Sara

**newandimproved** : Though you’re not actually going to do that?

**lancelot** : of course not

**lancelot** : im not gonna reach 80 im gonna be executed the night b4 my 40th bday 4 sleeping with a member of a royal family

**newandimproved** : Sara no

**lancelot** : or be burned at the stake as a witch i havent decided yet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really need to sleep so this probably won't be all that coherent, but, some things:  
> I'm guessing that anyone who comments has noticed that I tend to take a while to answer, which isn't like anything to do with anyone, but just general anxiety stuff. But, I'll definitely answer them all, just eventually. To anyone that has commented, thank you so much. And to people who have just left kudos or bookmarked or just read, also thank you! I'm glad you like this. Also, since this is something I didn't know until recently, if you are a person that's liked this but hasn't wanted to leave comments/kudos/bookmarks for any reason (which, believe me, I completely understand), then you can still subscribe and ao3 won't tell me who you are. It only tells me how many people are subscribed (I think ~60 now? which is ridiculous and also sorry, you 60 odd people, for my tired ramblings).
> 
> Also also, has anyone else thought about the fact that Sara is now probably older than Laurel will ever be? Because I only just realised that and now I'm sad.


	6. in which laurel lance is the mom friend and sara lance saved the world. a lot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka hey Dinah!

**smoakandmirrors** changed the group name to **welcometotheclub**

 

**smoakandmirrors** added **thirdtimesthecharm**  to **welcometotheclub**

 

**smoakandmirrors** : guys, this is dinah! she’s the new Black Canary

**lancelot** : is she now

 

**smoakandmirrors** changed the group name to **allcanariesarewelcome**

 

**lancelot** changed the group name to **aretheynow**

 

**smoakandmirrors** : _Sara_

**lancelot** : _Felicity_

**smoakandmirrors** : did you seriously just use a capital letter???

 

**newandimproved** changed the group name to **ignoresarashedoesntknowwhatshestalkingabout**

 

**lancelot:** y did u make that the chat name u cudve just said that in a msg???

**newandimproved** : Because it’s a life lesson that everyone should follow

**lancelot** : _wow, my own fam_

**thirdtimesthecharm** : thanks btw

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I’m going to make sure I don’t let the name down

**irisbest** : yeah ignore sara, it’s nice to meet you

**thirdtimesthecharm** : it’s nice to meet you guys too

**thirdtimesthecharm** : not that I really know who any of you are

**quicksort** : we really need some kind of list with everyone’s names

**smoakandmirrors** : well i guess now you know sara, and the one defending you is laurel

**smoakandmirrors** : speedy’s thea, quick’s jesse, snow’s caitlin

**smoakandmirrors** : and iris is iris

**smoakandmirrors** : bc _someone_ wasn’t being imaginative when they thought up their name

**irisbest** : these names reflect who we are as people

**irisbest** : ie, I’m the best and you’re just a bunch of tricks

**speedygonzales** : _ohhhhhh_

**snowqueen** : Really? This again?

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I’m sorry if I started something?

**newandimproved** : No, they’re just idiots

**smoakandmirrors** : hey!!!

**irisbest** : she started it!!

**smoakandmirrors** : oh we all know who started it, _iris_

**newandimproved** : Well I’m ending it

**lancelot** : omg

**speedygonzales** : _mom friend, activate_

**newandimproved** : I’m not the Mom friend

**speedygonzales** : ??????????

**lancelot** : did u rly jst say that???

**newandimproved** : What???

**speedygonzales** : u r like the most mom friend ever

**smoakandmirrors** : yeah, you sort of are

**newandimproved** : No, Digg’s the Mom friend

**lancelot** : u can hav more than 1 mom friend in a group laurel

**lancelot** : besides, digg is only like half a mom friend, ur more like 90%

**newandimproved** : What’s the other ten percent?

**lancelot** : (ง'̀-'́)ง

**newandimproved** : What does that mean?

**lancelot** : it means u need to go on the internet more bc ur a nerd

**newandimproved** : Thanks Sara

**irisbest** : hey dinah, can I ask a question???

**thirdtimesthecharm** : uh yeah, sure

**irisbest** : is your chat name to do with you being the third black canary?

**thirdtimesthecharm** : yep, why?

**irisbest** : bc I thought there were four of you?????

**smoakandmirrors** : nope. only three

**snowqueen** : No, I’m pretty sure I remember there being a girl with you during the alien invasion

**quicksort** : wait aliens??????

**smoakandmirrors** : nope, three

**lancelot** : pls tell me ur bf didnt screw up the timeline again

**irisbest** : hey!!!

**speedygonzales** : no the girl between laurel and dinah turned out to be a backstabbing bitch so were not counting her

**smoakandmirrors** : usually i’d object to the swearing, but yeah basically

**irisbest** : oh

**smoakandmirrors** : plus she ended up using the name Artemis, so

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I guess at least I can’t be as bad as that one then

**quicksort** : okay I’m sure this is important and everything, but can we go back to the _alien invasion_??

**quicksort** : why did no one call me??

**snowqueen** : It was kind of a rushed operation

**irisbest** : yeah, even I didn’t get to help

**irisbest** : not that I’m bitter or anything

**smoakandmirrors** : sorry, codenames only

**irisbest** : ughhh

**thirdtimesthecharm** : It was before I joined team Arrow

**newandimproved** : I wasn’t there either

**speedygonzales** : yh, but u were dead

**quicksort** : wait what

**thirdtimesthecharm** : oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask about that

**thirdtimesthecharm** : Canaries have a tendency to die, and I kinda don’t want to do that

**lancelot** : we get better tho

**lancelot** : its the mark of a tru canary

**smoakandmirrors** : Sara Lance you shut down that train of thought right now!!!

**lancelot** : i didnt say anything!

**smoakandmirrors** : so you weren’t going to suggest that dinah get herself killed to see if she resurrects and proves that she’s a True Canary???

**lancelot** : well it sounds bad when you put it that way

**quicksort** : ok how many of you people have died??

**newandimproved** : Do you mean Canaries? Or just heroes/vigilantes in general?

**quicksort** : in general

**newandimproved** : Well there’s me, Sara and technically Thea

**newandimproved** : And maybe Oliver?

**newandimproved** : Am I missing anyone?

**lancelot** : len, plus the hawks used to have this whole reincarnating thing going on, and they’ve died 206 times

**irisbest** : and barry’s sort of died a few times, plus all of us have died a ridiculous amount of times in alternate timelines

**quicksort** : wow

**irisbest** : plus, you know, the future

**quicksort** : oh god sorry

**irisbest** : no it’s fine

**irisbest** : if we couldn’t joke about dying then I’m pretty sure half of us wouldn’t have anything to talk about, so

**lancelot** : _hey, i've died twice!!!!!_

**smoakandmirrors** : !!!!!!!!

**speedygonzales** : [iunderstoodthatreference.jpg]

**newandimproved** : Only one of those times really counts though

**lancelot** : oh no i was talking about that time i died the other day

**lancelot** : but if were including pseudo deaths then id smoke all of u bitches

**newandimproved** : What do you mean the other day??

**lancelot** : oh yh did i tell u rip got brainwashed???

**newandimproved** : No???

**lancelot** : ok well the legion of doom (still a stupid name) brainwashed him into being an evil douchebag

**lancelot** : and he shot me but then gideon brought me back to life

**speedygonzales** : _lol rip sara_

**smoakandmirrors** : _Thea_

**speedygonzales** : what??? shes clearly fine now

**newandimproved** : Why didn’t you tell me??

**lancelot** : if i called u up everytime im in danger then id never be off the phone

**lancelot** : plus, b4 cisco souped up our phones, i wouldve had 2 fly back 2 2017 every time smth bad happens

**lancelot** : and thats like, a lot of times

**lancelot** : and rips onboard now an were gonna try and unbrainwash him so

**thirdtimesthecharm** : fly back?

**quicksort** : sara leads a team of timetravelling superheroes

**thirdtimesthecharm** : oh

**quicksort** : yep

**newandimproved** : There’s _in danger_ and then there’s _came back from the dead_

**lancelot** : laurel theyre basically the same thing when it comes to me

**newandimproved** : _Sara_

**lancelot** : look i promise ill call u next time i die okay

**newandimproved** : That’s all I ask

**lancelot** : anyway

**lancelot:** sorry, i couldnt not make that ref, but iris what were u talking abt??

**irisbest** : ????

**lancelot** : u said smth abt the future??

**irisbest** : oh right

**irisbest** : so barry accidentally ran forward in time and watched me get murdered

**smoakandmirrors** : oh my god are you okay?

**irisbest** : I don't really know

**irisbest** : it doesn’t feel like it’s real tbh

**irisbest** : it's just sort of numb?

**irisbest** : I guess we’ve been close to death so many times that it hasn’t really sunk in yet

**irisbest** : and the future can be changed right?

**irisbest** : sara?

**lancelot** : short answer: yes

**lancelot** : slightly longer answer: it depends

**irisbest** : and the long answer?

**lancelot** : the long answer is smth u shud talk to rip abt when we unbrainwash him

**lancelot** : but like i kno i rag on ur bf a lot abt his treatment of the timeline

**lancelot** : but we all kno that he can change the future

**lancelot** : and the legends can lend a hand if u want

**irisbest** : no you guys have a lot on your plate rn

**lancelot** : im gonna say this again

**lancelot** : _timetravel_

**irisbest:** yes I know, but I also know you guys can’t always help

**lancelot** : ????

**irisbest** : like when you got stuck in the 50s?

**lancelot** : u kno abt that???

**irisbest** : we were still here when you two were talking about that, we just decided to give you some space

**lancelot** : oh

**irisbest** : I’m guessing that’s what’s happening now too

**speedygonzales** : yep

**lancelot** : look, we r dealing w/ a lot rn

**lancelot** : like, reality level shit

**lancelot** : BUT

**lancelot** : well still help when u need us

**lancelot** : (and yes im talking abt u creepers watching the convo as well)

**smoakandmirrors** : we’re trying to give you two some privacy

**lancelot** : yeah yeah

**lancelot** : and also laur im espesh talking to u bc i kno how stupidly self sacrificing u can be

**newandimproved** : No I’m not?

**speedygonzales:**???????

**lancelot** : hoo boy yes u r but thats a tlk 4 a diffrent day

**lancelot** : so anyway if u get to a pnt where u need some1 w/ time travel info

**lancelot** : or u kno, an actual timetravelling ship

**lancelot** : hmu, ok?

**irisbest** : I will, thank you

**lancelot** : also new girl i guess this includes u 2

**thirdtimesthecharm** : thanks?

**smoakandmirrors** : yh that’s basically sara’s way of apologizing

**newandimproved** : That’s pretty much all you’re going to get

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, literally every five minutes of the Flash's _we have to change the future_ arc: BOY IF ONLY YOU KNEW SOMEONE EXPERIENCED WITH TIME TRAVEL
> 
> Also, because for some reason I tagged them way too early and I'm pretty sure some people are wondering: the supergirl ladies turn up in chapter 8. I honestly did think it would be before that, but then there were some earth-1 events that I needed to get through and I kept having to push the chapter back, so sorry about that.


	7. in which iris west is smug and everything is complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka mirror, mirror

**lancelot** changed the group name to **thelastnamewasstupidandsoislaurel**

 

**newandimproved** changed the group name to **whydoyouhavetobesuchachild**

**lancelot** changed the group name to **whydoyouhavenosenseofhumor**

**newandimproved** changed the group name to **idoyourejustnotfunny**

**smoakandmirrors** changed the group name to **ifyoutwodontstopthenillbanyou**

 

**lancelot** : u wouldnt

**smoakandmirrors** : try me

**lancelot** : ugh fine

**smoakandmirrors** : laurel?

**newandimproved** : I don’t like fighting anyway

**lancelot** : ????????

**speedygonzales** : ??????

**smoakandmirrors** : ???????

**newandimproved** : What? I don’t

**speedygonzales** : hey remember when u tried to kill my dad by yourself??

**speedygonzales** : or when u took on every criminal u cud find and u had no training???

**newandimproved** : Only because someone wouldn’t train me

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that someone was oliver?

**lancelot** : yooooo new girl catches on fast

**quicksort** : wait I thought that oliver’s the guy that trains everyone

**irisbest:** barry always says he’s his mentor

**smoakandmirrors** : it’s complicated

**speedygonzales** : you just summed up ollies entire life in 2 words

**lancelot** : ooh wait jesse i just remembered i need to ask u something

**quicksort** : okay?

**lancelot** : jesse u kno that u said that ur earth’s lisa snart was the deputy mayor?

**quicksort** : yes?

**lancelot** : what abt the rest of us? who r we on ur earth???

**speedygonzales** : yes!!! i need to kno this!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : ooh yes i want to know who my mirror self is

**quicksort** : are you guys sure?? because sometimes knowing what an alternate version of yourself is like can be bad

**thirdtimesthecharm** : okay what the hell are you all talking about??

**irisbest** : did you guys forget to give dinah the multiverse talk????

**smoakandmirrors** : in my defence, it’s been a busy couple of weeks

**smoakandmirrors** : besides, you guys are better at that sort of thing

**irisbest** : okay, so, the guys usually give a long explanation

**snowqueen** : With a whiteboard

**irisbest** : right, yeah the relativity whiteboard

**irisbest:** but basically: alternate universes are real

**thirdtimesthecharm** : and I was just starting to get my head round time travel

**irisbest** : it takes a while, but you’ll get used to it

**thirdtimesthecharm:** so there’s another me on another earth?

**quicksort** : well quite a few earths, but yeah. the earth we’re talking about now is mine

**thirdtimesthecharm** : because you’re from another earth

**quicksort** : yep

**thirdtimesthecharm** : and you’re talking to us from that earth???

**quicksort** : yep

**thirdtimesthecharm** : oh

**thirdtimesthecharm** : okay

**thirdtimesthecharm:** so why shouldn’t we know what our alternate self is like?

**snowqueen** : Believe me, sometimes you’re better off not knowing

**speedygonzales** : ur double was a bad guy???

**snowqueen** : That’s putting it mildly. She killed a lot of people, and tried to kill me

**snowqueen:** And she kept hitting on me?

**snowqueen** : It was disturbing, to say the least

**lancelot** : honestly??? i doubt alt me can be worse than regular me

**newandimproved** : Don’t talk about yourself like that

**lancelot** : not current regular me bc shes better than all of u

**smoakandmirrors** : thanks

**lancelot** : but past regular me who broke up relationships and also murdered people

**speedygonzales** : well there is that

**quicksort** : well okay then??? let me get to a computer

**quicksort** : I’m guessing sara and laurel’s last name is lance and felicity’s is smoak?? but I don’t know thea’s or dinah’s?

**thirdtimesthecharm** : dinah drake

**speedygonzales** : its thea queen

**speedygonzales** : its easy to remember bc im a queen

**quicksort** : do you mean like the queen family in starling? because on my earth they only had a son called oliver

**irisbest:** had?

**quicksort** : he died about ten years ago

**smoakandmirrors** : wait so laurel’s doppel was telling the truth??

**quicksort** : you’ve met black siren???

**lancelot** : black siren??????

**smoakandmirrors** : yeah she’s locked up in an argus prison

**lancelot** : nobody thought to tell me that laurel has an evil twin?????

**smoakandmirrors** : it’s a long story

**lancelot** : what if she broke out and i thought she was laurel????

**smoakandmirrors** : yh but what are the chances of that happening again??

**lancelot** : again?????

**smoakandmirrors** : look we’ll tell you the story properly when you’re next in town

**lancelot** : ugh fine

**speedygonzales** : so anyway back to me

**lancelot** : _wow_

**speedygonzales** : what abt the merylns?? bc long story but my bio dad is actually malcolm merlyn

**quicksort** : are you still sure you want to know?

**speedygonzales** : wow so im guessing im either evil or dead

**speedygonzales** : yes i still want to kno

**quicksort** : there is a mia merlyn but she’s in jail for mass murder

**speedygonzales** : oh

**smoakandmirrors** : thea?

**speedygonzales** : the undertaking?

**quicksort** : yes actually? that happened here too?

**speedygonzales** : yh, but i wasnt part of it

**speedygonzales** : god she mustve only been 18

**newandimproved** : Are you okay?

**speedygonzales** : better than ok

**smoakandmirrors** : ???????

**speedygonzales** : im not the worst version of me

**speedygonzales** : nothing i can do will ever be that bad

**quicksort** : that’s a really positive way of thinking about it

**speedygonzales** : making good things out of bad situations is my best quality

**speedygonzales** : i'm a politician

**lancelot** : ok move over queen its my turn

**speedygonzales:** rude

**smoakandmirrors** : well, black siren said that her family was dead

**smoakandmirrors** : i sort of thought it was a sympathy play but she wasn’t lying about oliver

**lancelot** : im dead???

**quicksort** : my earth’s sara lance died in a shipwreck

**lancelot** : wait no thats what every1 thought happened here but i actually survived

**smoakandmirrors** : yh but wouldn’t alt!sara have told alt!laurel????

**lancelot** : u think i survived the shipwreck but died after??

**newandimproved** : Well that is what happened here

**lancelot** : wait

**lancelot** : how did the rest of the lances die?

**quicksort** : I don’t really know? the report says they suspected poisoning but they couldn’t identify it

**lancelot** : i guess that worlds nyssa isnt as forgiving as ours

**smoakandmirrors** : you think it was the league??

**lancelot** : untraceable poison????? ofc it was the league

**quicksort** : league?

**lancelot** : of assassins. i used to be a member

**lancelot** : well twice actually

**lancelot** : timetravel

**quicksort** : you were an assassin???

**lancelot** : yup. i was awesome

**lancelot** : my name was ta-er al-sahfer, which means canary

**newandimproved** : Doesn’t it actually mean ‘yellow bird’?

**lancelot** : it means canary

**smoakandmirrors** : no we looked it up on google translate, it means yellow bird

**lancelot** : googles a little bitch it means canary

**newandimproved** : Do you want me to call Nyssa and ask her?

**lancelot** : y do u have my exs number even i dont have it

**newandimproved** : Sometimes we meet up for milkshakes and sparring

**lancelot** : ?????

**lancelot** : ur my sis ur meant to be on my side of the breakup

**newandimproved** : You didn’t break up, you died and then you became a time traveller

**lancelot** : details

**lancelot** : but anyway ur not meant to able to leave the league apart from dying

**lancelot** : and if u dont die they can go after ur family to make u go back

**lancelot** : but nyssa let me leave

**snowqueen** : I thought you did die?

**lancelot** : that was the 2nd time i left, nyssa let me go the 1st time, then ras let me go the 3rd

**irisbest** : why did you keep going back???

**lancelot** : i was in a bad headspace

**lancelot:** it’s complicated

**lancelot** : anyway, anyone else???

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I’m getting the feeling that I probably don’t want to know about my double

**quicksort** : really?

**thirdtimesthecharm** : well, no, but also yes

**thirdtimesthecharm** : why, do you know who she is?

**quicksort** : yeah, it was a big news story not that long ago

**quicksort** : are you sure?

**thirdtimesthecharm** : let me guess: undercover cop killed by the mob?

**quicksort** : yes, how did you know???

**thirdtimesthecharm** : it nearly happened here

**thirdtimesthecharm** : my powers kicked in just as I was about to die

**irisbest** : wait, powers??? are you from central???

**thirdtimesthecharm** : born and raised

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I never met your dad, but I heard good things about him, and barry allen

**thirdtimesthecharm** : and eddie thawne

**irisbest** : thank you

**thirdtimesthecharm** : just relaying the message

**thirdtimesthecharm** : though honestly, from all the stuff I heard about allen, I’m not surprized he’s the flash

**irisbest** : yeah, I love him, but god knows that boy can’t keep a secret

**thirdtimesthecharm** : and what thea said, about making a good thing? I feel the same about my double

**thirdtimesthecharm** : she was fighting for justice and I’m proud to be like her

**smoakandmirrors** : okay do me next!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : yes sara i know

**lancelot** : honestly u do that so often that i dont even pick up on it anymore

**lancelot** : anyway, whats alt fliss like?

**quicksort** : okay, I’m looking her up now

**quicksort:** do really want to know?

**smoakandmirrors** : well you can’t not tell me now

**smoakandmirrors** : just do it

**quicksort** : okay

**quicksort** : she killed herself in prison

**quicksort** : I’m sorry

**quicksort** : felicity??

**newandimproved** : ??????

**lancelot** : what???

**newandimproved** : I’m with Felicity and she just yelled _Son of a bitch!_

**speddygonzales** : wtf???

**smoakandmirrors** : i’m cooper!???

**irisbest** : who’s cooper and how did they get felicity to swear???

**lancelot** : wait y r u w/ fliss???

**newandimproved** : It’s Doctor Who night

**lancelot** : _nerds_

**smoakandmirrors** : are you kidding me!??

**smoakandmirrors** : cooper????

**newandimproved** : Okay, now she’s just saying _bastard_ under her breath

**irisbest** : ok seriously who is this person???

**smoakandmirrors** : a guy i dated in college

**irisbest** : oh

**smoakandmirrors** : he got arrested for some cyber terrorism and then he faked his death (without telling me it was fake) so he could work for the nsa

**smoakandmirrors** : and then he left the nsa and turned up in starling and caused a citywide blackout so he could rob a bank

**smoakandmirrors** : using my computer virus!!! that he stole from me!!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : oh and also he kidnapped me and my mom

**snowqueen** : I feel like your priorities are mixed up

**smoakandmirrors** : but then the arrow showed up and distracted him long enough for me to kick his ass

**speedygonzales** : so alt u is a terrorist????

**smoakandmirrors** : wait does that mean that alt!me got her ass kicked by alt!coop bc that’s not fair

**quicksort** : well we don’t have whatever the nsa is, but there was a blackout in starling and the bank was robbed, but the hacker was never caught

**smoakandmirrors** : alt!team arrow never stopped alt!me?????

**speedygonzales** : woah

**lancelot** : fliss ur not allowed to ever turn evil

**lancelot:** none of us wud be able to stop u

**smoakandmirrors** : you lead a time travelling team of superheroes????

**lancelot** : so???? youd still win

**speedygonzales** : ur bffs w/ literally every superhero????

**newandimproved** : And you know everybody’s strengths and weaknesses

**irisbest** : plus you can hack all of our tech

**thirdtimesthecharm** : you could probably play us all off against each other

**snowqueen** : I guess the next time I turn evil I need to take Felicity out first

**thirdtimesthecharm** : ?????

**smoakandmirrors** : cait?????

**snowqueen** : It was a joke

**lanceot** : wow gotta say ur not great at tone

**snowqueen** : I get that a lot

**newandimproved** : It’s good that you’re joking about it though

**snowqueen** : Cisco said that it can help

**smoakandmirrors** : does it?

**snowqueen** : Not really

**thirdtimesthecharm** : so I’m guessing I missed whatever this is about?

**smoakandmirrors** : it’s kind of like how you were before oliver recruited you

**thirdtimesthecharm** : oh

**snowqueen** : How were you were you then?

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I was sort of on a revenge killing spree?

**snowqueen** : Oh

**thirdtimesthecharm** : they weren’t very nice people, but it still wasn’t particularly healthy

**thirdtimesthecharm** : or legal, obviously

**thirdtimesthecharm** : it was just like I needed to make them hurt like I hurt

**snowqueen** : That’s how it feels for me too

**snowqueen** : Only the people I hurt aren’t always bad people

**snowqueen** : It’s complicated

**thirdtimesthecharm** : well, I’m sure you’re probably sick of people saying it will get better

**thirdtimesthecharm** : but it sounds like emotionally I wasn’t too different from you a few months ago and I just passed a police pysch eval

**thirdtimesthecharm** : so yeah

**snowqueen** : No, it helps, thank you

**speedygonzales** : not to ruin the moment but our cops arent _that_ stable

**thirdtimesthecharm** : thanks thea

**speedygonzales** : apart from u!!!

**quicksort** : okay, so that’s everyone?

**smoakandmirrors** : no there’s still iris

**irisbest** : oh I already know who my e2 double is: she’s a cop

**speedygonzales** : a cop?????

**irisbest** : well she’s a detective that fights against bad metas, but yeah

**smoakandmirrors** : seriously???

**irisbest** : plus she survived through the whole of zoom’s control of the city

**irisbest** : and helped to take him down

**newandimproved** : I feel like this is unfair

**speedygonzales** : how come u get the good double?????

**irisbest** : sorry

**irisbest** : I guess I’m just awesome in every universe

**smoakandmirrors** : _wow_

**lancelot** : u kno i can hear ur smugness all the way from the cretaceous period

**irisbest** : :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this was slightly late, I'm busy revising.  
> And no, I have absolutely no idea why this chapter is so long. It just kept growing?
> 
> (also, how long do you think it'll take for this to be jossed? because we better get some black siren backstory and there's no way it'll be the same as mine)


	8. in which little sisters are the worst and alex danvers just can’t get a break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka hey team supergirl!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this ridiculous story about these women yelling at each other over text that i started writing because i was bored and had writer's block is now nearly at 10k and over 200 kudos??? wow okay.  
> @all the people who read this: i'm not really sure why you guys stick with this, but thanks

**smoakandmirrors** changed the group name to **hellofromtheotherside**

 

 **smoakandmirrors** added **puppydanvers** to **hellofromtheotherside**

 

 **puppydanvers** : hello???

 **smoakandmirrors** : hi, is this kara danvers?

 **puppydanvers** : yes??

 **smoakandmirrors** : it’s felicity smoak!! (from that time we fought off the dominator invasion?)

 **puppydanvers** : wait, from the other earth???

 **smoakandmirrors** : yes!!

 **puppydanvers** : omg!! this is awesome!!!

 **smoakandmirrors** : i know!!!

 **snowqueen** : Oh no, there’s two of them

 **puppydanvers** : how is this even possible!!??

 **smoakandmirrors** : _don’t you even think about it west_

 **irisbest** : cisco set it up

 **puppydanvers** : oh okay

 **irisbest** : (sorry)

 **smoakandmirrors** : (whatever)

 **puppydanvers** : hey do you mind if I add some other people???

 **puppydanvers** : they already know about the whole other earths thing

 **smoakandmirrors** : sure

 **lancelot** : no guys tho

 **lancelot** : its like our brand

 

 **puppydanvers** added **agentdanvers** and **betterthanyou** to the group **hellofromtheotherside**

 

 **puppydanvers** : guys, this is my sister alex and my friend lucy!!

 **agentdanvers** : hi

 **betterthanyou** : sup

 **puppydanvers** : and these are some of the people I was telling you about, the ones I met on the other earth

 **puppydanvers** : though I don’t think I’ve met all of you??

 **quicksort** : it’s okay, I have a spreadsheet

 **quicksort** : [introductions.xls]

 **speedygonzales:** u actually made it????

 **quicksort:** I figured it would be useful for situations like this

 **quicksort** : I try to keep it updated, but if there’s a name on here you don’t recognise, then it’s probably sara

 **quicksort** : she goes through a lot of them

 **lancelot** : thats what she said

 **newandimproved** : She’s also a teenage boy

 **smoakandmirrors** : and dinah isn’t here, she’s at work, bc she’s the only one of us with an actual day job

 **newandimproved** : I have a job! I just don’t have a case right now

 **smoakandmirrors** : right, sorry

 **irisbest** : and I have a job too!!!

 **smoakandmirrors** : do you iris

 **smoakandmirrors** : do you really

 **irisbest** : yes!!!

 **agentdanvers** : isn’t a list of all your secret identities a security risk?

 **quicksort** : it probably would be, but I keep it on my earth

 **speedygonzales** : yh, and were all dead or evil over there so it doesnt really matter

 **snowqueen** : Or both

 **irisbest** : um excuse me

 **speedygonzales** : oh apart from iris, shes a cop

 **irisbest** : a _badass_ cop tyvm

 **quicksort** : and caitlin’s girlfriend is the deputy mayor of central city on my earth

 **quicksort** : but I think she’s a supervillain on their earth?? so it kind of balances out

 **puppydanvers** : you’re dating a supervillain?????

 **snowqueen** : No

 **snowqueen:** She’s not my girlfriend

 **irisbest** : it’s cute that you still think that

 **lancelot** : so anyway kara

 **lancelot** : is this the sister u were telling me abt?????

 **agentdanvers** : kara?

 **puppydanvers** : okay so don’t be mad

 **puppydanvers** : but sara was flirting with me and I maybe said she should speak to you instead??

 **agentdanvers** : of course you did

 **lancelot** : so???

 **agentdanvers** : oh

 **agentdanvers** : I sort of have a girlfriend?

 **betterthanyou** : u do?????

 **betterthanyou** : since when?????

 **betterthanyou** : who is she????

 **puppydanvers** : her name’s maggie and she’s a cop and she likes guns and tiny trees

 **agentdanvers** : kara

 **puppydanvers** : am I lying??

 **agentdanvers** : you’re the worst

 **lancelot** : so

 **lancelot** : how opens ur relationship

 **newandimproved** : Oh my god Sara!!!!

 **betterthanyou** : oh i like u

 **lancelot** : itd b worse if i didnt ask!!

 **agentdanvers:** you don’t even know what I look like?

 **lancelot** : im flexible

 **speedygonzales** : [phrasing.jpg]

 **newandimproved** : I can’t believe you just asked that

 **lancelot** : uve known me literally all my life how is this still suprising??

 **betterthanyou** : [alex.jpg]

 **betterthanyou** : so now you kno what she looks like ;)

 **smoakandmirrors** : oh wow

 **speedygonzales** : ur like super hot

 **agentdanvers:** lucy why

 **vixen** : Did something just happen?

 **puppydanvers** : woah, who are you???

 **smoakandmirrors** : amaya??? you unmuted the chat???

 **vixen** : For the moment, yes.

 **quicksort** : sorry, I forgot to put you on the list! you don’t usually hang around here

 **smoakandmirrors** : kara, alex, lucy, this is amaya!! she’s from the 50s!! she’s awesome!!

 **agentdanvers** : wait what?

 **smoakandmirrors** : and why, what do you mean?

 **vixen** : Sara just looked down at her phone, and then spat out her drink into Raymond’s face.

 **betterthanyou** : this is the actual best moment of my entire life

 **puppydanvers** : alex is blushing

 **puppydanvers** : just so you know

 **betterthanyou** : this is now the actual best _day_ of my entire life

 **agentdanvers:** kara why

 **puppydanvers** : :):):):)

 **betterthanyou** : i no longer need to live, my consciousness is abt to Ascend

 **betterthanyou** : tell j’onn i want my official cod to be alex danvers gay ass

 **agentdanvers** : christ lucy

 **betterthanyou** : ur all invited to my funeral, clothings optional

 **vixen** : I’m guessing that this isn’t something that needs my attention.

 **speedygonzales** : probably not

 **smoakandmirrors** : bye amaya!!!! it’s nice to see you!!!

 **lancelot** : ok im back

 **lancelot** : also damn danvers

 **betterthanyou:** back at it again with the sexy face

 **lancelot** : ok noah fence danvers bc ur like the hottest person ive seen

 **lancelot** : but i think lucy might be my actual soulmate

 **agentdanvers** : there is literally none taken you two seem perfect for each other

 **betterthanyou** : after everything ive done for u ur just gonna do me like that huh

 **agentdanvers** : you tried to arrest me?

 **betterthanyou** : why do u always have to get stuck on the bad parts??

 **lancelot** : yes i hate it when ppl do that

 **newandimproved** : Do you really want to go there Sara?

 **lancelot** : or we cud talk abt smth else

 **newandimproved** : That’s what I thought

 **agentdanvers** : can we go back to how amaya is from the 50s? because _what_

 **lancelot** : yh me and amaya (an the rest of our team) r timetravellers

 **puppydanvers:** what!!!!!!

 **speedygonzales** : ikr??

 **lancelot** : and im the captain of a timeship nbd

 **betterthanyou** : well ok then

 **agentdanvers** : how is that even possible? how does that even work?

 **lancelot** : idk i just fly the ship and lead the team

 **agentdanvers** : _how can you be a time traveller and not understand time travel?_

 **lancelot** : u just gotta not sweat the small stuff

 **agentdanvers** : _the small stuff?_ you’re talking about _time travel_

 **lancelot** : yh but its jst basically another day 4 me

 **lancelot** : well actually less than a day bc nate pissed gideon off and now were on 22 hr cycles

 **lancelot** : gideons the ships ai btw

 **lancelot** : shes v petty and v hot

 **snowqueen** : Isn’t she a blue disembodied head?

 **lancelot** : well yh but when we were in the cretaceous we went into rips mind to unbrainwash him and we met a human version of her there

 **lancelot** : shes flirts a lot and im like 99% sure she made out w/ rip when we left

 **agentdanvers:**?????

 **lancelot** : what

 **agentdanvers** : you’re talking about talking to the autonomous ai that controls your time ship

 **lancelot:** yh??

 **agentdanvers** : while you were in someone’s mind, while you were in the cretaceous period

 **agentdanvers** : how are you so unaffected

 **lancelot** : u kno i think its dying??? stuff seems less surprising after uve been resurrected

 **betterthanyou** : ?????????????????

 **puppydanvers** : is your earth always like this?????

 **quicksort** : you get used to it

 **newandimproved** : No you were always like this

 **speedygonzales** : maybe its just a star city thing

 **smoakandmirrors** : no bc then digg wouldn’t always be so surprised

 **speedygonzales** : tru

 **puppydanvers** : omg I wish you guys could see alex rn

 **puppydanvers** : she’s just pacing around and waving her arms in the air

 **smoakandmirrors** : just try not to think about it alex

 **speedygonzales** : yh sara isnt known 4 being srs abt this kind of stuff

 **lancelot** : and u r??????

 **speedygonzales** : …ok u got me there

 **lancelot** : besides arent ur lives sort of ridiculous anyway???

 **lancelot** : like dont u guys fite aliens???

 **betterthanyou** : ok yh tru

 **quicksort** : you guys know aliens????

 **puppydanvers** : ?????????????

 **speedygonzales** : omg ur abt to make jesses gotdamn mind

 **quicksort** : ???

 **puppydanvers** : I’m an alien

 **quicksort** : REALLY!!!

 **puppydanvers** : yes!! :D

 **puppydanvers** : and our boss is an alien too

 **quicksort** : !!!!!

 **quicksort** : that is so cool!!!

 **quicksort** : do you have alien superpowers????

 **speedygonzales** : she has like 50 and theyre awesome

 **puppydanvers** : I don’t have that many! and I only have them bc of earth’s sun + gravity

 **quicksort** : oh that sounds fascinating

 **quicksort** : how does that work???

 **snowqueen** : I was wondering about that when we met

 **snowqueen:** Would you ever let me take a look at your DNA?

 **quicksort** : if she does you’ve got to let me see too, I want to compare it to ours

 **snowqueen** : Ours meaning metas or ours meaning human?

 **quicksort** : both? I mean, we can get dna from both right?

 **snowqueen:** Easily, and we need to do brain scans

 **quicksort** : ooh yes

 **irisbest** : guys, maybe tone it down a bit???

 **irisbest** : you’re starting to sound like mad scientists

 **quicksort** : I can’t help it!! it’s really interesting! 

 **puppydanvers** : you should probably set up a meeting with alex, she’s the bio nerd

 **smoakandmirrors** : wait i thought you were some sort of secret agent

 **agentsdanvers** : yeah, but I have a phd in bioengineering

 **lancelot** : ur a doctor 2???

 **betterthanyou** : and she surfs 2

 **lancelot** : jfc

 **betterthanyou** : ikr????

 **agentdanvers** : you guys know that I can see everything you’re writing?

 **betterthanyou** : wud u like us to create a separate chat where we talk abt how hot u r?

 **agentdanvers** : no thank you

 **puppydanvers** : you could invite maggie!

 **agentdanvers** : KARA DON’T YOU DARE

 **betterthanyou** : did i ever tell u ur my fave danvers?

 **agentdanvers** : I’LL TELL MOM

 **puppydanvers** : woah too far alex

 **puppydanvers** : it was just a joke don’t tell mom

**agentdanvers** has left the group

 

 **betterthanyou** : uh oh

 **puppydanvers** : GUYS I HAVE TO GO ALEX IS CALLING MOM

 

 **puppydanvers** has left the group

 

 **smoakandmirrors** : i guess sisters are the same in every universe

 **betterthanyou** : ugh dont i know it

 **newandimproved** : Are you older or younger?

 **betterthanyou** : younger

 **speedygonzales** : younger sisters r the best!!!!

 **irisbest** : hey!!!

 **newandimproved** : Seriously??

 **lancelot** : sry guys, younger sisters are way better than older

 **newandimproved** : That’s not what you said when I got my first car

 **lancelot** : laurel

 **lancelot** : i hate to tell u this

 **lancelot** : but ive been driving since i was 14

 **newandimproved** : Wait did you scratch my first car????

 **newandimproved** : You said it was the neighbor!!!

 **lancelot** : well it was nice meeting u all g2g

 

 **lancelot** has left the group

 

 **newandimproved** : I’m going to kill her

 

 **newandimproved** has left the group

 

 **snowqueen** : Isn’t Sara still on the Waverider?

 **speedygonzales** : oh belive me laurel will find a way

 **betterthanyou** : guys sorry i g2g i cant get hold of either of the danvers and j’onn jst sent me a dozen texts in a row

 **betterthanyou** : i have to make sure they havent destroyed the deo

 

 **betterthanyou** has left the group

 

 **smoakandmirrors** : yep, the same in every universe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in which the supergirl ladies _finally_ turn up.  
>  so this fic is still mostly earth 1 based, which is making me want to do a seperate fic just for earth 58. (though there's already a supergirl chat fic going round atm and it's really good, so um maybe not)
> 
> (edit: earth 38, goddamnit)
> 
> also, about alex: is she a md?? does she have a phd?? what even is her specialised field of study?? who knows not me


	9. in which felicity smoak is an enabler and there is big news

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka gorilla city

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i'm going to be really busy this weekend so here, have this small chapter and i'll try and post a longer one sometime next week

**smoakandmirrors** changed the group name to **whatthehell!!!!**

**smoakandmirrors** added **newandimproved** and **lancelot** to **whatthehell!!!!**

**smoakandmirrors** : guys what the hell is happening in central?????

**speedygonzales** : y whats going on??

**snowqueen** : What do you mean?

**smoakandmirrors** : giant gorillas????

**snowqueen** : Oh, that

**irisbest** : it’s a long story, but nobody’s seriously hurt

**thirdtimesthecharm** : yeah, it just happens sometimes

**smoakandmirrors** : ???????

**smoakandmirrors** : _what the hell is wrong with you people_

**smoakandmirrors** : i can’t believe that you guys think people from star are weird

**lancelot** : WAIT A MINUTE

**newandimproved** : Felicity, what have you done???

**smoakandmirrors** : ?????

**speedygonzales** : DID U JST SAY GIANT GORILLAS??

**smoakandmirrors** : oh no laurel i’m so sorry

**irisbest** : guys don’t

**quicksort** : ???

 

**lancelot** changed their name to **harambe**

**speedygonzales** : damnit i was gonna do that!!!!

**newandimproved** : Change it back

**harambe** : cant

**quicksort** : What does it mean?

**snowqueen** : I don’t know?

**smoakandmirrors** : how can you not know????

**irisbest** : we don’t really do memes in star labs

**speedygonzales** : NO MEMES????????

**speedygonzales** : what do u do?????

**snowqueen** : We fight crime?

**irisbest** : bad experiments mostly. and a lot of singing

**smoakandmirrors** : so you really don’t know what this is about????

**snowqueen** : No?

**harambe** : oh you sweet summer child

**snowqueen** : No I know that one, it’s Game of Thrones!

**speedygonzales** : _wow_

**newandimproved** : Can you two just stop???

**harambe** : u can stop bad guys but u cant stop these dank memes

**newandimproved** : I hate you

**quicksort** : so what is harambe??

**thirdtimesthecharm** : no idea

**speedygonzales** : what!!!!!

**speedygonzales** : y do i even hang out w/ u ppl???????

**thirdtimesthecharm** : Well I have been kinda busy over the last few years

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I missed a few things

**speedygonzales** : oh god sorry!!!

**thirdtimesthecharm** : no it’s okay I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad

**irisbest** : he was this gorilla that died and the internet went nuts over it

**smoakandmirrors** : you mean they went _bananas_ over it

**speedygonzales** : omg

**newandimproved** : Stop enabling them!!

**smoakandmirrors** : i can’t help it!!!

**harambe** : sry guys, but fliss belongs w/ us as a True Memelord™

**newandimproved** : I can’t believe I brought you back to life for this

**harambe:** u dont choose the memelife, the memelife chooses u

**newandimproved:** I’m a lawyer and a vigilante how the hell did I even get to this conversation

**harambe:** while u were studying law i studied the blade

**quicksort** : I feel like this is why amaya won’t talk to us

**irisbest** : okay guys seriously, can you stop for a second?

**irisbest:** I have something to tell you

**newandimproved** : Yes, please, anything apart from this

**irisbest** : and sara first you have to change your name

**harambe** **:** what no

**irisbest** : please?

**irisbest** : this is important news and I can’t take you seriously

**harambe** : ugh fine

 

**harambe** changed their name to **lancelot**

**irisbest** : thanks

**lancelot** : this better be some news

**irisbest** : okay so

**irisbest** : barry and I are getting married!!!!

**newandimproved** : Congratulations!!

**thirdtimesthecharm** : congrats!

**smoakandmirrors** : mazel tov!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : and  _finally_

**speedygonzales** : u know im still the richest person here, in case u need any funding

**smoakandmirrors** : *cough* _humble brag_ *cough*

**speedygonzales** : its not my fault u guys keep losing ur companies

**smoakandmirrors** : wow

**lancelot** : congrats

**lancelot** : maid of honor or gtfo

**newandimproved** : Sara

**lancelot** : relax laur im kidding, i kno its cait

**snowqueen** : No it’s not

**irisbest** : ????? yes it is??

**irisbest** : who else would it be???

**irisbest** : cait????

**snowqueen** : Really?

**irisbest** : yes really, you’re my best friend you idiot

**snowqueen** : Oh

**irisbest** : I mean, I was gonna ask you to your face

**lancelot** : shit sorry

**irisbest** : I guess at least this way none of us are crying

**newandimproved** : Felicity’s crying

**smoakandmirrors** : i’m not ashamed of my emotions

**irisbest** : we’ve been through so much together

**irisbest** : of course I want you by my side for this

**irisbest** : though you know I’m asking you, not telling you, right?

**irisbest** : you don’t have to say yes

**snowqueen** : Are you sure?

**irisbest** : if you mean am I sure you don’t have to say yes: yes

**irisbest** : if you mean do I want you to be my maid of honor: yes

**irisbest** : re: best friend, re: idiot

**snowqueen** : I don’t know that I’ll be any good at it, but yes

**irisbest** : you’ll be great at it

**snowqueen** : And that isn’t really how ‘re:’ works

**lancelot** : she said yes!

**irisbest** : oh and since we’re doing this, felicity?

**smoakandmirrors** : yes?

**irisbest** : I know that the timing’s always wrong in this line of work

**irisbest** : and that maybe something will come up before we get to it

**irisbest** : but will you be one of my bridesmaids?

**irisbest** : felicity????

**irisbest** : don’t leave me hanging here

**smoakandmirrors** : sorry, yes!!!!! of course yes!!!!

**newandimproved** : She’s actually full on sobbing now

**smoakandmirrors** : shu t up laurel

**irisbest** : sorry I didn’t mean to make you cry!!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : i’m not crying

**newandimproved** : Yeah she is

**lancelot** : man this days chat has been a ride

**speedygonzales** : from memes to felicity sobbing

**newandimproved** : Felicity: Stop making fun of me I am a small person with big feelings

**speedygonzales** : st op maekign fnu off me,,,, i a m a smol personn wiht bigge feelligns

**smoakandmirrors** : i hate you both

**lancelot** : anyone else got any big revelations???? might as well get them out now

**quicksort** : kind of, though I don’t know how it compares to iris’ news

**irisbest** : no if this is what I think it is, then it is important!

**speedygonzales** : u kno, for a reporter, that wasnt a great sentence

**irisbest** : bite me queen

**irisbest** : don’t even think about it sara

**lancelot** : damn west, ur fast

**irisbest** : I have to be, to keep up with three speedsters

**irisbest** : speaking of, sorry jesse, go ahead

**quicksort** : okay, so I’m moving to your earth

**speedygonzales** : really???

**quicksort** : yes! but I don’t know for how long

**speedygonzales** : we gotta meet!!

**quicksort** : yes!!!

**speedygonzales** : ok so: u me jax wally roy and sin need to meet up and start a club

**newandimproved** : Ooh baby vigilantes!!

**speedygonzales** : im a adult!!!!

**quicksort** : so am I!!

**irisbest** : oh you guys are adorable

**smoakandmirrors** : you should call yourselves young justice

**speedygonzales** : felicity!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : that’s what you get for making fun of me

**irisbest** : or teen titans

**smoakandmirrors** : ooh alliteration, nice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: you need to write something touching and heartfelt about iris and barry's engagement  
> me to me: memes
> 
> (sorry, but you know that sara and len make gideon tell them about future memes, like that's not even a headcanon it's basically a fact. also, ray tries to join in with those two and he's just so _bad_ at it. sorry ray)


	10. in which this isn’t technically jesse wells’ fault and kara danvers is going to be kicking herself tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka pt3 of which idiots left the legends in charge of the timeline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not sure that this chapter is that good, but i'm tired and this is late anyway, so

**lancelot** changed the group name to **P-A-R-T-WHY???**

**lancelot** : so i had an idea

**speedygonzales** : BC I GOTTA

**speedygonzales** : sorry

**lancelot** : nah i figured some1 wud

**lancelot** : ok so i had an idea

**lancelot** : so i have a time ship

**newandimproved** : Wow, really? I never would’ve guessed

**lancelot** : ok salty u can go last

**smoakandmirrors** : last for what???

**lancelot** : so i was thinkin i cud take u guys places for ur bdays??

**speedygonzales** : srsly????

**lancelot** : yup

**lancelot:** well within reason

**lancelot** : but yup

**lancelot** : tho wed have to work out a system for who goes when

**newandimproved** : Wouldn’t we go by whoever’s birthday comes first?

**lancelot** : i am literally floating in a timeless void rn try again

**lancelot** : and i already said ur last so

**snowqueen** : Isn’t it dangerous to mess with time like this?

**lancelot** : yh for team flash maybe

**irisbest** : wow thanks

**lancelot** : but we r time masters

**smoakandmirrors** : didn’t you literally blow up the actual time masters

**lancelot** : fliss

**lancelot** : felicity

**lancelot** : i cant hear u over the sound of the timeship im piloting and all the people weve saved

**lancelot** : anyway

**lancelot:** who wants to go where

**lancelot** : well???

**smoakandmirrors** : i’m thinking

**snowqueen** : Yes, I want to pick the perfect place

**lancelot** : ok we already kno fliss and cait and jesse are gonna pick somewhere nerdy af so what abt the rest of u??

**quicksort** : hey!!

**smoakandmirrors** : i know i should be offended but you’re 100% right

**thirdtimesthecharm** : where was your favorite place?

**lancelot** : probably the wild west its awesome

**lancelot** : u can just get drunk and shoot people and nobody blinks

**newandimproved** : I vote not there

**lancelot** : also dont go to the 50s unless u like queerphobia sexism and racism

**lancelot** : 2/10 do not recommend

**irisbest** : what was the 2????

**newandimproved** : It was because of a hot person, wasn’t it?

**lancelot** : sometimes it scares me how well u kno me

**smoakandmirrors** : what about like a premiere of a famous film?

**lancelot** : if ur thinking star wars rays already booked it for his bday

**smoakandmirrors:** can i go with him??????

**lancelot** : ill ask him later but lbr hes gonna say yes

**speedygonzales** : guys

**speedygonzales** : guYS

**speedygonzales** : WOODSTOCK

**irisbest** : oh!!

**lancelot** : im taking kendra there

**lancelot** : but we cud make it a girls day out if u want??

**irisbest** : yes!!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : i vote yes!!

**thirdtimesthecharm** : thirded!

**newandimproved** : Fourthed!

**speedygonzales** : it was my idea so u technically fifthed

**newandimproved** : Do you really want to get into semantics with a lawyer?

**smoakandmirrors** : wait, where is kendra???

**lancelot** : idk shes travelling the world finding herself or something

**smoakandmirrors** : really? where did she get the money?

**lancelot** : think abt what u just said

**smoakandmirrors** : ???

**smoakandmirrors** : oh yeah, wings

**thirdtimesthecharm** : should I even ask??

**irisbest** : cisco’s ex-girlfriend turned out to be a reincarnated hawk goddess

**thirdtimesthecharm** : oh

**lancelot** : shell love this, ill add her to this when she gets back in touch

**lancelot** : anyway what abt u cait? do u want to come with?

**snowqueen** : It sounds like it’s going to be a trainwreck, so sure

**speedygonzales** : _damn caitlin_

**snowqueen** : Sorry

**snowqueen** : Bad day

**lancelot** : nah its cool i grew up with laurel and her default mode is bitchy

**newandimproved** : Hate you

**lancelot** : and bc of that ive got like a super thick skin so if u ever need to yell at some1 im here

**snowqueen** : That’s a weirdly nice offer?

**lancelot** : thats my speciality

**snowqueen** : I’ll think about it, thanks

**lancelot** : no prob

**newandimproved** : You know you can be nice to someone without being mean to someone else at the same time

**lancelot** : no i cant it physically pains me

**quicksort** : guys quick question

**quicksort** : what’s woodstock

**irisbest** : it was an iconic american music festival in the 60s

**lancelot** : basically sex drugs and rock n roll

**lancelot** : wait shit laur r u going 2 be ok?

**newandimproved** : Thanks for the worry, but I know my limits

**newandimproved** : And I’m pretty sure you guys are going to need a sober friend

**snowqueen** : Three, actually

**smoakandmirrors** : you’re not drinking?

**lancelot** : and who else???

**snowqueen:** I don’t entirely trust my control over my powers when fully sober, so I’m not even going to chance alcohol

**snowqueen** : And Jesse’s underage

**quicksort** : not on my earth I’m not!!!

**lancelot** : or in ny in the 60s

**irisbest** : sara!!!

**lancelot** : not that im trying to undermine u or anything

**irisbest** : uh huh

**snowqueen** : Sorry Jesse, but Harry wouldn’t be happy with us if we let you drink

**irisbest** : yeah, I’ve gotta go with cait, your dad would kill us

**quicksort** : yeah I get that a lot

**lancelot** : ok so woodstock for thea and star wars for fliss, any other ideas??

**lancelot** : oh wait!!

**newandimproved** : What?

**lancelot** : do u think i shud ask team supergirl??

**quicksort** : it would be nice having other people who don’t know what you guys are talking about

**smoakandmirrors** : wait, where are they???

**irisbest** : weren’t you meant to add them back to the main chat???

**smoakandmirrors** : whoops

**lancelot** added **agentdanvers,** **betterthanyou** and **puppydanvers** to the group **P-A-R-T-WHY???**

**smoakandmirrors** : dinah, this is kara, alex and lucy!!

**thirdtimesthecharm** : hi, I’m dinah

**agentdanvers** : I’m alex

**betterthanyou** : lucy

**agentdanvers** : and kara’s out patrolling and her phone’s on silent so she probably won’t see any of this

**lancelot** : ah, a superheros work is never done

**newandimproved** : The last time you were in Star City you spent two whole days watching Ghost Hunters

**lancelot** : did i ask???

**smoakandmirrors** : anyway i’m sorry i forgot to add you guys back!!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : i was too busy freaking out over the giant meta-gorilla invasion!!!

**agentdanvers** : that’s okay, we’ve been dealing with a lot recently

**agentdanvers** : wait what??

**agentdanvers** : _what is wrong with your earth_

**betterthanyou** : im starting to feel like ur earth is the fun earth

**speedygonzales** : damn straight

**lancelot** : as if any1 in this chat is straight

**speedygonzales** : well u got me there

**newandimproved** : I’m guessing you don’t want to talk about whatever it is that you’ve been dealing with?

**agentdanvers** : I really don’t

**betterthanyou** : so apart from gorillas whats happening w/ u guys??

**lancelot** : read up the chat

**betterthanyou** : oh!!!!!

**agentdanvers** : I'm sorry you guys know a reincarnated hawk goddess??

**lancelot** : yh one time she nearly killed me it was awesome

**agentdanvers** : you know what I'm not even going to ask

**newandimproved** : You get used to it

**lancelot** : so anyway what do u otherearthers think??

**lancelot** : wanna come to this earths version of woodstock???

**agentdanvers** : I can’t believe that you’re using timetravel to give people vacations

**lancelot** : well what else would i use it for???

**lancelot** : screwing up the timeline for the tenth time???

**lancelot:** *cough* team flash *cough*

**irisbest** : seriously??? from you???

**agentdanvers** : I’m getting the feeling that I should come just to keep most of you out of trouble

**newandimproved** : Yeah that feeling’s pretty usual around here

**lancelot:** imma take that as a yes

**lancelot** : lane????

**betterthanyou** : oh yh of course, but also:

**betterthanyou** : do u have hamilton on ur earth???

**speedygonzales** : !!!!!!!!!!!

**irisbest** : why did none of us think of that???

**smoakandmirrors** : we have to go to the opening night!!!

**lancelot** : yes!!!!!!!

**lancelot** : lane ur a genius!!!!!

**betterthanyou** : oh i kno

**quicksort:** seriously, still???

**speedygonzales** : ????

**quicksort** : okay so what’s hamilton?

**newandimproved** : Oh no

**agentdanvers** : what have you done???

**quicksort** : ?????

**betterthanyou** : HOW DOES A BASTARD ORPHAN SON OF A WHORE

**agentdanvers** : stopppp

**speedygonzales** : AND A SCOTSMAN DROPPED OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF A FORGOTTEN SPOT

**lancelot** : IN THE CARRIBBEAN BY PROVIDENCE IMPOVERISHED IN SQUALOR

**snowqueen** : Please stop

**irisbest** : GROW UP TO BE A HERO AND A SCHOLAR

**smoakandmirrors** : GROW UP TO BE A HERO AND A SCHOLAR

**smoakandmirrors** : goddamnit iris!!!

**irisbest** : i guess you threw away your shot

**lancelot** : thats what u get when u wait for it

**quicksort** : what’s happening???

**betterthanyou** : hey at least u were in the room where it happened

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I don’t really know? I missed whatever this is

**newandimproved** : Hamilton’s a hip hop musical and these guys are obsessed with it

**snowqueen** : This is just going to be Hamilton references now, isn’t it

**agentdanvers** : yep

**newandimproved** created the group **nope**

**newandimproved** added **snowqueen** and **agentdanvers** to the group **nope**

**newandimproved:** Needed somewhere away from that

**agentdanvers** : oh thank god

**snowqueen** : No Jesse or Dinah?

**newandimproved** : I try not to hold grudges, but I only just got them to stop doing this

**newandimproved** : And I figured Dinah should get a chance to experience this

**newandimproved** : The last time this happened, Felicity changed everyone’s ringtones to songs from the soundtrack

**snowqueen** : Wow, I forgot about that

**agentdanvers** : on her phone or yours?

**snowqueen** : Ours

**agentdanvers** : then why did you let her have your phones then?

**newandimproved** : We didn’t, she’s a hacker

**agentdanvers** : ah, I know what that’s like

**agentdanvers** : what did you get anyway?

**snowqueen** : A Winter’s Ball

**newandimproved** : Burn

**agentdanvers** : okay, I get winters ball is for the pun but why burn?

**newandimproved** : Right, I keep forgetting that you don’t know our pasts

**newandimproved** : It’s kind of a long story

**agentdanvers** : okay but changing ringtones doesn’t sound that bad

**snowqueen** : Have you ever heard a room full of criminals singing The Story of Tonight? Because I have

**agentdanvers** : what

**newandimproved** : Stop hanging out in supervillains’ lairs then

**agentdanvers** : again: what

**snowqueen** : It’s a long story

**newandimproved** : I mean it’s not that long

**snowqueen** : And Cisco and Lisa keep forcing me to listen to the soundtrack to ‘get a better appreciation’ of it

**newandimproved** : A better appreciation?

**snowqueen** : I didn’t really like it?

**agentdavers** : wait, really?

**snowqueen** : I get why other people would, but it’s not really my thing

**newandimproved** : Don’t let any of the others hear you say that

**snowqueen** : Oh believe me, I’ve learnt from my mistakes

**agentdanvers** : that’s cute and all

**agentdanvers** : but lucy and kara and vasquez once sung the schuyler sisters for SIX HOURS ON A LOOP

**agentdanvers** : SIX HOURS

**agentdanvers** : ON A LOOP

**newandimproved** : Jesus

**agentdanvers** : and my boss is telepathic and it got stuck in his head and he had the flu at the time so there was a lot of mental feedback

**snowqueen** : Okay, you win

**agentdanvers** : there were no winners that day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kara, checking her phone 2 hours later: GUYS I JUST READ THE CHAT I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HAD A HAMILTON PARTY WITHOUT ME?????
> 
> (there is literally no plot in this chapter, this is basically an interlude. i figured these people deserved a break)


	11. in which we all knew it was coming and laurel lance would very much like to talk about literally anything else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka doomworld

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was already done, so have another i guess
> 
> also i guess in this version of canon alt!amaya never died in doomworld??? it was probably nate instead. sorry nate
> 
> (and this fic's been going for exactly 2 months now, which feels pretty awesome considering it's my first chaptered fic)

**lancelot** created the group **question**

**lancelot** added **newandimproved** , **smoakandmirrors** , **speedygonzales** and 2 others to the group **question**

 

 **lancelot** : hey so is it incest if u make out with urself???

 **lancelot:** askin 4 a friend

 **newandimproved:** Why

 **snowqueen** : I was having a good day

 **irisbest** : wtf

 **speedygonzales** : we all kno the friend is u

 **smoakandmirrors** : no but i think it’s called selfcest??

 **smoakandmirrors** : also, wtf???

 **lancelot** : long story

 **lancelot** : wait here a sec

 **smoakandmirrors** : i feel like every one of sara’s tales start with ‘long story’

 **newandimproved** : They always have tbh

 

 **lancelot** added **saralance** and **amayajiwe** to the group **question**

 

 **lancelot** : guys this is future me and amaya from an alt reality

 **saralance** : sup past nerds

 **amayajiwe** : Hello

 **newandimproved** : I don’t even know where to begin to ask

 **snowqueen** : Isn’t it a bad idea to meet your past selves?

 **amayajiwe** : Yes

 **saralance** : super bad

 **lancelot** : i think times alredy starting to break apart

 **smoakandmirrors** : shouldn’t you guys maybe get on that???

 **lancelot** : thats what she said

 **lancelot** : and yh but we got time

 **amayajiwe** : I don’t think we do? Isn’t that the whole problem?

 **saralance** : nah we got time

 **speedygonzales** : wiat if ur future sara then y is ur chat name so plain

 **saralance** : up until like an hr ago i was evil future sara and she didnt do puns

 **speedygonzales** : noooOOOOO!!!

 **speedygonzales** : no pUNS!!!!

 **saralance** : also she killed people for damian darkh so

 **saralance** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **speedygonzales** : oh

 **irisbest** : you seem pretty blase about it

 **saralance** : ive got to the point where i just roll with it

 **saralance** : plus ur all alive now anyway

 **smoakandmirrors** : wait did you kill us???

 **saralance** : werent u guys talking about selfcest

 **speedygonzales** : u can c that swerve from space

 **newandimproved** : Yes we were and can we not because you’re both my sister and I would rather not think about it

 **lancelot** : cmon u mustve known id get round to this someday

 **speedygonzales** : tbh im surprised it wasnt sooner

 **amayajiwe** : What are you talking about?

 **irisbest** : sara wants to make out with herself

 **amayajiwe** : Oh

 **amayajiwe:** You can’t

 **saralance** : bc it will rip time apart?

 **saralance** : lol rip time

 **amayajiwe** : Well, yes

 **amayajiwe** : As well as the fact that it seems like it would be a disgusting abomination

 **lancelot** : damn amaya tell us how u rlly feel

 **saralance** : ur no fun amaya

 **amayajiwe** : But also you’re in a relationship?

 **lancelot** : u r?????

 **saralance** : i am????

 **amayajiwe:** Yes?

 **saralance** : OH

 **saralance** : im in a relationship

 **lancelot** : how can u be in a relationship ur from like a month into the future???

 **saralance** : a yr actually, and we had whole fake lives

 **snowqueen** : So you’re in a fake relationship?

 **saralance** : no its real i just didnt kno it was real until like 5 mins ago

 **speedygonzales** : ohhhhhh!!!

 **lancelot** : ???

 **speedygonzales:** ur with amaya!!

 **lancelot** : i am?!!?!

 **speedygonzales** : dude i didnt think u had that much game

 **saralance** : 1st of all i have way more game than anyone u have ever or will ever meet

 **irisbest** : and a bigger ego

 **saralance** : and 2nd she isnt with amaya im with amaya big difference

 **speedygonzales** : ur?? the same?? person??

 **lancelot** : sort of but no

 **saralance** : were 2 different people who hapen to hav the same face and personality an upbringing

 **newandimproved** : And spelling proficiency

 **lancelot** : and irritating big sister

 **smoakandmirrors** : okay but you know that makes no sense

 **lancelot** : its a timetraveller thing

 **irisbest** : I’m talking to barry and he says that makes no sense either

 **saralance** : ok but ur bf is barely a timetraveller

 **lancelot** : hes like a timehopper at best

 **saralance** : a timeskipper

 **lancelot** : a time _tripper_

 **irisbest** : it’s not fair for you guys to double time me

 **irisbest** : wait no I just realised what I said please don’t

 **lancelot** : too easy

 **saralance** : not as easy as it is 4 ur bf to screw up the timeline

 **lancelot** : ohhhhh!!!

 **saralance** : ohhhhhh!!

 **lancelot** : [ohhhh.mp3]

 **lancelot** : thats the whole team (minus rip) btw, we recorded it when we were drunk

 **amayajiwe** : I don’t remember that?

 **saralance** : no it was the og legends

 **lancelot** : b4 u and nate joined

 **saralance** : it was originally 4 vandal savage but also we sent it to the time masters b4 we blew them up

 **smoakandmirrors** : there’s something seriously wrong with your team

 **saralance** : y would u say that???

 **lancelot** : do u want me 2 tell ray u jst said that??? itd make him cry y do u wanna make ray cry???

 **smoakandmirrors** : ??????

 **smoakandmirrors** : wtf sara

 **lancelot** : what?

 **saralance** : what?

 **newandimproved** : Wow, that could get old fast

 **lancelot** : excuse u were the pinnacle of entertainment

 **saralance** : u ppl r Blessed to hav us

 **snowqueen** : I don’t think we are

 **amayajiwe** : I’m sorry to interrupt, but I think we might have to go now

 **smoakandmirrors** : is something happening???

 **lancelot** : timequake

 **speedygonzales** : wtf

 **saralance** : like earthquake but time

 **speedygonzales** : yh i figured it was an exclamation not question

 **saralance** : oh, well yh we have to go b4 time like destroys itsefl

 **saralance** : so bye guys

 **amayajiwe** : It was nice to speak to you all again

 **amayajiwe** : and it was a honor to fight by your sides

 

 **amayajiwe** has left the group

 

 **saralance** : i love u losers

 **saralance** : especially u laurel

 **saralance** : never stop fighting

 

 **saralance** has left the group

 

 **lancelot** : im gonna have to leave 4 a bit bc i kinda need to focus on not destroying reality

 **lancelot** : so ill c u guys topside i guess

**lancelot** has left the group

 

 **speedygonzales** : its not just me who thinks those goodbyes sounded pretty final right?

 **smoakandmirrors** : they’re from an alternate future

 **newandimproved** : What does that mean exactly?

 **snowqueen** : The only way this reality can stay intact is if that one never existed

 **newandimproved** : So I just watched my sister die again is what you’re saying

 **irisbest** : I’m so sorry guys but that’s how it works

 **snowqueen** : They must’ve known that the whole time they were talking to us

 **speedygonzales** : so they wasted their last few hrs talking to us

 **newandimproved** : Maybe not

 **speedygonzales** : what do u mean

 **smoakandmirrors** : well they knew right? they wouldn’t have been here if they didn’t think it was important

 **smoakandmirrors** : and this is sara we’re talking about

 **speedygonzales** : so?

 **newandimproved** : So I think this is exactly the way she’d want one of her last conversations to go

 

* * *

 

**saralance** created the group **sorry**

**saralance** added **smoakandmirrors** to the group **sorry**

**saralance:** felicity i dont know if u will ever read this

 **saralance** : but i love u and im so sorry

 **saralance** : and i promise ill make this right

 **smoakandmirrors** : ????????

 **smoakandmirrors** : hello????

 

 **smoakandmirrors** added **lancelot** to the group **sorry**

**smoakandmirrors** : sara????

 **lancelot** : yo whatsup

 **smoakandmirrors** : what is this??

 **lancelot** : whats what

 **smoakandmirrors** : look up the chat

 **lancelot** : ok

 **lancelot** : wtf??

 **lancelot** : i didnt write this??

 **smoakandmirrors** : do you think its from alt!future you?

 **lancelot** : oh

 **lancelot** : it might be from b4 she travelled back in time

 **smoakandmirrors** : she didn’t answer me when i asked if she killed any of us

 **lancelot** : i dont remember any of her life if thats what ur asking

 **lancelot** : but she said her and amaya were vigilante hunters

 **lancelot** : and if theres anyone i kno that would still end up as a vigilante even after realitys been messed with, its u

 **smoakandmirrors** : oh

 **lancelot** : fliss??

 **lancelot** : ????

 **smoakandmirrors** : i think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me

 **lancelot** : shut up nerd

 **smoakandmirrors** : love you too

 **lancelot** : ew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i know the fate of reality was hanging in the balance but in what world does sara lance meet herself and not flirt with herself come on guys
> 
> (also, len would never have killed mick, but whatever)
> 
> also also, since people were asking, nyssa's definitely going to join this, as well as maggie and lena (and i know that the sg fandom's been pretty argumentative (if that's the right word?) about ships lately but lena will be in a relationship with kara? if that's okay? sorry if that's not your cup of tea)


	12. in which everyone is busy and the legends are just doing their best okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka aruba

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like i should've added a statement to the start of this saying that i'm pretty much much late all the time. so yeah, sorry about that. again.
> 
> (also, over 300 kudos, sweet!)

**lancelot** has created the group **nottoworryanyonebut**

 

 **lancelot** added **smoakandmirrors** to the group **nottoworryanyonebut**

 

 **lancelot** : hey fliss can i ask u some questions

 **smoakandmirrors:** oh no

 **smoakandmirrors** : what have you done to the timeline now???

 **lancelot** : what????? we havent done anything

 **smoakandmirrors** : uh huh

 **lancelot** : hey so dinosaurs are still extinct right

 

 **smoakandmirrors** has left the group

 

 **lancelot** : rude

 

 **lancelot** added **speedygonzales** to the group **nottoworryanyonebut**

**lancelot** : hey speedy fliss is ignoring me

 **speedygonzales** : yh u kno its not personal felicitys just been pretty angry lately

 **lancelot** : what????? since when????

 **speedygonzales** : since she had a massive argument w/ ollie and ended up fighting the team and argus???

 **speedygonzales** : and then her and ollie got locked in the base and nearly died???

 **lancelot** : right

 **speedygonzales** : so yh were kinda busy rn

 **lancelot** : but i have important things to tlk abt!!!

 **speedygonzales** : yh im sure u do but seriously were really busy

 **speedygonzales** : actually it wud be helpful if u guys came here and helped us out???

 **lancelot** : i cant rite now

 **speedygonzales** : u messed up the timeline again huh?

 **lancelot** : maybe

 **speedygonzales** : uve fixed it b4 im sure itll be fine

 **lancelot** : thats not rlly helpful

 **speedygonzales** : maybe go ask the other lance

 **lancelot** : but laurel will jst do her whol disappointed routine

 **speedygonzales** : srry dude

 

 **speedygonzales** has left the group

 

 **lancelot** added **newandimproved** to the group **nottoworryanyonebut**

 

 **lancelot** : hey sis its been ages

 **newandimproved** : What do you want?

 **lancelot** : maybe i jst want to tlk to my beautiful sis who i love

 **newandimproved** : Wow

 **newandimproved** : Hey, I don’t have a disappointed routine!!

 **lancelot** : only u wud read up the chat ur such a lawyer

 **lancelot** : and yh u do

 **newandimproved** : Sara, I wish I could help but everything’s pretty hectic right now

 **newandimproved** : The DA being unmasked as a serial killer means we have to go over all of his old cases

 **lancelot** : wait what?????

 **newandimproved** : ????

 **newandimproved** : My boss turned out to be Prometheus, remember??

 **lancelot** : oh, right

 **newandimproved** : And the whole office is under scrutiny

 **newandimproved** : That’s not even getting into everything on the vigilante side of things

 **newandimproved** : Besides, like Thea says, this happens to you guys a lot and you always fix it

 **lancelot** : ughhhh

 **newandimproved** : I believe in you

 **lancelot** : wow now everythings magically fixed thanx 4 that belief laurel

 **newandimproved** : Okay now I’m disappointed

 **lancelot** : told u

 

 **newandimproved** has left the group

 

 **lancelot** added **thirdtimesthecharm** to the group **nottoworryanyonebut**

**lancelot** : hey dinah could i ask u some things???

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : okay? you’ll have to be quick though we’re pretty busy

 **lancelot** : hey so i kno this probably sounds weird but

 **lancelot** : when was the convo w/ my and amaya alt future selves???

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : about a month and a bit ago maybe?

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : why?

 **lancelot** : bc it was ~20mins ago 4 me

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : you’re a time traveller though right?

 **lancelot** : yh but gideon should still sync my timeline relative to urs

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : oh

 **lancelot** : time isnt working properly

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : well I wish I could help with whatever the hell that means but this really isn’t my area

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : and we’re kind of swamped right now

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : I’d suggest talking to team flash but I think they’re busier than us right now

 **lancelot** : well yh i was gonna ask them 1st

 **lancelot** : but team flash hates me 4 making fun of them all the time

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : I’m pretty sure they don’t hate you?

 **thirdtimethecharm** : and I don’t think they’d be that petty anyway

 **lancelot** : i would

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : yeah I figured

 **thirdtimesthecharm:** I really do have to go now, you might just have to chance it with team flash

 **lancelot** : thanx i guess

**thirdtimesthecharm** has left the group

 

 **lancelot** added **irisbest** to the group **nottoworryanyonebut**

**lancelot** : hey iris can i talk to u 4 a sec

 **lancelot** : its abt the timeline

 **irisbest** : I’d love to help but we’re pretty busy atm, what with trying to stop myself from dying and everything

 **lancelot** : of course, sorry

 **irisbest** : and trying to stop 2 of my best friends from killing us all

 **lancelot** : wait caitlins killer frost now???

 **irisbest** : yes??? has been for a while now

 **lancelot** : right, yeah

 **lancelot** : wait and who else is trying to kill u???

 **lancelot** : wait no dont tell me!!!

 **irisbest** : ???

 **irisbest** : okay??

 **lancelot** : long story

 **irisbest** : right

 **irisbest** : besides, you seriously want my help after all the times you made fun of us for messing up the timeline??

 **lancelot** : but u guys do it so often!!!

 **irisbest** : yeah no

 **lancelot** : cmon iris ur meant to be better than me

 **irisbest** : I am but that doesn’t make me any more able to help you rn

 **irisbest** : can’t you use time travel to just ask for help when we’ve got through this?

 **lancelot** : well i mean i could

 **irisbest** : great! I’ll see you then

 **lancelot** : wait!!!

 **lancelot:** what abt jesse, is she w/ u??

 **irisbest** : you know we can’t get a hold of her rn

 **lancelot** : sorry i forgot

 **irisbest** : it’s okay, we’ll just catch up later

 **lancelot** : sure lets do that

**irisbest** has left the group

 

 **lancelot** added **snowqueen** to the group **nottoworryanyonebut**

 

 **lancelot** : hey so im guessing this is probably a long shot but time is maybe broken and i could use ur help

 **snowqueen** : Oh I’d love to

 **lancelot** : wait rlly??

 **snowqueen** : No

 **lancelot** : turning evil rlly helped u w/ sarcasm huh

 **snowqueen** : Did you honestly think I’d care?

 **lancelot** : idk maybe??

 **lancelot** : i mean time is sometjing u kinda need

 **lancelot** : and apparently every1 is super busy 2day

 **lancelot** : lol super busy

 **snowqueen** : Well you were wrong

 **snowqueen** : You can destroy the whole of reality for all I care

 **lancelot** : u dont mean that

 **snowqueen** : Don’t tell me what I mean

 **lancelot** : ur right i shouldnt have said that

 **snowqueen** : Either fix it yourself or find someone who hasn’t grown tired of your constant mistakes

 **lancelot** : ok 1st of all: rude

 **lancelot** : 2nd: thats not actually a bad idea

 **snowqueen** : I’m so glad I could help

 **lancelot** : 3rd: im not gonna hold this against u bc i kno ur in a lot of pain rn

**snowqueen** has left the group

 

 **lancelot** deleted the group **nottoworryanyonebut**

 

 **lancelot** created the group **hey**

**lancelot** added **puppydanvers** , **agentdanvers** and **betterthanyou** to the group **hey**

**lancelot** : hey guys who wants to do a fun quiz abt history???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i figured that the only way the others' phones could sync with the legends' phones was if gideon was controlling the connection, and that the legends _breaking time_ would make it harder for her to do so.
> 
> while sara is trying to get help from her group, len, mick, jax and ray are doing the same with their groups, with len in the snart family chat (which is _meant_ to be just the snarts and mick, but cisco and caitlin keep being added and removed every few days), mick in the rogues chat, jax in the young superheroes chat and ray in the team tech chat. obviously they're all like ??? throughout the conversations but ray is like ?????? because when did lily stein get added and since when does jesse live on earth-3 and who the hell are winn schott and lena luthor and why are they here????


	13. in which team flash and the legends are on radio silence and there is an intruder (sort of)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka hey Lena!

 

**smoakandmirrors** : guys has anyone heard from sara???

**smoakandmirrors** : because i keep trying to get in touch with ray and he isn’t answering

**smoakandmirrors** : so i tried sara and neither is she or amaya

**newandimproved** : I haven’t heard from her since she introduced us to her alternate self, why?

**speedygonzales** : i havent seen her either

**newandimproved** : This is the legends we’re talking about, you know they get in and out of trouble very quickly

**smoakandmirrors** : yh which is good for them but not good for me rn

**smoakandmirrors** : and i can’t get cisco either

**smoakandmirrors:** or anyone on team flash actually

**speedygonzales** : yh theyre busy

**smoakandmirrors** : how do you know???

**speedygonzales** : i told u we were gonna meet up w/ all the other young ppl in this game

**speedygonzales** : and we hav a groupchat now

**speedygonzales** : and jesse and wally have been telling me whats going down in central and its p heavy

**speedygonzales** : i dont kno if theyd want me to tell u guys

**speedygonzales** : sorry

**newandimproved** : No we understand

**smoakandmirrors** : great

**smoakandmirrors** : just look at this

**smoakandmirrors** : [001.jpeg]

**smoakandmirrors** : i need to deactivate that very quickly without blowing us all up

**smoakandmirrors** : and i don’t have a clue and i figured ray or cisco could help

**newandimproved** : What about Curtis?

**smoakandmirrors** : curtis is on what we hope is a date with paul and he’s turned his phone off

**newandimproved** : I’m guessing Jesse’s busy too?

**speedygonzales** : i think so yh, sry

**puppydanvers** : Hi, I don’t mean to interrupt but maybe I could help?

**speedygonzales** : jesus i forgot u guys were even here!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : no kara that’s fine, i’ll take help from anyone right now

**smoakandmirrors** : …that sounded worse than i meant it to

**puppydanvers** : No it’s okay, and I’m not actually Kara?

**puppydanvers** : She left her phone on the table and it kept beeping, so I looked down at it and saw your picture

**puppydanvers** : I’m really sorry for assuming, I can go if you want?

**smoakandmirrors** : honestly no i really need help and from what i know of kara she won’t mind

**speedygonzales** : so who r u exactly

**puppydanvers** : I’m a friend of Kara’s

**speedygonzales** : well that rly narrows it down

**puppydanvers** : I’m Lena

**newandimproved** : Hi Lena, it’s nice to meet you, I’m Laurel

**puppydanvers** : It’s nice to meet you too

**speedygonzales** : thea

**smoakandmirrors** : yh and i’m felicity, can you help?

**puppydanvers** : I think so, but I’ll need more pictures

**smoakandmirrors** : [002.jpeg]

**smoakandmirrors** : [003.jpeg]

**smoakandmirrors** : [004.jpeg]

**smoakandmirrors** : [005.jpeg]

**smoakandmirrors** : is that enough???

**puppydanvers** : hi it’s kara!!! lena says she might have enough to work with

**puppydanvers:** she’s gonna make some virtual mock ups to try and see how to dismantle it

**puppydanvers** : and then some other technical stuff I didn’t really understand, but it sounded impressive

**smoakandmirrors** : tell her thank you!!!! and also within the next 20 mins would be awesome

**puppydanvers** : she said she’ll try

**smoakandmirrors** : i mean i don’t mean to hurry her but anything past maybe 25 mins and we die

**smoakandmirrors** : so actually yh chop chop

**puppydanvers** : actually she’s going to make a group so you two can work with less distractions, is that okay?

**smoakandmirrors** : yes!!!

**speedygonzales** : bye felicity dont blow up

**speedygonzales** : so

**speedygonzales** : lena

**puppydanvers** : no it’s kara now, I took my phone back

**speedygonzales** : wow

**puppydavnvers** : ???

**speedygonzales** : damnit i need sara here to make innuendos w/

**puppydanvers** : oh! no, lena and I are just friends

**speedygonzales** : friends that u leave ur secret groupchat in full view of????

**speddygonzales** : unless she knows already

**puppydanvers** : she doesn’t

**speedygonzales** : friends that u leave ur secret groupchat in full view of????

**puppydanvers** : in my defence I needed to go the toilet and I forgot that my phone was unlocked and that I’d opened the chat

**speedygonzales** : thats a bad defence

**speedygonzales** : u wanna weigh in on this councillor?

**newandimproved** : Counsellor

**speedygonzales** : u knew what i meant

**newandimproved** : And yeah, that was a bad defence, sorry Kara

**puppydanvers** : are you a lawyer???

**newandimproved** : Yes?

**puppydanvers** : isn’t your other day job kind of illegal???

**newandimproved** : It’s more of a night time hobby, and I’m taking a break anyway

**speedygonzales** : isnt ur sister like a secret agent???

**puppydanvers** : exactly, she’s licensed by the government

**speedygonzales** : does she have

**speedygonzales** : *a licence to kill*

**puppydanvers** : yes?

**speedygonzales** : damn, hardcore

**puppydanvers:** so do the rest of you have law abiding jobs???

**newandimproved** : Pretty much

**speedygonzales:** nope im unemployed

**newandimproved** : Since when????

**speedygonzales** : uh like 3 hours ago

**speedygonzales** : i was thinking of bringing it up but felicity kept freaking out so

**newandimproved** : What happened???

**speedygonzales** : its a long story and i dont come off as too great in it

**speedygonzales** : but i quit, i wasnt fired

**speedygonzales:** its complicated

**speedygonzales** : i’ll tell u later

**newandimproved** : Okay

**speedygonzales** : no offence kara

**puppydanvers** : no it’s fine!!!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : guys we’re finished!!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : nobody’s going to blow up today!!!

**puppydanvers** : well done team!!!

**puppydanvers** : do you guys mind if I add lena to this now?

**speedygonzales** : yh sure

**smoakandmirrors** : i mean she did just save a good chunk of the city

 

**puppydanvers** added **extrakale** to the group **P-A-R-T-WHY???**

**newandimproved** : Oh god I forgot it was still called that

 

**newandimproved** changed the group name to **thatwasabadnamesara**

**smoakandmirrors** changed the group name to **shesnotevenheregodamnit**

**smoakandmirrors** : aren't you meant to be the mature one?????

**speedygonzales** changed the group name to **shedoesntevengohere!!!**

**speedygonzales** : couldnt not

**smoakandmirrors** : no that’s fair

**speedygonzales** : hey so anyway y r u named after a vegetable????

**smoakandmirrors** : yh i was meaning to ask that

**puppydanvers:** bc she’s the worst

**extrakale** : Because I’d rather not die before I’m forty

**puppydanvers** : the worst

 

**extrakale** changed their name to **theboss**

 

**theboss** : Better?

**puppydanvers** : I guess

**speedygonzales** : now y this name??

**theboss** : I’m the CEO of my company

**speedygonzales** : damn….

**speedygonzales** : hey do u hav any tips on how not to lose ur company????

**speedygonzales** : asking 4 a friend

**smoakandmirrors** : i hate you

**theboss** : Should I ask?

**newandimproved** : Probably not

**theboss** : So do you all work with Kara’s sister?

**puppydanvers** : yes

**speedygonzales** : sort of

**smoakandmirrors** : no

**theboss** : What?

**speedygonzales** : in a way, dont we all work together

**speedygonzales** : like arent we all connected in some way

**theboss:** I guess?

**puppydanvers** : a friend of theirs was passing through national city and he helped me out so I owed him a favour

**puppydanvers** : and when I went to repay that favour I met all of these guys

**puppydanvers** : and we’ve just kept in touch

**puppydanvers** : some of them work in the same field as alex, but they don’t technically work together

**theboss** : That makes a lot more sense

**newandimproved** : Yeah just ignore Thea, she tries to make everything into a conspiracy

**speedygonzales** : oh i wonder who i picked that up from

**speedygonzales** : maybe that lawyer i lived w/ 4 a while who sometimes sat up til 2am watching the history channel

**newandimproved** : Once

**speedygonzales** : yh once a week

**theboss** : You guys don’t really stay on a topic for too long do you?

**smoakandmirrors** : you’re lucky only half of us are here today, usually it’s just a mess

**puppydanvers** : speaking of, where is everyone???

**smoakandmirrors** : no idea, that’s why i was panicking

**theboss** : I could maybe try and help with that, if you wanted?

**theboss** : If you tell where they were last I could see if I have any people down there who could see if there’s something going on

**smoakandmirrors** : oh no that’s cool!!!! i’m not really worried

**smoakandmirrors** : this happens a lot

**speedygonzales** : yh theyre kind of flaky

**speedygonzales** : i mean ok yh some of them arent

**speedygonzales** : but some of them r

**newandimproved** : It’s okay, we all know who you’re talking about

**speedygonzales** : maybe i wasnt

**smoakandmirrors** : _really_

**speedygonzales** : ok yh i was tlking abt sara

**newandimproved** : My little sister, in case you were wondering

**theboss** : Oh, thank you for explaining

**theboss** : Are you sure I can’t help?

**newandimproved** : Yes, but thanks for asking

**theboss** : Well then I have to go, I have a meeting in ten minutes and I don’t want to be late

**speedygonzales** : wow a big business meeting, i wonder what thats like

**speedygonzales** : if only other ppl here knew how that felt

**smoakandmirrors** : seriously thea????

**speedygonzales** : yes i am seriously thea

**smoakandmirrors** : oh my godddd

**newandimproved** : You should probably leave now, while they’re distracted

**theboss** : Goodbye, it was nice meeting you all

**smoakandmirrors** : thanks for the help!!!!!

**theboss** : Anytime

**newandimproved** : And it was nice meeting you too

**speedygonzales** : ditto

**theboss** has left the group

**newandimproved** : I like her

**puppydanvers** : yeah she’s a great friend

**smoakandmirrors** : okay so friend or _friend_??????

**speedygonzales** : see????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: lena 100% knows that kara's supergirl and figures that the others in the group are probably involved in some way, though she obviously hasn't guessed that they're superheroes from a different universe


	14. in which sara lance tries to fix things before they happen and sometimes things need to happen before they can be fixed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka aruba pt2

**lancelot** created the group **hey**

**lancelot** added **smoakandmirrors** to the group **hey**

 

**smoakandmirrors** : sara!!! are you okay????

**lancelot** : yh??? y????

**smoakandmirrors** : we were trying to get a hold of you an dthe other legends and we couldn’t reach you

**lancelot** : its a long story and ill explain it later

**lancelot** : and actually i was hoping to tlk to u

**smoakandmirrors** : oh okay

**lancelot** : r u ok?????

**smoakandmirrors** : yes?

**lancelot** : r u sure?????

**smoakandmirrors** : have you been talking to oliver???

**lancelot** : no i havent tlked to any1 y

**lancelot** : is this something to tlk abt

**lancelot** : *is there something to tlk abt

**smoakandmirrors** : wow never thought i’d see the day you’d correct your own spelling

**lancelot** : stop deflecting

**smoakandmirrors** : i’m not

**lancelot** : so nothings happening lately????

**lancelot** : no new friends? enemies? partners?

**smoakandmirrors** : nope

**lancelot** : well if ur just gonna lie to me then we might as well not even tlk

**smoakandmirrors** : i thought you said you didn’t talk to anyone

**lancelot** : i havent but i kno u, u make like 10 new friends a week

**smoakandmirrors** : no i don’t

**lancelot** : and oliver makes a new enemy every time he opens his mouth lbr

**smoakandmirrors** : okay fine, i’ve made some new friends

**lancelot** : oooooh spill

**smoakandmirrors** : they’re just this group of hackers

**lancelot** : awwww u found ur ppl

**smoakandmirrors** : well yeah

**lancelot** : r u making the old crew jealous

**smoakandmirrors** : not exactly

**lancelot** : explain

**smoakandmirrors** : i guess they don’t really like their methods

**lancelot** : and wbu???

**smoakandmirrors:** what about me

**lancelot** : do u like their methods? ur the best judge of character i kno

**smoakandmirrors** : i think they’re necessary

**lancelot** : thats not what i asked

**smoakandmirrors** : if i wasn’t comfortable with them then i wouldn’t work with them

**lancelot** : ok, i trust u

**smoakandmirrors** : thanks sara

**lancelot** : k and what abt bad guys???

**smoakandmirrors:** there’s a new bad guy in town, his name is prometheus and it’s pretty bad sara

**smoakandmirrors** : i think we might be in trouble

**lancelot** : id offer to help but i dont think i can

**smoakandmirrors** : i know, which is why i hadn’t brought it up before

**lancelot** : im sorry

**smoakandmirrors** : sara you’re protecting the whole of time, i get it

**lancelot** : i guess, i still wish i could help more

**smoakandmirrors** : i know

**lancelot** : anyway smoak

**lancelot** : i asked u abt 3 things and dont think i havent noticed u havent answered the last 1

**smoakandmirrors** : i had a boyfriend

**lancelot** : had???

**smoakandmirrors** : prometheus used oliver to murder him

**lancelot** : shit fliss, im so sorry, next time tell me to jst shut up

**smoakandmirrors** : it’s okay, i didn’t love him

**smoakandmirrors** : he loved me though

**lancelot** : r u expecting me to tell u that ur a bad person for not loving a guy back

**lancelot** : or that u shouldnt feel sad abt his death jst bc u didnt love him

**lancelot:** or that u should feel worse abt his death bc u were dating him bc im not gonna do any of those

**lancelot** : and if u ever think i would do any of those things then i will travel to 2017

**lancelot** : and i will punch u in the face free of charge

**smoakandmirrors** : thanks sara

**lancelot** : ur welcome felicity

**lancelot** : ur not a bad person fliss and u never could be

**smoakandmirrors** : you know i love you right?

**lancelot** : ugh fliss y do u hav to bring that mushy crap into this theres no need

**smoakandmirrors** : you literally did it first

**lancelot** : i just want u to be happy

**lancelot** : and i want u to be happy abt being happy

**smoakandmirrors** : bc that’s not mushy at all

**lancelot** : w/e

**smoakandmirrors** : and i don’t know how i feel right now

**smoakandmirrors** : kind of adrift i guess

**smoakandmirrors** : and maybe a bit isolated?

**smoakandmirrors** : i mean the others try but sometimes i’ve gotta have things not related to vigilantism you know?

**smoakandmirrors** : but i don’t know that i’d be able to date a civilian again

**lancelot** : _hmmmmm_

**smoakandmirrors** : what??????

**smoakandmirrors** : sara??????

**smoakandmirrors** : _sara no middle name lance you better not be trying to set me up with someone_

**lancelot** : well not now

**smoakadnmirrors** : thank god

**lancelot** : but 1 day

**smoakandmirrors** : no

**lancelot** : when u least expect it

**smoakandmirrors** : you’re making it worse!!!

**lancelot** : u didnt say no

**smoakandmirrors** : i said it like 3 messages ago!!!!!!

**lancelot** : i dunno i dont remember that

**smoakandmirrors** : i really hate you sometimes

**lancelot** : love u 2 fliss

**smoakandmirrors** : ughhhh

**lancelot** : kthxbye

**smoakandmirrors** : where are you going???

**lancelot** : gotta tlk 2 some1 else

**lancelot** : stay safe ok

**smoakandmirrors** : and you

 

**lancelot** deleted the group **hey**

 

**lancelot** created the group **hey**

**lancelot** added **snowqueen** to the group **hey**

 

**lancelot** : sup snow

**snowqueen** : Hello?

**lancelot** : so i kno this probably seems out of the blue, but r u ok???

**snowqueen** : Not particularly, but I’m dealing with it

**snowqueen** : Why are you asking?

**lancelot** : sometimes it feels like i cant rlly help u guys out bc im not there

**lancelot** : so im jst seeing if theres anything i can do

**snowqueen** : There isn’t really

**lancelot** : even talk??? bc i kno its not the same but i did have the whole need to kill ppl thing so

**snowqueen** : Except you didn’t have a soul

**lancelot** : right bc once they got my soul back everything was perfect right

**snowqueen** : You were cursed, that wasn’t your fault

**lancelot** : oh

**snowqueen** : What?

**lancelot** : u think this is ur fault

**snowqueen** : Of course it’s my fault, I’m the one doing these things

**snowqueen** : And I’m the one who’s going to hurt people

**lancelot** : but u dont kno thats gonna happen 4 sure

**lancelot:** and even if u did

**lancelot** : it still doesnt mean it would be ur fault

**snowqueen** : So you’re saying I shouldn’t take responsibility for my actions?

**lancelot** : not if u cant control those actions!!!

**snowqueen** : But it is me Sara, I am controlling those actions

**lancelot** : yh bc it rlly seems like this person im tlking to rn is some1 who wants to hurt ppl

**snowqueen** : I don’t want to hurt anyone

**lancelot** : do u want me to read that back 2 u

**snowqueen** : I mean I don’t want to right now, but I do when I’m like that

**lancelot** : like what? in pain? alone with no help?

**snowqueen** : I don’t need help, I need a cure

**lancelot** : ur v stubborn u kno

**lancelot** : u remind me a lot of laurel except laur turns her destruction inward

**snowqueen** : I’ve tried

**lancelot** : thats not even close to the point

**lancelot** : u cant just hold all that stuff in ok

**snowqueen** : So what should I do Sara? Let go of it all? Turn it on to everyone else?

**lancelot** : yes to the 1st and hell, maybe yes to the 2nd

**lancelot** : uve dealt w/ every1 elses shit maybe they should deal w/ urs

**lancelot** : look im sorry if this comes off a preachy

**snowqueen** : A little

**lancelot** : but ur mental health is important caitlin

**snowqueen** : Not when it’s affecting everybody else’s physical health

**lancelot** : and what makes their health more important than yours???

**lancelot** : ur mental health is just as important as every1 elses physical health

**lancelot** : maybe even more, since if it wasnt 4 u then theyd all be dead 10 times over

**snowqueen** : And maybe they’ll be dead anyway because of me

**lancelot** : were not gonna get anywhere r we

**snowqueen** : No

**lancelot** : i jst wanted to help u

**snowqueen** : You’re not

**lancelot** : no im not

**lancelot** : ok maybe ur right and this is inevitable and its gonna happen

**lancelot** : so new plan

**lancelot** : after this is over

**lancelot** : and it will be over caitlin, ur too strong 4 it not to be

**lancelot** : u hav 2 keep in touch ok

**lancelot** : im not saying u need to like join the legends or go on like regular nights out or anything

**lancelot** : jst a message every now and agsin so i kno ur still alive

**lancelot** : bc the guilt is eating u up and u havent even done anything yet

**lancelot** : and im worried what will happen once u get back

**lancelot** : so please caitlin

**snowqueen** : I don’t even know that I’ll be able to come back

**lancelot** : then jst pretend u will, please

**snowqueen** : Then okay, if everything somehow turns out okay

**snowqueen** : I’ll keep in touch

**lancelot** : thank u

**snowqueen** : Sara?

**lancelot** : yh?

**snowqueen** : I appreciate what you’re trying to do, even though I don’t think it will do anything

**lancelot** : i kno, and i understand where ur coming from even though i think ur underestimating urself

**lancelot** : and i kno that were not as close as u r w/ cisco or iris or barry but ur still my friend

**lancelot:** and i need u 2 kno that id do anything to make sure ur safe and well

**snowqueen** : I do

**snowqueen** : Thank you

**lancelot** : i jst wish i could do more

**snowqueen** : I know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is both late and sad, sorry for both. but hey, you get two!


	15. in which alex danvers is not adorable and james olsen’s ears are burning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka hey Maggie!

**lancelot** : sup guys

**puppydanvers** : are you all alright??? felicity was trying to get a hold of you last time we spoke

**lancelot** : yh i spoke to fliss its cool

**lancelot:** tho i doubt any of the star crew will show upbc theyre p busy

**lancelot** : idk whats up w/ team flash tho

**irisbest** : we’re not bad, I guess

**quicksort** : a lot’s been happening, but we’re handling it

**quicksort** : what about you guys? how’s your earth holding up?

**puppydanvers** : I got fired and my friend was chased off a building

**quicksort** : oh

**puppydanvers** : I caught her though, she’s okay, and I’m going to try working from home

**puppydanvers** : plus some other things happened that I doubt alex wants to talk about

**agentdanvers** : nope

**lancelot** : what about lane??

**agentdanvers** : she wasn’t even in the city

**puppydanvers:** she’s on vacation

**puppydanvers** : she sent me this

**puppydanvers** : [lucyholiday.png]

**lancelot** : ok 1st i retract my statement abt u being the hottest girl ive ever seen danvers bc damn shes hot

**agentdanvers** : thanks

**lancelot** : and 2nd, WHO IS T H A T??????

**puppydanvers** : who?

**lancelot** : THAT GUY STANDING NEXT TO LANE

**puppydanvers** : oh that’s my friend james, he’s kind of my ex? and maybe lucy’s ex? and also my boss

**puppydanver** **s** : well, ex boss

**lancelot** : IS HE SEEING ANYONE????

**puppydanvers** : I think he’s with lucy? or maybe winn?

**puppydanvers** : or maybe both actually?

**puppydanvers** : winn’s my best friend btw and kind of james’ sidekick

**puppydanvers** : james is a vigilante and winn helps him

**lancelot** : so hot and a hero and open to an open relationship; did u mean my dream date

**lancelot** : west i need u 2 tell ramon that hes no longer the most beautiful man ive ever seen

**irisbest** : no

**agentdanvers** : do you just rank people by attractiveness??

**lancelot** : doesnt everybody???

**quicksort** : no???

**puppydanvers** : I didn’t know you liked men too

**lancelot** : [gettinbi.mp3]

**lancelot** : ^^^me

**lancelot** : please tell me u have crazy ex girlfriend on ur earth????

**puppydanvers** : we do, I love it!!!

**puppydanvers** : I didn’t think it would be the kind of thing you’d watch though?

**lancelot** : oh its not usually, gideon recommended it 2 me

**agentdanvers** : gideon your ai???

**lancelot** : yep, ray got her into it and she wanted more ppl to watch it with

**agentdanvers** : ?????

**lancelot** : did i break ur sister again

**puppydanvers** : probably

**quicksort** : what’s it about?

**irisbest** : it’s a musical comedy, I think you’d like it a lot

**irisbest** : you and wally should watch it together

**puppydanvers** : who’s wally???

**irisbest** : he’s a speedster that goes by the name kid flash

**irisbest** : and he’s my little brother and jesse’s boyfriend

**irisbest** : they’re very cute together

**quicksort:** thanks!

**lancelot** : oh man u guys r that sort of couple huh

**irisbest** : oh they’re the worst

**quicksort** : you’ve seen you and barry right??

**puppydanvers** : you’re with barry???

**irisbest** : you didn’t know???

**puppydanvers** : no!!!

**lancelot:** r u sure??? i figured their love could be heard through the universes

**irisbest** : _wow_

**lancelot** : u guys r nauseating

**lancelot:** fliss says its got even worse since u guys got engaged

**puppydanvers** : YOU’RE ENGAGED?????

**irisbest** : yes!!! not that long ago actually

**irisbest** : we haven’t set a date yet but you’re all invited, if you can make it

**irisbest** : lucy included, plus whoever else you’d like to bring

**irisbest** : barry said he made some friends over there

**lancelot** : bring james please

**puppydanvers:** congratulations iris!!! we’ll be there!!!

**puppydanvers** : and uh yeah I probably will

**lancelot** : _y e s_

**puppydanvers** : alex???

**agentdanvers** : yeah of course

**irisbest** : are you okay???

**agentdanvers** : well congrats on your engagement first

**agentdanvers** : and I was just wondering, do you mind if I add someone to the group?

**puppydanver** : omg!!!!

**puppydanvers** : alex wants to invite her girlfriend!!!!

**agentdanvers** : seriously kara??

**puppydanvers** : sorry I’m just so excited!!

**irisbest** : so she knows???

**agentdanvers** : yeah, she figured it out

**agentdanvers** : not like it’s hard

**puppydanvers** : nobody else has!!!

**agentdanvers** : ???

**agentdanvers** : james, cat, the whole of the deo, m’gann

**puppydanvers** : kal el told james and cat’s a reporter and used to be my boss and m’gann is psychic!!!

**puppydanvers** : and the deo knows because you keep calling me by my real name there!!!!!!

**agentdanvers** : well anyway, maggie knows now, so I thought that maybe she could come meet all of you?

**agentdanvers** : if that’s okay?

**lancelot** : aww ur adorable

**agentdanvers** : no I’m not

**quicksort** : and she knows about alternate earths too?

**agentdanvers** : yeah we talked it out

**puppydanvers** : I helped

**agentdanvers** : you really didn’t

**agentdanvers** : but yeah, she knows everything

**lancelot** : go on then danvers, we dont bite

**irisbest** : don’t you dare

**lancelot** : i mean yh i do

**irisbest** : I said don’t!!!!

**lancelot** : im a force of nature u cant hold me back

**lancelot** : come on danvers!!!

**agentdanvers** : well here goes

 

**agentdanvers** added **rideordie** to the group **shedoesntevengohere!!!**

**lancelot** : ??? were yall having a mean girls party when i was gone?????

**rideordie:** …that’s a weird first sentence to see

**agentdanvers:** yeah that’s kind of the whole tone of these conversations

**agentdanvers** : you don’t really have to stay if you don’t want to

**lancelot** : well damn danvers just shoot me next time

**rideordie:** aww babe no i want to meet your friends

**lancelot** : _a d o r a b l e_

**agentdanvers** : no I’m not

**lancelot** : yh u r

**rideordie:** yeah she is

**rideordie:** anyway, it’s nice to meet you all

**rideordie:** whoever you all are

**lancelot** : wells, the _l i s t_

**irisbest** : you really like spaces today huh

**lancelot** : well we just defeated the legion of doom and i need to get my dramatic emphasis from somewhere else now

**puppydanvers** : legion of doom???

**lancelot** : loooong story

**quicksort** : here you go maggie

**quicksort** : [introductions.xls]

**rideordie:** thanks

**quicksort** : and it’s a spreadsheet technically, not a list

**lancelot** : the _s p r e a d s h e e t_

**irisbest** : I can’t believe you won’t take the time to use punctuation but you just typed that out

**lancelot** : well how else am i menat to send a text, by thought?????

**irisbest** : you live on time travelling ship from the future, I’m sure you’d find a way

**rideordie:** she lives on a what now

**agentdanvers** : I know right??

**lancelot** : damnit west u stole my thunder

**lancelot** : so yh im a timetraveller and im awesome and it would sound better if someone else hadn’t told u 1st, _west_

**rideordie:** i mean, it’s still pretty damn cool

**irisbest** : there, is your ego soothed now

**lancelot** : no

**rideordie** : wow so there’s a lot of you in this huh

**irisbest** : normally yes

**lancelot** : amayas not here bc she thinks were idiots

**quicksort** : ???

**irisbest** : excuse me

**lancelot** : bc she thinks me and speedy r idiots

**irisbest** : better

**lancelot** : and theres kind of a lot going down in star rn so theyre not here

**lancelot** : tho i dont kno where snow is???

**lancelot:** guys is she ok??

**quicksort** : I don’t know

**irisbest** : she went home

**irisbest** : she did something

**irisbest** : well, killer frost did

**rideordie:** who?

**quicksort** : caitlin’s alter ego

**irisbest** : kind of

**rideordie:** alter ego? does she have DID?

**irisbest** : well she won’t go to a psychiatrist so who even knows

**irisbest** : sorry I’m just worried about her

**irisbest** : I don’t know what she’d want me to tell you about it though

**rideordie:** no of course, sorry, i didn’t mean to pry. i’m just used to interrogating people, i guess

**irisbest** : I’m a reporter and my dad’s a cop, I get it

**rideordie:** you’re a reporter?? even though cops and reporters are natural enemies??

**puppydanvers** : hey!!!

**rideordie** : sorry kara, it’s the way of the world

**irisbest** : well I wanted to be a cop but dad didn’t want me to

**irisbest:** so I just picked the next job that was most likely to get me onto crime scenes

**lancelot** : besides, if u want to tlk abt natural enemies, my dad used to be the chief of police and my sister was the da

**rideordie** : oh wow

**lancelot** : shes the ada now but hes like a politician or something???

**rideordie** : from cop to politician??

**lancelot** : weird career trajectories are kind of a family trait

**rideordie** : do i want to ask??

**irisbest** : probably not

**lancelot** : def not considering ur a cop

**smoakandmirrors** : guys

**lancelot** : omg ur back!!!

**irisbest** : are you guys okay???

**smoakandmirrors** : no

**smoakandmirrors** : adrian chase is prometheus

**irisbest** : wait how do I know that name?

**newandimproved** : He’s the DA

**irisbest** : oh my god

**smoakandmirrors** : yep

**rideordie:** who’s prometheus, if you don’t mind me asking

**speedygonzales** : hes this serial killer who it turns out knows everything abt us incl our secret identities

**speedygonzales** : and hes been carrying out this years long elaborate revenge fantasy bc my brother killed his dad

**smoakandmirrors** : to be fair, his dad was a bad guy

**speedygonzales** : and hi btw, whoever the hell u r

**rideordie:** i’m maggie, alex’s girlfriend?

**thirdtimesthecharm** : it’s nice to meet you, though I wish these were better circumstances

**quicksort** : wait laurel, aren’t you the ada??

**newandimproved** : Yep, he’s my boss

**agentdanvers** : are you okay? are you safe?

**newandimproved** : Probably not

**smoakandmirrors** : oliver thinks he’s biding his time but god who even knows

**newandimproved** : I should have realized

**irisbest** : as someone who’s been in a similar position as you

**irisbest:** believe me when I say that it isn’t easy to tell when you’re in the middle of it

**agentdanvers** : situations like this always look more obvious in hindsight

**newandimproved:** Yeah, except I’ve been in a similar position before

**newandimproved** : Sebastian Blood anyone?

**speedygonzales** : oh yeah

**smoakandmirrors** : i’m sorry for not believing you about that, by the way

**newandimproved** : I wasn’t exactly reliable back then

**smoakandmirrors** : still

**smoakandmirrors** : sara you’re being quiet about this

**lancelot** : am i?

**thirdtimesthecharm** : you are actually

**smoakandmirrors** : i know you can’t help but you’re not even reacting

**speedygonzales** : wait y cant u help????

**lancelot** : the timeline

**newandimproved** : Wait

**newandimproved** : Sara Lance did you know this was going to happen????

**newandimproved** : _Sara_

**lancelot** : yes

**newandimproved** : Why didn’t you say anything???

**smoakandmirrors** : we talked about it the other day and you didn’t say anything???

**smoakandmirrors** : after you said you wished you could help???

**lancelot** : i wish i could

**speedygonzales** : how did u even kno?????

**lancelot** : i may have accidentally travelled slightly forward in time and spoke 2 ur future selves

**thirdtimesthecharm** : by how long??

**lancelot** : i cant tell u

**speedygonzales** : what happened?????

**lancelot** : _i cant tell u_

**newandimproved** : Sara we could really use your help

**lancelot** : i kno but the _timeline_

**lancelot** : i kno were not the best at keeping the timeline intact, but its still our job

**lancelot** : and i cant go against it even for u

**smoakandmirrors:** i’d tell you

**lancelot** : no u wouldnt

**newandimproved** : I would

**lancelot** : damn it laurel, u would

**lancelot:** ok, last i saw u were all ok and still in fighting shape

**newandimproved** : Thank you

**irisbest** : I hate to ask, but you didn’t happen to talk to us too???

**lancelot** : i did

**irisbest** : and????

**lancelot** : and u kinda yelled at me so i think u were fine

**quicksort** : and me???

**lancelot** : i didnt actually speak 2 u but i think u were fine 2

**irisbest** : and cait???

**lancelot** : she kinda yelled at me 2

**lancelot** : also she ended up helping me save the day

**irisbest** : thank you

**lancelot** : dont expect this again

**lancelot:** i take my job seriously

**newandimproved** : Since when???

**lancelot** : idk like a week ago

**agentdanvers** : you didn’t take it seriously before?????

**lancelot** : lol no

**rideordie** : wait, does what happen to your earth’s timeline affect ours??

**lancelot** : huh

**lancelot** : no idea

**agentdanvers** : why would you ask that I didn’t want to think about that

**lancelot** : wow danvers, loving that faith in my team

**agentdanvers** : I have faith in some of your team

**lancelot** : amaya?

**agentdanvers** : amaya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: the second half of the title was originally 'and adrian chase can go screw himself' but james deserves to be in the title more than he does
> 
> i was going to post three chapters for missing three updates, but this one's really long


	16. in which there is a slightly disturbing common thread across everyone’s relationships and sara lance is still an asshole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka matchmaking, superhero style

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm gonna finish this fic before the new seasons start if it kills me

**lancelot** created the group **letsgetdowntobusiness**

 

**lancelot** added **speedygonzales** , **irisbest** and **snowqueen** to the group **letsgetdowntobusiness**

 

**lancelot** : guys

**speedygonzales** : #TO!!! DEFEAT!!! THE HUNS!!!!!#

**speedygonzales** : sorry

**lancelot** : no its ok i was expecting it

**lancelot** : so u kno how everythings terrible rn

**speedygonzales** : yep

**lancelot:** i thought id take ur minds off it

**irisbest** : oh god

**lancelot:** ok so now weve hooked caitlin up with snarts sister and iris is finally locking it down w/ allen, i need ur help

**snowqueen** : I haven’t “hooked up” with Lisa Snart

**snowqueen** : And you didn’t do anything

**lancelot** : oh hey! cait ur back!

**snowqueen** : Yes

**lancelot** : its good to see u again

**snowqueen** : I guess

**snowqueen** : Sorry

**lancelot** : its cool, like i told u, i got thick skin

**irisbest** : so I’m guessing this is a relationship thing then?

**lancelot** : yup

**speedygonzales** : u??? need relationship advice????

**lancelot** : not 4 me!! jfc thea

**lancelot** : for felicity and laurel

**irisbest** : what????

**irisbest** : those two????

**lancelot** : look, u havent had to be in the same room as those 2 for more than 20 mins

**speedygonzales** : yh its pretty painful

**irisbest** : wait, seriously??

**snowqueen** : As much as I hate to agree with these two, they do have a certain tension

**lancelot** : so its just ur own relationships ur blind abt then?

**speedygonzales** : _dude_

**lancelot** : sorry that was maybe too far

**snowqueen** : Maybe

**lancelot** : no but srsly some1 needs to lock those 2 in a closet

**snowqueen** : We’re not going to lock them in a closet

**lancelot** : well push them out of closet, same diff

**lancelot** : they have a ridic amount of hots for each other

**lancelot** : like imagine how much hots caitlin has for lisa

**snowqueen** : You literally just apologized

**lancelot** : and then times it by like a gazillion

**speedygonzales** : actually its more than that now

**lancelot** : how can it be more than a gazillion amount of hots

**speedygonzales** : no i mean

**speedygonzales** : its more than just lust now

**speedygonzales** : gdi i cant believe u made me use the word lust abt 2 ppl who are basclly my sisters

**lancelot** : wait do they _like like_ each other????

**speedygonzales** : yup

**irisbest** : how did I miss this??????

**lancelot** : laurels very stoic abt feelings esp if theyre romantic

**lancelot** : plus fliss accidently hits on evry1 within 10 secs of meeting them

**irisbest** : okay true but still

**lancelot** : besides, neither of them have had a good relationship like ever

**lancelot** : its my sister and my best friend ok i want them to be happy

**irisbest** : oh

**lancelot** : plus have u seen laurel???? she needs to get laid

**irisbest** : how do you go from sweet to gross in 10 seconds flat???

**lancelot** : its a talent

**lancelot** : but _anyway_ laurel is my sister so im allowed to set her up w/ ppl its a sibling rule

**speedygonzales** : yh thats tru

**lancelot** : and fliss knos im setting her up w/ some1

**lancelot** : i mean she doesnt kno its with laurel but still

**speedygonzales** : and shes ok w/ it???

**speedygonzales** : bc u havent been round here in a while and felicitys last rship didnt end well

**lancelot** : i kno, she told me

**lancelot** : and im not saying they need to get 2gether now, this is just planning for the future 4 when thinsg settle down a bit

**irisbest** : uh huh

**lancelot** : ooh wait i just had an idea

**speedygonzales** : what??

**lancelot** : reinforcements

 

**lancelot** added **puppydanvers** to the group **letsgetdowntobusiness**

 

**puppydanvers** : hi :)

**lancelot** : kara i need ur help!!!!

**puppydanvers** : of course!! what can I do?

**lancelot** : i need ur help to get laurel and felicity together

**puppydanvers** : _oh,_ that kind of help

**lancelot** : well????

**puppydanvers** : sure! I love love!

**lancelot** : ok so ur sister is a nerdy badass and her gf is a stoic badass right

**puppydanvers** : I guess???

**lancelot** : how did they get together????

**puppydanvers** : wait let me make sure alex doesn’t mind me telling you

**puppydanvers** : right she said it’s okay

**puppydanvers** : well actually she just rolled her eyes but I’m taking that as a yes

**lancelot** : u asked her???

**puppydanvers** : yes??

**puppydanvers** : I mean I wasn’t sure if she would consider it private or something

**lancelot** : i would tell u guys literally anything abt laur

**lancelot** : srsly literally anything just ask

**irisbest** : wow that’s kind of terrible

**lancelot** : shes got the same privilege abt me tho

**speedygonzales** : yh me n ollie r pretty much the same

**speedygonzales** : apart from secret identities obvs

**lancelot** : well yh that was implied

**puppydanvers** : wait, why didn’t you just ask alex in the first place???

**lancelot** : ur sisters kind of a dork no offence

**lancelot** : kara???

**puppydanvers** : sorry I’m just not used to people thinking I’m the cool sister

**lancelot** : and w/ that sentence ur now the dorky 1 again

**puppydanvers** : well it was nice while it lasted

**puppydanvers** : okay, so they sort of pined after each other for a while without realizing

**lancelot** : yep

**puppydanvers** : then alex realized she was gay

**lancelot** : bi in this case, but they skipped past that part

**puppydanvers** : then maggie turned alex down and they pined for each other again

**lancelot** : probably lbr

**puppydanvers** : then maggie got shot

**snowqueen** : Let’s not do that

**lancelot** : nah fliss has already been shot

**lancelot** : which makes her the cop instead of the scientist?????

**irisbest** : has laurel been shot??

**lancelot** : u kno i honestly dont kno

**lancelot** : is that bad

**speedygonzales** : i think i kno where like 1/5 of ollies scars + tattoos are from so not really

**snowqueen** : I don’t think being shot is integral to a relationship anyway

**lancelot** : i dont think ive ever been in a serious rship w/ someone who hasnt been shot at

**speedygonzales** : i don’t think i have either?????

**irisbest** : wow, me neither????

**puppydanvers** : I never thought about it, but same????

**puppydanvers** : and it’s the same for alex and maggie, wow

**lancelot** : cait???

**snowqueen** : It isn’t the same for me

**lancelot** : ur telling me bby snarts never been shot????

**puppydanvers:** baby snart????

**lancelot** : caits girlfriend

**puppydanvers** : the supervillain???

**snowqueen** : She’s not my girlfriend

**irisbest** : ignore sara, she’s an asshole

**lancelot** : fine, the girl caits dating

**irisbest** : sara!!!

**snowqueen** : Fine

**speedygonzales** : what!!!!!

**irisbest:** wait, seriously????

**lancelot** : told u!!!!

**snowqueen** : Weren’t you guys matchmaking?

**irisbest** : okay but we are so talking about this later over ice cream

**lancelot** : wait wait wait

**irisbest** : ????

**lancelot** : a nerdy badass and a stoic badass??????

**irisbest** : yes?

**lancelot** : does that sound like any1 else we kno???

**irisbest** : quite a few people tbh

**speedygonzales** : wait r u talking abt cait and lisa???

**snowqueen** : Sara no

**lancelot** : SARA YES

**snowqueen** : Besides, Lisa isn’t stoic

**lancelot** : well duh thats u

**lancelot** : ok listen i totally wont tlk 2 her if u dont want me 2

**lancelot** : but it wud be good 2 hear her thoughts?????

**snowqueen** : You know it’s weird that you can be really thoughtful sometimes

**lancelot** : im an enigma

**lancelot** : and deep down actually a nice person?

**speedygonzales** : HA

**irisbest** : HA

**lancelot** : yh yh

**snowqueen:** Fine

**lancelot** : wait rlly????

**lancelot:** hells yh!!!!

**snowqueen** : I’m already regretting this and I haven’t even done it yet

**lancelot** : too late no takebacks!!!!

**snowqueen** : _Fine_

**snowqueen** added **allthatglitters** to the group **letsgetdowntobusiness**

**lancelot** : sup bby snart

**allthatglitters** : hey little lance

**allthatglitters** : so whats up doc?

**speedygonzales** : omg

**snowqueen** : They wanted to talk to you

**allthatglitters** : i thought you hero types didnt deign to speak to us poor lowly villains

**irisbest** : knock it off snart, we want your help

**allthatglitters** : really? what with?

**puppydanvers** : we’re trying to think of ways to set felicity and laurel up and apparently, you can help

**allthatglitters** : interesting. and who are you?

**puppydanvers** : oh I’m kara! it’s nice to meet you! :D

**allthaglitters** : wow

**irisbest** : is that a yes?

**allthatglitters** : why not, i havent got anything better to do

**allthatglitters** : well nothing id tell you about anyway

**irisbest** : charming as always

**allthatglitters** : so what do you want me to do

**lancelot** : i kno that len and mick couldntve got together by themselves so how did u do it

**speedygonzales** : wait leonard snart and mick rory are together????

**irisbest** : yes???

**lancelot** : thea theyve been married 4 like a decade

**speedygonzales** : ok in my defence ive only met them like once

**irisbest** : and you still couldn’t tell???

**speedygonzales** : listen west, u couldnt tell how much felicity wants to jump laurel so

**irisbest** : oh my god thea!!!!

**puppydanvers** : wow

**lancelot** : trufax tho

**snowqueen** : Lisa if you don’t interrupt them this will go on for a while

**allthaglitters** : alright then

**allthatglitters** : i got them together by forcing them to stay in a small space by themselves

**lancelot** : u mean……. like…….. a closet

**allthatglitters** : i mean, basically

**snowqueen** : We’re still not locking them in a closet

**lancelot** : spoilsport

**allthatglitters** : we were meant to go out on a job and i backed out at the last minute

**irisbest** : should you be telling us this??

**allthatglitters** : relax west, the statute of limitations has passed

**allthatglitters** : plus they were actually arrested for that one

**puppydanvers** : oh

**alltheglitters** : they got put in the same cell and the rest is history

**lancelot** : lol time travel joke

**lancelot** : so what ur saying is i have 2 get them arrested

**allthatglitters** : yes

**snowqueen** : No

**puppydanvers** : you two are really different, huh

**lancelot** : they have 1 thing in common

**snowqueen** : Don’t say whatever you’re about to say

**lancelot** : i was going to say a loving relationship built on mutual trust and friendship

**lancelot** : i told u snow, i’m actually a nice person deep down

**lancelot** : anyway, back to getting them arrested

**irisbest** : I’m pretty sure you can’t get laurel arrested

**lancelot** : but not felicity??? _hmmmmm_

**irisbest** : you know what I mean lance

**lancelot** : yh yh laurels a lawyer

**allthatglitters** : what kind?

**lancelot** : a da

**lancelot** : well an ada actually

**allthatglitters** : better than a prosecutor i guess

**lancelot** : um excuse me shes the best lawyer in star city

**puppydanvers** : aww

**lancelot** : not that the bars set v high

**puppydanvers** : oh

**irisbest** : yeah you get used to that

**speedygonzales** : sara!!! lawyer joke!!!

**lancelot** : damn an that was on accident, im just that good

**allthatglitters** : did you need to know anything else?

**lancelot** : if i jump out in front of len wearing a scream mask what r the chances hell stab me

**puppydanvers** : ?????????

**allthatglitters** : 60/40

**lancelot** : good 2 kno

**irisbest** : please don’t do that

**snowqueen** : Sara please don’t

**lancelot** : nah im gonna

**puppydanvers** : why???

**lancelot** : whats the point of having a medbay that can regrow tissue if u dont give it a workout????

**irisbest** : why are you like this

**allthatglitters** : i think thats my cue to leave

**snowqueen** : I would

**lancelot** : u love me really

**snowqueen** : Nope

**allthatglitters** : see you later caitlin

**snowqueen** : Bye Lisa, I’ll see you tomorrow?

**allthatglitters** : change of plans, the day after?

**snowqueen** : Okay, but I’m not going to be your alibi

**allthatglitters** : fair

**allthatglitters** has left the group

**puppydanvers** : you know, you guys have a really weird relationship with your villains

**speedygonzales** : ok but ive been saying this for ages???

**speedygonzales** : bc u central city guys spent a lot of time saying we were 2 morally gray or smth

**speedygonzales** : but also all ur bad guys kno who u r and u all hav like coffee dates w/ them???

**irisbest** : yeah now we do, but before that we all hated each other

**irisbest** : but it’s just easier to have a cordial relationship with the rogues

**irisbest** : it’s like what they say, you’ve got to keep your enemies close

**lancelot:** aka caitlins personal motto

**snowqueen** : You really are an asshole

**lancelot** : and proud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alt title: in which the author is /really/ bad at this, sorry  
> second alt title: in which the author finally starts to earn that laurel/felicity tag because it's been like 16 chapters goddamnit


	17. in which thea queen is a giant nerd and jesse wells /is/ the real flash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka into the speedforce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i only read the comments on the last chapter like five minutes ago (because i was kind of anxious about them i guess) and they're all amazing? you're all amazing, thank you guys so much

**betterthanyou** changed the group name to **missedme???**

**betterthanyou:** im back bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!

**puppydanvers** : hi lucy!!!!!!

**betterthanyou** : hi kara!!!!!!

**agentdanvers** : wait where are you?

**betterthanyou** : stuck in the airport

**agentdanvers** : do you want us to give you a lift?

**betterthanyou** : nah

**betterthanyou** : and whos _us_ bc i kno kara isnt fond of cars

**agentdanvers** : oh no

**puppydanvers** : oh yes!!!

**betterthanyou** : ????

**rideordie:** i think alex was talking about me and her

**rideordie** : i’m maggie, btw

**agentdanvers** : _oh no_

**puppydanvers:** _oh yes!!!_

**agentdanvers** : godamnit kara!!!

**betterthanyou** : ur the gf

**rideordie** : i mean i’m other things too, but yes

**betterthanyou** : hmmmmm

**rideordie** : what

**rideordie** : don’t tell me that youre about to give me the shovel speech

**betterthanyou** : dont need to

**betterthanyou** : we both kno that if u do anything then kara will throw u into the sun

**quicksort** : wait, you can do that??

**puppydanvers** : yep

**thirdtimesthecharm** : would you do that??

**puppydanvers** : yep :D

**betterthanyou** : and no thats not it

**rideordie** : then whats the problem?

**betterthanyou** : so alex didnt kno she was gay until she met u rite

**agentdanvers** : _oh you are kidding me_

**betterthanyou** : but shed already met me??????

**agentdanvers** : I hate you

**rideordie** : _oh_

**lancelot** : damn lane uve got no chill

**betterthanyou** : um excuse me have u seen me?????? im the hottest person ull ever meet danvers

**agentdanvers** : _I hate you_

**rideordie** : you’re jealous?

**betterthanyou** : i dont get jealous

**betterthanyou** : but yea

**rideordie** : i’m sorry?

**betterthanyou:** really?

**rideordie** : nope

**rideordie** : i’m sorry that you can’t deal with the fact that alex’s sexuality does not have anything to do with you

**betterthanyou** : ooooohh right answer!!!!

**betterthanyou** : ok danvers shes not terrible

**agentdanvers** : I didn’t ask for your opinion?

**betterthanyou** : and yet i gave it to u anyway, im just that good of a friend

**rideordie** : so you were just testing me??

**betterthanyou** : sure lets go w/ that

**lancelot** : hey lane a question

**betterthanyou** : yup

**lancelot** : how did u manage to date the most beautiful man

**betterthanyou** : every1 i date is the most beautiful b more specific

**lancelot** : [lucyholiday.png]

**lancelot** : that dude

**betterthanyou** : …...y do u hav a pic of us?????????

**lancelot** : kara showed us

**puppydavnvers** : well I wasn’t expecting you to save it!!!

**lancelot** : well obvs i did kara i have functioning eyes

**lancelot** : look at that and tell me that he isnt the most beautiful man uve ever seen

**betterthanyou** : well yh

**smoakandmirrors** : wait, the most beautiful???

**lancelot** : yh???

**smoakandmirrors** : have you told cisco that you’ve bumped him down a place?

**lancelot** : i asked west to but she said no

**lancelot** : i love that u kno me so well

**smoakandmirrors** : too well, probably

**lancelot** : kara said hes a vigilante 2??? do u hav a pic of him in his suit????

**betterthanyou** : even i kno that having a pic of some1 in their costume wud be a bad idea

**lancelot** : im like 90% sure that fliss and ciscos phone backgrounds r them w/ the black canary

**newandimproved** : Seriously?

**smoakandmirrors** : well it isn’t now

**newandimproved:** _Felicity_

**smoakandmirrors** : it’s a good picture!!

**betterthanyou** : lets see

**smoakandmirrors** : [bc3.png]

**betterthanyou** : _damn lance_

**irisbest** : …that _is_ a good picture

**smoakandmirrors:** exactly!!

**agentdanvers** : that’s a lot of leather

**rideordie** : and alex should know she owns a lot

**lancelot** : does she now

**agentdanvers** : leather _jackets_ get your mind out of the gutter

**lancelot** : i cant thats where it lives

**lancelot** : anyway can we not tlk abt how hot my sister is its kinda gross

**irisbest** : ????????

**irisbest** : _from you????_

**newandimproved** : You made us watch you flirt with yourself???

**agentdanvers** : okay sorry what

**lancelot** : yh but i dont care, i kno this makes u uncomfortable

**newandimproved** : Oh

**newandimproved** : Thanks Sara

**lancelot** : w/e

**smoakandmirrors** : ok i’ve changed it

**newandimproved** : And what have you changed it to?

**smoakandmirrors** : something normal

**newandimproved** : Felicity

**smoakandmirrors** : fine, it’s me and the flash

**irisbest** : aww

**irisbest** : but also change it

**smoakandmirrors** : ugh

**smoakandmirrors** : now it’s me and thea, happy???

**speedygonzales** : aww thx

**speedygonzales** : i mean im not happy im ur 3rd choice but

**smoakandmirrors** : technically 5th but i can’t use sara and ray bc they’re meant to be dead

**speedygonzales** : _wow smoak_

**agentdanvers** : question: how could you flirt with yourself?

**lancelot** : T

**lancelot** : I

**lancelot** : M

**lancelot** : E

**lancelot** : [space]

**lancelot** : T

**lancelot** : R

**lancelot** : A

**lancelot** : V

**lancelot** : E

**lancelot** : L

**newandimproved** : Was that really necessary

**lancelot** : well seeing as you all keep forgetting i figured id try to make it actually stick

**agentdanvers** : I’m not exactly used to having to remember things like that

**lancelot** : ur. sisters. an. alien.

**agentdanvers** : but not a time travelling one though

**betterthanyou** : ok lance 2nd question

**lancelot** : yh??

**betterthanyou** : what was it like flirting w/ urself

**lancelot** : best thing thats ever happened to me tbh

**newandimproved** : I brought you back from the dead???

**lancelot** : ehhh

**rideordie** : ???????

**agentdanvers** : sara was dead? somehow?

**rideordie** : you know that doesnt make me any less confused

**thirdtimesthecharm** : yeah, you get used to that

**agentdanvers** : I still haven’t

**quicksort** : it takes a while

**speedygonzales** : r u rlly telling me that none of u hav been dead???

**puppydanvers** : ...no?

**betterthanyou** : your experiences are not universal!!!

**speedygonzales** : not even anybody on ur world????

**agentdanvers** : there’s been people we thought were dead but not people who were actually resurrected

**lancelot** : damn

**lancelot** : u rnt even allowed in the legends unless uve been dead

**rideordie** : all of you? really???

**lancelot** : well dead or pseudo dead but yh??? basically???

**lancelot** : i mean we all watched our alt future selves die

**rideordie** : is your whole world like this or just you guys???

**lancelot:** but also appart from that i think theres only maybe 3 ppl who havent come back from the dead???

**thirdtimesthecharm** : it’s mostly just those guys

**smoakandmirrors** : wait who??

**lancelot** : i think amaya and jax and nate????

**lancelot** : hmmmm

**snowqueen:** Please tell me you’re not going to get them killed just so you can have a unifying theme

**lancelot** : HMMMMM

**newandimproved** : That would be a ridiculously bad idea, even for you

**lancelot** : _HMMMMM_

**lancelot** : guys dont worry amaya is way 2 sensible 2 fall 4 anything and jax has known me 2 long 2 trust me

**quicksort** : what about the other person? nate?

**lancelot** : oh that boy is DEAD nate is way 2 trusting we need to train him out of it rlly

**lancelot** : i mean nate is basically ray if he was obsessed w/ indiana jones instead of star wars

**lancelot** : and dont ask how i kno that

**speedygonzales** : how do u kno that

**lancelot** : i said dont ask speedy i dont want fliss 2 hav a heart attack

**smoakandmirrors** : ?????

**lancelot** : _fine_ this 1 time i saved this dude called george lucas

**smoakandmirrors** : !!!!!!!!!!

**speedygonzales** : !!!!!!!!!!!!

**agenydanvers:** wait really???

**lancelot** : _speedy no_

**speedygonzales** : listen u knew i was a nerd when u 1st met me this is on u

**snowqueen** : Wait, saved? How was he in danger?

**lancelot** : u 2 caitlin???

**snowqueen** : Not me personally, but Cisco and Lisa love Star Wars and Indiana Jones

**snowqueen** : Though I think the Snarts prefer Star Trek to Star Wars?

**snowqueen** : Lisa has a lot of merch. Too much for it to be just her’s

**lancelot** : ugh ur so gross and sappy

**snowqueen** : …I’m sorry?

**lancelot** : and its a long story but we had to fight the legion of doom at his college

**lancelot:** and it freaked him out so much that he decided to become like an insurance guy instead of a writer

**lancelot** : and we had to convince him not to

**newandimproved** : You nearly stopped Star Wars from being written?????

**lancelot** : NO LAUR WHAT HAS FLISS DONE TO YOU

**newandimproved** : Thea showed them to me actually, way before I met Felicity

**lancelot** : i literally just gasped

**lancelot** : speedy how could u do this 2 me

**lancelot** : how could u turn my own sister into a nerd

**newandimproved** : HEY!

**speedygonzales** : just be greatful i hvent introduced her to comic books yet

**lancelot** : U WOULDNT DARE

**speedygonzales** : hm then u best b more careful around important ppl in history

**agentdanvers** : maybe just be more careful in general??

**irisbest** : yes I second that please

**thirdtimesthecharm** : your stories do always seem pretty terrifying when you think about them

**lancelot** : but theyre the best kind of stories!!

 

**irisbest** has left the group

 

**snowqueen** has left the group

 

**quicksort** has left the group

**lancelot** : what just happened??????

**smoakandmirrors** : i don’t know, cisco’s not answering my texts???

**smoakandmirrors** : and i keep tyring to message barry and the texts won’t send????

**speedygonzales** : i cant reach jesse or wally either

**agentdanvers** : is there any other way of reaching the others?

**smoakandmirrors** : usually they come to us, not the other way around

**rideordie** : can’t you use your spaceship to get there?

**lancelot** : timeship and no it doesnt work like that

**lancelot** : plus central isnt really the best place for timetravellers

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I can’t see anything on the internet about central

**rideordie** : maybe it’s something that’s only happening to their team?

**puppydanvers** : but if it was something really bad then wouldn’t you be able to see it on the news?

**smoakandmirrors** : not necessarily

**speedygonzales** : yh ive been hearing stories abt what happens down in central

**speedygonzales** : a lot of its pretty contained to team flash

**speedygonzales** : i just hope theyre ok

**betterthanyou** : from what ive been hearing abt ur earth, it seems like u guys get through a lot

**puppydanvers** : yeah you guys have overcome things that I don’t think we could

**smoakandmirrors** : thanks guys

**agentdanvers** : I wish we weren’t a whole earth away so we could help

**speedygonzales** : well its not like were doing much

**speedygonzales** : sorry im just worried

**quicksort** joined the group **missedme???**

**lancelot** : whats going on?????

**speedygonzales** : r u ok?

**quicksort** : is wally okay? in the future?

**lancelot** : idk iris didnt say anything abt him y?

**quicksort** : because hes in the speedforce

**smoakandmirrors** : omg are you all ok?

**quicksort** : of course not

**quicksort** : barry went in after him and caitlin’s beating herself up over the whole thing

**quicksort** : I’m only here because apparently there isnt really anything I can do

**newandimproved** : Is there anything that we can do?

**quicksort** : no

**quicksort** : not unless you have some way of travelling into the speedforce

**lancelot** : no sorry

**lancelot** : i dont kno much abt it

**lancelot:** but i kno that time ships cant travel there bc even the time masters were afraid of it

**rideordie** : what is it? if you don’t mind me asking?

**quicksort** : it’s hard to explain but it’s like a separate dimension where all speedsters’ powers come from

**quicksort** : future barry trapped savitar there but he tricked wally into trading places with him

**quicksort** : but he only managed to get out because caitlin hid a part of this stone thing that we all agreed to get rid of

**quicksort** : but she only kept it because she thought it could get rid of her powers

**quicksort** : but she only has powers because barry changed the timeline

**quicksort** : everything’s a mess

**quicksort** : and I’m just stuck here being useless

**newandimproved** : You’re not useless Jesse

**quicksort** : but I’m not the flash

**lancelot** : so????

**smoakandmirrors** : yeah i love barry, but you don’t have to be him to help

**lancelot** : actually youll probably help more not being him

**smoakandmirrors** : _sara_

**newandimproved** : No I think I understand what she’s saying

**newandimproved** : Barry’s been speeding round central for around 3 years now right?

**newandimproved:** Everyone knows his stragtegies and limits, but they dont know you, so you’ve got the advantage

**lancelot** : exactly

**lancelot** : bad guys wont be expecting u and they wont kno how to fight u

**quicksort** : oh

**quicksort** : I didn’t think of it like that

**newandimproved** : Maybe it only seems like there’s nothing that you can do because there’s nothing that Barry could do

**lancelot** : but ur not barry, so u can go abt it in a completely different way

**quicksort** : yeah

**quicksort** : just because I can’t be barry doesn’t mean I can’t be the flash right

**newandimproved** : Exactly

**quicksort** : I don’t need to wait for barry and wally to get back, I can take on savitar on my own

 

**quicksort** has left the group

 

**newandimproved** : Wait no

**newandimproved** : No

**newandimproved** : Shit

**lancelot** : laur???

**newandimproved** : I just basically pressured a teenager into fighting a god by herself

**lancelot** : um no u didnt????

**lancelot** : 1st of all i was tlking to her 2

**lancelot** : and 2nd she wouldve gone anyway except she wouldve spent the whole time trying to 1 up allen

**lancelot** : and now shes gonna think abt her strategy and shes gonna be unpredictable and harder 2 beat

**lancelot** : and its not like she wouldntve been formidable anyway

**lancelot** : but now shell be even better

**lancelot** : u _helped_ laur

**newandimproved** : I really hope so

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen i do actually really like hr but canary pep talk >>>>>>> hr pep talk y/y?  
> also cisco and felicity have ~100 pictures of the black canary between them and every time they meet up they compare them


	18. in which felicity smoak is …somewhere and barry allen is probably going to get his ass kicked by like five different people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka arrow's relationships are an absolute /mess/

**irisbest** : guys

**irisbest** : we got wally back

**newandimproved** : Oh thank god

**speedygonzales** : is he ok???? he’s not talking much

**irisbest** : he’s recovering

**irisbest** : and jesse’s fine btw

**irisbest** : even though she _took on a god by herself_

**newandimproved** : Iris I’m sorry that I encouraged her

**lancelot** : _we_ idiot

**irisbest** : guys it’s fine, jesse is pretty headstrong

**irisbest:** there’s no way she does anything that she doesn’t want to do

**irisbest** : she’s not here today though because she’s moving

**speedygonzales** : yh to earth3 i heard

**lancelot** : wait already???

**thirdtimesthecharm** : she hasn’t been here that long has she?

**irisbest** : she hasn’t no, but jay garrick stayed behind in the speedforce so wally and barry could leave

**irisbest** : jesse’s gone to look after his central city

**speedygonzales** : oh

**speedygonzales** : do u think shell b ok

**newandimproved** : I think that Jesse is a lot like another very stubborn very noble person here

**newandimproved:** and she always lands on her feet

**lancelot** : ur right,,, she is like u

**newandimproved** : You know full well I was talking about you, but now I’m taking it back, Jesse isn’t irritating

**lancelot** : oh no im so hurt what shall i do

**irisbest** : hey guys have any of you heard from felicity?

**newandimproved** : She’s lost her phone

**lancelot** : felicity smoak?????? lost her phone?????

**speedygonzales** : well thats what she said

**lancelot:** right

**speedygonzales** : shes been p distracted lately

**lancelot** : w/ her hacker group?

**speedygonzales** : she told u???

**lancelot** : u dont have 2 sound so surprised

**speedygonzales** : and yh

**lancelot** : hmmmm

**irisbest** : guys I’ve got something else to tell you

**newandimproved** : World ending important?

**irisbest** : personally important

**lancelot** : speedy can we tlk abt this later?

**speedygonzales** : sure

**lancelot** : go on then west

**irisbest** : we’ve called off the engagement

**newandimproved** : Oh Iris I’m sorry

**puppydanvers** : are you okay??

**irisbest** : I don’t know

**lancelot** : well i guess at least now we dont have to clear a space in our calendars

**betterthanyou** : um

**newandimproved** : What’s wrong with you???

**lancelot** : i thought humor would help!!! i figured west wouldnt want me to beat allen up for her

**irisbest** : I’m not so sure about that

**lancelot** : really??? bc weve got some things thatll slow down a speedster so i can kick his ass

**lancelot** : or u can, either way

**lancelot** : i mean im assuming it was something he did

**irisbest** : it’s complicated

**puppydanvers** : want to talk about it?

**irisbest** : I was really hoping to speak to felicity

**irisbest** : not that it isn’t good speaking to you guys

**lancelot** : wait how can fliss help

**irisbest** : because of felicity and oliver

**puppydanvers** : wait felicity and oliver?????

**lancelot** : bc they dated???

**thirdtimesthecharm** : they dated???

**speedygonzales** : bc they were engaged?????

**lancelot** : SINCE WHEN??????

**speedygonzales** : relax lance theyre not anymore

**lancelot** : oh thank god

**newandimproved** : Why do you care so much?

**lancelot** : reasons

**newandimproved** : Wait

**newandimproved** : Sara do you like Felicity????

**speedygonzales** : OH MY GODDDDD

**puppydanvers** : !!!!

**newandimproved** : ?????

**speedygonzales** : AMAYA I KNO U HAV THIS ON MUTE BUT PLS TELL ME U CAN SEE THIS MESSAGE I NEED 2 KNO HOW SARA REACTED

**speedygonzales** : GIDEON I KNO U MONITOR THESE MAKE AMAYA LOOK AT HER PHONE

**rideordie** : who’s gideon and why is she monitoring these?

**agentdanvers** : she’s the ai that runs sara’s ship

**betterthanyou** : apparently shes hot

**rideordie:** of course she is

**vixen** : Why does Gideon think I need to talk to you?

**vixen** : Is it related to the choking fit Sara’s currently having?

**speedygonzales** : YES THANK U GOD IN HEAVEN

**irisbest** : hi amaya!

**vixen** : Hello again Iris

**rideordie** : hey, i’m maggie, alex’s girlfriend

**vixen** : It’s nice to meet you, I’m Sara’s teammate

**rideordie** : you time travel too???

**vixen** : Yes

**agentdanvers** : she’s from the 40s too

**rideordie** : oh

**agentdanvers** : yup

**vixen** : Thea, why are you happy that Sara is choking?

**speedygonzales** : its an inside joke

**newandimproved** : Why do I get the feeling I’m missing something?

**snowqueen** : Don’t mind them, they’re just idiots

**newandimproved** : Well I already knew that

**lancelot** : DINAH LAUREL LANCE I HAVE NEVER AND WILL NEVER LIKE FELICITY IN THAT WAY TYVM

**puppydanvers** : wait you have two dinahs???

**speedygonzales** : yh but dont ever call laurel dinah shell fight u

**newandimproved** : Didn’t you two make out?

**irisbest** : wait what???????

**puppydanvers** : sara you never told us that!!!

**lancelot** : uh didnt u make out w/ nyssa

**speedygonzales** : what!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**newandimproved** : No!!!!!

**rideordie** : who’s nyssa?

**irisbest** : sara’s ex girlfriend

**speedygonzales** : she taught laurel how to fight

**speedygonzales** : ...which now i think abt it is how sara and nyssa got 2gether????

**speedygonzales** : and u 2 _did_ share lots of lingering glances????

**newandimproved** : You weren’t even in America then!!!

**lancelot** : so something happened when speedy was in corto maltese?????

**newandimproved** : I was never with Nyssa!!

**lancelot** : i mean damn laurel my body wasnt even cold

**rideordie** : that’s never going to stop being weird

**newandimproved** : Nyssa’s my best friend, I don’t think of her that way!!!

**lancelot** : oh ok

**newandimproved** : That’s it???

**lancelot** : nobody can get w/ ur best friend laurel thats jst weird

**lancelot** : uh no offence west

**lancelot** : oh shit sorry!!!!

**newandimproved:** Iris I’m so sorry, we just completely talked over you

**irisbest** : no, it felt good to focus on someone else’s love life drama for a while

**irisbest** : and this _is_ pretty entertaining

**irisbest** : did you really make out with felicity???

**lancelot** : ok in my defence shes v cute and id just broken up w/ nyssa

**speedygonzales** : dude!!!!

**irisbest** : wait really????

**newandimproved** : What happened to you can’t like your best friend???

**lancelot** : well she wasnt my best friend then!!!

**puppydanvers** : and I thought that relationships on our world were complicated

**irisbest** : oh wow

**puppydanvers** : ???

**speedygonzales** : ha

**speedygonzales** : ha

**speedygonzales** : _ha_

**rideordie** : ?????

**betterthanyou** : oh pls tell me the story behind this i gotta kno

**speedygonzales** : ok so u kno my bros ollie right?

**puppydanvers** : yeah

**speedygonzales** : so he was dating laurel thru hs and college

**puppydanvers** : really???

**puppydanvers** : i didn’t know you two dated

**speedygonzales** : oh u sweet summer child

**speedygonzales** : ok so he cheated on her w/ multiple girls

**speedygonzales:** uh sorry laurel

**newandimproved** : It’s okay, it’s old news now

**speedygonzales** : incl a girl he actually knocked up

**puppydanvers** : OLIVER HAS A CHILD??????

**speedygonzales** : yh a son

**newandimproved** : He’s a very cute kid, to be fair

**speedygonzales** : he also cheated on laurel w/ sara

**agentdanvers** : really???

**betterthanyou** : really lance

**lancelot** : yes i kno i was young and stupid

**newandimproved** : You’re still stupid

**lancelot** : w/e

**speedygonzales** : and he took sara on a yacht trip, and then the yacht sunk which is how every1 found out they were 2gether

**rideordie** : ouch

**speedygonzales** : and anyway after ollie got back he got back w/ laurel again

**betterthanyou** : ????????????????????????????????

**newandimproved** : …okay I was also young and stupid, but we did only sleep together once

**lancelot** : still stupid!!!!

**newandimproved** : Yeah I deserved that

**speedygonzales** : then sara turned up and got back w/ ollie

**newandimproved** : Do I even need to say anything

**lancelot** : yh yh

**betterthanyou** : ok is this guy like super hot or something

**irisbest** : very

**speedygonzales** : eh i mean hes prob not bad???

**speedygonzales** : anyway, meanwhile nyssa, saras assassin ex, came in town to try and get sara back

**speedygonzales** : w/ murder???

**speedygonzales** : i wasnt in the kno then so idk what rlly went down

**lancelot** : yep murder

**rideordie** : i feel like this is the point where i remind everyone that im a cop

**thirdtimesthecharm** : now you know how I feel

**lancelot** : eh my dad was a cop and laurels a lawyer if they havent straightened me out nothing will

**newandimproved** : Don’t even try and pretend that was on accident

**lancelot** : it couldve been!!!!

**lancelot** : anyway we had a complicated rship, and her dad was an semi immortal bigoted psychopath tbf

**lancelot** : and laurels forgiven her anway so

**irisbest** : wait nyssa tried to kill you???

**newandimproved** : Sort of?

**lancelot** : yh but who hasnt

**newandimproved** : Pretty much just you and Nyssa

**rideordie:** what

**lancelot** : tbf i didnt have a soul

**rideordie** : _what_

**agentdanvers** : um what

**puppydanvers** : ???????

**lancelot** : ha ha good times

**agentdanvers** : that’s not an explanation?

**lancelot** : when laurel brought me back to life she forgot to get my soul

**newandimproved** : I didn’t _forget_ , it just didn’t come back with you

**lancelot** : and yet i didnt have that problem

**newandimproved** : You used highly advanced future technology, I used a centuries old magical pit of evil

**lancelot** : excuses excuses

**rideordie** : wait you died too????

**lancelot:** its a canary thing

**thirdtimesthecharm** : it’s a _l_ _ance_ thing

**thirdtimesthecharm:** at least I hope so

**speedygonzales** : anyway

**speedygonzales:** eventually sara and ollie split, for u kno good reason, and sara went back w/ nyssa

**lancelot** : then i died bitches!!!!

**agentdanvers** : you’re too happy about that

**lancelot** : its my death and im gonna own it

**lancelot** : i mean do u rlly think im gonna give merlyn the satisfaction of being sad abt it????

**thirdtimesthecharm** : wait, merlyn thea’s dad???? he killed you????

**speedygonzales** : *biodad and yh sort of

**lancelot** : not sort of, thats exactly what happened

**lancelot** : but anyway after i died nyssa left the league bc her stupid dad wouldnt like avenge me or something

**lancelot** : and she went and taught laurel instead???

**newandimproved** : Yes, and _nothing happened_

**lancelot** : and at the same time ollie got w/ fliss??????

**speedygonzales** : yep

**speedygonzales** : and they got engaged and everythin but then hey remember that secret kid???

**speedygonzales** : well he came back and felicity was pissed that ollie didnt tell her abt him and didnt trust her more

**speedygonzales** : which tbf ollie only knew 4 like a month b4 and the kids mom told him not 2 tell any1

**speedygonzales:** but barry told him that not telling her wud be bad abd he didnt listen

**speedygonzales** : and every1 knos u hav 2 listen 2 time travellers

**lancelot** : and yet nobody listens to me

**agentdanvers** : you have no idea what you’re doing!

**lancelot** : wow, words hurt danvers

**puppydanvers:** wait barry’s a timetraveller????

**lancelot** : ha he wishes

**snowqueen** : Don’t get into this again

**lancelot** : then stop messing w/ time!!!! thats _my_ teams thing!!!!

**lancelot** : do we go and mess up alt earths???? no!!! bc thats _ur_ teams thing!!!!

**speedygonzales** : anyway

**speedygonzales:** is that everything???

**newandimproved** : And Sara made out with Felicity???

**speedygonzales** : yh when was that???

**lancelot** : btwn ollie and nyssa the 2nd time???

**lancelot** : and _anyway_ , if youd let me explain, we decided wed be better as friends and it never happened again

**lancelot** : also were both adults anyway so

**newandimproved** : And Nyssa and I aren’t?????

**lancelot** : yh but im ur little sister i have to mock abt this sort of stuff its the law

**speedygonzales** : yh thats tru

**puppydanvers** : it really is

**agentdanvers** : no it isn’t!!!

**rideordie** : as a cop, ive gotta say that it is the law

**agentdanvers** : sawyer!!!

**rideordie** : sorry danvers

**lancelot** : wait waot wait wait wait wait wait

**speedygonzales** : ??????

**lancelot** : how did u even kno we made out anyway???????

**newandimproved** : Felicity told me

**lancelot** : !!!!!!!!!!!!!

**newandimproved** : What????

**irisbest** : nothing, ignore sara

**smoakandmirrors** : hey guys!!! i found my phone!!!!

**speedygonzales** : y didnt u tell me u made out w/ sara!!!!

**smoakandmirrors:** it’s a funny story actually

**smoakandmirrors** : wait what

**smoakandmirrors** : which lance do i need to yell at?????

**lancelot** : it was laurel

**smoakandmirrors** : laurel???? why???

**lancelot** : SHE THOUGHT I HAD A CRUSH ON U

**smoakandmirrors** : ew no

**lancelot** : see???

**lancelot** : wait did u only tell laurel???

**smoakandmirrors** : and ray

**lancelot** : RAY????????

**smoakandmirrors** : well yeah?? he’s my best friend

**smoakandmirrors** : guys?????

**smoakandmirrors** : what?????

**smoakandmirrors** : what did i say?????

**irisbest** : plot twist

**speedygonzales** : _#MMM WHATCHA SAY#_

**speedygonzales:** _top 10 anime betrayals_

**lancelot** : FELICITY MEGHAN SMOAK

**smoakandmirrors** : i know you know there’s no h in my name

**lancelot** : IM TOO HURT TO BOTHER TO SPELL UR NAME CORRECTLY

**smoakandmirrors** : ?????

**smoakandmirrors** : _oh for gods sake lance_

**smoakandmirrors** : ray’s my best _guy_ friend

**lancelot** : oh

**lancelot** : what abt laurel then?

**smoakandmirrors** : she’s my best girl friend

**lancelot** : ha gay

**newandimproved** : Why are you like this

**lancelot** : hey wait what abt me???? im a girl??????

**smoakandmirrors** : you’re a force of nature

**smoakandmirrors** : and you’re my best overall friend

**lancelot** : !!!!!!!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : and you’re an idiot

**lancelot:** love u smoak

**smoakandmirrors** : ugh love you too lance

**newandimproved** : And you don’t get why I could think you might like each other???

**lancelot** : well of course i love my best friend who else am i meant 2 love, myself??????

**speedygonzales** : same

**smoakandmirrors** : sara was the first person who believed that i could be more than just the tech support

**lancelot** : u kno thats not tru fliss

**smoakandmirrors** : i know, but it kinda felt like that at the time

**smoakandmirrors** : and sara was my first best friend so

**lancelot** : so ur stuck w/ me

**smoakandmirrors** : basically

**lancelot** : wait!!! r u saying i took ur bff virginity!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : _NO_

**smoakandmirrors** : i’m not saying that and neither are you

**smoakandmirrors** : ever again

**betterthanyou** : oh man im stealing that

**puppydanvers** : about who???

**betterthanyou** : alex duh

**agentdanvers** : I had best friends before you???

**betterthanyou** : not incl kara

**agentdanver** : yes??

**betterthanyou** : or girls that u were actually in love w/ but were repressing feelings into friendship

**rideordie** : _ouch_

**agentdanvers** : that’s a cheap shot lane

**betterthanyou** : my favorite kind

**agentdanvers** : and thanks sawyer

**rideordie** : youre welcome danvers :)

**agentdanvers** : you need to stop spending so much time around kara

**puppydanvers** : :) :) :) :)

**lancelot** : so just laur and ray then???

**smoakandmirrors** : well that’s who i told

**lancelot:** tho u kno that nyssa knows 2 right

**smoakandmirrors** : you told her?

**lancelot** : didnt have to, she just Knew

**smoakandmirrors** : …yep effortlessly creepy, sounds like nyssa

**lancelot** : i kno isnt she great

**lancelot** : oh yh anyway

**lancelot** : west wants to speak to you

**smoakandmirrors** : is something up?

**irisbest** : we called the engagement off

**smoakandmirrors** : i bet i could whip up something that could hurt a speedster if you want

**rideordie** : does everyone here always react with violence first

**thirdtimesthecharm** : pretty much

**speedygonzales** : i mean i dont wanna say hypocrite but

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I never said that I wasn’t part of everyone

**irisbest** : you’re sweet, but no I just wanted to talk

**smoakandmirrors** : it hurts, a lot, and it will for a while, but also you feel clearer?

**smoakandmirrors** : at least that’s how it was for me

**smoakandmirrors** : it kind of depends on why you’ve broken up

**irisbest** : oh we haven’t! we’re just taking a little break, but we’re still together

**irisbest** : hopefully

**speedygonzales** : r u telling me i went thru the whole _queen-lance-smoak-whatever nyssas last name is_ dating history

**lancelot** : raatko

**newandimproved** : It’s Raatko

**speedygonzales** : and u 2 havent even broken up??????

**smoakandmirrors** : wait you did what

**irisbest** : I didn’t ask you to!!!

**newandimproved** : And neither did I!!!

**puppydanvers** : well I’m glad you two are still together!

**irisbest** : thanks kara

**smoakandmirrors** : so why did you call off the engagement then?

**irisbest** : because he only proposed because he knew we weren’t engaged in the future

**rideordie** : ?

**lancelot** : oh

**lancelot** : thats not bad actually?

**lancelot** : i mean i kno sometimes im a bit harsh on u guys when u mess w/ time

**snowqueen** : You do it all the time

**lancelot** : well so do u!!!!

**lancelot** : but anyway

**lancelot** : this is actually not a terrible way to change things?

**irisbest** : did you just compliment barry???

**lancelot** : i kno i can actually feel my soul leaving my body

**lancelot** : and believe me i kno full well what that feels like

**lancelot** : and yh i get y ud be pissed abt it

**irisbest** : thanks

**lancelot** : tho it sounded like it was a mutual decision???

**irisbest** : sort of

**irisbest** : I guess?

**irisbest** : I called it off originally then realized that I wanted to get married anyway, and I knew he did too

**irisbest** : and it didn’t matter to me why he’d asked then

**irisbest** : and then he called it off because he wanted to be able to focus on saving me or whatever

**lancelot** : …so the offer to beat him up still stands

**smoakandmirrors** : same here

**speedygonzales** : i kno i didnt originally offer but same

**betterthanyou** : u kno i dont even kno half of whats going on but im always up 4 a fight

**agentdanvers:** so what is going on? what happens in the future?

**irisbest** : I get murdered

**irisbest** : in about two months

**irisbest** : yeah

**puppydanvers** : but then you have to change the future

**irisbest** : we’re trying

**agentdanvers** : Is there anything else you could change other than being engaged?

**snowqueen** : No

**irisbest** : _yes_

**lancelot** : oh

**irisbest** : yeah

**rideordie** : what?

**snowqueen** : Did nobody tell you guys?

**irisbest** : I sort of did? I didn’t know how much you’d want me to tell them though so I didn’t say much

**snowqueen** : Oh

**snowqueen** : Thank you

**snowqueen** : Sometime between now and in two months’ time, I become a supervillain

**irisbest** : you don’t know that it’s going to happen

**snowqueen** : Barry and Cisco both saw it happen

**irisbest** : yeah and they’ve been wrong before

**lancelot** : multiple times!

**lancelot** : sides not all supervillains are that bad right???

**lancelot** : i mean u r dating 1

**rideordie** : sorry youre dating a supervillain???

**irisbest** : a nice one though!!!

**lancelot** : my point _exactly_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are too many characters in this chapter. too many  
> also i've got about half a dozen mostly finished chapters and about a week of free time, so they'll probably be up soon


	19. in which helena bertinelli has done nothing wrong, ever, in her life and felicity smoak is /not/ passive aggressive, shut up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka pt4 of which idiots trusted the legends with the timeline

**lancelot** created the group **heyguys!!!**

**lancelot** added **newandimproved** , **smoakandmirrors** and **speedygonzales** to the group **heyguys!!!**

 

 **lancelot** : felicity

 **lancelot** : u kno how evrthing my team does is v important

 **lancelot** : bc we keep reality from collapsing

 **smoakandmirrors** : i don’t like where this is going

 **lancelot** : well long story but we need someone familiar with the mob

 **newandimproved** : I’m not even going to ask

 **lancelot** : thats probably 4 the best

 **smoakandmirrors** : do you mean oliver? because you know you can ask him yourself, he won’t mind

 **speedygonzales** : olivers in the mob???

 **lancelot** : no not bratva

 **speedygonzales** : olivers in the russian mob?????

 **lancelot** : the italian mob

 **smoakandmirrors** : nope

 **newandimproved** : I really hope you’re not talking about who I think you’re talking about

 **lancelot** : its 4 the sake of the timeline

 **smoakandmirrors** : no way sara!!

 **lancelot** : felicity

 **smoakandmirrors** : she tried to kill me!

 **speedygonzales** : and laurel!

 **smoakandmirrors:** and laurel!

 **lancelot** : felicty

 **smoakandmirrors** : i’m not going to help you break that psychopath out of prison!!

 **lancelot** : felicity

 **smoakandmirrors** : you’ve already done it haven’t you

 **lancelot** : yh this was more of a fyi

 **smoakandmirrors** : i hate you

 

 **lancelot** added **stabbymcstab** to the group **heyguys!!!**

 

 **stabbymcstab:** sup bitches

 **smoakandmirrors** : i hate you too

 **stabbymcstab:** love you too sweetcheeks

 **smoakandmirrors** : _sara_

 **lancelot** : play nice kids

 **lancelot** : ugh i sound like laurel

 **stabbymcstab:** oh god you do

 **newandimproved** : _I’m right here_

 **smoakandmirrors** : change your name

 **stabbymcstab:** why???

 **smoakandmirrors** : you didn’t even stab anyone???

 **stabbymcstab:** that you know of

 **smoakandmirrors** : that’s not something you should be proud of!!!!

 **stabbymcstab:** ugh fine

 

 **stabbymcstab** changed their name to **shotthrutheheart**

 

 **smoakandmirrors** : _no_

 **shotthrutheheart:** …

 **shotthrutheheart:** AND YOURE TO BLAME

 **lancelot** : DARLIN U GIVE LOOOOOVE A BADDDDD NAME

 **speedygonzales** : *SICK GUITAR SOLO*

 **smoakandmirrors** : i. hate. you.

 **shotthrutheheart:** so hey whats been happening down in murder city

 **smoakandmirrors** : says the murderer???

 **shotthrutheheart:** exactly i gotta know who my competition is

 **speedygonzales** : nice to see u havent changed

 **shotthrutheheart:** thank you!

 **speedygonzales** : and uhhh not much

 **shotthrutheheart:** really

 **speedygonzales** : ok much but i dont really want to tell u

 **shotthrutheheart:** fair

 **smoakandmirrors** : that’s it???

 **shotthrutheheart:** im trying to do better with the whole empathy thing

 **smoakandmirrors:** _really_

 **shotthrutheheart:** iron heights is pretty much a hellhole but they did have free therapy

 **shotthrutheheart:** figured id make use of it while i was there

 **smoakandmirrors** : oh

 **smoakandmirrors** : that’s good

 **newandimproved** : Are you keeping up with it?

 **shotthrutheheart:** i probably should yeah

 **newandimproved** : If it’s helping, then yes you should

 **shotthrutheheart:** i know but its hard finding a therapist thatll belive ive done the things ive done

 **newandimproved** : But you know it’ll help you in the long run

 **shotthrutheheart:** yeah i know

 **smoakandmirrors** : wait

 **smoakandmirrors** : this doesn’t sound like a conversation between two people who haven’t seen each other in 3 years

 **smoakandmirrors** : have you two kept in touch???????

 **newandimproved** : I visited her sometimes

 **shotthrutheheart:** she was pretty much my only visitor

 **shotthrutheheart:** not that im complaining

 **shotthrutheheart:** you are very nice to look at

 **newandimproved** : Thanks Helena

 **smoakandmirrors** : ?????????????

 **smoakandmirrors** : why??????????

 **newandimproved** : You know how much I believe in second chances

 **smoakandmirrors** : yes but i wish it meant you’d stop becoming bffs with the people who try to kill you

 **shotthrutheheart:** yeah but who havent i tried to kill

 **smoakandmirrors** : which is why you should have no friends????

 **lancelot** : hey im an ex-assassin remember???

 **smoakandmirrors** : yeah and sometimes i wonder about you too

 **lancelot** : THANKS FLISS

 **speedygonzales** : hey wait if u 2 r friends then y were u against sara breaking her out of prison????

 **newandimproved** : Still a lawyer

 **speedygonzales** : oh yh

 **newandimproved** : Also it seemed like it was helping

 **shotthrutheheart:** yeah but also prison, so

 **lancelot** : i mean honetsly at this point the next member of the legends _has_ to be a shrink

 **lancelot** : like who on this ship doesnt need one tbh

 **newandimproved** : I know you probably mean that as a joke but that’s not a bad idea

 **newandimproved** : But also you should get a medical doctor too

 **lancelot** : yh but we got gideon

 **newandimproved** : But she can’t go out into the field with you

 **lancelot** : i guess

 **lancelot** : huh

 **newandimproved** : What?

 **lancelot** : nothing, just had a thought

 **newandimproved** : So what did you two do exactly

 **newandimproved:** When Sara took you out on a mission

 **shotthrutheheart:** is that judgement im hearing

 **newandimproved** : More like apprehension

 **newandimproved** : Why, was I being too subtle?

 **lancelot** : relax guys, it wasnt jst us, it was the whole team 2

 **smoakandmirrors** : sara you know i love you guys

 **lancelot** : yh i kno

 **smoakandmirrors** : but youre kind of terrible at your jobs

 **smoakandmirrors** : amaya excluded

 **lancelot** : well yh obvs

 **lancelot** : but anyway sorry were not the best but its not like theres any1 else who could do what we do

 **smoakandmirrors** : YES THERE WERE AND YOU BLEW THEM UP

 **lancelot** : oh yh lol

 **lancelot** : but also they were using their power to make time go how they wanted

 **lancelot** : and to keep an evil dictator in charge of the whole world so

 **lancelot** : were clearly the better option

 **smoakandmirrors** : who could say

 **lancelot** : wow ur rlly pissed i broke bertinelli out of prison huh

 **smoakandmirrors** : WHAT GAVE IT AWAY

 **lancelot** : u kno passive aggression isnt good for the heart

 **smoakandmirrors** : I'M NOT PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE

 **speedygonzales** : u shouldve seen her when she broke up w/ ollie

 **newandimproved** : That was a very trying time

 **smoakandmirrors** : OH IT WAS TRYING FOR YOU WAS IT

 **newandimproved** : Yes, that’s why I said it

 **smoakandmirrors** : UGGHHHHHH

 **shotthrutheheart:** wow smoak you need to take a breath

 **smoakandmirrors** : UGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **newandimproved** : So _anyway_ , what exactly did you do?

 **shotthrutheheart:** we went to the 22nd century

 **shotthrutheheart:** the mob there was surprisingly similar to todays organization

 **smoakandmirrors** : i guess at least your actions won’t affect the past

 **lancelot** : ehhh probably

 **smoakandmirrors** : PROBABLY????

 **lancelot** : TIME IS COMPLICATED FELICITY

 **smoakandmirrors** : THAT’S A KIND OF TERRIFYING THING FOR YOU TO SAY SARA

 **lancelot** : would u rather i lied to u

 **smoakandmirrors** : maybe?????

 **lancelot** : time travel is super easy and were all definitely rlly good at it and hav never made mistakes ever

 **lancelot** : or committed any crimes or killed ppl or travelled into ur pasts to get embarrassing bby photos

 **speedygonzales** : sorry what

 **smoakandmirrors** : SARA WTF

 **newandimproved** : …I feel like I should probably point out that murder is a crime

 **shotthrutheheart:** but is it tho

 **speedygonzales** : i mean u literally went 2 jail 4 it

 **shotthrutheheart:** lets agree to disagree

 **newandimproved** : So what are you going to do now?

 **newandimproved** : Are you going to stay with the legends?

 **shotthrutheheart** : god no

 **shotthrutheheart** : no offense sara

 **lancelot** : no it was warranted

 **shotthrutheheart** : and i dont know

 **shotthrutheheart** : maybe ill go back to star? or maybe ill just travel around for a bit

 **shotthrutheheart** : i guess i dont really have a place

 **lancelot** : hey so i have a friend thats doing the same thing and maybe u could meet up w/ her

 **shotthrutheheart** : kendra?

 **lancelot** : how do u kno her name????

 **shotthrutheheart** : palmer mentioned it at least six times

 **lancelot** : ha yh thats ray alright

 **smoakandmirrors** : wait so where are you right now then?

 **shotthrutheheart** : not sure

 **shotthrutheheart** : where did you drop me off again?

 **lancelot** : …not sure

 **newandimproved** : _Sara_

 **lancelot:** it was a long 3 days!!!

 **speedygonzales** : dont u any idea????

 **lancelot** : im pretty sure it was in the southern hemisphere

 **shotthrutheheart** : i think im in canada

 **lancelot** : well 1 of us is probably right

 **newandimproved** : Can you track her down Felicity?

 **smoakandmirrors** : i can if she’s in this time period

 **lancelot** : huh

 **smoakandmirrors** : …she is in this time period right?

 **lancelot** : u kno i knew i forgot something

 **speedygonzales** : dude u left her in the 22nd century????

 **shotthrutheheart** : you did???

 **smoakandmirrors** : you didn’t notice????

 **shotthrutheheart** : clearly not felicity!!!!

 **lancelot** : ok stay there were coming to pick u up!!!!

 **smoakandmirrors** : so what was that about being the best people for the job again

 **lancelot** : nobody asked u smoak!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just really love helena bertinelli, i don't know what else to tell you  
> also this is kinda short, so have another i guess


	20. in which life’s (not) a song and there is big news (again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka duet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and alex was there the whole time! it's almost like there's literally no way that alex 'he is compromising the security of my family. guess which one I care about more' danvers would let someone take her comatose little sister to a whole other universe without her!

**puppydanvers** : GUYS GUESS WHERE WE ARE!!!!!!!!!

**lancelot** : r u in 18th century france bc were there rn and it sucks

**puppydanvers** : oh

**puppydanvers** : no we’re not there

**newandimproved** : Please don’t mess with the French revolution

**lancelot** : VIVE LA BOURGEOISIE

**newandimproved** : NO

**lancelot** : relax laur the upper class can choke

**lancelot** : no offense speedy

**speedygonzales** : technically im like the poorest out of all of u rite now so rlly its more rubbing salt in the wound

**lancelot** : whoops srry

**agentdanvers** : so anyway we’re on your earth

**speedygonzales** : where??????????

**irisbest** : they’re with us

**speedygonzales** : omg uve gotta come down here to star city!!!!!!

**irisbest** : I don’t know, we’re trying to show them the best of our earth

**smoakandmirrors** : ouch west

**irisbest** : guys you literally live in murder city

**newandimproved** : It’s gotten a lot better!!!

**thirdtimesthecharm** : are you saying it used to be worse than this???

**smoakandmirrors** : don’t be a traitor dinah

**speedygonzales** : yh a big part of being a star city citizen is loving star despite its flaws

**thirdtimesthecharm** : it has a lot of flaws though

**smoakandmirrors** : dinah!!!

**thirdtimesthecharm** : a lot

**betterthanyou** : pls tell me u guys r taking lots of selfies

**agentdanvers** : of course she is

**puppydanvers** : of course i am!!!

**puppydanvers** : [teamflash.png]

**betterthanyou** : …uve got a good looking team there

**irisbest** : thanks!

**lancelot** : whos that tall guy

**puppydanvers** : that’s j’onn he’s my boss please do not crush on him

**rideordie** : he’s the danvers space dad

**agentdanvers** : no he’s not, he’s our boss???

**betterthanyou** : space dad

**lancelot** : dont worry hes too old for me

**puppydanvers** : thank rao

**lancelot** : who/whats rao

**puppydanvers** : he’s my god?

**puppydanvers** : of my planet’s main religion?

**lancelot** : oh sweet i didnt kno u were religious

**lancelot** : u prob shouldnt mention it next time we meet up unless u want 2 spend like 2 days talking to nate

**lancelot** : he really loves learning abt other cultures

**lancelot** : i mean obvs go ahead if having debates abt religious & cultural stuff is ur jam tho

**puppydanvers** : oh

**lancelot** : ???

**puppydanvers** : I haven’t really told a lot of humans about my faith

**puppydanvers** : I guess I never really know how they’ll react

**lancelot** : look i will mock your character traits + decisions + fashion style + love life + hobbies

**puppydanvers** : thanks???

**lancelot:** but ill never mock ur beliefs

**puppydanvers** : thanks sara

**lancelot** : i may be an asshole but im not 100% a dick

**smoakandmirrors** : !!!!!!

**speedygonzales** : sara

**lancelot** : what

**speedygonzales** : sara did u jst quote guardians of the galaxy

**lancelot** : no

**smoakandmirrors** : sara did you watch a marvel film

**lancelot** : no

**smoakandmirrors** : sara

**lancelot** : no

**smoakandmirrors** : sara

**speedygonzales** : sara

**lancelot** : RAY TRICKED ME HE SAID IT WAS A SPACE COMEDY HE GOT GIDEON TO SKIP THE TITLE CARD

**lancelot** : ITS NOT MY FAULT I DIDNT KNO

**speedygonzales** : TONIGHT WE FEAST FOR SARA LANCE HAS SEEN A SUPERHERO MOVIE!!!!!

**lancelot** : shut it speedy

**speedygonzales** : i cant believe i spent all those years trying to convince you and _palmer_ managed to do it

**smoakandmirrors** : but did you like it???

**lancelot** : can we get back 2 y the danvers r on our earth

**smoakandmirrors** : you totally liked it :D

**puppydanvers** : it’s a long story

**irisbest** : kara and barry got trapped in a musical

**puppydanvers** : maybe not that long

**rideordie** : is that a thing that just happens on your earth or

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I really hope not

**speedygonzales** : …what kind of musical tho

**puppydanvers** : it was kind of west side story??

**puppydanvers** : gangsters and forbidden love

**smoakandmirrors** : were you dating barry??????

**puppydanvers** : no

**puppydanvers** : I wish that had happened instead

**agentdanvers** : really kara???

**puppydanvers** : IT WAS PYSCHOLOGICALLY SCARRING ALEX

**puppydanvers** : *PSYCHOLOGICALLY, SORRY ENGLISH ISN’T MY FIRST LANGUAGE

**newandimproved** : Wow, I wonder what Sara's reason is

**lancelot** : my reason is that im 2 busy saving the fabric of time to use spell check  _laurel_

**puppydanvers** : anyway

**puppydanvers** : no it wasn’t me and barry

**thirdtimesthecharm** : so what happened?

**puppydanvers** : so the guy who put us in that state

**puppydanvers:** aka ~music meister~

**puppydanvers:** yes I know

**puppydanvers:** wanted us to realize how much we should appreciate our loves

**smoakandmirrors** : so barry’s love is definitely iris but what about yours???

**puppydanvers** : it wasn’t just romantic love

**lancelot** : !!!!!!!!!!!!

**lancelot** : R U TELLINGME THAT THE FORBIDDEN LOVE WAS BTWN IRIS AND ALEX????

**irisbest** : yep

**lancelot** : R U TELLING ME THAT U WATCHED IRIS AND ALEX MAKE OUT?????????

**puppydanvers** : THATS MY SISTER PLEASE DONT MAKE ME THINK ABOUT IT AGAIN!!!!!

**lancelot** : U DID WATCH THEM!!!!!!!!!

**puppydanvers** : NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

**rideordie** : wait so which ones iris

**irisbest** : the prettiest one there

**puppydanvers** : thanks iris

**agentdanvers** : thanks iris

**snowqueen** : Thanks Iris

**snowqueen** : Cisco: Thanks Iris

**irisbest** : okay, second prettiest

**snowqueen** : Cisco?

**irisbest** : duh

**smoakandmirrors** : you’re with cisco?

**snowqueen** : He’s in the room

**snowqueen** : He says hi

**lancelot** : hey dude!!!

**newandimproved** : Hi Cisco!!

**smoakandmirrors** : tell him to get his ass over to star because it’s been ages and he can teleport so he’s got no excuse!!!

**snowqueen** : I will

**irisbest** : anyway I’m the one in the gray dress

**irisbest** : and who doesn’t look like every part of my soul is trying to escape

**snowqueen** : I don’t like photos!

**irisbest** : I know cait

**smoakandmirrors** : i think you look good cait

**snowqueen** : Thanks Felicity

**lancelot** : ooooh #fliss and cait sitting in a tree#

**snowqueen** : You’re a child

**lancelot** : technically im prob the oldest person in the chat so

**betterthanyou** : i though u were the younger sister

**lancelot** : timetravel tho

**betterthanyou** : oh yh

**betterthanyou** : weird

**lancelot** : got its perks tho

**newandimproved** : It means that she gets to act like a brat half the time and be really condescending the other half

**lancelot** : exactly

**lancelot** : hey so was it just kara and barry trapped in the musical?

**agentdanvers** : you just want to know if we saw ourselves make out don’t you

**lancelot** : but did u

**irisbest** : no lance, we weren’t there too

**agentdanvers** : thank god

**agentdanvers** : no offense iris, but I don’t think that I could watch that

**irisbest** : it’s fine alex

**irisbest** : though I’m pretty sure that if we were there too then we’d have to pretend to be dating instead of watching ourselves date

**smoakandmirrors** : you don’t seem that bothered about the whole situation

**irisbest** : please

**irisbest** : alt alex was lucky to have alt me

**lancelot** : and modest 2 what a catch

**irisbest** : please lance as if you wouldn’t

**lancelot** : …well u got me there

**irisbest:** well sorry to say I’m off the market

**smoakandmirrors** : wait

**smoakandmirrors** : WIATWAITWAITWAIT

**irisbest** : I’m waiting

**smoakandmirrrors** : ARE YOU AND BARRY BACK TOGETHER????

**smoakandmirrors** : IRIS

**smoakandmirrors** : IRIS ANSWER ME

**irisbest** : YES AND THE ENGAGEMENTS BACK ON

**smoakandmirrors** : AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

**irisbest** : AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

**irisbest** : [runninghometoyou.mp3]

**irisbest** : ^^^the song he proposed to me with

**irisbest** : and it’s an original song

**irisbest:** fyi

**smoakandmirrors** : HE WROTE YOU A SONG!!!!

**speedygonzales** : wow extra much

**newandimproved** : Congrats guys!!

**puppydanvers** : YOU GUYS IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!

**newandimproved** : Really Thea?

**speedygonzales** : they were split 4 like a week lbr

**lancelot** : yh bc its ~barry & iris~

**irisbest** : thanks guys, really loving your support of my relationship

**lancelot** : i nvere said it was a bad thing!!!

**lancelot** : im happy that allen got his head out of his ass and proposed again!!!

**lancelot** : even if it was in the most ridiculously extra way!!!

**rideordie** : i think its adorable

**irisbest** : see that sara? that’s support

**irisbest** : and thanks maggie!

**betterthanyou** : i cant believe how much ur bf has stepped up the dating game

**newandimproved** : Yeah you realize that none of us can get married now?

**newandimproved** : No one’s going to be able to beat that proposal

**lancelot** : but who would marry u anyway

**newandimproved** : Your girlfriend

**speedygonzales** : OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**lancelot** : what th

**lancelot** : what the hell just happened????????


	21. in which thea queen is a genius and lena luthor needs more friends please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka evil family member support group

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two updates over two days yes hello i am a functioning writer  
> also this is now 30k???? somehow????

**puppydanvers** : hey guys, do you mind if I add a friend?

**puppydanvers** : she knows who I am but not about the rest of you?

**puppydanvers** : you’ve met her before actually

**speedygonzales** : wait is it that girl u like

**agentdanvers** : ???

**betterthanyou** : ?!?!?

**puppydanvers** : no???

**puppydanvers** : lena and I are just friends??

**lancelot** : ok but friends or _friends_

**smoakandmirrors** : that’s what i said!!

**puppydanvers** : she really is just a friend!!!

**rideordie** : if you say so

**puppydanvers** : you know you’re making me not want to introduce her to you all now

**newandimproved** : It’s okay Kara, if you want to bring Lena here then I’ll keep the rest of these idiots in line

**newandimproved** : Sorry Maggie, I didn’t mean to call you an idiot

**rideordie** : its cool

**lancelot** : HEY

**smoakandmirrors** : hey!!!!

**puppydanvers** : thanks guys!!

**puppydanvers** : well I have to ask her first

**puppydanvers** : it’s just she hasn’t had the best week

**puppydanvers:** and I figured maybe a few of you would have been in the same situation?

**irisbest** : probably

**irisbest** : it’s not like any of us have ever been in a normal situation

 

**puppydanvers** added **theboss** to the group **missedme???**

 

**puppydanvers** : okay now we’ve gotta wait a few mins for her to stop geeking out

**theboss** : I’m not ‘geeking out’

**puppydanvers** : lena: aLtErNaTe ReAlTiEs KaRa!!! aLtErNaTe ReAlTiEs!!!!

**theboss** : It’s a perfectly reasonable reaction!

**smoakandmirrors** : yeah i reacted the exact same way

**theboss** : Oh hello again Felicity

**theboss** : I guess your problem makes more sense now

**smoakandmirrors** : i mean i don’t have to defuse city destroying bombs regularly or anything

**speedygonzales** : uh yh u totally do

**smoakandmirrors** : yeah i totally do

**snowqueen** : Your city destroying bombs wouldn’t affect our city would they?

**smoakandmirrors** : gee thanks cait for worrying abt the lives of my city and my team

**snowqueen** : You’re welcome

**smoakandmirrors** : and no probably not?

**smoakandmirrors** : i’d call your team if i came across one that would

**snowqueen** : Thanks Felicity

**irisbest** : so kara said you’d had a bad week?

**theboss** : It’s my mother

**puppydanvers** : you don’t have to talk about her if you don’t want to

**theboss** : No, it’s okay Kara

**theboss** : She’s the head of a terrorist organization

**theboss** : She’s basically a supervillain

**speedygonzales** : thats rough buddy

**newandimproved** : _THEA_

**speedygonzales** : no its ok

**speedygonzales** : us children of supervillains gotta stick together and all that

**theboss** : Really?

**speedygonzales** : unfortunately

**smoakandmirrors** : there’s more of us than you’d think really

**agentdanvers** : I guess it transcends earths

**smoakandmirrors** : oh you too?

**agentdanvers:** kind of

**agentdanvers** : it’s complicated

**speedygonzales** : !!!!!!!!!

**speedygonzales** : GUESS WHO JST HAD THE BEST WORST IDEA

**newandimproved** : What do you mean???

**speedygonzales** : it means have fun losers w/ ur normal parental relationships!!!

**speedygonzales** created the group **C.O.S.C.**

 

**speedygonzales** added **smoakandmirrors** , **theboss** , **agentdanvers** and 2 others to the group **C.O.S.C.**

**speedygonzales** : welcome to the 1st meeting of the children of supervillains club!!!

**speedygonzales** : so normally id see if i could get the list w/ every1s names

**speedygonzales:** but weve got supervillains of our own in tonight

**allthatglitters** : please i already know who you all are

**allthatglitters** : wait did you say supervillains plural???

**shotthrutheheart:** hey nerds

**smoakandmirrors** : speedy why

**shotthrutheheart:** well nice to see you too felicity

**allthatglitters** : so who are you exactly

**shotthrutheheart:** helena bertinelli

**shotthrutheheart:** or huntress, if you prefer

**allthatglitters** : _oh_ , pipers friend

**shotthrutheheart:** who???

**allthatglitters** : hartley rathaway

**shotthrutheheart:** oh hart!!!

**shotthrutheheart:** havent seen him in a while, i didnt know he was in this scene too

**shotthrutheheart:** small world huh

**shotthrutheheart:** wait is piper that guy who dresses in all black leather and flirts with the flash

**allthatglitters** : basically

**shotthrutheheart:** yeah i really shouldve realized that was him

**speedygonzales** : so anyway yh if u wanna intro urselves jst kno that huntress is still on probation

**shotthrutheheart:** i helped the legends save time???

**speedygonzales** : yh which is y ur on probation and not in ollies secret island prison

**shotthrutheheart** : in olivers what now

**speedygonzales** : oh wait were missing some1!!!

**speedygonzales** : ok u all introduce urselves while i go get her

**theboss** : But then won’t we have to start introductions all over again when you return?

**speedygonzales** : nah shell already kno who u all r

**agentdanvers** : even us??

**speedygonzales** : shell still kno. ive jst stopped asking how at this point

**speedygonzales** : anyways see u in a moment

**smoakandmirrors** : okay i guess i’ll start?

**smoakandmirrors** : not that i have to introduce myself since you all know who i am

**smoakandmirrors** : not that i mean that in an arrogant way!!

**smoakandmirrors** : just that i brought you all here!!

**smoakandmirrors** : well most of you i guess

**smoakandmirrors** : not that i like the people that i didn’t bring here any less than the people i did!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : well except one

**shotthrutheheart:** love you too babe

**smoakandmirrors** : just i didn’t know you!!!

**allthatglitters** : take a breath smoak

**smoakandmirrors** : oh thank god

**smoakandmirrors** : also i hate you

**shotthrutheheart:** ;) xoxo

**smoakandmirrors** : ugh

**smoakandmirrors** : just someone else talk now please?

**agentdanvers** : I guess I’ll go

**agentdanvers:** alex danvers, and it’s complicated?

**agentdanvers** : my dad works for the xenophobic terrorist organization that kidnapped him a decade ago

**agentdanvers** : so yeah, complicated

**agentdanvers** : anyway, lena?

**theboss** : Thanks Alex

**agentdanvers** : you’re welcome!

**theboss** : I’m Lena, and my mother’s the head of the same organization that kidnapped Alex’s father

**theboss** : I would very much rather not talk about it

**smoakandmirrors** : yeah i’m starting to see a problem with this

**allthatglitters** : lisa snart

**allthatglitters** : or glider

**allthatglitters:** and luckily for you guys i can talk shit about my asshole dad all day long

**allthatglitters:** tho i dont know that he was technically a supervillain

**smoakandmirrors** : not a supervillain in the way that you’re technically not a supervillain

**smoakandmirrors** : or not a supervillain because he never did anything that got innocent people hurt or had any evil plans

**allthatglitters** : oh

**allthatglitters** : i guess he was then

**allthatglitters** : anyway

**shotthrutheheart:** you all already know who i am since i pretty much introduced myself at the start

**shotthrutheheart:** my dad was a mobster

**shotthrutheheart:** now hes dead

**allthatglitters** : did you kill him

**shotthrutheheart:** i wish

**allthatglitters** : oh i know that feeling

**allthatglitters** : what about you other earthers?

**agentdanvers** : no????

**shotthrutheheart** : other earthers????????

**smoakandmirrors** : oh lena and alex are from an alternate universe where aliens are more common

**shotthrutheheart:** aliens????????????????????

**smoakandmirrors** : sara didn’t tell about any of this?

**shotthrutheheart:** sara introduced me to time travel by breaking me out of jail

**shotthrutheheart:** and taking me straight to the 22nd century

**smoakandmirrors** : and then leaving you there

**shotthrutheheart:** yeah ok we dont really need to get back into that

**agentdanvers** : wait, what were you in jail for?

**shotthrutheheart** : honestly who can even remember

**smoakandmirrors** : murder

**smoakandmirrors** : you were in jail for murder

**shotthrutheheart** : i did other things too!!!

**allthatglitters** : i feel like we really should have met a while ago

**shotthrutheheart** : name the time and place and ill be there

**allthatglitters** : ooh a little supervillain retreat?

**allthatglitters:** i mean pipers spoken about you enough times that youre practically an honorary rogue

**theboss** : I’m not the only person here who has a bad feeling about this, right?

**smoakandmirrors** : no you’re not, this absolutely _cannot happen_

**shotthrutheheart** : idk smoak im feeling kinda in the mood for some villainy

**allthatglitters** : yeah i havent done anything big for a while now

**allthatglitters** : and ever since lenny and mick decided to become heroes the rogues have been feeling a little restless

**smoakandmirrors** : and what would caitlin say about you committing crimes???

**allthatglitters** : cait would say ‘well done babe’????

**allthatglitters** : if your partner doesnt support ur career then dump them????

**allthatglitters** : thats like relationship 101 smoak

**smoakandmirrors** : ????????

**speedygonzales** added **nr** to the group **C.O.S.C.**

 

**smoakandmirrors** : _oh thank god_

**speedygonzales** : GUYS

**speedygonzales** : let me introduce yall to THE BEST person ive ever met!!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : ???? wow thanks speedy

**smoakandmirrorss** : GUYS ITS NYSSA

**smoakandmirrors** : …ok you’re maybe right

**nr** : Hello, Felicity Smoak, M.I.T. Class of '09

**smoakandmirrors** : hello, nyssa, daughter of ra's al ghul, heir to the demon

**speedygonzales** : do u 2 really have to do that every time

**nr:** Yes

**smoakandmirrors** : we really do

**speedygonzales** : so anyway this is nyssa

**agentdanvers** : you’re sara’s ex right?

**nr** : Yes, though technically we never broke up

**smoakandmirrors** : i mean, she died

**smoakandmirrors** : i get where you’re coming from, but she died

**agentdanvers** : were you really an assassin???

**theboss** : What???

**nr:** I was, yes

**nr** : I was the head of the League of Assassins, before I disbanded it

**speedygonzales** : oh wait i guess i can tell u abt my biodad now

**speedygonzales** : so he used to be part of the league and then he blew up most of starling city

**shotthrutheheart** : that was your dad???

**speedygonzales** : yup and also my mom and kinda my dad

**speedygonzales** : its complicated

**speedygonzales** : anyway then we all thought he was dead but he wasn’t

**speedygonzales:** and he came back to train me and then he kind of killed sara

**smoakandmirrors** : not kind of

**speedygonzales** : u kno what i meant

**nr** : Sara’s death was on his hands, Thea, not yours

**speedygonzales** : yh i kno

**speedygonzales** : and he was the head of the league after nyssas dad was

**nr** : After your brother killed him

**speedygonzales** : im sorry

**nr** : It wasn’t an accusation, it needed to be done

**speedygonzales** : but still

**nr** : He was a very bad, very ruthless man and the world is a lot better without him in it

**speedygonzales** : he was still ur dad tho

**nr** : In name only

**nr** : He was never very fatherly

**speedygonzales** : so anyway did you all finish intros or

**smoakandmirrors:** oh wait i never got round to telling you all about my dad did i?

**speedygonzales** : theyre not missing much ur dads prob the lamest supervillain out there tbh

**smoakandmirrors** : maybe but still HEY

**speedygonzales** : no offense felicity but i mean hes not really a supervillain is he

**smoakandmirrors** : he is!!

**smoakandmirrors** : he has a codename!!

**speedygonzales** : ur kidding right?????

**smoakandmirrors** : WELL HE DOES!!!!

**speedygonzales** : ur dad has the absolutely worst supervillain name i have ever heard

**speedygonzales** : worse than captain cold

**allthatglitters** : ha fair

**speedygonzales** : worse than golden glider

**allthatglitters** : woah hey watch your mouth!!!!!!

**allthatglitters** : calling yourself speedy and you’re not even a speedster!!!!

**speedygonzales** : its _even_ worse than peekaboo

**agentdanvers** : that’s not a name

**allthatglitters** : shes my roommate

**agentdanvers** : oh. that’s a name

**allthatglitters** : and i doubt cisco would like you dissing his codenames

**speedygonzales** : ehh hell get over it

**shotthrutheheart:** ok now ive got to know what smoaks dads called

**speedygonzales** : well go on then felicity

**smoakandmirrors** : well i don’t want to say it now

**speedygonzales** : hmmm i wonder y

**nr:** He’s called the Calculator

**agentdanvers** : _no_

**theboss** : Really?

**shotthrutheheart:** thats _terrible_ and believe me ive seen some ridiculously bad names in iron heights

**smoakandmirrors** : how do you even know that????

**nr:** Laurel told me

**agentdanvers** : that is the worst name I’ve ever heard and my sister is literally called _supergirl_

**smoakandmirrors** : hey!!! people without codenames don’t get to diss people with them!!

**agentdanvers** : but people with alien guns get to diss whoever they like

**smoakandmirrors** : …goddamn

**smoakandmirrors** : well ok then

**agentdanver** : hey so it just parents we’re talking about or are other family members welcome?

**speedygonzales** : yh sure, y u got other evil family members???

**agentdanvers** : oh no it’s not for me

**agentdanvers** : give me a second

**speedygonzales** : i mean technically nyssas here twice so

**allthatglitters** : how so?

**nr** : I’m guessing that you’re talking about Talia

**speedygonzales** : well she did kidnap ollie and train prometheus

**nr** : I apologise for that

**speedygonzales** : woah hey no its not ur fault what ur sister does

**smoakandmirrors** : how are you dealing with that anyway?

**nr** : With extreme violence

**smoakandmirrors** : no i meant like emotionally

**nr** : Violence can be an emotion

**smoakandmirrors** : oh

**smoakandmirrors:** okay then

**theboss** : I guess at least it’s not just me then

**speedygonzales** : u got an evil sister 2???

**theboss** : Brother

**theboss** : He’s currently in jail for mass murder

**theboss** : And he’s tried to kill me between three and six times

**smoakandmirrors** : between??

**theboss** : He and my mother use similar tactics, so I can’t always tell who’s behind the attack

**speedygonzales** : im sorry lena

**theboss** : It’s fine, I wish I wasn’t used to it, but I am

**allthatglitters** : i guess lena and nyssa win then

**smoakandmirrors** : i’m 100% sure that’s not how that works

**shotthrutheheart** : if you want to talk about winning, my entire dad’s side of the family are in the mob

**shotthrutheheart** : just saying

**agentdanvers** : okay, I’m back

**agentdanvers** : kara didn’t want to be here today, but she said it was okay to talk about her

**agentdanvers** : though she might join later?

**agentdanvers** : and actually I maybe know some other people who could relate to this?

**speedygonzales** : yh that’s ok

**smoakandmirrors** : the more the merrier

**smoakandmirrors** : or the more the more miserable, i guess

**speedygonzales** : so y wud kara b here?

**agentdanvers** : her uncle

**agentdanvers:** he put the whole of national city under mind control and tried to do the same thing to the whole earth

**speedygonzales** : wow so that kinda puts everything my dad did into perspective

**smoakandmirrors** : didn’t your dad try to rewrite reality

**speedygonzales** : oh yh nm

**agentdanvers** : sorry he did what

**speedygonzales** : dont worry the legends fixed it!!!

**agentdanvers** : _how would that make me worry less_

**agentdanvers:** what if they didn’t put things back the way they were????

**agentdanvers:** how would we know???

**smoakandmirrors** : what do you think about the legends

**agentdanvers** : ????

**agentdanvers** : I think they’re irresponsible and kind of terrifying???

**smoakandmirrors** : exactly

**smoakandmirrors** : if they’d changed reality then you’d think they were the best people ever

**smoakandmirrors** : there’d be literal statues built in their honor

**allthatglitters** : good point but there is literally a statue that was built in micks honor

**smoakandmirrors** : ok but there’d be statues of all of them and also probably countries named after them

**allthatglitters** : yeah, youre right

**nr:** I assume that Mr Merlyn was properly dealt with after they fixed his meddling?

**speedygonzales** : yh they kicked his ass and then wiped his memories

**speedygonzales** : and ur totally gonna call him mister for the rest of his life rnt u

**nr:** He has no other title

**speedygonzales** : i love u

**nr:** Thank you Thea

**speedygonzales** : ok if u dont get back w/ sara can u marry laurel pls i need u 2 b around more

**nr:** I don’t think so

**nr:** I doubt that I’d be able to have a relationship with Laurel after having one with Sara

**nr:** I wouldn’t want to copy any action that your brother has made

**speedygonzales** : _I LOVE U_

**nr:** Besides, why would I pursue Laurel when she already has an admirer?

**smoakandmirrors** : wait she does???? who????

**nr:** Do I need to answer that?

**speedygonzales** : nope

**smoakandmirrors** : ???????

**smoakandmirrors** : yes???????

**smoakandmirrors** : thea what aren’t you telling me???

**speedygonzales** : hey so what else should we talk abt

**smoakandmirrors** : THEA

**speedygonzales** : so whats the weather like where u guys r

**smoakandmirrors** : GUYS SERIOUSLY

**nr:** Laurel is a very private person. I doubt that she’d wish for us to speculate on her romantic prospects

**smoakandmirrors** : oh

**smoakandmirrors** : that is true

**smoakandmirrors** : also ‘romantic prospects’ is adorable

**nr:** No it isn’t

**speedygonzales** : it is a little bit

**allthatglitters** : kind of is

**allthatglitters** : speaking of, does she look adorable too???

**speedygonzales** : i got some blurry pics that make her look like a cryptid

**speedygonzales** : i mean, more than she already is

**nr:** Try it and see what happens

**speedygonzales** : oh boy oh boy i havent been tempted to make such a bad decision in such a long time

**nr:** Thea

**speedygonzales** : hmmmmmmmmm

**smoakandmirrors** : i already have an outfit picked out for your funeral

**nr:** I hope you mean your outfit. An outfit for Thea would be wasted

**nr:** You would never find the body

**speedygonzales** : i love that i can hear ur exact tone of voice in my head

**speedygonzales** : ohhh wait!!!

**speedygonzales:** felicity u spend enough time w/ laurel uve got to have at least 1 good pic of nyssa

**smoakandmirrors** : yes but also i like my appendages attached to my body

**nr:** Clever girl

**smoakandmirrors** : however

**nr:** What?

**speedygonzales** : what

**speedygonzales** : what felicity dont leave me in suspense here

**smoakandmirrors:** however i do have a video of nyssa sparring with laurel

**smoakandmirrors** : guys?

**smoakandmirrors** : guys??????

**speedygonzales** : ok so

**speedygonzales:** let me preface this w/ the fact

**speedygonzales** : that i def do not and will not ever see laurel or nyssa as anything more than sisters 2 me

**speedygonzales** : but also i would literally give u my 1st born for that vid

**shotthrutheheart:** i am never having kids but i would steal a firstborn for that vid

**allthatglitters** : lennys the firstborn and you can have him

**smoakandmirrors** : wow so that was mildly terrifying

**speedygonzales** : come on smoak u kno u want 2

**smoakandmirrors** : wait

**speedygonzales** : _felicity_

**smoakandmirrors** : please say nice things at my funeral

**speedygonzales** : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : [nandl.3gp]

**smoakandmirrors** : well?

**shotthrutheheart:** shush smoak were watching it

**smoakandmirrors** : well okay then

**smoakandmirrors** : guess i’ll just wait here

**allthatglitters** : _well that was an experience_

**speedygonzales** : oh im so showing that to sin her head would explode

**speedygonzales** : question: how many times have u watched this???

**smoakandmirrors** : like twice

**shotthrutheheart:** well thats a lie

**allthatglitters** : yeah that isnt a twice kind of video

**smoakandmirrors** : guys that’s my friend!!!!

**nr:** And me

**smoakandmirrors** : and nyssa!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : no offense nyssa

**nr:** None taken

**nr:** It is a very well filmed video

**smoakandmirrors** : so you’re not going to kill me???

**nr:** I didn’t say that

**speedygonzales:** do u think u broke the other earthers???

**theboss** : No I’m not broke

**speedygonzales** : ha millionaire joke!!!!

**speedygonzales** : but also seriously

**theboss** : I’m fine thanks

**agentdanvers** : but aslo seriously I’m fine

**speedygonzales** : _why agent danvers was that a typo_

**agentdanvers** : sometimes people make mistakes thea!!!

**theboss** : But you don’t tend to

**agentdanvers** : lena!!

**speedygonzales** : congrats nyssa u broke a government agent

**nr** : She wouldn’t be the first

**allthatglitters** : …damn

**shotthrutheheart:** yeah i can see what lance sees in her

**agentdanvers** : you didn’t break me!!!

**shotthrutheheart:** is she the only one in the room?

**speedygonzales** : ohhhh i knew it was a good idea to bring u in

**shotthrutheheart:** well obviously

**agentdanvers** : for the record, I _am_ the only one in the room

**speedygonzales** : give me a sec, let me confirm

**agentdanvers** : seriously???

**speedygonzales** : ok so the other other earthers confirm

**agentdanvers** : well I could’ve told you that

**agentdanvers** : oh wait, I _did_

**speedygonzales** : also im not sure if laurel is v smug or v embarrassed

**smoakandmirrors** : you told her????

**speedygonzales** : prob a mix tbh

**speedygonzales** : yh of course i did

**speedygonzales:** id expect her to bring this up again

**smoakandmirrors** : thanks speedy

**speedygonzales** : repeatedly

**smoakandmirrors** : THANKS SPEEDY

**speedygonzales** : also im p sure that the next time were ina group together

**speedygonzales:** saras gonna flood the chat w/ vids of her sparring

**speedygonzales** : so ur welcome u useless gay idiots

**smoakandmirrors** : HEY

**speedygonzales** : *useless gay and bi idiots

**smoakandmirrors** : i was objecting more to the useless but thanks also

**speedygonzales** : oooh maybe we should make this a thing????

**speedygonzales** : like we spend fridays trading vids of hot people sparring???

**speedygonzales** : but maybe next time not some1 i see as a sister????

**allthatglitters** : im down for that

**agentdanvers** : don’t you have a girlfriend?

**allthatglitters** : yeah who else do think id be watching them with???

**smoakandmirrors** : your relationship is surprisingly healthy?

**allthatglitters** : well that was what i was aiming for

**speedygonzales** : do u think we should share this w/ the main group

**speedygonzales** : or maybe this should be our reward 4 having supervillain parents?

**theboss** : I don’t think that’s how it works

**shotthrutheheart:** it should be tho

**speedygonzales:** bc felicity i kno u hav complete control over the cameras and can def hook us up w/ team arrow vids

**smoakandmirrors** : i guess

**speedygonzales** : and ive got an inside man on the waverider

**smoakandmirrors:** i’m not sure that sara would like you corrupting jax

**speedygonzales** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**speedygonzales** : can u other earthers get vids of ur superheroes

**theboss** : I don’t think we have as many as your earth does

**speedygonzales** : but can u get vids of them tho

**agentdanvers** : I guess lucy probably could?

**speedygonzales** : _awesome_

**speedygonzales** : team flash vids might be a problem tho

**smoakandmirrors** : wally isn’t under your thumb?

**speedygonzales** : not yet, hes more scared of iris than he is of me

**speedygonzales** : wait snart could you get vids from star labs???????

**allthatglitters** : of course

**allthatglitters** : im offended you had to ask

**speedygonzales** : so thats sorted then

**speedygonzales** : every friday we commiserate about our asshole parents/other family members and swap vids of hot ppl fighting

**theboss** : Why Fridays?

**speedygonzales** : why not

**speedygonzales** : WAIT NO SATURDAYS

**smoakandmirrors:** you’ve just thought of an alliterative name haven’t you

 

**speedygonzales** changed the group name to **SEXYSUPERHEROSPARRINGSATURDAYS**

 

**shotthrutheheart:** NICE

**speedygonzales** : yes i am in fact a genius

**speedygonzales** : felicity smoak who???

**smoakandmirrors** : literally right here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was originally a lot shorter and more serious, but then i remembered what malcolm did to nyssa in doomworld, and i was like screw you malcolm i'm making it gayer ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> also nyssa has finally turned up! but hasn't spoken to sara yet whoops. i feel like they need a whole conversation to themselves  
> also also, i guess oliver was kidnapped offscreen? sorry oliver


	22. in which they're all pretty terrible at this and kendra saunders is not a normal person, thank you very much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka pt2 of matchmaking, superhero style

**lancelot** : ok so 2 things

**lancelot** : no.1: kara ur pretty useless no offence

**puppydanvers** : how could I not be offended at that???

**lancelot** : so im gonna see if danvers 2 is any better

**lancelot** added **agentdanvers** to **letsgetdowntobusiness**

 

**agentdanvers** : what’s going on?

**lancelot** : were hooking up fliss and laurel!!!

**agentdanvers** : you know I have a job, right? I work for the government?

**lancelot** : and i work for the good of all humanity but do u see me complaining?????

**puppydanvers** : hey!!!

**lancelot** : *the good of all humanity and alienity

**puppydanvers** : I don’t think that’s a word but thanks anyway!!

**agentdanvers** : is this why you were reacting so strongly when laurel asked you whether you liked felicity?

**irisbest** : pretty much. that and she’s an idiot

**lancelot** : fair

**speedygonzales** : so whats ur 2nd thing

**lancelot:** ok no.2: were all pretty terrible at this so i decided to in bring the big guns

**puppydanvers** : I thought that I was the big guns!!!

**lancelot** : yh in fighting, but not in rship stuff

**agentdanvers** : she’s got a point

**puppydanvers** : thanks alex

**lancelot** : b e h o l d

 

**lancelot** added **birb** to the group **letsgetdowntobusiness**

 

**birb:** hello?

**lancelot** : KENDRA!!!!

**birb:** SARA???

**lancelot** : KENDRA!!!!!!!!

**birb:** SARA???????

**lancelot** : KENDRA!!!!!!!!!

**birb:** SARA???????????

**irisbest** : guys really

**lancelot** : KENDRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**lancelot** : sorry u kno i gotta have the last word

**birb:** yeah I know

**lancelot** : k so every1 this is kendra saunders aka my soulmate

**speedygonzales** : doesnt kendra already have a soulmate????

**lancelot** : yes and its me

**agentdanvers** : I thought your soulmate was felicity

**lancelot** : nah fliss is my best friend but like in a way that transcends the best friend title

**irisbest** : I'm guessing because felicity said that ray is her best friend

**lancelot** : and kendras my soulmate

**agentdanvers** : do you have titles for all of your friends???

**lancelot** : obvs???

**lancelot** : like speedys my bro

**speedygonzales** : thanks bro!!!

**lancelot** : ur welcome bro!!!!!

**lancelot** : and jaxs my son

**birb:** I thought that Jax was Rip’s protege

**lancelot** : he was but then rip left and finders keepers you kno

**birb:** I don’t think it works like that

**lancelot** : and ud be so proud of jax and firestorm theyre really getting better

**lancelot** : wow ok so uve missed a lot now i thnk abt it

**birb:** like what?

**lancelot** : ok so alternate universes exist and kara and alex are from a different universe

**puppydanvers** : hi!! :D

**agentdanvers** : hey

**birb:** oh

**birb:** hello

**lancelot** : alos so do aliens and there was an alien invasion and we all teamed up to fite them off

**lancelot** : and i wouldve called u but i didnt kno where u were

**birb:** you could’ve gone into the future and found me when I came back to society

**lancelot** : …yep totally couldve done that

**lancelot** : u kno u took like 70% of the teams common sense when u left

**birb:** yeah I figured

**lancelot** : oh and also karas an alien

**puppydanvers** : that’s me btw!!!

**birb:** an alien???

**puppydanvers** : yep :D I’m kryptonian

**birb:** oh

**lancelot** : and we picked up 2 new team members and we maybe broke time but we fixed it again

**agentdanvers** : _you broke time????_

**lancelot** : _but we fixed it again_ rnt secret agents meant to have good reading skills

**lancelot** : and rips left to ‘find himself’ or something even tho theres literally nowhere he could go bc we kinda blew up all his friends???

**birb:** well, not all of his friends

**lancelot** : wait

**lancelot:** is he w/u???

**birb:** not right now, he’s gone fishing with Carter

**lancelot** : ‘gone fishing’??????????????

**birb:** yes?

**lancelot** : KENDRA SHAYARA SAUNDERS

**birb:** that’s not how it’s spelt

**birb:** and it’s not my middle name either

**lancelot** : HAVE U ND CARTER TURNED INTO NORMAL PEOPLE?????

**lancelot:** and _excuse me_ for not being able to type hieroglyphs

**birb** : no???

**birb:** we’re still part bird remember???

**puppydanvers** : ????

**lancelot** : oh yh that reminds me how much percent bird r u????

**birb:** why?

**puppydanvers** : ????????????????

**lancelot** : bc amaya can kinda tlk to birds so i wanna kno what happens when she meets u

**lancelot** : amaya and nate r the new teammembers btw

**lancelot** : nates got metal skin and amaya is like some kind of animal whisperer???

**lancelot** : this 1 time she connected to a t rex and i missed it bc i was in rips mind un eviling him

**lancelot** : apparently ray cried

**birb:** that does sound like Ray

**agentdanvers** : a) your life is ridiculous

**lancelot** : thank

**agentdanvers:** b) how can somebody be part bird

**lancelot** : kendras a winged goddess

**birb:** demigoddess

**lancelot** : yh but ur a full goddess to me

**birb:** oh I’ve missed you

**puppydanvers** : demigoddess?????????

**irisbest** : just go with it

**speedygonzales** : yh sara tried to explain it to me once and it went completely over my head

**irisbest** : I just try not to think about it

**lancelot** : west rnt u fighting the god of speed

**irisbest** : that’s what he _calls_ himself

**irisbest** : he’s just another meta

**irisbest** : no offence cait

**snowqueen** : None taken

**birb:** you’re a meta? when did that happen??

**snowqueen** : Long story

**agentdanvers** : okay so caitlin, jesse, barry, cisco and dinah are metas but kendra isn’t?

**birb:** nope, just a goddess

**speedygonzales** : NoPe JuSt A gOdDeSs

**birb:** yeah yeah

**birb:** and who are Dinah and Jesse?

**lancelot** : jesses a speedster from an alt earth but not the same 1 that alex and kara are from

**lancelot** : her earths kinda steampunk i think??? also shes a giant nerd and shes friends w/ jax

**lancelot** : dinahs the new black canary

**lancelot** : the team say shes not terrible at it but i havent seen her in action yet so

**speedygonzales** : shes great ud love her!!!

**lancelot** : man we rlly need 2 hav a canary meet up

**lancelot** : omg i completely forgot!!!!!

**lancelot** : laurels alive!!!!

**birb:** what???????

**birb:** when did that happen???????

**lancelot** : long story

**lancelot** : but it was bc of me!!!!

**lancelot** : im guessing rip told u lens alive??

**lancelot** : also bc of me!!!!

**lancelot:** (and mick i guess)

**birb:** he did yeah, he sounded happy about it

**lancelot** : rip had an emotion????

**birb:** Rip has emotions

**lancelot** : he has maybe 2

**lancelot:** 3 on a good day

**birb:** so _anyway_ , is this a social call or is there an emergency?

**lancelot** : both

**snowqueen** : Not both

**lancelot:** both

**lancelot** : ok so were trying to get fliss and my sis to hook up

**birb:** oh, okay

**lancelot** : oooh new idea!!!!!

 

**lancelot** changed the group name to **operationflisster**

 

**lancelot:** bc im tryna make fliss my sis

**irisbest** : isn’t it kind of weird that you made out with her then?

**birb:** you made out with Felicity???

**speedygonzales** : iris

**lancelot** : iris

**lancelot** : do u rlly want to go there iris

**lancelot** : do u rlly

**lancelot** : and yes but we decided wed be better off as friends _as you well know west_

**snowqueen** : The operation name only really applies to you though

**lancelot** : thought u didnt rlly care abt this???

**snowqueen** : I didn’t at first but I’m invested now

**lancelot** : ugh fine

 

**lancelot** changed the group name to **operatoinlaugh**

**speedygonzales** : laugh???

**lancelot** : laurel and fliss = laf = laugh

**speedygonzales** : _nice_

**birb:** I see you haven’t stopped loving your elaborate mission names

**lancelot** : of course not its a part of me

**lancelot** : dont tell ray or nate tho, i like yelling at them for their stupid names

 

**irisbest** changed the group name to **operationlaugh**

 

**lancelot** : there was literally no need u all knew what it meant

**birb:** I’m starting to understand why you haven’t gotten very far with this

**lancelot** : yes bc iris is the worst, i knew it was a good idea to call u in

**birb:** it’s not that I don’t want to help but I think what you really need is someone who knows Laurel and Felicity better?

**birb:** I like them, but I’ve only really met them a few times?

**lancelot** : Oh No

**birb:** Sara?

**lancelot** : ....we need laurels best friend

**speedygonzales** : o m g

**birb:** what?

**puppydanvers** : _oh_

**birb:** seriously what??

**lancelot** : laurels best friend is nyssa

**birb:** your ex???

**lancelot** : yep

**irisbest** : ouch

**lancelot** : yep

**speedygonzales** : didnt u tell her u were going timetravelling like 2 yrs ago an then u never spoke 2 her again

**lancelot** : yEP

**puppydanvers** : maybe it won’t be that bad?

**lancelot** : i kno nys, shell be pissed at me but in a v passive aggressive way

**lancelot** : like so passive aggressive that u prob wont even notice

**lancelot** : but believe me i will

**speedygonzales** : idk, i didnt think she was that much of a subtle person

**lancelot** : theres subtle nd then theres hiding 2 yrs worth of rage under a blank expression which do u think is worse

**birb:** she didn’t sound that bad, from what you told me of her

**speedygonzales** : …u tlked abt her?

**lancelot** : sometimes

**birb:** a lot of times

**birb:** mostly while drunk

**lancelot** : oKAY I DNOT THINK WE NEED TO STAY ON THIS SUBJECT ANYMORE TYVM

**irisbest** : I THINK WE DO

**lancelot** : et tu west

**irisbest** : are you kidding me you mock me all the time???

**irisbest** : you mocked me literally 2 minutes ago???

**lancelot** : but do i mock u abt ur relationships tho???

**irisbest** : yes????????

**irisbest** : you once teamed up with an alternate version of yourself to mock my boyfriend

**lancelot** : and i stand by that action

**birb:** you met alternate versions of yourselves????

**lancelot** : yh but it turned out ok

**irisbest** : didn’t time literally break

**lancelot** : yh but it turned out ok

**birb:** how long has it been since I left?

**lancelot** : idk approx a year????

**lancelot** : y

**birb:** I just thought you guys might have got better at it, that’s all

**speedygonzales** : damn kendra!!!

**lancelot** : i cannot believe...... after all the hyping up i did 4 u........ u disrespect me & my fam like that

**agentdanvers** : I mean, you’re kind of terrible

**irisbest** : KIND OF???????

**lancelot** : guys y

**speedygonzales** : yh dude i love u but u r not so good at the whole time travel thing

**lancelot** : yh but not as bad as team flash

**irisbest** : but it isn’t our job!!!

**lancelot** : then stop doing it then!!!!!

**irisbest** : but if you guys were better at your job maybe we wouldn’t have to!!!!!!!!

**lancelot** : woah woah woah dont blame me 4 ur bf not being able to control his feet ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**snowqueen** : Sara, can I ask something?

**lancelot** : sure y not its not like anyone is pulling their punches

**snowqueen** : Nyssa’s Laurel’s best friend, right?

**lancelot** : i think thats been established yes

**snowqueen** : And you haven’t spoken to her in two years?

**lancelot** : I THINK TAHTS BEEN ESTABLISHED YES

**snowqueen** : So I’m guessing that the only person who has Nyssa’s number is Laurel?

**birb:** _oh_

**irisbest** : oh my god

**speedygonzales** : !!!!!!!!!!!!!

**speedygonzales** : sara: [ivemadeahugemistake.gif]

**puppydanvers** : oh no!!!

**lancelot** : well ths was a fun idea but operations over everybody go home

**irisbest** : come on lance, take one for the team

**lancelot:** but i dont want to

**irisbest** : you want laurel and felicity to get together?

**lancelot** : ugh yes

**irisbest** : and you think that nyssa can help?

**lancelot** : UGH YES

**irisbest** : then go and talk to her

**lancelot:** UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**lancelot** : ur such a big sister

**irisbest** : thanks :)

**lancelot** : ok but how bc i dont lie to laurel

**speedygonzales** : ??????????

**speedygonzales** : _?????????????_

**lancelot: ...** anymore

**puppydanvers** : just stick to a story but make sure you leave enough gaps that she can fill them in with reasonable details

**puppydanvers** : people find it easier to believe things when they can change the story themselves

**lancelot** : gotta admit was not expecting that from u

**speedygonzales** : rnt u like the actual embodiment of truth and justice and the american way

**puppydanvers** : apart from the fact that I’m not actually american

**puppydanvers** : you all remember that I’m not actually human right?

**puppydanvers:** I’ve been living here for about a dozen years and the alien amnesty act was only passed like a year ago

**puppydanvers** : I can’t exactly just tell people who I am

**puppydanvers** : I’m a surprisingly good liar :D

**agentdanvers** : she really isn’t

**puppydanvers** : people don’t realize that I’m supergirl

**agentdanvers** : they really do

**lancelot** : this sounds like something u guys hav argued abt a lot huh

**lancelot** : maybe u should air it out w/ us

**puppydanvers** : hey!! don’t use me and alex to distract yourself from your problems!!

**lancelot** : UGHHHHHHHHH

**lancelot** : oh no guys

**irisbest** : ...what

**lancelot** : ok so sorry but it turns out that the timelines doing a thing and ive gotta go fix it

**irisbest** : oh I bet it is

**lancelot** : well i cant control the timeline west

**agentdanvers** : isn’t that literally your job

**snowqueen** : Then maybe we should make a plan for next time so you know what to do

**lancelot** : or maybe we shouldnt

**irisbest** : _excellent_ idea dr snow

**snowqueen** : Thank you Miss West

**lancelot** : i hate u all

**irisbest** : well then you could just ask her now and get it over with?

**lancelot** : _i hate u all_

**lancelot** : ughhh

**lancelot** : fine but im not texting nyssa straight after bc i rlly do have an emergency

**lancelot** : and if laurel suspects anything then im blaming west

**irisbest** : I don’t think she’d believe that it’s my fault

**lancelot** : if laurel suspects anything then im blaming speedy

**speedygonzales** : what did i do???

**lancelot** : ur the only person here who shed believ did something wrong

**speedygonzales** : blame someone whos not here then!!!

**lancelot** : hmmmmmm ray

**birb:** don’t blame Ray!!

**lancelot** : cant blame ray cant use the danvers to distract myself from my problems what can i do???

**irisbest** : be a nice person that doesn’t use other people for your own means????

**lancelot** : plausible suggestions only pls

**irisbest** : you keep reminding us that you’re this bigshot time captain so go and suck it up and talk to your big sister

**lancelot** : oh

**lancelot** : ok

 

**lancelot** has left the group

 

**irisbest** : I didn’t think that was actually going to work?

**speedygonzales** : nah saras weak point has always been her ego

**birb:** I guess at least some things haven’t changed

**agentdanvers** : thea?

**speedygonzales:** yh?

**agentdanvers:** don’t you already have nyssa’s number? didn't you get it from laurel?

**speedygonzales** : oh wow it completely slipped my mind

**speedygonzales:** oh well i guess theres nothing we can do what a shame

**speedygonzales** : ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**irisbest** : ...damn queen, that’s cold

 

**lancelot** created the group **laur!!!!!**

**lancelot** added **newandimproved** to the group **laur!!!!**

 

**lancelot** : hey sis i love u

**newandimproved** : What do you want

**lancelot** : to say hello to my sister who i love?

**newandimproved** : Try again

**lancelot** : nyssas number

**newandimproved** : Why???

**lancelot** : cant tell u

**newandimproved** : _Why???_

**lancelot** : _cant tell u_

**lancelot** : but nothing illegal tho

**newandimproved** : The fact that you had to specify that makes me trust you less

**lancelot** : please

**newandimproved** : Don’t think that I’m going to just because you actually took the time to spell the word please

**lancelot** : I know that proper grammar is one of your weaknesses

**newandimproved** : ...not fair, Sara

**lancelot** : _Please_

**newandimproved** : Fine

**lancelot** : yes!!!

**newandimproved** : Nobody’s going to get hurt are they?

**lancelot** : bye sis love u!!!

**newandimproved** : I hope you and Thea aren’t up to something bad

**lancelot** : ??????

**newandimproved** : Thea asked for Nyssa’s number the other day? I figured this was related?

**newandimproved** : Sara???

**lancelot** : _ohhhh its gonna be related to her murder_

**newandimproved** : ????

 

**lancelot** has left the group

 

**lancelot** joined the group **operationlaugh**

 

**lancelot** : SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDY

**speedygonzales** : whoops

**lancelot** : u best be making ur goodbyes queen!!!!!!!

**speedygonzales** : GOODBYE

 

**speedygonzales** has left the group

 

**lancelot** has left the group

 

**birb** : ...so is this how these chats normally go?

**snowqueen** : Actually I think we got more done than we did last time

**agentdanvers** : HOW????


	23. in which lena luthor is confused a lot and cynthia reynolds is only here reluctantly, really

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka abra kadabra

**snowqueen** added **goodvibrations** to the group **missedme???**

 

 **snowqueen** : We should probably change that name

 **smoakandmirrors** : cisco not that it’s not good to speak to you but why are you here???

 **goodvibrations** : I’m not Cisco

 **snowqueen:** Guys, this is Cynthia, she’s using Cisco’s phone

 **goodvibrations** : Cindy

 **snowqueen** : Right, sorry

 **irisbest** : and why is she here

 **speedygonzales** : yh what she said but w/ less veiled passive aggressiveness

 **irisbest** : sorry, I didn’t mean that

 **goodvibrations** : no I get it

 **snowqueen** : She’s here because this is a group for female superheroes and she’s a female superhero

 **goodvibrations** : I’m really not

 **irisbest** : I mean, you kind of are?

 **irisbest** : you helped us out last time with the meta gorillas

 **theboss** : The what??

 **irisbest** : _don’t even start you two_

 **speedygonzales** : godamnit iris!!!!

 **puppydanvers** : just don’t think about it

 **puppydanvers** : their world has a weird number of animal related supervillains??

 **goodvibrations** : I only helped because Cisco wouldn’t stop bugging me

 **irisbest** : still

 **smoakandmirrors** : !!!!!!!!

 **goodvibrations** : what

 **smoakandmirrors** : you’re that girl that cisco likes!!!!

 **goodvibrations** : I suppose

 **irisbest** : you suppose????????????

 **snowqueen** : Cisco is already planning the wedding

 **lancelot:** wait what since when does cisco have a new gf????

 **goddvibrations** : we’re not dating

 **irisbest** : you didn’t know?

 **lancelot** : no???

 **smoakandmirrors** : really?? ray knows and he isn’t usually quiet about this kind of thing

 **goodvibrations** : we’re still not dating

 **smoakandmirrors** : did you come back to e1 to see cisco????

 **goodvibrations** : no

 **smoakandmirrors** : aw

 **goodvibrations:** I’m here tracking a dangerous fugitive

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : you’re a cop?

 **irisbest** : more like an interdimensional bounty hunter

 **rideordie** : close enough

 **speedygonzales** : if by close enough u mean way _way_ awesomer then yh

 **newandimproved** : Do you take people you catch straight to jail or to court?

 **irisbest** : Oh Boy

 **newandimproved** : ?????

 **irisbest** : so the last time she was here she came to take hr back to be executed because he broke a law

 **goodvibrations** : not just _a_ law, the most important law on our earth

 **irisbest:** and cisco had to appeal using trial by combat, so I’m guessing courts probably aren’t that big there

 **newandimproved** : What??????

 **goodvibrations** : that was still a stupid thing to do

 **irisbest** : it was a brave thing to do

 **goodvibrations** : stupidly brave

 **irisbest** : yeah well that’s cisco

 **goodvibrations:** and why what happens on your earth?

 **newandimproved** : Okay so, here, or at least in our country

 **newandimproved** : Or at least what should happen here

 **newandimproved** : People get a trial first?

 **newandimproved** : And they get a lawyer whose job is to convince the judge and jury that they’re innocent

 **newandimproved** : And the city has a lawyer whose job is to convince the judge and jury that they’re guilty

 **newandimproved** : And then the jury decides whether the person is innocent or not

 **newandimproved:** And if they’re found guilty then the judge decides the punishment, which is usually jail time

 **goodvibrations** : but what happens if the person is guilty but their lawyer is convincing enough that they’re let free?

 **speedygonzales** : laurel beats them up

 **newandimproved** : I mean, I used to

 **newandimproved** : I’m mostly retired nowadays

 **speedygonzales** : pls like we dont kno abt the muggers that keep being left tied up outside the police station

 **newandimproved** : You don’t know that that’s me

 **smoakandmirrors** : well it’s not us

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : and if it was vigilante then they’d be dead

 **newandimproved** : Maybe it’s someone else

 **smoakandmirrors** : laurel we know it’s you

 **betterthanyou** : _ur not seriously telling me u guys have a vigilante called vigilante_

 **irisbest** : yeah they do

 **betterthanyou** : guys

 **betterthanyou** : guys no

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : in our defense, he named himself that

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : I think?

 **smoakandmirrors** : yeah pretty much

 **irisbest** : you realize that letting them name themselves makes it worse

 **speedygonzales** : really???

 **speedygonzales** : really iris????

 **speedygonzales** : have u seen ur bad guys names??????

 **speedygonzales** : i mean i bet everything that the guy ur chasing now has got a stupid name

 **goodvibrations** : I don’t know his real name but he goes by Abra Kadabra

 **speedygonzales** : i rest my case

 **speedygonzales** : i cannot _believe_ ur citys got a worse named bad guy than peekaboo

 **betterthanyou** : sorry what

 **rideordie** : that cant be real

 **agentdanvers** : apparently it is

 **irisbest** : hey shawna’s great!!!

 **snowqueen** : Didn’t you knock her out once? While she was trying to hurt me?

 **irisbest** : yeah but we’re good now

 **theboss** : Seriously??

 **puppydanvers** : yeah they have a weird relationship with their villains

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : hey! team flash does, we don’t

 **lancelot** : did u jst mock team flash???????

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : I guess???

 **lancelot** : _damn_

 **lancelot** : welcome to team arrow!!!!

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : thanks?

 **newandimproved** : You’re not even on the team anymore

 **lancelot** : pls once ur on the team ur always on the team

 **lancelot** : its like the jets

 **irisbest** : the football team???

 **lancelot** : no like west side story god west i thought ur bf was obsessed w/ musicals

 **irisbest** : they’re not really my thing though

 **goodvibrations** : Abra may have a stupid name but he’s still dangerous

 **lancelot** : i guess he gets a pass being from a different earth

 **puppydanvers** : hey! being from a different earth doesn’t mean you have a stupid name!

 **lancelot** : right sorry _supergirl_

 **puppydanvers** : hey!!!!!!!

 **snowqueen** : Actually he’s from our earth

 **speedygonzales** : and from ur city yh???

 **speedygonzales** : i mean abra kadabra just screams central city

 **irisbest** : he’s only _technically_ from here

 **lancelot** : meaning???

 **irisbest** : oh here we go

 **lancelot** : ??????

 **goodvibrations** : he’s from the 64th century

 **lancelot** : _guys can u go ten minutes w/o messing w/ time_

 **lancelot** : _pls guys i beg u_

 **irisbest** : this wasn’t us!!!!

 **irisbest** : he’s been using future technology to time travel and hop earths

 **irisbest** : we had nothing to do with it!!!

 **lancelot** : _uh huh_

 **irisbest** : really!!!!

 **rideordie** : so where is he now?

 **snowqueen** : He’s locked up in the pipeline

 **rideordie** : the what

 **smoakandmirrors** : their private prison for metas

 **rideordie** : is that legal on your earth???

 **newandimproved** : Oh not even close

 **irisbest** : oh like you can talk with your secret island prison

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : wait we really have one of those???

 **irisbest** : and don’t think that barry didn’t tell me about the deo

 **agentdanvers** : we’re government sanctioned

 **irisbest** : yeah I’m sure that that meta that barry helped you with after she escaped from your cells had a fair trial

 **goodvibrations** : Abra shouldn’t be in there anyway

 **smoakandmirrors** : you want to let the dangerous meta out of the meta proof cell?????

 **goodvibrations** : he isn’t a meta

 **smoakandmirrors:** really???

 **speedygonzales** : _omg his name is abra kadabra dont say its magic i hate magic_

 **puppydanvers** : ?????????????

 **theboss** : Magic’s real???

 **lancelot** : hey magic brought me back to life!!!!

 **theboss** : What??

 **lancelot** : and u practically!!!

 **speedygonzales** : i kno but still

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : sorry magic?? is that a thing we have to deal with in star???

 **smoakandmirrors** : _yep_

 **smoakandmirrors** : magic’s real and it’s sometimes cool but mostly it just sucks

 **lancelot** : um excuse u do u want to say that to amayas face

 **smoakandmirrors** : amaya and mari’s magic is fine, and the hawks’, it’s everyone else

 **speedygonzales** : hot british guy tho

 **smoakandmirrors** : ok constantine’s cool too i guess

 **smoakandmirrors** : but everyone else!!

 **newandimproved** : But what about that woman you met in Hub City?

 **smoakandmirrors** : i mean she kind of creeped me out a bit but ok

 **smoakandmirrors** : but everyone else!!!!!!!

 **rideordie** : i can’t believe you just know so many people that use magic

 **newandimproved** : You get used to it

 **snowqueen** : Abra doesn’t have magical powers

 **speedygonzales** : _then why is he called abra kadabra_

 **snowqueen** : He has some kind of nanotechnology? But so advanced that it _looks_ like magic

 **smoakandmirrors** : oh, arthur c clarke right

 **snowqueen** : Exactly

 **smoakandmirrors** : but still, i’m guessing the cell is blocking his powers??

 **smoakandmirrors** : why would you want to let him out???

 **goodvibrations** : I’m here to take him back to my earth, remember?

 **goodvibrations** : can’t exactly do that if he’s locked up on your earth

 **lancelot** : so y dont u take him back to ur earth???

 **goodvibrations** : because they won’t let me

 **goodvibrations** : really I should just go and take him

 **goodvibrations** : I’m only here because Cisco wouldn’t stop pouting until I took his damn com device

 **speedygonzales** : !!!!!

 **goodvibrations:** what

 **speedygonzales** : _com device_

 **goodvibrations** : yeah?

 **speedygonzales** : nothing

 **speedygonzales** : i love talking to other earthers

 **goodvibrations** : guys its cisco i need to take my cell back sorry!!

 **smoakandmirrors** : wait cisco!!!!

 **goodvibrations** : ????

 **smoakandmirrors** : i like her!!!!!!

 **goodvibrations** : !!!!!!!

 **goodvibrations** : i like her too!!!!!!

 **goodvibrations:** :D

 **smoakandmirrors** : :D

 

 **goodvibrations** has left the group

 

 **smoakandmirrors** : !!!!

 **smoakandmirrors** : they’re adorable!

 **newandimproved** : You guys are okay over there, aren’t you?

 **irisbest** : yeah we’re good

 **irisbest** : wait

 

 **irisbest** has left the group

 

 **smoakandmirrors** : oh come on!!!

 **smoakandmirrors** : speedy have you heard anything?

 **speedygonzales** : no, wallys on e3 w/ jesse rn and i dont rlly wanna scare them if it ends up being nothing

 **smoakandmirrors** : i hate it when this happens

 **theboss** : Are they okay?

 **smoakandmirrors** : who even knows???

 **smoakandmirrors** : they just disappear all the time and we never have any way of getting in touch with them

 **lancelot** : yh and i dont rlly kno what happens round now so i cant even help

 **newandimproved** : I don’t think Caitlin’s left though?

 **smoakandmirrors** : cait you there???

 **smoakandmirrors** : cait!!!!!

 **puppydanvers** : what about barry or cisco?

 **smoakandmirrors** : no i’m trying but nothing

 **smoakandmirrors:** god i hate this

 **agentdanvers** : do you think something happened with abra?

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : it must’ve done

 **lancelot** : maybe cindy got bored of waiting and jst took the dude????

 **smoakandmirrors** : but then why wouldn’t cait be answering

 **lancelot** : i dont kno fliss

 **lancelot** : but i do kno that my convo w/ iris and cait hasnt happened 4 them yet so

 **lancelot** : dont kno if that helps

 **smoakandmirrors** : no that helps a lot

 **smoakandmirrors** : thank you so much sara

 **lancelot** : yh yh

 **theboss** : How can it not have happened for them yet?

 **lancelot** : oooooooh yh we never had the talk did we

 **speedygonzales** : dont u mean the Talk™

 **lancelot** : _speedy u r so right thats exactly what i meant_

 **theboss** : About what?

 **newandimproved** : Wow I’m surprised you didn’t bring it up sooner

 **lancelot** : bc i am a model of restraint _laurel_

 **newandimproved** : There is literally nothing that I can say to that

 **lancelot** : yh so _anyway_

 **lancelot** : im a time traveller

 **lancelot** : and im the captain of a space/time ship

 **puppydanvers** : !!!!!

 **lancelot** : ???

 **puppydanvers** : LENA’S FACE IS BASICALLY :O

 **lancelot** : !!!!

 **lancelot** : now _thats_ a proper reaction

 **agentdanvers** : just don’t ask how it works

 **theboss** : Why not?

 **agentdanvers** : _because they don’t know_

 **lancelot** : do i need to kno how a car works to be able to drive it???

 **lancelot** : or a computer to be able to use the internet????

 **lancelot** : what

 **lancelot** : guys???

 **lancelot** : what??????

 **smoakandmirrors** : that was a good analogy???

 **lancelot:** yh whats ur point

 **newandimproved** : You never make good analogies

 **lancelot** : i make good analogies all the time?????

 **newandimproved** : No that was literally your first one

 **lancelot** : um no it wasnt????

 

 **irisbest** joined the group **missedme???**

**irisbest** : we’re okay!!!!!!

 **smoakandmirrors** : oh thank god

 **newandimproved** : What happened?

 **irisbest** : okay so first I just want to point out that everybody’s fine now

 **smoakandmirrors** : that’s not helping!!!!

 **irisbest:** my dad let abra go

 **smoakandmirrors** : why?????

 **irisbest** : because he said that he knows who savitar is

 **lancelot:** oh

 **irisbest** : he didn’t tell us anything though

 **irisbest** : yeah, so he got out, and he caused an explosion and cait got hurt

 **irisbest** : but she’s okay now!!!!!

 **irisbest** : she’s passed out at the moment but surgery went fine

 **smoakandmirrors** : she had surgery????

 **agentdanvers** : isn’t caitlin your doctor???

 **irisbest** : yeah she talked julian and I through it

 **smoakandmirrors** : you operated??????

 **agentdanvers** : she was awake???

 **irisbest** : yes and yes

 **speedygonzales** : _damn snow_

 **irisbest** : yeah, she’s a total badass

 **irisbest** : she’s _amazing_

 **irisbest** : and just to reiterate: she’s fine

 **newandimproved** : Thank god

 **irisbest** : we put her phone on silent for the surgery and she’ll probably turn it back on when she wakes up

 **smoakandmirrors** : ok good i need to talk to her to make sure she’s ok

 **smoakandmirrors** : no offense iris, i do trust you

 **irisbest** : no it’s okay I get it

 **smoakandmirrors** : what about cisco’s girlfriend?

 **irisbest:** she took abra back to her earth

 **smoakandmirrors** : she just left???

 **irisbest** : well

 **smoakandmirrors** : well????

 **irisbest** : not before she kissed him

 **smoakandmirrors** : !!!!!!!

 **irisbest** : I know!!!!

 **smoakandmirrors** : ahhhh!!!!

 **irisbest** : guys I have to go now

 **smoakandmirrors** : well at least this time you’re telling us instead of just disappearing

 **newandimproved** : What’s up?

 **irisbest** : barry wants me to meet him at home

 **irisbest** : apparently he wants to tell me something?

 **lancelot** : TELL HIM TO KEEP HIS NOSE OUT OF THE TIMELINE

 **irisbest** : yeah yeah


	24. in which iris west is (justifiably) angry and caitlin snow is (justifiably) absent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka abra kadabra pt2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> three chapters in one day?? i might actually finish this??

**irisbest** created the group **hey**

 

**irisbest** added **snowqueen** to the group **hey**

 

**irisbest** : cait

**irisbest** : cait please answer me

**irisbest** : caitlin

**irisbest** : killer frost whatever

**irisbest** : please just talk to me

**irisbest** : I need to know you’re okay

**irisbest** : please

 

**irisbest** created the group **sara**

 

**irisbest** added **lancelot** to the group **sara**

 

**lancelot** : west??? whats up????

**irisbest** : you lied to me

**lancelot** : ???????

**lancelot:** probably but what abt

**irisbest** : you told me caitlin was going to be okay

**lancelot** : oh

**irisbest** : yeah oh

**lancelot** : actually i said she yelled at me and she helped me save the day

**irisbest** : but you implied she’d be okay

**lancelot** : yeah i did

**lancelot** : so much of caitlins problem was self fufilling prophecy

**lancelot** : i thought maybe if u all thought that shed be ok then she would be

**irisbest** : I did think that she’d be okay so I left her and she died

**lancelot** : she died???

**irisbest** : yes and when she was revived it was only killer frost that came back

**lancelot** : iris i dont think you couldve stopped it

**irisbest** : but I still shoulve been there

**lancelot** : im so sorry

**irisbest** : she tried to kill cisco

**irisbest** : caitlin loves cisco more than anyone else in the whole multiverse and she tried to kill him

**lancelot** : iris

**irisbest** : I really hope you didn’t lie to the others too

**lancelot** : i didnt

**irisbest** : of course you didn’t

**lancelot** : ???

**irisbest** : they’re actually your friends

**lancelot** : thats not true, ur all my friends and i care abt all of u

**lancelot** : im a time traveller and i kno u all scoff at me

**lancelot:** but its my job to fix things ok and im sorry i shouldve left this one alone

**irisbest** : yeah you should have

**irisbest** : next time stick to the time stream and leave my team out of it

**lancelot** : iris

**irisbest** : no I don’t want to talk to you right now

**lancelot** : ok

**lancelot** : i can leave u guys alone

**irisbest** : you do that

 

**lancelot** has left the group

 

**irisbest**  deleted the group **sara**

 

**irisbest** created the group **important**

**irisbest** added **smoakandmirrors** , **newandimproved** and **quicksort** to the group **important**

 

**smoakandmirrors** : iris i’m so sorry

**irisbest** : yeah

**irisbest** : me too

**quicksort** : wait what’s happened???

**irisbest** : caitlin’s become killer frost

**quicksort** : no

**newandimproved:** What??? How???

**irisbest** : I’m sorry jesse

**quicksort** : I need to get over there

**irisbest** : no jesse stay where you are

**irisbest** : please

**quicksort** : no I need to do something

**irisbest** : jesse really

**irisbest** : is there’s anything you can do we’ll call you right away, I promise

**quicksort** : I just wish there was something I could do

**irisbest** : yeah I know

**quicksort** : but how did this even happen??

**irisbest** : I don’t know what happened she was stable when I left

**irisbest** : she died and julian took her necklace off so it stopped suppressing her powers and she healed

**irisbest** : but now she's not cait anymore

**quicksort** : what

**quicksort** : she wouldn’t want that

**irisbest** : jesse

**quicksort** : no why would he do that

**irisbest** : because he watched her die jesse!!!

**irisbest** : god jesse I'm sorry

**irisbest** : I shouldn't have said that

**quicksort:** no iris I get it

**irisbest** : still I shouldn’t have

**irisbest** : felicity did sara tell you?

**smoakandmirrors** : cisco actually

**smoakandmirrors** : actually i haven’t spoken to sara today?

**smoakandmirrors** : usually she’s here first?

**smoakandmirrors** : i guess it’s timelines

**irisbest** : actually it’s my fault

**irisbest** : I told her to stay away and I guess she listened

**newandimproved** : Sara’s thick-skinned, I’m sure she understands

**irisbest** : yeah she says that a lot

**irisbest** : I’m just so angry

**irisbest** : I think I took it out on her and she might not have deserved it all

**smoakandmirrors** : it’s ok

**irisbest** : no it’s not

**irisbest** : she did something kind of stupid but I don’t get to take how I feel out on her

**irisbest** : or anyone

**irisbest** : god this day

 

**irisbest** added **lancelot** to the group **important**

 

**lancelot** : ive been staying away????

**lancelot** : did i do something else?????

**irisbest** : no

**irisbest** : I wanted to apologize

**lancelot** : but it was my fault

**irisbest** : kind of, but I didn’t have to react like I did

**irisbest** : sara I’m sorry, it’s not your fault that cait’s like this

**lancelot** : oh

**irisbest** : I don’t know if it’s anyone’s fault at all

**lancelot** : im still sorry

**lancelot** : but thanks

**lancelot** : i get why ud want me 2 stay the hell away from but i still have to ask

**lancelot:** is there anything me and my team can do

**irisbest** : I don’t know

**irisbest** : I don’t even know if there’s anything that my team can do

**smoakandmirrors** : but we’re still trying, right?

**newandimproved** : Because we’re right here if you need us Iris

**irisbest** : thanks guys

**smoakandmirrors** : you’d do the same for any of us

**quicksort** : and we love her too

**smoakandmirrors** : iris

**irisbest** : yes?

**smoakandmirrors** : the security on this group’s pretty tight

**smoakandmirrors** : if i delete her from the group then she won’t be able to get back in, even if she gets a new number

**irisbest:** oh

**smoakandmirrors** : what do you want me to do?

**irisbest** : what do you think I should do?

**smoakandmirrors** : i think you know caitlin better than all of us

**irisbest** : can you leave her in?

**irisbest** : I know that it means that we all have to be more cautious talking about the work we’re doing

**irisbest** : and if you want to delete her then I totally understand

**irisbest** : but I want to believe that cait’s still in there

**irisbest** : and maybe seeing us would help?

**irisbest** : I know it’s probably stupid

**lancelot** : no its not

**lancelot** : i mean sorry i dont want to butt in

**lancelot** : but it was seeing my team again that brought back my more human side and maybe itll be the same for caitlin?

**irisbest** : no that helps

**irisbest** : thank you

**irisbest** : I guess I have to tell the others, don’t I

**lancelot:** does lisa kno?

**irisbest** : no cisco’s telling her

**irisbest** : I wouldn’t even know what to say

**irisbest** : I don’t even know what to say to the others

**smoakandmirrors** : i can tell them if you’d like?

**smoakandmirrors** : if that would help?

**irisbest** : you’d do that for me?

**smoakandmirrors** : of course

**smoakandmirrors** : we’re going to get her back iris

**irisbest** : yeah

**irisbest:** I hope so

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i mean, things can only get better from here? probably?


	25. in which nyssa raatko is a goddamn dork and sara lance is also a goddamn dork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka the one where they finally talk

**nr** created the group **Hello**

 

**nr** added **lancelot** to the group **Hello**

 

**lancelot** : ??????? yo who dis

**nr** : Hello Sara

**lancelot** : nyssa????

**nr** : Laurel said that you wished to speak with me

**lancelot** : laurels a gossip and she should butt out

**nr** : You don’t mean that

**lancelot** : i could do!!!!

**nr** : Sara

**lancelot** : look i wanted to ask for ur help w/ some dumb thing that doesnt matter

**nr** : You were trying to get Laurel and Felicity into a romantic relationship

**lancelot** : thea told you

**nr** : She did, yes

**lancelot** : _of course she did_

**lancelot** : ok so there was this group of us and wed think of stupid plans and we never actually did anything

**lancelot** : and then there was 1 of us that thought the whole thing was pretty stupid but stuck around w/ us anyway

**lancelot** : and i didnt kno her as well as the others but she was so good and smart

**lancelot** : shes so young shes just a kid really

**nr** : Something happened to her

**lancelot** : shes sick nys and shes hurting herself and other ppl

**lancelot** : shes like how i was after the pit

**lancelot** : and i thought maybe i could help stop it but i did literally nothing useful whatsoever

**nr** : That isn’t your fault

**lancelot** : yh but this is

**nr** : What is?

**lancelot** : its been what 2 yrs for u? i shouldve have visited

**lancelot** : i have time travel for gods sake

**nr** : I didn’t exactly wish to be found

**lancelot** : yet laur managed to find u

**nr** : My relationship with Laurel is different than with you

**lancelot** : yh bc laur didnt break ur heart nd leave u locked up

**nr** : She couldn’t break my heart like you did because she didn’t hold my heart like you did

**lancelot** : godamnnit

**nr** : Sara?

**lancelot** : i miss u

**lancelot** : i always have

**lancelot** : did laur tell u i rejoined the league

**nr** : Before I dissolved it?

**lancelot** : yh in the 50s

**lancelot** : speaking of, i kno u said ur sister was older but not like 50ys older????

**nr** : It didn’t seem relevant at the time

**lancelot** : cant believe i almost forgot how cryptic u could be i swear

**lancelot** : so anyway

**lancelot:** i told ur dad to make sure that u were on a boat off lian yu in 2008

**lancelot** : also i maybe kind of told him to call u nyssa??? so i hope u like ur name

**lancelot** : nyssa?

**lancelot** : yh maybe its weird

**lancelot** : yep def weird prob shouldntve brought it up

**nr** : You brought us together

**lancelot** : no u brought us together when u saved me

**lancelot** : i just repaid the favor

**nr** : I miss you too

**nr** : I always have

**lancelot** : u were always the best of me

**nr** : As were you of me

**nr** : Though I like to think that we’ve made each other better

**lancelot** : uve spent 2 much time w/ laurel ur starting to sound like her

**nr** : Sara

**lancelot** : yh yh laurels the light of our lives i get it

**lancelot** : speaking of, did u 2 make out????

**lancelot** : bc laur says u didnt but ive got a bet going w/ speedy that u actually did

**nr** : We did not

**lancelot** : _damn i needed that 50 bucks_

**lancelot** : nys???

**lancelot** : u still there???

**nr** : Sometimes I’m reminded of how different we are

**lancelot** : HA

**lancelot** : is that ur way of tellin me im like the uncouth urchin in period dramas

**lancelot:** and ur the high society lady that every1 thnks is way too good 4 me

**nr** : It’s my way of telling you that I have never met anybody like you, and likely never will

**lancelot** : ugh

**lancelot** : u kno its not fair that ur so smooth

**nr** : I apologise

**lancelot** : god ur such a dork

**lancelot** : hey nys

**nr** : Yes?

**lancelot** : when i said i miss u i meant i love you

**lancelot:** just so u kno

**nr** : As did I

**lancelot** : yh?

**nr** : Of course

**nr** : You never have to ask that

**lancelot** : just its been a while so i wasnt sure

**nr** : I told you, always

**lancelot** : hey so

**lancelot** :what do u think

**lancelot** : wanna go on a date

**lancelot** : like a normal ppl date

**lancelot** : as if any of us r normal lol

**lancelot** : well probably end up having to go save the world like ten mins in

**lancelot** : a date w/ me that is

**lancelot** : just to clarify

**lancelot** : tho u already knew that obviously

**lancelot** : yh so u can stop me any time u want

**nr** : I would like that very much

**lancelot** : good

**lancelot** : awesome

**lancelot** : bc im standing outside ur door

**nr** : I know

**nr** : You’ve been there for five minutes

**lancelot** : ha!!! 15 actually!!!!

**lancelot** : ur getting sloppy in ur retirement!!!!

**lancelot** : altho actually im not sure if that makes u look bad or me look bad????

**lancelot** : argument could b made 4 both rlly

**nr** : Sara

**lancelot** : yep

**nr** : Come in

**lancelot** : yep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i miss these two


	26. in which felicity smoak isn’t actually evil and alex danvers isn’t exactly a stranger to this kind of thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka dangerous liaisons

**speedygonzales** : hey so remember that fun time when we all imagined felicity becoming a villain

**lancelot** : yes?

**speedygonzales** : so turns out not so fun

**irisbest** : no she can’t

**quicksort:** really???

**thirdtimesthecharm** : she’s working against us

**agentdanvers** : felicity? the one who’s basically a human version of my sister???

**newandimproved** : She isn’t actually evil, you know that Felicity would never do that

**newandimproved** : It isn’t like Caitlin, Iris, she’s in full control of herself

**speedygonzales** : oh no just hacking homeland security

**speedygonzales:** and planning to help a team of criminals break another criminal out of an argus site

**speedygonzales** : and stopping us from stopping them

**lancelot** : she isnt bad tho shes jst in a bad place rn

**newandimproved** : You’re in contact with her??

**lancelot** : no, future knowledge

**lancelot** : y, u rnt????

**speedygonzales** : not like we can just track her down or anything

**thirdtimesthecharm** : she’s felicity smoak

**rideordie** : i know that i don’t know you all as well and i don’t really know the situation

**rideordie** : but wont she be able to see everything here?

**speedygonzales** : im not stupid im not going to put anything sensitive on here

**speedygonzales** : just needed somewhere to vent

**speedygonzales** : AND YES I KNO SHE CAN SEE THIS THATS THE WHOLE POINT I NEED HER TO SEE HOW PISSED WE ARE

**newandimproved** : You don’t see her side at all?

**speedygonzales** : yes of course i do i did practically the same thing

**speedygonzales:** except i didnt have anyone to point out what a stupid idea it was

**speedygonzales** : AND SHE DOES

**speedygonzales** : and y, r u taking her side???

**newandimproved** : You know that I’m basically retired, I’m not taking anyone’s side

**speedygonzales** : not really an answer

**newandimproved** : It’s just, it’s Felicity

**speedygonzales** : yh i kno thats kinda the problem

**agentdanvers** : so what are you going to do?

**thirdtimesthecharm** : apparently we have to treat her like any other criminal

**thirdtimesthecharm** : except she knows everything about us and how we operate

**speedygonzales** : oh boy this is gonna be _super fun_

**speedygonzales** : hey remember the last time 1 of us went rogue aka me?

**speedygonzales** : AND IT ENDED IN SARAS DEATH

**speedygonzales** : DO U REMEMBER THAT FELICITY

**smoakandmirrors** : you don’t have to yell

**smoakandmirrors** : and i’m pretty sure that oliver’s the last one that went rogue

**newandimproved** : Where are you????

**smoakandmirrors** : relax guys, i’m fine

**newandimproved** : That’s not an answer

**irisbest** : what are you doing felicity

**smoakandmirrors** : really guys, i’m okay

**smoakandmirrors:** this isn’t like cait iris i promise

**smoakandmirrors** : this is something i need to do

**irisbest** : I’m sure she thinks that too

**smoakandmirrors** : but it’s different this time

**smoakandmirrors** : i’m helping

**speedygonzales** : but you dont have to do it _this_ way

**smoakandmirrors** : _right of course_

**speedygonzales** : ?????

**smoakandmirrors** : i’ve stood by for nearly five years while the rest of team arrow have done whatever it takes to save the city

**smoakandmirrors** : but now _i’m_ meant to be the better one??????

**smoakandmirrors** : don't you guys remember that i was technically a criminal _before_ all this vigilante stuff?????

**smoakandmirrors** : a proper one that is, not for some stupid drunk juvenile crime

**smoakandmirrors** : the only reason i’m not in some government blacksite right now is because my douchebag ex took the fall for me

**smoakandmirrors** : but no sure tell me how i’m too good to lower myself to everyone else’s level

**speedygonzales:** im not saying that

**smoakandmirrors** : kinda feels like it

**lancelot** : im guessing ollies been saying that to u

**smoakandmirrors** : _yep_

**agentdanvers** : but you’re not doing this just to spite him, right?

**smoakandmirrors** : no!!!

**agentdanvers** : okay, just making sure

**smoakandmirrors** : ???

**betterthanyou** : dont worry ur not gonna get any judgement from that direction

**betterthanyou** : alex is the _queen_ of questionable decisions

**agentdanvers** : I’m not?

**rideordie** : babe

**rideordie:** yes you are

**betterthanyou:** didnt j’onn suspend u bc he thought u were gonna do a reckless thing and then u did it anyway

**betterthanyou** : like a few weeks ago

**agentdanvers** : it was the right thing to do!

**betterthanyou** : told u

**agentdanvers** : felicity I’m not going to try and stop you if you think what you’re doing is right

**smoakandmirrors** : thank you

**agentdanvers:** just make sure you have a back up plan

**rideordie** : but you didn’t have a back up plan??

**agentdanvers** : yes I did???

**agentdanvers** : you and kara???

**rideordie** : oh

**betterthanyou** : gee thanks danvers

**agentdanvers** : lucy you’re as reliable as kara is in the kitchen

**betterthanyou** : _wow_

**betterthanyou** : i honestly dont think ive ever been this offended

**betterthanyou** : kara ur not gonna defend urself????

**agentdanvers** : oh she’s not here

**agentdanvers** : her and lena are going to a conference

**betterthanyou** : right yh the nerd date

**agentdanvers** : no that’s not what it is

**betterthanyou** : oh it so is

**rideordie** : kind of is

**lancelot** : is kara making a move????

**rideordie** : actually lena invited _her_

**lancelot** : _oooooooh_

**lancelot:** i didnt expect that

**agentdanvers** : it’s not a date, it’s a work thing

**lancelot** : aw ur cute

**smoakandmirrors** : hey i thought that was _our_ thing!

**lancelot** : ur still the cutest fliss ;)

**smoakandmirrors** : :)

**smoakandmirrors** : guys i think i might have to leave soon

**betterthanyou** : so i dont kno the whole situation and im not gonna pretend to kno the right course of action

**betterthanyou** : but ive been of both sides of this kind of thing and ive gotta point out that both sides make sense when ur on them

**smoakandmirrors** : i’m not on a different side

**smoakandmirrors** : i’m just side adjacent?

**speedygonzales** : look i kno u and i kno ur not rlly a bad person

**smoakandmirrors** : thanks?

**speedygonzales** : what im saying is theres no way ur gonna do something actually unforgivable

**speedygonzales** : but also i kno how hard ollie & digg take these kind of things

**speedygonzales** : so even if they kick u out then u can always come round mine ok

**smoakandmirrors** : even though you think i’m being an idiot?

**speedygonzales** : yh but when rnt u

**smoakandmirrors** : thanks speedy

**lancelot** : the legends are mostly ex criminals anyway so u kno

**lancelot** : always a spot open 4 u fliss

**lancelot** : actually i think ray would combust out of excitement

**smoakandmirrors** : should i be worried that you all think this is going to go badly

**speedygonzales** : yes u should thats exactly y we said it tahts the whole point

**smoakandmirrors** : yeah so i actually do have to leave now

**speedygonzales** : goddamnit

**irisbest** : felicity

**smoakandmirrors** : iris i really have to go

**irisbest** : just wait for a second yeah

**irisbest** : I know that you think you have to do this but please be careful

**irisbest:** and please don’t do anything that you could regret

**irisbest** : maybe it’s selfish but I really don’t want to lose another friend

**smoakandmirrors** : i’m still here iris, and cait will be here again soon, you know that

**irisbest** : so you say

 

**smoakandmirrors** has left the group

 

**thirdtimesthecharm** : well I’m sure this will be fun

 

**thirdtimesthecharm** has left the group

 

**newandimproved** : Guys, I think we should be there for this

**speedygonzales** : yh some1s gotta stop felicity and ollie from killing each other

 

**newandimproved** has left the group

 

**speedygonzales** has left the group

 

**irisbest** : now what

**lancelot:** i dont kno if any1 was talking to each other after

**lancelot:** but im pretty sure nobody dies

**lancelot** : so theres that i guess?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly my main takeaway from writing this chapter (and rewatching the episode) is that there's got to be at least _one_ earth where felicity and alex are a morally grey vigilante team yes???


	27. in which sara lance is the only one who's really having a good time and iris west really deserves a break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka and that’s what you missed in the arrowverse

**speedygonzales** joined the group **missedme???**

**speedygonzales** added **newandimproved** , **smoakandmirrors** and **thirdtimesthecharm** to the group **missedme???**

 

**speedygonzales** : HEY NOBODYS DEAD AND ALSO NOBODYS IN JAIL

**irisbest** : oh thank god

**irisbest** : is it over??

**thirdtimesthecharm** : oh yeah that was over a while ago

**irisbest** : then why have you all been on radio silence for nearly three days???

**smoakandmirrors** : wait you guys didn’t go back either?

**speedygonzales** : no bc we were worried abt u

**speedygonzales** : idiot

**smoakandmirrors** : oh

**smoakandmirrors** : really guys, i’m fine

**newandimproved** : You shouldn’t even be on your phone

**smoakandmirrors** : there’s nothing wrong with my arms laurel

**irisbest** : meaning there’s something wrong somewhere else???

**rideordie** : what happened?

**smoakandmirrors** : prometheus set off an emp in the base

**irisbest** : oh my god

**lancelot** : fliss ur implant

**irisbest** : oh my god I didn’t even think about that

**smoakandmirrors** : no it’s fine! it might take a day or so for the implant to be properly fixed

**smoakandmirrors** : it just means i might be stuck in bed for a bit

**irisbest** : you don’t have a chair?

**irisbest** : because barry or wally can run one down if you need one

**smoakandmirrors** : no i’ve got a chair but _someone_ won’t let me get out of bed

**newandimproved** : I think you’re being a tad dramatic

**smoakandmirrors** : am i laurel

**smoakandmirrors** : am i

**newandimproved** : Yes?

**lancelot** : oh boy has laurel gone full mother hen

**speedygonzales** : ...maybe a little

**smoakandmirrors** : yes it’s the _worst_

**newandimproved** : You could’ve _died_ Felicity

**smoakandmirrors** : okay but counterpoint: i didn’t

**newandimproved** : You’ve spent way too much time with Sara

**lancelot** : u say that like its a bad thing???

**smoakandmirrors** : and oliver was in a much worse shape than me anyway

**newandimproved** : Ollie’s got Thea at the moment

**smoakandmirrors** : thea was here a few hours ago???

**newandimproved** : Oh wow

**smoakandmirrors** : ???

**speedygonzales** : the fact that u havent realized that weve worked out a schedule probably means u shud stay in bed 4 a while

**smoakandmirrors** : oh

**puppydanvers** : so what’s wrong exactly?

**smoakandmirrors** : so long story but i have a spinal implant that allows me to use my legs

**smoakandmirrors** : and it didn’t react well to the emp obviously

**smoakandmirrors** : but curtis will have it working again in no time

**smoakandmirrors** : probably

**irisbest** : and is everyone else okay?

**smoakandmirrors** : oliver had to have surgery but he was up and about not long after

**speedygonzales** : and apparently the bby team got to properly bond so thats good

**thirdtimesthecharm** : you realize I’m right here

**speedygonzales** : whats ur point

**smoakandmirrors** : so what about you guys?

**smoakandmirrors** : has anything been happening in your places?

**irisbest** : we’ve maybe got a new girl on team flash

**speedygonzales** : already?

**irisbest** : nobody’s replacing anyone

**speedygonzales** : i kno, thats not what i was saying

**smoakandmirrors** : so what’s she like?

**irisbest** : ...she’s really like you actually???

**irisbest** : I can’t believe I didn’t notice that

**smoakandmirrors** : i bet she’s awesome

**speedygonzales** : i bet shes irritating

**smoakandmirrors** : please, i know you love me

**speedygonzales** : yh yh ur like the sister i never had

**newandimproved** : Hey???

**lancelot** : um excuse me???

**speedygonzales:** *like the younger sister i never had

**smoakandmirrors** : i’m older than you??

**speedygonzales** : mentally tho

**smoakandmirrors** : you’re saying you’re mentally older than me????

**smoakandmirrors** : YOU’RE SAYING SARA’S MENTALLY OLDER THAN ME???????

**speedygonzales** : yes and yes

**smoakandmirrors** : ????????????????

**lancelot** : _burn_

**smoakandmirrors** : you’re insulting yourself???

**lancelot** : pls we all kno that it insults u more than me

**irisbest** : anyway, I was just telling you so you know

**irisbest:** I can’t actually add her

**rideordie** : you don’t trust her?

**irisbest** : I don’t really know yet, but apparently future barry does?

**lancelot** : EXCUSE ME WHAT

**irisbest** : oh no

**lancelot** : WHAT DID I TELL U GUYS ABT MESSING W/ TIME?????

**irisbest:** not to?

**lancelot** : EXACTLY

**lancelot** : im gonna make u guys a powerpoint on y not to mess w/ time

**newandimproved** : I’m pretty sure that you haven’t used powerpoint once in your entire life

**lancelot** : im gonna get ray and nate to make u guys a powerpoint on y not to mess w/ time

**irisbest** : this is probably the last time

**irisbest** : and no, it’s not because of trust

**irisbest** : it’s because she’s the one that helps trap savitar in the future

**puppydanvers** : so why does that mean you can’t add her?

**irisbest** : because caitlin keeps trying to kill her

**smoakandmirrors** : oh

**irisbest** : yeah

**irisbest** : it’s complicated

**irisbest** : and I can’t exactly talk about it on here sorry

**smoakandmirrors** : no we get it

**irisbest** : so what about you guys?

**lancelot** : HOW WAS THE NERD DATE??????

**puppydanvers** : ????

**rideordie** : she means the conference

**puppydanvers** : oh

**lancelot** : oh???

**speedygonzales** : that bad huh

**puppydanvers** : no the conference was very interesting

**puupydanvers:** but the technology was later used to murder people

**speedygonzales** : oh

**puppydanvers** : yeah

**puppydanvers** : which is why lena’s not here

**puppydanvers** : it wasn’t a good day

**puppydanvers** : actually do you mind if I leave? I was thinking of checking in on her before I get to work

**irisbest** : no of course

**speedygonzales** : hey tell her we hope shes ok?

**puppydanvers** : I will

**puppydanvers** : felicity, I hope you and oliver are feeling better soon

**smoakandmirrors** : thanks kara

**puppydanvers** has left the group

**speedygonzales** : i guess this has been a pretty terrible couple of days all around

**lancelot** : well

**smoakandmirrors** : well what???

**lancelot** : _well_

**irisbest** : oh please tell me that after all the yelling you did that the legends haven’t screwed up time

**smoakandmirrors** : again

**irisbest:** again

**lancelot** : nope

**speedygonzales** : so what then????

**lancelot** : ...well

**smoakandmirrors** : _sara_

**lancelot** : ... _well_

**newandimproved** : She’s got back with Nyssa

**speedygonzales** : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : oh my god sara!!!!

**lancelot** : _laurel_

**newandimproved** : I couldn’t stand you dragging it out

**lancelot** : cant believe she told u

**newandimproved** : She’s my best friend

**lancelot** : yh but shes _my_ girlfriend

**speedygonzales** : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : i’m so happy for you guys

**lancelot** : yh were awesome

 

**irisbest** has left the group

 

**smoakandmirrors** : okay that’s it i’m making it a rule that the central guys can’t just leave the group

**smoakandmirrors** : every time they do it turns out something really bad has happened again

**rideordie** : i don’t think you can control that

**smoakandmirrors** : don’t care

 

**irisbest** joined the group **missedme???**

 

**newandimproved** : That was shorter than usual?

**smoakandmirrors** : please tell me that something else hasn’t happened

**irisbest** : when isnt something happening

**irisbest** : did you know

**smoakandmirrors** : ?????

**lancelot** : im gonna take a wild guess and say ur talking 2 me

**irisbest** : I am

**lancelot** : so what is it that im meant 2 have known

**irisbest** : did you know that savitar is barry

**smoakandmirrors** : what???

**speedygonzales** : wait what

**lancelot** : oh

**irisbest** : sara

**lancelot** : when i spoke 2 u, u said that 2 of ur best friends were trying to kill u, but i stopped u b4 u could tell me who were talking abt

**irisbest** : well that’s something at least

**smoakandmirrors** : but how can he be barry?

**irisbest** : he’s a time remnant

**smoakandmirror:** okay so that’s how, but it still doesn’t eaplain why

**smoakandmirrors** : no version of barry could kill you and hurt wally

**irisbest** : apparently this one could

**irisbest** : and has

**irisbest** : and now he's got cait

**irisbest** : god no wonder he was able to convince her to work with him

**lancelot** : when hes from?

**irisbest** : a few years ahead

**lancelot** : oh thats not good

**irisbest** : you don’t have to tell me that

**lancelot** : sorry

**irisbest** : no I guess I’ve just started to get used to this sort of thing

**rideordie** : can i ask what a time remnant is?

**irisbest** : I’ll try but usually I’m not the person who explains these things

**irisbest** : so speedsters can run so fast that they go back in time right?

**irisbest** : and usually the version of them from the old timeline disappears

**irisbest** : but sometimes they don’t?

**irisbest** : and they’re called time remnants

**betterthanyou** : yh so im not a science person but im p sure that makes 0 sense

**rideordie** : so like everything else on their earth then


	28. in which laurel lance is either freaked out or enjoying this and sara lance is pretty sure this is unfair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka mirror, mirror pt 2

**boom** created the group **hello**

 

**boom** added **newandimproved** to the group **hello**

 

**boom** : We never got a chance to talk

**boom** : I figured that should change

**newandimproved** : And you are???

**boom** : You don’t recognise your own doppelganger?

**newandimproved** : Siren???

**boom** : Canary

**newandimproved** : How are you even on here??

**boom** : Please

**newandimproved** : You’re meant to be in prison

**boom** : Oh you are adorable

**newandimproved** : Okay Caitlin was right, being hit on by your double is just _wrong_

**boom** : Caitlin? You mean this earth’s Killer Frost?

**newandimproved** : No

**newandimproved:** She’s a good person

**boom** : By good you mean _boring_

**boom** : I met her once, wasn’t too impressed

**newandimproved** : She’s far better than you’ll ever be

**boom** : Am I meant to be hurt by that?

**newandimproved** : I hope you know that I’ve already told my team that you broke out of prison

**boom** : Of course I know. That’s what I’d do

**newandimproved** : I’m nothing like you

**boom** : Give it time

**newandimproved** : And what is that meant to mean

**boom** : I’ve read up on your history. I’m surprised you still help these people

**boom** : This city has brought you nothing but pain

**newandimproved** : Because I’m strong

**newandimproved** : Because I’m stronger than you

**boom** : Are your friends strong too?

**newandimproved** : _Stay the hell away from them_

**boom** : Relax Canary, I don’t tend to go after people

**newandimproved** : I have some friends that would beg to differ

**boom** : Because the man that broke me out of the Flash’s prison asked me to hurt them

**boom** : I honestly don’t care either way

**newandimproved** : Right, so you’re a safety conscious supervillian

**boom** : I like to cause destruction and if people get in the way then that’s their problem

**newandimproved** : Oh

**boom** : What

**newandimproved** : I didn’t understand before, how any version of me could be like you

**newandimproved** : But now I think I get it

**boom** : Really

**newandimproved** : I’ve never really liked hurting people, but I don’t lose much sleep over it either

**newandimproved** : And I know what it’s like to want to scream until everything crumbles around you

**newandimproved** : Siren?

**newandimproved** : Don’t tell me I scared you off

**boom** : As if you could

**boom** : You called me Siren

**newandimproved** : Well I don’t exactly know what name you go by

**boom** : I go by Siren

**boom** : Everyone else keeps calling me Laurel and it’s not my name

**newandimproved** : Then I’ll tell them not to

**boom** : Why would you do that?

**newandimproved** : I hated it when people used to call me Dinah

**newandimproved** : Sara used to yell at them until they called me Laurel

**boom** : Oh

**newandimproved** : I think that you and my Sara would get on pretty well actually, if you wanted to meet

**boom** : Ten minutes ago you were threatening to set your team on me and now you’re introducing me to your baby sister

**newandimproved** : Well she’s technically older than me, for one

**newandimproved** : And for two, you’re me. You couldn’t hurt her if you tried

**newandimproved** : Partly because she’d kick your ass before you could lift a finger against her

**boom** : Oh I’d _love_ to see her try

**newandimproved** : ????

**newandimproved** : Did you just??

**boom** : Probably

**newandimproved** : Okay you can flirt with me but I draw the line at flirting with Sara

**boom** : I can flirt with you?

**newandimproved** : _No_

**newandimproved** : Please don’t

**boom** : It’s not as if I don’t know what you like

**newandimproved** : I’ve changed my mind, you can’t ever meet her, it would be a nightmare

**boom** : Worried I’ll be a bad influence?

**boom** : Because honey I _so_ would

**newandimproved** : _Oh my god_

**newandimproved** : You’re not as bad as they say you are, are you

**boom** : Yes I am

**boom** : Just because I don’t set out to hurt people doesn’t mean I won’t

**newandimproved** : I know

**newandimproved** : It’s what I would do

**boom** : I know

**newandimproved** : You were in a bad position when you went up against my team, and they were in a bad place

**newandimproved** : If you turned yourself in I could argue for you

**boom** : _Such_ a lawyer

**newandimproved** : You aren’t?

**boom** : I prefer the other side of the law

**boom** : And I don’t need your help

**boom** : You think that just because we share a face we’re friends?

**newandimproved** : I think we share the same DNA and the same family and that we understand each other in a way no one else could

**newandimproved** : I think that makes us sisters

**boom** : _Wow_

**boom** : You’re delusional

**newandimproved** : Maybe

**newandimproved** : But I brought one sister back from the dead, I think I could bring another to the light

**boom** : You could try

**newandimproved:** Well I think that you of all people should know how much I enjoy a challenge

**boom** : And if people get hurt in this little game of yours?

**boom** : Or die?

**newandimproved** : People get hurt every day in this line of work

**newandimproved** : If people die, you die

**newandimproved** : What, that’s it?

**newandimproved** : I threaten you once and you run off?

**boom** : I told you that you couldn’t scare me

**boom** : But maybe I was wrong about some other things

**newandimproved** : How so?

**boom** : You are strong

**newandimproved** : Yes

**boom** : But not stronger than me

**newandimproved** : No

**newandimproved** : I’m as strong as you

**boom** : I think you just might be

**boom** : I’m sure that by now your team has reached the place that this phone’s signal seems to be coming from

**boom** : You can tell your little blonde nerd that she shouldn’t feel too bad, her computers are light years behind the tech on my world

**boom** : It wasn’t hard to spoof the signal

**boom** : Oh, and Laurel? You should know that I enjoy a challenge too

**newandimproved** : Oh I’m looking forward to it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sara, later: how come you’re allowed to flirt with your alternate self if i’m not????  
> laurel: wow so you completely missed the whole point
> 
> (will i ever stop being bitter that laurel and siren won't get to meet?)


	29. in which caitlin snow is basically 85% of team flash’s impulse control and honestly the legends are just glad they're not the ones being yelled at this time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka cause and effect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> turns up a month and a half late with an update: surprise i'm not dead
> 
> so lot really screwed up my timeline, so let's just say the legends are in between picking up amaya again and running into zari

**lancelot** changed the group name to **laurellanceisahypocrite**

 

**irisbest** : ????

**newandimproved** : For the last time Sara it’s not the same situation!!

**irisbest** : ??????

**speedygonzales:** what isnt?? whats going on????

**lancelot** : so after all that ‘oh no sara u cant flirt w/ urself its weird and wrong’

**newandimproved** : You can’t and it is!!!!

**lancelot** : laurel jst goes and does it anyway!!

**irisbest** : sorry you did what

**smoakandmirrors** : wait what

**speedygonzales** : damn get it laurel/s

**newandimproved** : I didn’t flirt with her, she flirted with me!!!!!!

**newandimproved** : And it was very uncomfortable!!!!

**thirdtimesthecharm** : so is this just a thing that happens around here?

**speedygonzales** : i feel like we can probably file this under ‘lance sister things’

**thirdtimesthecharm** : oh thank god

**smoakandmirrors** : and why am i only hearing about this now???

**newandimproved** : I told Sara first because I thought she’d know what to do???

**lancelot** : well i mean rlly thats on u

**speedygonzales** : so whats she like anway

**newandimproved** : What do you mean?

**speedygonzales** : i still havent met her??? is she jst you but evil????

**speedygonzales:** or is there like a whole different personality????

**newandimproved** : We’re quite similar actually

**newandimproved** : It’s more than a little discomforting

**smoakandmirrors** : ok but you know that doesn’t really mean anything right

**irisbest:** it really doesn’t

**irisbest** : and believe me, I've dealt with alternate universes a lot

**quicksort** : I second that

**newandimproved** : Still

**newandimproved** : It isn’t nice knowing that you weren’t that far from becoming a villain

**newandimproved** : Oh god sorry Iris

**irisbest** : none of this is your fault laurel

**irisbest** : and it’s true, I guess we never really know how close any of us are to that

**lancelot** : uh hey guys??? mind if i talk abt something happier????

**irisbest** : _please_

**lancelot** : so yall kno how i have a gf now???

**smoakandmirrors** : don’t use y’all

**lancelot** : ill use whatever i want and yallll like it

**smoakandmirrors** : that’s too many l’s????

**lancelot** : y’all’ll

**smoakandmirrors** : _no_

**newandimproved** : I see this is already going off to a great start

**lancelot** : w/e hypocrite

**newandimproved** : I swear to god Sara

**lancelot** : anyway

 

**lancelot** added **nr** to the group **laurellanceisahypocrite**

 

**lancelot** : so to everyone who hasnt met her, this is nyssa!!!!!

**nr** : Hello everyone

**quicksort** : hi! I'm jesse and I have this:

**quicksort** : [introductions.xls]

**quicksort** : it's a list of everyone's names, so you know who we all are!

**nr** : Thank you, though it wasn't needed

**quicksort:**  it wasn't??

**lancelot** : yh my bbys a spy, she already knos who u all r

**lancelot** : yep, even the other worlders and the timetravellers

**lancelot** : shes jst that good

**smoakandmirrors** : nice to see you're as terrifying as always

**nr** : Thank you

**speedygonzales** : hi again nyssa!!!!!

**nr** : Hello Thea

**speedygonzales** : cant believe ur dating this dork again

**lancelot** : hey??

**nr** : She is very lucky

**lancelot** : hey?????

**thirdtimesthecharm** : okay I already like you

**nr** : You’re Dinah, right? Laurel speaks highly of you

**thirdtimesthecharm** : really?

**newandimproved** : Of course

**newandimproved** : You’re the second best canary

**thirdtimesthecharm** : yeah I’ll take that

**lancelot** : oh is this jst pick on sara day?????

**speedygonzales** : when isnt it

**lancelot** : _dude_

**newandimproved** : Actually

 

**newandimproved** changed the group name to **nationalpickonsaralanceday**

**lancelot** : WOW

**lancelot** : so somebodys salty

**newandimproved** : Oh I wonder why

**irisbest** : wow you two really are unbelievable

**lancelot** : _um excuse me west????_

**newandimproved** : Excuse me???

**smoakandmirrors** : you know sometimes i’m so glad i’m an only child

**thirdtimesthecharm** : amen to that

**quicksort** : I always wanted a sister, but seeing you two I think I’m good

**lancelot** : u guys r jst jealous

**thirdtimesthecharm** : oh we’re really not

**lancelot** : ok listen here canary jr

**smoakandmirrors** : quick someone change the subject before she finishes

**irisbest** : actually I do have something to talk about

**lancelot** : goddamnit west

**quicksort** : so what's up?

**irisbest** : so

**irisbest** : did I ever tell you all that the love of my life is an idiot

**lancelot** : i mean we inferred

**nr** : I assume you’re talking about Barry Allen

**lancelot** : aw babe u listen to me

**irisbest** : do you really call him an idiot that much??

**nr** : She does

**lancelot** : at least once a conversation tbh

**newandimproved** : Has something happened?

**irisbest** : so he and cisco decided the best way to defeat savitar was to make sure that he didn’t remember how things played out the first time

**quicksort:** that makes sense

**irisbest** : so they gave barry amnesia

**quicksort** : oh

**quicksort** : oh no

**irisbest** : yep

**smoakandmirrors** : wait he actually did it???

**irisbest:** felicity

**smoakandmirrors** : yes

**irisbest** : why does it sound like you already knew about this

**irisbest** : felicity

**irisbest** : _felicity_

**smoakandmirrors** : …cisco maybe asked for my advice beforehand

**irisbest** : _and your advice was amnesia????_

**smoakandmirrors** : no!!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : he’d already decided to do that!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : i told him it wasn’t that great of an idea and i didn’t think he would actually do it!!!

**lancelot** : wow so thsi is what it feels like

**irisbest** : what

**lancelot** : nothing, dw

**irisbest** :  _lance_

**lancelot:** well jst u kno

**lancelot** : usually u guys r telling us that  _weve_ done something stupid so

**irisbest** : oh my god

**lancelot** : feels good

**irisbest** : do you have to be so smug

**lancelot** : oh absolutely

**quicksort** : guys, do you want me to come over?

**quicksort** : you don’t really have a bio person there, do you?

**irisbest** : that’s kind of you to ask, but no

**irisbest** : we’ve got someone

**quicksort** : you found a new biomedic???

**irisbest** : more like an old one

**quicksort** : ???

**irisbest** : caitlin’s here

**irisbest** : well, killer frost, whatever

**lancelot** : and shes helping u???

**irisbest** : reluctantly

**irisbest** : but yeah

**speedygonzales** : is she _here_ here???

**speedygonzales** : like back in the chat???

**snowqueen** : You know, I never actually left

**smoakandmirrors** : cait?

**snowqueen** : No

**snowqueen** : And I’m only talking to you people because I’ve got nothing else to do right now

**lancelot** : u ppl??? thats kind of…

**lancelot:** …

**newandimproved** : _Sara Lance don’t you dare_

**lancelot** : _cold_

**newandimproved** : Sara no

**snowqueen:** You know that there isn’t exactly anything stopping me from just killing these people, right?

**irisbest** : cisco would stop you

**snowqueen** : Please

**snowqueen** : Vibe isn’t that powerful

**irisbest** : hey so you want us to call you killer frost? then you call us by _our_ names okay

**irisbest** : also cisco could kick your frozen ass from here to keystone and you know it

**snowqueen** : If you say so

**speedygonzales** : yo no offense but im p sure that felicity wasnt this much of an asshole when she went evil

**nr** : Felicity went evil?

**lancelot** : ehhh kind of????

**smoakandmirrors** : oh my god guys i went against the team for like 5 minutes

**smoakandmirrors** : wait, why are you helping team flash out anyway?

**snowqueen** : Because I am

**smoakandmirrors** : wow

**irisbest** : because if barry doesn’t remember then savitar won’t remember and then they can’t kill me

**snowqueen** : It’s not my plan

**irisbest** : yeah so fun fact that actually makes it worse

**snowqueen** : I honestly couldn’t care less

**irisbest** : oh boy this is fun

**speedygonzales** : wait so have u been reading these chats the whole time??????

**snowqueen** : Occasionally

**snowqueen** : Why

**speedygonzales** : sorry im jst thinking of u mid evil plan and then ur phone beeps and its sara talking bout gay shit

**lancelot** : that does sound like me

**snowqueen** : It’s still not my plan

**irisbest** : yeah that’s still not any better

**nr** : Then what is your plan?

**snowqueen** : And you are?

**nr** : Nyssa

**lancelot** : my gf!!!!!!

**snowqueen** : You’re telling me you actually took her back?

**nr** : It was mutual, as every good relationship should be

**nr** : And you did not answer my question

**snowqueen** : Why would I tell you anything?

**nr** : I don’t believe you can

**nr** : You don’t have a plan, do you?

**nr** : I didn’t, when I was as lost as you seem to be

**nr** : It took a lot of time and effort to get myself back from that place, but I did. And I was forgiven

**nr** : I believe that you could be too

**nr** : Hello?

**irisbest** : I don’t think she’s going to reply

**nr** : I apologise, I didn’t mean to chase her away

**nr** : I should have stopped talking

**irisbest** : no, thank you

**irisbest** : it means a lot that you’d say that

**irisbest** : maybe it’s stupid to still hold out hope, but I do, so

**irisbest** : and she hasn’t left the group, so I guess that’s something

**lancelot** : in the meantime, im gonna tlk abt a lot of gay shit so she always has smthing to look at

**irisbest** : wow what a sacrifice

**lancelot** : just doing my bit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter took me a while to write because i kept hitting a wall when it came to cait and her reasons for joining up with savitar, mainly because we were never told what they were. ha ha oh flash writers
> 
> so i was gonna write up to the season finales and then, depending on what happened in the new seasons, either start a new story or continue this one, or just finish the whole thing altogether. but now the new seasons have started and if i keep writing then i'd probably end up ignoring a lot of canon (though tbf i guess i'm kinda doing that already)? so uh yeah, what do you think?


	30. in which sibling relationships are a strange thing and alex danvers needs a break and also a hug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka hello can these people please get some therapy please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i guess i'm continuing this thing? i know i'm not the best (or the most punctual) but i really like writing it and people seem to like reading it, so uh yeah. still not sure whether to make a separate fic or not though.
> 
> i'm going to ignore a lot more canon after the season finales, but some things: sanvers aren't going to break up and neither are wally and jesse (though also i maybe accidentally started writing director sanvers???), zari's definitely going to show up and hopefully so will ava and sam (who's going to get a happy ending in this no matter what actually happens) and killer frost (since she's her own character now??? what), and i'm straight up ignoring like 90% of the crossover

**puppydanvers** joined the group **nationalpickonsaralanceday**

 

**puppydanvers** : hey guys, hope I’m not interrupting anything?

**smoakandmirrors** : oh hey kara!!! how are you?

**lancelot** : hey kara is it bad none of us noticed u guys were gone

**newandimproved** : Oh my god Sara

**puppydanvers** : _I’m_ fine

**puppydanvers** : and no, I understand how hectic your lives are

**smoakandmirrors** : what do you mean _you’re_ fine??? did something happen???

**puppydanvers** : sorry to go silent but we were looking for alex

**smoakandmirrors** : what????????

**agentdanvers** : it’s okay I’m fine

**rideordie** : you shouldnt be on the phone babe

**agentdanvers** : I’m _fine_ sawyer

**agentdanvers** : besides I can’t fall asleep, j’onn is making lucy look after me since you left

**betterthanyou** : hey!!! dont be so ungrateful!!! there r many ppl who wud love to have me at their bedside!!!!

**agentdanvers** : so if I fall asleep you won’t draw on my face with magic marker huh

**betterthanyou** : no

**irisbest** : yeah I’m in a whole different universe and I still felt the complete insincerity of that

**lancelot** : different universe _and_ different time and i felt it

**newandimproved** : What happened?

**agentdanvers** : ugh

**agentdanvers** : got kidnapped

**newandimproved** : Are you okay??

**lancelot** : wtf danvers

**smoakandmirrors** : oh my god are you ok????

**agentdanvers** : I’ve been worse

**lancelot** : _seriously wtf danvers_

**agentdanvers** : but yeah it sucked

**agentdanvers** : but kara and maggie found me

**rideordie** : but not before alex pulled out these special forces moves

**rideordie** : _amazing_

**agentdanvers** : you’re really impressed huh

**rideordie** : im dating a badass

**agentdanvers** : yeah you are

**betterthanyou** : _kara and maggie?????_

**agentdanvers** : oh yeah of course how could I forget j’onn?

**agentdanvers** : and lena obviously

**theboss** : Thanks Alex!

**agentdanvers** : you’re welcome!!

**agentdanvers:** and I think james and winn were there too?

**agentdanvers** : oh and can’t forget vasquez!

**betterthanyou** : oh ur so lucky i dont hit injured ppl

**agentdanvers** : you hit me ten minutes ago

**betterthanyou** : that was a friendly tap!!!!

**agentdanvers** : and really I’m fine

**agentdanvers** : I’d like to talk about literally anything else though if you don’t mind

**agentdanvers** : besides I’m so bored in this bed what did I miss

**smoakandmirrors** : are you sure???

**agentdanvers** : really

**agentdanvers** : like for starters, what’s up with the new group name???

**lancelot:** ugh

**newandimproved** : Sara was being facetious

**lancelot** : oh pls we all kno big words laurel

**irisbest:** oh come on guys don’t start this up again

**lancelot** : excuse u i didnt start anything

**newandimproved** : Except you literally did???

**agentdanvers** : I’m sorry if I started something?

**speedygonzales** : jst petty sibling arguing

**betterthanyou** : ah

 

**smoakandmirrors** changed the group name to **bothlancesaregreat**

**smoakandmirrors** : happy now????

**lancelot** : ...maybe

**newandimproved** : ...maybe

**smoakandmirrors** : how am i friends with you two you’re both children

**lancelot** : i mean u were friends w/ ollie 1st tho????

**speedygonzales** : ooooh

**newandimproved** : You can’t mock Ollie when he’s not here to defend himself

**lancelot** : ur disagreeing w/ me?????

**newandimproved** : I never said that

**speedygonzales** : _oooooooh_

**theboss** : So what did happen? If I can ask?

**lancelot** : oh yh sure ask away lets tell every1

**newandimproved** : If you even think of calling me a hypocrite again then I will physically travel to your location and punch you

**puppydanvers** : ??????

**lancelot** : as opposed to _mentally_ travelling to my location

**newandimproved** : Oh just try me

**smoakandmirrors** : so laurel’s evil twin decided to break out of prison and flirt with laurel

**smoakandmirrors:** and sara’s acting like a brat because laurel yelled at her for for trying to make out with her alt future self

**smoakandmirrors** : and so she thinks it’s a bit hypocritical

**puppydanvers** : ???????????

**rideordie** : how is every word in that sentence stranger than the last?????

**agentdanvers** : once again, your earth is ridiculous

**irisbest** : black siren’s from jesse’s earth actually

**theboss** : Is that a thing on your earth?? You flirting with yourselves???

**speedygonzales** : it’s a lance thing

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I really hope it’s just them, and not a canary thing

**newandimproved** : Once again, I didn’t flirt back!!

**newandimproved** : And hey so maybe let’s talk about something else??

**newandimproved** : Something that doesn’t involve me??

**lancelot** :yh sure ok

**newandimproved** : Oh

**newandimproved** : Thanks Sara

**lancelot** : allen wiped his own memories!!!!

**irisbest** : _thanks sara_

**agentdanvers** : ????????

**rideordie** : wait you can do that??

**theboss** : Why?

**agentdanvers** : _why would he do that_

**irisbest** : you’ve just been waiting to bring that up haven’t you

**lancelot** : oh yh totally

**lancelot** : ive programmed it into the ships calendar as a ship wide holiday

**lancelot** : im probably gonna get it written on one of my tombstones

**theboss** : One of??

**agentdanvers** : don’t even ask

**irisbest** : and it’s a long story but he did have a reason

**lancelot** : the reason is hes an idiot

**irisbest** : and they’re back now anyway

**irisbest** : because killer frost helped. which is also a long story

**irisbest** : things are just _awesome_ down in central

**theboss** : Killer Frost?

**irisbest** : like I said, long story

**irisbest** : but caitlin’s now a supervillain

**irisbest** : somehow

**irisbest** : and she’s still lurking around in the chat, so I guess be careful about what you say

**puppydanvers** : I hope you’re okay, caitlin

**irisbest** : she probably won’t reply, but thanks

**irisbest** : maybe we could talk about something else that happened??

**irisbest** : sara???

**lancelot** : what???

**nr** : I believe she’s referring to me

**puppydanvers** : um hello???

**nr** : Hello

**lancelot** : oh yh also i got back w/ the love of my life nbd

**puppydanvers** : oh are you nyssa??!!!!

**nr** : I am, it’s nice to meet you

**rideordie** : are you really a ninja assassin? because no offense lance, but i dont really believe half of what you say

**lancelot** : fair

**nr** : I was, but I’m retired

**betterthanyou** : oh

**lancelot** : didnt u kill some1 yesterday

**nr** : Yes, but I wasn’t hired to do it

**rideordie** : wow okay so this is your reminder that im a cop

**thirdtimesthecharm** : believe me, it won’t do much

**lancelot** : ha pls u cud be the best cop in the world and u still woudnt be able to arrest nyssa

**nr** : Thanks love

**lancelot** : :D

**betterthanyou** : ugghhh i was jst abt to say u guys r worse than these 2

**betterthanyou:** and then alex said ‘she _is_ the best cop in the world’

**agentdanvers** : damnit lucy

**rideordie** : thanks babe!!!

**puppydanvers** : aww!!! you guys are all really cute!!!

**nr** : I’m not cute

**newandimproved** : Oh don’t call Nyssa cute, she’ll break your nose

**puppydanvers** : ?????

**nr** : Are you still complaining about that?

**lancelot** : wait what happened???????

**newandimproved** : It _hurt_ Nys!!!

**nr** : Then you should have ducked

**newandimproved** : I wasn’t expecting it!!!

**nr** : That’s your problem, not mine

**speedygonzales** : _damn nyssa_

**lancelot:** jsyk im mentally hi fiving u rite now

**lancelot** : oh i love u so much

**nr** : I love you too

**newandimproved** : I’m so glad that you two can bond over mocking me

**lancelot:** r u rlly gonna stand there and try to tell me that at least 50% of ur friendship isnt based on mocking me

**newandimproved** : Well

**newandimproved** : It’s probably closer to 60%

**nr** : I’d say at least three quarters

**lancelot** : see???

**betterthanyou** : so ur rship w/ each sister revolves around mocking the other?

**nr** : I suppose so

**speedygonzales** : its the lance way

**newandimproved** : Huh

**newandimproved** : I’d never thought about, but a lot of my relationships involve mocking my sister?

**lancelot** : dude same????

**lancelot** : i guess it’s a sibling thing

**speedygonzales** : oh definitely

**betterthanyou** : ppl that wont mock my sis w/ me arent even allowed in my life tbh

**irisbest** : no??? it isn’t??? you just have messed up relationships with your siblings???

**lancelot** : iris anne west do you really want to continue this conversation

**lancelot** : do you really

**puppydanvers** : we don’t really do that, do we alex?

**agentdanvers** : not really

**betterthanyou:** only bc ur weirdly codependent

**puppydanvers** : no we just have a healthy relationship??

**agentdanvers** : some of us like to talk to our siblings more than once every two years??

**betterthanyou** : i kno thats probably a dig but actually im proud of that record so

**agentdanvers** : but sure, we’re the ones with the unhealthy relationship

**nr** : For some people, it’s healthier to be apart than together

**lancelot** : oh man sorry nys i forgot how much we hate ur sis

**nr** : You’ve only met her once, and she was only a child then

**lancelot** : yh but u hate her so

**lancelot** : solidarity

**speedygonzales** : also she kidnapped my brother

**lancelot** : yh that too

**puppydanvers** : wait what?? is oliver okay??

**speedygonzales** : hes getting there

**speedygonzales** : oh god sorry alex i didnt mean to bring this stuff up again

**puppydanvers** : no thea it’s not your fault

**speedygonzales** : still

**puppydanvers** : alex??

**rideordie** : alex???

**betterthanyou** : guys!!!!!

**betterthanyou** : alex fell asleep!!!!

**puppydanvers** : oh thank rao, finally

**newandimproved** : Is she okay?

**puppydanvers** : I don’t know

**puppydanvers** : alex is always the strong one and I don’t know what I’m meant to do in this situation

**puppydanvers** : what do I do? how do I help her?

**newandimproved** : Just be there for her

**speedygonzales** : make sure she always knos when 1 of u is behind her

**speedygonzales:** and i kno its hard but dont crowd her?? jst like let her kno ur always there if needed

**lancelot** : find whatever triggers her and try to decrease her exposure to it, but like not w/o her consent ok

**lancelot** : go through everything w/ her 1st

**rideordie** : that’s gonna be hard

**puppydanvers** : yeah

**rideordie** : we’ll do it though, obviously

**puppydanvers** : of course

**lancelot** : what do u mean?

**lancelot** : guys?

**rideordie** : he tried to drown her

**puppydanvers** : so I’m guessing water is going to be a trigger

**speedygonzales** : probably yeah

**lancelot** : is he alive

**rideordie** : yes, and he’s staying that way

**rideordie** : we don’t just kill people here, even ones who deserve it

**newandimproved** : We don’t really just kill people here either

**lancelot** : js, i could be in and out of the prison b4 anybody even noticed i was on ur earth

**puppydanvers:** thanks for the offer, but no

**newandimproved** : Kara, are _you_ okay?

**puppydanvers** : ?????

**puppydanvers:** I wasn’t the one who was kidnapped????

**newandimproved** : No, but I know from experience how much of a toll seeing your sister hurt and not being able to do anything about it can take

**lancelot** : sorry

**newandimproved** : Don’t apologize dumbass it wasn’t your fault

**lancelot** : love u

**newandimproved** : Yeah yeah

**newandimproved:** Love you too

**newandimproved** : I’m just saying Kara, don’t hold it all in? And speak to Alex about this okay?

**newandimproved** : It won’t help either of you if you spend the whole time blaming yourself

**puppydanvers** : I know, but I should have found her sooner

**rideordie** : yh? well I shouldve too

**rideordie** : and j’onn and james and winn and everyone at the deo

**puppydanvers** : it’s not the same

**thirdtimesthecharm:** believe me, the only person to blame for any of this is the bastard that took her

**thirdtimesthecharm** : and the sooner you can believe that, the sooner you can heal

**smoakandmirrors** : oh god sorry dinah are you ok??

**thirdtimesthecharm** : it’s fine

**thirdtimesthecharm** : this seems to happen a lot in this line of work

**thirdtimesthecharm** : it’s probably really not good to say I’m getting used to it

**newandimproved** : Probably not, but I think we’re all getting to that same level of numbness

**irisbest** : same here

**lancelot** : healthy coping mechanisms??? never heard of them

**lancelot** : if u ever see me deal w/ something in a healthy way then its not me its an imposter

**lancelot** : and tbh u should probably shoot both of us jst 2 b sure

**speedygonzales** : SAME

**smoakandmirrors:** god, we’re such a happy healthy group of people

**lancelot** : its part of our charm

**puppydanvers** : lucy

**betterthanyou** : yh

**puppydanvers** : you’re being quiet

**betterthanyou** : am i

**puppydanvers** : lucy

**betterthanyou** : yh

**puppydanvers** : please don’t draw on alex’s face

**betterthanyou** : hmmm

**puppydanvers** : don’t do it lucy!!!

**speedygonzales** : do it

**lancelot** : _do it do it do it do it_

**puppydanvers** : guys no!!!!

**betterthanyou** : .........hmmmmm

**puppydanvers** : help me out here maggie!!!

**rideordie** : no do it i think itd be hilarious

**betterthanyou** : i knew i liked u sawyer

**puppydanvers** : _guys_

**betterthanyou** : ugh fine

**betterthanyou** : im not gonna draw on alexs face

**speedygonzales** : booooo

**puppydanvers** : _thank you_

 

**agentdanvers** changed their name to **agentdamnvers**

**puppydanvers** : damnit lucy!!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was originally shorter and then i remembered how supergirl has never really touched on this again or delved into it???


	31. in which sara lance is /definitely/ a responsible captain and obliviousness is a danvers family trait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka subtext what subtext

**newandimproved** : ughhh

**lancelot** : whats up??

**newandimproved** : The judges in this city are idiots

**smoakandmirrors** : you don’t mean all of them

**newandimproved** : _Yes I do_

**agentdamnvers** : did you just lose a case?

**newandimproved** : Oh I wish

**betterthanyou** : ?????

**newandimproved** : Hey so you know how the da turned out to be a serial killer

**theboss** : They did??

**betterthanyou** : yh?

**newandimproved** : Well they’ve just decided to overturn all of his convictions

**betterthanyou:** wait _all_ of them???

**newandimproved** : Yep

**betterthanyou** : _shit_

**newandimproved** : Yep

**thirdtimesthecharm** : including the zombie guy

**quicksort** : including the what???

**betterthanyou** : ZOMBIE?????

**agentdamnvers** : what

**irisbest** : oh you have one of those too?

**agentdamnvers** : _what_

**smoakandmirrors** : yeah but ours isn’t a meta

**smoakandmirrors** : well actually no i guess he kind of is???

**smoakandmirrors:** he didn’t get his abilities from the particle accelerator though

**lancelot** : ur not talking abt like actual zombies tho r u????

**lancelot** : bc those r the worst

**smoakandmirrors** : ...kind of? he came back from the dead?

**smoakandmirrors** : he’s not like all shuffling and moaning though

**smoakandmirrors** : apart from the coming back from dead thing, he’s mostly normal??

**thirdtimesthecharm** : well apart from the fact that he can’t feel pain either, which is just _awesome_

**irisbest** : ours came back from the dead too, and he had super strength

**irisbest** : and he _did_ shuffle and moan

**irisbest** : it was kind of terrifying

**quicksort** : when did that happen???

**irisbest** : when you were in a coma

**quicksort** : ah

**speedygonzales** : u were in a coma???

**quicksort** : only a little one

**lancelot** : oh no i was talking abt _zombie_ zombies

**lancelot** : like ones that if they bite u, u turn into 1???

**thirdtimesthecharm** : they exist??

**lancelot** : i mean they did but now they dont???

**lancelot** : so ur welcome

**betterthanyou** : i cant believe ur universe has _zombies_

**puppydanvers** : winn’s going to be so jealous

**agentdamnvers** : once again, I’m so glad that I don’t live in your universe

**lancelot** : but this universe has me?????

**agentdamnvers** : I know you think that’s a good argument, but it’s really not

**lancelot** : _damn danvers_

**betterthanyou** : _oh cmon lance_

**agentdamnvers** : ?????

**puppydanvers** : _uh oh_

**agentdamnvers** : LUCY NO MIDDLE NAME LANE

**betterthanyou:** whoops

 

**agentdamnvers** changed their name to **agentdanvers**

 

**betterthanyou** : boooo

**lancelot** : i thought shed already noticed!!! isnt she meant 2 b like a secret agent?????

**agentdanvers** : I'm literally right here

**betterthanyou** : change it back!!!!

**agentdanvers** : no

**betterthanyou** : but was i wrong tho????

**puppydanvers** : oh go on alex!!!

**agentdanvers** : ugh fine

 

**agentdanvers** changed their name to **agentdamnvers**

 

**betterthanyou** : oh sure u do it when _kara_ asks u

**agentdamnvers** : yes, because I actually love _kara_

**lancelot** : DAMN DANVERS

**betterthanyou** : oh no im so hurt

**agentdamnvers** : yeah yeah

**speedygonzales** : hey guys in other news, its ollies bday in abt a week

**puppydanvers** : !!!!!

**speedygonzales** : hes gonna b 32, which is _ridiculous_

**lancelot** : NO HES NOT

**newandimproved** : Yes he is??

**lancelot** : HOW

**smoakandmirrors** : time tends to go in one direction for us guys

**lancelot** : I DIDNT ASK 4 THE CHEEK FLISS

**lancelot** : oh boy so im prob older than 32??? what???

**theboss** : You don’t know how old you are??

**lancelot** : noooo

**quicksort** : wait, really???

**lancelot** : i mean gideon probably does tho

**nr** : Maybe you should ask her?

**lancelot** : lol no i dont think so im happy 2 live in ignorance tyvm

**puppydanvers** : are we invited to the party???

**speedygonzales** : oh yh sure

**agentdamnvers** : well, if we can make it

**speedygonzales** : oh thats ok

**speedygonzales** : i mean i think team flash were planning on stopping by?

**irisbest** : we’ll definitely try

**speedygonzales** : well yh nobodyll blame u if u cant make it

**irisbest** : barry’ll still probably speed over with gifts though, even if the rest of us can’t

**speedygonzales** : and like i guess nyssas _probably_ free

**nr** : I’m not going

**speedygonzales** : yh i figured

**speedygonzales** : like r u actually free tho or do u jst not want to go

**nr** : No

**speedygonzales** : yh i shouldve seen that coming

**speedygonzales** : and really the legends should be there

**lancelot** : i mean yh we _should_

**speedygonzales** : sara

**lancelot** : thea

**smoakandmirrors** : come on sara, you guys have got to come and visit!

**smoakandmirrors** : i haven’t see ray in ages!

**lancelot** : wow smoak

**smoakandmirrors** : _please_

**lancelot** : ill think abt it

**lancelot** : were like super busy tho

**speedygonzales** : _time travel_

**lancelot** : i kno but like, _super_ busy

**theboss** : I’m sorry to interrupt, but I have to leave

**puppydanvers** : what’s up???

**theboss:** Nothing’s wrong, I just have a very important meeting to get to

**speedygonzales** : oh no thats ok!!!!

**puppydanvers** : is it the secret project??

**smoakandmirrors** : secret project???

**theboss** : Don’t worry, it’s nothing nefarious

**theboss** : We just wanted to get it up and running before we release any information to the press about it

**betterthanyou** : have fun w/ whatever nerd thing ur doing!!!!

**theboss** : Thanks Lucy

**puppydanvers** : are you okay getting there?

**puppydanvers** : do you need a lift?

**theboss** : I’m fine thanks Kara

**theboss** : We’re still on for lunch tomorrow, right?

**puppydanvers** : you mean at noonan’s? ;P

**theboss** : You know perfectly well that it’s at the new vegan place

**puppydanvers** : oh no!!! you know how much I hate that kind of food!!

**theboss** : Only because you’re not used to it

**puppydanvers** : I don’t even need it!! I’m an alien!!

**theboss** : I’m going to get you to eat a proper meal one day

**puppydanvers** : no you won’t!!! :D

**theboss** : So I guess we’re at an impasse

**puppydanvers** : I bet I can wear you down, no one can resist my charm!!

**theboss** : I’ve spent enough time around you that I think I’m starting to build up a resistance

**puppydanvers** : challenge accepted!!

**theboss** : See you later :)

 

**theboss** has left the group

 

**puppydanvers** : I hope she has fun at her meeting

**puppydanvers** : guys??

**puppydanvers** : hello?????

**speedygonzales** : …so is any1 gonna say it

**puppydanvers** : say what?

**irisbest** : I mean really someone has to

**puppydanvers** : guys, say what???

**lancelot** : kara

**puppydanvers** : what????

**lancelot** : kara

**puppydanvers** : what???????

**lancelot** : kara that was the gayest thing ive seen all day and i literally had sex w/ a woman like 2 hrs ago

**nr** : You’re welcome

**lancelot** : thanks babe!!!

**newandimproved** : Sara Why

**lancelot** : whoops

**lancelot** : SORRY

**newandimproved** : No you’re not

**lancelot** : damn u kno me 2 well

**newandimproved** : Please tell me you didn’t just use the waverider for a booty call

**lancelot** : what!!! no!!!

**lancelot** : i would never i am a responsible captain

**lancelot** : i used the jumpship

**nr** : Please don’t refer to me as a ‘booty call’

**newandimproved** : Then please don’t talk about my little sister’s sex life in front of me!!!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : i don’t think rip would be happy to know what you’re using timetravel for

**lancelot** : ok so long story but thats actually hilarious

**smoakandmirrors** : ????

**lancelot** : sorry future knowledge!!! ill tell u later!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : how much later??

**lancelot** : ehhh

**speedygonzales** : ‘super busy’ huh

**lancelot** : ok but im never too busy for nys tho

**nr** : Nor am I for you

**newandimproved** : Yeah yeah we get it

**lancelot** : but apart from that i am actually rlly busy

**lancelot** : it ties into the whole future knowledge thing

**smoakandmirrors** : you can’t just use ‘future knowledge’ as an excuse to get out of things you don’t want to do

**lancelot** : can and will

**lancelot** : anyway what were we talking abt???

**betterthanyou** : about how gay kara and lena are for each other

**lancelot** : ooooh right yh continue

**puppydanvers** : no I’m good

**agentdamnvers** : I would also not like to talk about my sister’s dating life please

**agentdamnvers** : I’m not as comfortable with it as some people

**newandimproved** : _What does that mean_

**newandimproved** : _Sara Lance what have you been doing_

**lancelot** : what nothing

**lancelot** : i have never spoken abt ur love life once in my entire life

**lancelot** : danvers is just trying to change the subject

**lancelot** : and y did u jst assume she was talking abt me anyway???

**newandimproved** : Because I know you???

**lancelot** : ha yh tru

**lancelot** : anyway

**lancelot** : kara and lena: discuss

**puppydanvers** : there’s nothing to discuss!!!!

**puppydanvers** : we’re just friends!!!

**irisbest** : oh honey no

**puppydanvers** : we are!!!

**puppydanvers** : tell them alex!!!

**agentdamnvers** : well.....

**puppydanvers** : alex!!!!!!

**agentdamnvers** : you do smile at her a lot kara

**puppydanvers** : I smile at everyone!!

**agentdamnvers** : not like this you don’t

**betterthanyou:** plus lena super wants in ur pants so

**agentdamnvers:** lucy no

**betterthanyou** : lol super

**betterthanyou** : am i lying?????

**speedygonzales** : so this has been going on for a while huh

**betterthanyou** : SO LONG

**agentdanvers** : yep

**rideordie** : it’s kind of ridiculous really

**puppydanvers** : like you two weren’t pining over each other when you first met???

**betterthanyou** : THATS AN ADMISSION

**puppydanvers** : NO IT WASNT!!!

**newandimproved** : .....it kind of felt like it was??

**thirdtimesthecharm** : oh definitely

**rideordie** : sorry kara, you’re outnumbered here

**puppydanvers** : why do I have to know so many people in law enforcement

**betterthanyou** : !!!!!!!!

**puppydanvers** : that’s still not an admission!!!

**betterthanyou** : uggghhh u guys wont get together 4 _yrs_ at this point

**lancelot** : cant u do something???

**puppydanvers** : no????

**betterthanyou** : oh believe me, weve tried everything

**puppydanvers** : sorry what

**speedygonzales** : WAIT HAVE U GUYS BEEN TRYING TO SET THEM UP?????

**betterthanyou** : well obvs

**rideordie** : we have a groupchat dedicated to just that

**lancelot** : huh

**lancelot** : nice idea

**newandimproved** : ........ _Sara_

**lancelot** : what i was just expressing my admiration?????

**puppydanvers** : _so who’s in this group_

**rideordie** : sorry little danvers, i’m sworn to secrecy

**betterthanyou** : me maggie winn cat and jess

**rideordie** : wow so i guess now we know which of us would give up under torture first

**quicksort** : why would you need to know that????

**puppydanvers** : CAT???????

**lancelot** : whos cat??

**agentdamnvers** : kara’s ex boss

**betterthanyou** : and her bi awakening

**puppydanvers** : I knew I was bi even before I met cat!!!!

**betterthanyou** : omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**puppydanvers** : and I didn’t have a crush on her!!!!!

**agentdamnvers** : yeah you kinda did

**betterthanyou** : see??? even _alex_ noticed

**agentdamnvers** : ??????

**betterthanyou** : no offense babe but i threw myself at u 4 a good solid few months and u didnt even notice so

**puppydanvers** : you did????

**agentdamnvers** : you did???????

**betterthanyou** : oh believe me i was not subtle

**rideordie** : oh yeah i can see that

**agentdamnvers** : what

**rideordie** : i thought you two were exes at first?

**lancelot** : same????

**betterthanyou** : fair

**agentdamnvers** : no not fair what the hell?????

**betterthanyou** : ugggghhhhh

**betterthanyou** : ok wait a sec

 

**betterthanyou** created the group **whatever**

 

**betterthanyou** added **agentdamnvers** to the group **whatever**

 

**betterthanyou** : ok better

**betterthanyou** : ok so its _fine_ danvers im not like pining or anything

**betterthanyou** : u didnt return my feelings so i moved on

**betterthanyou** : i mean if i knew that u didnt kno u were gay then things mightve been different

**betterthanyo** u **:** but i didnt so it doesnt matter

**agentdamnvers** : you knew I was gay??

**betterthanyou** : yes alex i do in fact have working eyes

**betterthanyou** : i didnt say anything when u came out bc i kno how important that was 4 u

**betterthanyou** : but rest assured i was laughing inside bc like how could u not kno????

**betterthanyou** : ur such a gay mess i swear

**agentdamnvers** : thanks lane

**betterthanyou** : ;)

**agentdamnvers** : so does this change anything between us? now that I know that you used to have feelings for me?

**betterthanyou** : pls i dont have feelings what am i a nerd

**agentdamnvers** : _lucy_

**betterthanyou** : i never said that

**agentdamnvers** : ????

**betterthanyou:** that i used to have feelings for u

**agentdamnvers** : you literally just said it

**agentdamnvers** : why can you never take things seriously

**betterthanyou** : no, i never said that i _used_ to have feelings for u. u added the past tense

**betterthanyou** : and hey!!! i do take some things seriously!!!

**agentdamnvers** : still??

**betterthanyou** : well yh

**betterthanyou** : i mean yh ur a gay mess but like ur my gay mess

**betterthanyou** : well, not mine

**betterthanyou** : seriously alex, i get it, and im rlly not pining

**betterthanyou** : ur jst so happy w/ maggie so i never rlly saw the point of bringing it up

**betterthanyou** : tho i guess now u kno

**betterthanyou** : [tmyk.mp3]

**agentdamnvers** : did you just send me a clip of the more you know theme in the middle of a love confession

**betterthanyou** : did u rlly expect anything else from me

**betterthanyou** : and look danvers we dont even have to talk abt this rlly

**betterthanyou** : so yh anyway

**agentdamnvers** : don’t be stupid

**agentdamnvers** : we can talk like rational adults

**betterthanyou** : whats 1 of those again????

**agentdamnvers** : just come over idiot

**betterthanyou** : y agent danvers,,,,, i _never_

**agentdamnvers** : lucy

**betterthanyou** : yh yh ill b there in 10

**betterthanyou** : hey alex

**agentdamnvers** : yeah?

**betterthanyou** : so whatever happens, im still ur bff yh???

**agentdamnvers** : of course

**betterthanyou** : well 2nd bff, after that weird thing u have w/ kara

**agentdamnvers** : for the 20th time, _it’s not weird to be friends with your sister_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and then they have a heartfelt and clear conversation where they openly talk about their emoti- lol no this is alex and lucy we're talking about. they'll get there though.
> 
> my favourite thing about kara and lena is that i don't even have to exaggerate anything, they really are just like That


	32. in which felicity smoak takes a risk and dinah drake has gone mia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka the party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy holidays!!! families can suck but you don't!!!!! eat some crap food and watch some good tv!!!!!! or vice versa!!!!!!!

**smoakandmirrors** created the group **hey**

 

 **smoakandmirrors** added **speedygonzales** to the group **hey**

 

 **speedygonzales** : oh hey felicity r u ok???

 **speedygonzales** : u jst left ollies party in a hurry???

 **smoakandmirrors** : hey so can i ask you something?

 **speedygonzales** : ......ok?

 **smoakandmirrors** : ok so you and sara have a pretty close relationship right

 **speedygonzales** : ?????

 **speedygonzales** : oh man i rlly hope ur not gonna ask me if im sleeping w/ her

 **smoakandmirrors** : oh my god no!!!!

 **speedygonzales** : bc u kno shes practically my sister

 **smoakandmirrors** : i know!!! i’d never ask that!!!

 **smoakandmirrors** : why is that the first place your mind goes to????????

 **speedygonzales** : so whats up then?

 **smoakandmirrors** : i was just wondering something

 **speedygonzales** : felicity, w/e it is, jst get it over w/

 **smoakandmirrors** : ok so do you think she follows the girl code???

 **speedygonzales** : um srry what

 **smoakandmirrors** : hypothetically speaking

 **speedygonzales** : ???????

 **speedygonzales** : u slept w/ her ex?????

 **smoakandmirrors** : no!!!

 **smoakandmirrors** : i mean ok technically yes????? i used to sleep with oliver

 **speedygonzales** : _gross_

 **smoakandmirrors** : but no that’s not what i mean

 **speedygonzales** : WAIT WAIT WAIT

 **speedygonzales** : DO U MEAN THE NOT SLEEPING W/ UR BFFS SIBLING THING?????

 **speedygonzales** : DID U SLEEP W/ LAUREL??????

 **speedygonzales** : GIVE ME ALL THE DEETS

 **speedygonzales** : by which i mean none of the deets bc shes also practically my sister

 **smoakandmirrors** : i didn’t sleep with laurel!!!!

 **speedygonzales** : aw damn

 **smoakandmirrors** : ????

 **speedygonzales** : well i bet 50 bucks ud be 2gether by now

 **speedygonzales** : well technically by yesterday but like u couldve jst lied to every1 else

 **smoakandmirrors** : YOU BET ON US????

 **speedygonzales** : yes???? obviously????

 **smoakandmirrors** : WHO ELSE?????

 **speedygonzales** : .....p much every1 whos ever met u nd laurel

 **smoakandmirrors** : THEA

 **speedygonzales** : dont blame me, saras the 1 who started it!!!

 **smoakandmirrors:** oh my god

 **speedygonzales** : and r u rlly surprised?????? _rlly_?????

 **speedygonzales** : i mean ur the 1 that brought it up???

 **speedygonzales:** so y did u even bring this up anyway

 **smoakandmirrors** : doesn’t matter

 **speedygonzales** : _felicity_

 **speedygonzales** : we both kno im not gonna let this go

 **speedygonzales** : or i cud ask laurel????

 **smoakandmirrors** : you wouldn’t

 **speedygonzales** : ????????

 **smoakandmirrors** : ok yeah we both know you would

 **smoakandmirrors** : ok fine

 **smoakandmirrors** : so

 **speedygonzales** : felicity megan smoak i swear to god!!!!

 **smoakandmirrors** : i kissed laurel at the party

 **speedygonzales** : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **speedygonzales** : U KISSEDHER!!!!!!!!!!!

 **speedygonzales** : WHAT HAPPENED WHAT WAS IT LIKE???????

 **speedygonzales** : BUT AGAIN NOT 2 MANY DETAILS PLS

 **smoakandmirrors** : it was a disaster

 **speedygonzales** : y what happened?????

 **speedygonzales** : felicity???

 **smoakandmirrors** : i ran

 **speedygonzales** : _no_

 **smoakandmirrors** : _yes_

 **speedygonzales** : _felicity_

 **smoakandmirrors** : _i know_

 **speedygonzales** : what r u going 2 do????

 **smoakandmirrors** : hopefully i’ll just die

 **speedygonzales** : omg

 **speedygonzales** : worse things have happened tho yh??

 **smoakandmirrors** : but have they though

 **speedygonzales** : yes!!!!

 **smoakandmirrors** : but i ruined everything and now she hates me

 **speedygonzales** : oh wow ok

 **speedygonzales** : yh so theres literally no way on earth that laurel could hate u

 **speedygonzales** : its kind of nauseating tbh

 **smoakandmirrors** : thanks

 **speedygonzales** : ur welcome

 **speedygonzales** : look, ngl this isnt rlly my thing

 **smoakandmirrors:** seriously???

 **smoakandmirrors** : you were _born_ for this kind of thing

 **speedygonzales** : i mean yh tru w/ any1 else, but u 2????

 **speedygonzales:** nah, we gotta call some1 else in 4 this

 

 **speedygonzales** added **lancelot** to the group **hey**

 

 **lancelot** : yo

 

 **smoakandmirrors** has left the group

 

 **lancelot** : wtf??????

 **speedygonzales** : read up the chat

 

 **speedygonzales** added **smoakandmirrors** to the group **hey**

 

 **speedygonzales** : coward

 **smoakandmirrors** : thea!!!!

 **lancelot** : _u kissed my sister and then ran????????_

 **speedygonzales** : have fun bye!!!!

 

 **speedygonzales** has left the group

 

 **smoakandmirrors** : thea!!!!!!!!

 **lancelot** : _explain urself_

 **smoakandmirrors:** but i don’t want you to beat me up

 **lancelot** : dont b an idiot felicity id never do that

 **smoakandmirrors:** only because you know laurel would do it herself

 **lancelot** : damn straight

 **smoakandmirrors** : i panicked ok!!!!

 **lancelot** : what y?????

 **smoakandmirrors** : because look at me!!! and then look at laurel!!!

 **lancelot** : NOPE

 **lancelot** : U SHUT THAT RIGHT TF DOWN NOW

 **lancelot** : BC U KNO DAMN WELL THAT LAUR WOULD BEAT UR ASS 4 THAT 2

 **lancelot** : UR MY BEST FRIEND AND I LOVE U AND DO U THINK ID DO THAT IF U WERENT AMAZING??????

 **lancelot** : OF COURSE NOT!!!!!

 **lancelot** : _god fliss_

 **lancelot** : and excuse me i dont kno what ur saying bc i made out w/ u once remember????

 **lancelot** : r u trying 2 say i have bad taste?????

 **smoakandmirrors** : that’s actually pretty uplifting?

 **lancelot** : hell yh it is, ur welcome

 **lancelot** : ok so

 **lancelot** : thea told u that i was betting on u 2 right

 **smoakandmirrors** : ......yes???

 **lancelot** : but did u also kno that ive been actively tryin 2 set u 2 up

 **lancelot** : 4 like a while now actually

 **smoakandmirrors** : no???? really??????

 **lancelot** : yup

 **lancelot** : wanna kno y???

 **lancelot** : its bc laurel smiles around u

 **lancelot** : like actually properly smiles

 **lancelot** : in a way i havent seen in like forever

 **lancelot** : she _likes_ you

 **lancelot** : and if u dont actually like her back, then u need 2 go shut down all of this negative shit and then go apologize 2 my sister

 **lancelot** : and if u _do_ like her back **,** then u need 2 go shut down all of this negative shit and then go apologize 2 my sister

 **lancelot** : and then kiss her again, for real this time

 **smoakandmirrors** : ok

 **smoakandmirrors** : yeah ok i’m going to do it!!!

 **lancelot** : which 1???????

 **smoakandmirrors** : the 2nd one!!!

 **lancelot** : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **lancelot** : ugh u couldnt have done this in like 2 weeks tho???

 **smoakandmirrors** : i’m guessing that’s the date you bet on?

 **smoakandmirrors** : wait, so if laurel actually wanted to date me, who would actually win the bet???

 **lancelot** : shut up laur does want to date u idiot

 **smoakandmirrors** : sara

 **lancelot** : uggggh

 **lancelot:** iris

 **lancelot** : fliss???

 **lancelot** : fliss u still there???

 **smoakandmirrors** : you gave me this pep talk even though you knew it would mean iris beats you????

 **lancelot** : i love u dumbass

 **lancelot** : more than any stupid bet

 **lancelot** : and like u kno that u gotta take ur chances when u get them right???

 **lancelot** : look im w/ nys now and everythings awesome

 **lancelot** : but i _died_ ok and so did laurel and im not saying something like thats gonna happen again anytime soon

 **lancelot** : and id never change the fact that the last person i spoke to that time round was laurel

 **lancelot** : not for anyone

 **lancelot** : but i do wish id rang nys up 1 last time to tell her i loved her

 **smoakandmirrors** : oh

 **lancelot** : so yeah

 **lancelot** : anyway

 **lancelot:** go!!! now!!!

 

 **smoakandmirrors** has left the group

 

 **lancelot**  deleted the group **hey**

 

 **lancelot** joined the group **operationlaugh**

 

 **lancelot** added **speedygonzales** , **allthatglitters** and **nr** to the group **operationlaugh**

 

 **speedygonzales** : _no_

 

 **lancelot** changed the group name to **operationSUCCESS!!!!**

**lancelot** : YES

 **speedygonzales** : !!!!!!!!!!!

 **speedygonzales** : WE DID IT GANG

 **lancelot** : i mean, it depends on what laur does, but lbr we all kno whats gonna happen

 **speedygonzales** : WE POPPIN BOTTLES IN THE CHAT 2NITE

 **lancelot** : speedy

 **speedygonzales** : yh yh bottles of ginger beer

 **irisbest** : WAIT WHAT?????

 **irisbest** : REALLY????????

 **puppydanvers** : YOURE SAYING YOU GOT FELICITY AND LAUREL TOGEHTER????????

 **agentdamnvers** : oh right, this

 **irisbest:**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **birb** : oh wow!!! that’s great!!

 **irisbest** : though I can’t believe you actually did it????

 **speedygonzales** : i mean sara had literally nothing to do w/ it

 **agentdamnvers** : okay yeah that makes sense

 **lancelot** : excuse u i gave an awesome pep talk????

 **allthatglitters** : good for you

 **birb:** oh hi, have we met???

 **allthatglitters** : lisa snart

 **irisbest** : caitlin’s girlfriend

 **allthatglitters** : hopefully

 **birb** : oh!!! it’s so nice to finally meet you!!               

 **allthatglitters** : should i know you?

 **birb** : I’m Kendra, I used to be on the same team as your brother?

 **allthatglitters** : right, the bird lady

 **birb** : well, yes

 **nr** : It’s good to meet you. Sara’s told me many stories about you

 **lancelot** : totally good 1s tho!!!

 **lancelot** : this is nyssa btw!!! were back 2gether now!!!!

 **birb** : oh hi!!!

 **birb** : I’m so happy for you guys!!!

 **nr** : Thank you

 **lancelot** : thanks babe!!!

 **speedygonzales** : so think yall can make it to a party round mine???

 **irisbest** : probably not, sorry

 **puppydanvers** : yes!!!

 **agentdamnvers** : no

 **puppydanvers** : no

 **birb** : sorry, I’m not exactly nearby?

 **nr** : I’m dealing with an urgent matter

 **speedygonzales** : boooo!!!!

 **nr** : People will die if I leave now, Thea

 **speedygonzales:** excuses excuses

 **lancelot** : i can make it tho!!!

 **speedygonzales** : see!!!! a tru friend!!!!

 **nr** : Aren’t you meant to be looking after the timeline?

 **lancelot** : it mostly looks after itself tbh

 **birb** : no it doesn’t

 **lancelot** : ugghh fine

 **lancelot** : sorry thea but ive got 2 do my stupid job

 **agentdamnvers:** you’re literally looking after the whole of reality

 **lancelot** : huh,,,, ur right,,,,, i _am_ super important

 **agentdamnvers:** not even close to what I said

 **speedygonzales** : aw cmon guys rlly???

 **speedygonzales** : no1???

 **allthatglitters** : sorry little queen, but ive got stuff to do

 **speedygonzales** : crime?

 **allthatglitters** : of course

 **puppydanvers** : oh

 **speedygonzales** : ugghhh

 **lancelot** : y dont u call the bby team round?

 **speedygonzales** : oooh ok

 **speedygonzales:** gotta remember to get curtis to swing round dinahs then and see if shes in

 **lancelot:** she didnt go to the party???

 **speedygonzales** : nope she skipped it

 **lancelot** : lol get rekt ollie

 **irisbest** : WAIT A MINUTE, THIS MEANS I WON THE BET!!!!!

 **speedygonzales** : ohhh no

 **lancelot** : oh i was hoping ud forget

 **nr** : You bet on Laurel’s love life?

 **lancelot** : obvs

 **birb** : really guys??

 **irisbest** : PAY UP LADIES!!!!

 **agentdamnvers** : of course they did

 **puppydanvers** : ....*we did

 **agentdamnvers** : really kara? really?

 **allthatglitters** : i guess its time for me to make an exit

 **allthatglitters** : give the happy couple my best

 

 **allthatglitters** has left the group

 

 **lancelot** : hey so

 **lancelot:** some1 close 2 me jst took a leap w/ their love life

 **lancelot** : even tho they thought they mightve messed up, theyre still trying

 **lancelot** : and in all likelihood, everythings gonna turn out alright

 **lancelot** : bc i guess its weird the things we can forgive when we love some1 huh

 

 **snowqueen** has left the group

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sara: i love u dumbass, more than any stupid bet  
> felicity: *the smallest of gasps*
> 
> (i'm not saying iris got cisco to tell her when to place her bet but i _am_ saying that there are a lot of benefits to being friends with a psychic ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯)


	33. in which lisa snart needs a distraction and helena bertinelli is a child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka heist heist baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is late, i've been getting back into the swing of things at uni  
> have two chapters to make up for it

**allthatglitters** created the group **imboredletsdocrime**

**allthatglitters** added **beammeupshawna** and **shotthrutheheart** to the group **imboredletsdocrime**

 

**beammeupshawna** : are you ok????

**allthatglitters** : peachy

**shotthrutheheart** : y wouldnt she be ok???

**shotthrutheheart** : did something happen???

**beammeupshawna** : yh her girlfriend had a mental breakdown and became a supervillain and is now trying to murder her friends

**allthatglitters** : thats not exactly what happened

**shotthrutheheart** : is that bad or good

**beammeupshawna** : ?????????

**allthatglitters** : bad

**shotthrutheheart** : arent u a supervillain 2 tho?????

**allthatglitters** : this is my choice

**allthatglitters** : well mostly

**allthatglitters** : she didnt choose to be like that and im not going to take advantage of her in this state

**shotthrutheheart** : oh

**shotthrutheheart** : and ur choosing to deal with this with crime?

**allthatglitters** : yep

**shotthrutheheart** : _nice_

**shotthrutheheart** : count me in

**beammeupshawna** : so what exactly are we pulling off?

**shotthrutheheart** : ok so im up for anything

**shotthrutheheart** : wait no not murder

**shotthrutheheart** : im trying to cut back on that

**shotthrutheheart** : tho i did kill some ppl when i was helping out the legends

**shotthrutheheart** : but it doesnt count i was doinf that for good reasons

**beammeupshawna** : no i think it still counts???

**allthatglitters** : and the rogues dont kill anyway

**allthatglitters** : or hurt innocent people

**beammeupshawna** : remind me to hit your brother for making that deal

**shotthrutheheart** : !!!!!

**shotthrutheheart** : what abt a heist??????

**shotthrutheheart** : ive always wanted to do a heist!!!!

**allthatglitters** : we dont have enough people

**shotthrutheheart** : 3 isnt enough????

**allthatglitters** : not for a _proper_ heist

**beammeupshawna** : we need at least six

**shotthrutheheart:** 6???

**shotthrutheheart** : what for????

**allthatglitters** : mastermind, getaway driver, hacker, inside man, thief, distraction

**shotthrutheheart:** wow i didnt realize u needed that many??

**beammeupshawna** : have you never seen oceans 11

**beammeupshawna** : they need 11 people thats like the whole point

**shotthrutheheart:** ok so sign me up for getaway driver

**allthatglitters** : thought thatd be too slow for you

**shotthrutheheart** : only if u dont get into police chases

**shotthrutheheart** : which i do

**shotthrutheheart:** pretty much every time i get behind a wheel

**allthatglitters** : of course you do

**shotthrutheheart** : what can i say, im just that good

 

**boom** joined the group **imboredletsdocrime**

 

**boom** : Now this looks like fun

**shotthrutheheart:** wtf?????

**allthatglitters** : _ok i know for a fact that this groups on private_

**boom** : Cute

**shotthrutheheart** : ok so im not the only one who doesnt kno this person right???

**beammeupshawna:** i dont think so???

**allthatglitters** : same here

**boom** : Mystery is one of life’s wonders

**shotthrutheheart** : hey so u kinda sound like an asshole

**shotthrutheheart** : not saying thats a bad thing i jst wasnt sure if u were aware

**beammeupshawna** : how did you even know how to get onto here???

**boom** : I lurk in the groups when I’m bored

**boom** : And I get bored a lot

**boom** : There’s literally nothing to do around here

**allthatglitters** : do the hero squad know about that??

**boom** : Don’t know, don’t care

**boom** : And no, we haven’t met

**boom** : Though you’ve probably run into my doppelganger

**beammeupshawna** : oh i really didnt want to be dealing with this parallel earth shit today

**shotthrutheheart** : y do i keep forgetting thats a thing????

**allthatglitters** : i doubt youre that dr light

**allthatglitters** : so youre black siren right?

**boom:** I am

**boom:** Light’s still around??

**allthatglitters:** probably

**allthatglitters** : somewhere

**beammeupshawna** : team flash arent great at keeping track of their villains

**allthatglitters** : _understatement_

**shotthrutheheart** : so r u a doppelganger of anyone i know or???

**beammeupshawna** : black canary

**shotthrutheheart** : holy shit

**shotthrutheheart** : wait which 1?????

**allthatglitters** : laurel lance

**shotthrutheheart** : HOLY SHIT

**allthatglitters** : so how are you at distractions

**boom:** Seriously??

**allthatglitters** : youre too recognizable for grifting

**allthatglitters:** and metas always make a bigger noise

**allthatglitters:** no offense

**boom:** None taken

**boom** : And I guess you’re right

**beammeupshawna** : no youre right

**shotthrutheheart** : wait u 2 r metas????

**boom:** I am

**beammeupshawna** : yep

**allthatglitters** : no theyre a band

**shotthrutheheart** : o m g

**shotthrutheheart** : where have u ppl been all my life

**allthatglitters** : jail

**beammeupshawna** : jail

**boom:** Different universe

**boom:** Also jail

**shotthrutheheart** : so what do u guys do

**shotthrutheheart** : wait is it rude to ask that?????

**shotthrutheheart** : i havent rlly met many metas and i dont kno how it works

**beammeupshawna** : eh i dont care

**beammeupshawna** : i teleport

**beammeupshawna** : its kind of in the name

**shotthrutheheart** : oh i thought it was some kind of reference

**beammeupshawna** : it is? to star trek?

**shotthrutheheart** : oh ive never seen it

**allthatglitters** : sorry what

**shotthrutheheart** : im not rlly into scifi

**allthatglitters** : ok youre out of the crew bye

**shotthrutheheart** : well maybe i dont want to be in a crew of NERDS

**allthatglitters** : SAY THAT TO MY FACE

**shotthrutheheart** : I WOULD BUT I DONT KNO WHERE U R

**boom** : Children, please

**shotthrutheheart** : oh yh, ur _definitely_ laurels doppel

**shotthrutheheart** : and what abt u anyway

**boom** : The name’s Siren

**allthatglitters** : sonic cry, right?

**boom** : Yep

**shotthrutheheart** : like the other canary???

**boom** : No

**boom** : Better

**shotthrutheheart** : but _were_ the children

**boom** : You are

**boom** : And I’m right

**boom:** And I know someone who could be your inside man, if you’re interested

**allthatglitters** : really, who?

**boom:** Artemis

**allthatglitters** : never heard of them

**boom:** That’s the point

**shotthrutheheart** : do u have any1 else in mind???

**allthatglitters** : not really

**allthatglitters** : boo???

**beammeupshawna** : .....we could ask dillon

**allthatglitters** : NOPE

**beammeupshawna** : yh thought not

**allthatglitters** : i guess were stuck with sirens friend

**boom** : She’s not my friend

**allthatglitters** : wow

 

**boom** added **robbinghood** to **imboredletsdocrime**

 

**robbinghood** : ?????

**boom:** Hey kid, figured you might be bored

**robbinghood** : so????

**shotthrutheheart** : so wanna steal some stuff with us??????

**robbinghood** : ok

**beammeupshawna** : thats it??

**robbinghood** : well i don’t have anything else to do so

**allthatglitters** : why exactly does she call you kid?

**allthatglitters** : how old are you??

**robbinghood** : 16

**allthatglitters** : wtf siren you cant just bring a kid to a heist????

**beammeupshawna** : didnt you go to heists when you were a kid???

**allthatglitters** : no!!!

**allthatglitters** : len and mick made me finish high school first god

**allthatglitters** : 16 wtf

**robbinghood** : you know im right here

**robbinghood** : the green arrow didn’t think i was too young

**shotthrutheheart** : you worked with the arrow????

**robbinghood** : yep

**beammeupshawna** : you dont have to use his codename i know hes oliver queen

**beammeupshawna** : im not stupid

**beammeupshawna** : literally all he does is cover his eyes and pull on a hood

**beammeupshawna** : even the flash wears a cowl

**allthatglitters** : im guessing you working with him didnt work out

**robbinghood** : no but not because of my age

**shotthrutheheart** : he didnt approve of your methods

**robbinghood** : more like i didn’t approve of his

**shotthrutheheart** : huh

**shotthrutheheart** : ok i like u

**shotthrutheheart** : boss?

**allthatglitters** : wait are you talking to me???

**shotthrutheheart** : if im the driver and sirens the distraction and the kids the inside man and shawna(?)s the thief

**beammeupshawna** : yep

**shotthrutheheart** : then ur the boss yh?

**allthatglitters** : _oh its about time_

**allthatglitters** : ok kid are you _sure_ you want to do this?

**allthatglitters** : i dont want to force you into anything

**robbinghood** : youre pretty accommodating for a criminal

**allthatglitters** : first rule of building a team is making sure they dont hate each other

**allthatglitters** : because else then id have to kill you all so

**allthatglitters** : i mean obviously not you boo

**beammeupshawna** : <3

**shotthrutheheart** : gee thanks snart

**robbinghood** : im sure

**allthatglitters** : then welcome to the team artemis

**shotthrutheheart** : is that ur actual name or

**robbinghood** : no

**robbinghood** : its evelyn

**robbinghood** : but i dont mind either way, i guess

**shotthrutheheart** : k

**shotthrutheheart** : oh im helena btw!!!!

**shotthrutheheart** : or huntress!!!

**shotthrutheheart:** tho i also accept: supreme mistress and actual most badass person from starling

**shotthrutheheart** : wait no! second most badass

**shotthrutheheart** : forgot abt sara

**robbinghood** : are you _sure_ im the youngest one here???

**beammeupshawna** : i think thats just who she is as a person tbh

**shotthrutheheart** : oh guys wait!!!!!

**allthatglitters** : what?

**shotthrutheheart** : ok so i know a hacker but it depends on how scared u r of felicity smoak

**shotthrutheheart** : she really hates her

**allthatglitters** : more than she hates you???

**shotthrutheheart** : easily twice as much

**allthatglitters** : i didnt think that was possible?

**shotthrutheheart:** shes her _nemesis_

**allthatglitters** : so who is she

**shotthrutheheart** : brie larvan

**beammeupshawna** : who

**allthatglitters** : wait bee lady???

**shotthrutheheart** : yep

**beammeupshawna** : who????

**shotthrutheheart** : she controls robot bees

**robbinghood** : with her mind??????

**shotthrutheheart** : no with computers

**shotthrutheheart** : and yes i know

**shotthrutheheart** : ok so pro: she can rival smoak when it comes to computers

**shotthrutheheart** : but con: she makes like a lot of bee puns

**shotthrutheheart** : like a _lot_

**allthatglitters** : how is that a con thats pretty much one of the requirements of being a rogue

**beammeupshawna** : yeah shes not kidding

**shotthrutheheart** : ok give me a sec, let me see if i can remember her number

**robbinghood** : wait, do you guys just go around making stupid puns all the time???

**beammeupshawna** : yh they do

**beammeupshawna** : its a lot

**allthatglitters** : _dont even try and pretend like you dont do it too_

**beammeupshawna** : yh, when the time is right! not like, all the time!

**allthatglitters** : the right time _is_ all the time

 

**shotthrutheheart** added **noneofyourbeeswax** to the group **imboredletsdocrime**

**noneofyourbeeswax:**?????

**noneofyourbeeswax:** whats this?????

**shotthrutheheart** : sup larvan

**noneofyourbeeswax:** _bertinelli_

**shotthrutheheart** : so u kno how u owe me a favour

**noneofyourbeeswax:** i dont owe u anything???

**shotthrutheheart** : even tho i very kindly didnt kill u????

**noneofyourbeeswax:** thats just basic human decency???

**shotthrutheheart** : we both kno i dont have that

**shotthrutheheart** : sides, its nothing bad, jst need ur hacking skills 4 a heist

**noneofyourbeeswax:** ill think abt it

**allthatglitters** : think quickly, we dont have all day

**shotthrutheheart** : oh this is lisa snart!! and some1 called shawna and evelyn and also the villainous doppelganger of laurel lance

**noneofyourbeeswax:** what

**boom** : The Brie Larvan on my world is dead

**noneofyourbeeswax:** _what???_

**shotthrutheheart** : so u in???

**noneofyourbeeswax:** y would i say yes?????????

**shotthrutheheart** : ......bc it would rlly piss off felicity smoak?

**noneofyourbeeswax:** so what are we stealing

**allthatglitters** : huh

**noneofyourbeeswax:** you dont know????

**noneofyourbeeswax:** really???

**allthatglitters** : look to be perfectly honest i didnt really think that far

**beammeupshawna** : the museums unveiling a new exhibit right?? we could hit that??

**allthatglitters** : no i think mardon and axel are after that one

**allthatglitters** : OH

**boom:** What?

**allthatglitters** : wanna hit it first???

**beammeupshawna** : YES

**shotthrutheheart** : so when are the boys after it?

**allthatglitters** : in five days

**noneofyourbeeswax** : 5 days from _now??_

**noneofyourbeeswax:** bc im still in iron heights remember

**allthatglitters** : _please_

**allthatglitters** : ive broken out of there so many times they might as well have a revolving door

**allthatglitters** : ill have you out in no time

**robbinghood** : wait, how do you have a phone if youre in jail???

**noneofyourbeeswax** : im resourceful

**allthatglitters** : what about the rest of you? can you get to central in 3 days?

**shotthrutheheart** : yep

**robbinghood** : can we?? dont we have to be somewhere??

**robbinghood** : what happens if something goes wrong tomorrow

**shotthrutheheart** : tomorrow??? is something happening down in star???

**boom** : Wouldn’t you like to know

**shotthrutheheart** : yes??? thats y i asked??????

**robbinghood** : i don’t think we can tell you about it

**allthatglitters** : you ok kid?

**robbinghood** : yes?????

**allthatglitters** : you sure?? because if someones making you do something then we can take them out for you

**shotthrutheheart** : i thought u guys werent allowed to kill??

**beammeupshawna** : ehh itll be fine, we just wont tell the other snart

**robbinghood** : guys i’m fine, really

**robbinghood** : besides, siren’s looking out for me

**boom** : No I’m not

**boom** : I honestly couldn’t care less if you died

**shotthrutheheart** : awww

**allthatglitters** : so looks like this is happening

**allthatglitters** : don’t worry, every single one of my plans goes off without a hitch

**beammeupshawna** : so were just ignoring that time in hub city huh

**allthatglitters:** that was pipers fault

**beammeupshawna** : and that time in keystone

**allthatglitters** : that was mardons fault!

**beammeupshawna** : and that time in gotham

**allthatglitters** : ........ok yes that was my fault

**allthatglitters** : in my defence, it was gotham

**allthatglitters** : but this plan will definitely go off without a hitch!

**beammeupshawna:** uh huh

**boom** : Inspiring

**allthatglitters** : so we good?

**shotthrutheheart** : yes!!! cant wait!!!

**beammeupshawna** : you got it boss

**robbinghood** : yep!

**boom** : Why not

**noneofyourbeeswax** : i guess

**allthatglitters** : then get ready ladies, were pulling off a heist

**shotthrutheheart** : WOOOOOO!!!

**noneofyourbeeswax:** hey so could we circle back 2 the whole alternate world thing please

**boom** : No

**shotthrutheheart** : oh this is gonna be so much fun!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who else is excited for ocean's 8??
> 
> (also lbr if the rogues knew about chase manipulating a clearly traumatised evelyn they would have straight up killed him and adopted her)


	34. in which sara lance is worried and iris west is way too familiar with this kind of situation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka lian yu

**smoakandmirrors** created the group **sara**

 

**smoakandmirrors** added **lancelot** to the group **sara**

 

**lancelot** : hey fliss!!!

**lancelot** : hows my 5th favorite person in the whole universe doing????

**smoakandmirrors** : sara

**lancelot** : no comeback????

**lancelot** : not gonna yell at me???

**lancelot** : i mean we both kno ur my 4th fave lbr

**lancelot** : dont tell me being in a rships mellowed u out

**lancelot** : im happy 4 u tho

**lancelot** : full disclosure tho: if u ever even think abt my sisters sex life while im near then i will have to kill u

**lancelot** : slowly

**lancelot** : fliss???

**lancelot** : u still there???

**smoakandmirrors** : i was just waiting for you to get all of that out

**lancelot** : is something up???

**smoakandmirrors** : it’s chase

**lancelot** : fliss what happened??????

**smoakandmirrors** : he’s been taking people

**lancelot** : laurel????

**smoakandmirrors** : i’m sorry, he has her

**smoakandmirrors** : oliver’s sure she’s still alive, and we’re going to find her, i promise

**lancelot** : is my dad ok

**smoakandmirrors** : he’s in a safehouse with thea

**smoakandmirrors** : i don’t think they have their cellphones though

**lancelot** : and u rlly think thatll keep them safe

**smoakandmirrors** : i don’t know, i hope so

**lancelot** : who else has he taken

**smoakandmirrors** : dinah and curtis and rene

**lancelot** : fliss r u safe

**smoakandmirrors** : digg and i are heading out of the city now

**lancelot** : _r u safe_

**smoakandmirrors:** i don’t know

**lancelot** : ur going back, rnt u

**smoakandmirrors** : you know we have to

**lancelot** : gdi fliss

**lancelot:** pls stay safe

**smoakandmirrors** : what do you know about this?

**lancelot** : ????

**smoakandmirrors:** i mean, future knowledge

**lancelot** : u kno i cant

**smoakandmirrors** : it’s _laurel_

**lancelot** : exactly

**lancelot** : im not messing around w/ time where shes concerned ok

**lancelot** : not like this

**lancelot** : like if i was there, yh maybe

**lancelot** : but i cant go there and im not going to do or say something from here that has effects that i cant do anything abt

**smoakandmirrors** : oh

**lancelot** : yh

**smoakandmirrors** : i never got a chance to tell her

**lancelot** : what??

**smoakandmirrors** : i never got a chance to tell laurel i like her

**smoakandmirrors** : chase got to her before i could

**lancelot:** she knos, i promise

**lancelot:** believe me we all kno, ur not subtle

**smoakandmirrors:** thanks sara

**smoakandmirrors:** sara

**lancelot:** yh

**smoakandmirrors:** see you later

**smoakandmirrors:** i love you

**lancelot:** love u 2 fliss

**lancelot:** stay safe yh

**smoakandmirrors** : always

 

-

 

**lancelot:** hey guys, r u all busy???

**irisbest** : yeah, sorry

**quicksort** : I am, yeah

**lancelot** : is no1 else here????

**lancelot** : nyssa????

**lancelot** : what abt team supergirl???

**lancelot** : hello???????

**quicksort** : I don’t think they’re here?

**lancelot** : oh jst _perfect_

**irisbest** : what’s happening???

**lancelot** : prometheus has team arrow

**irisbest** : we can’t get down there

**lancelot** : i kno iris, i kno uve all got ur own stuff and im not asking u to step in

**lancelot** : i jst thought u should kno

**quicksort** : I’m sorry sara

**lancelot:** dont ok this isnt even close to being any of ur faults

**lancelot:** this is all prometheus

**irisbest:** you know that too right?

**lancelot:** yh obviously

**irisbest:** sara

**lancelot:** i rlly do kno its his fault

**lancelot:** i still feel useless tho

**irisbest:** yeah

**lancelot** : i have timetravel for gods sake and im just stuck here

**lancelot** : and nyssa not being in contact is freaking me out a little

**lancelot** : god i dont kno what to do

**irisbest** : you have to be strong for them, and you have to trust that they can make it through this

**irisbest** : believe me, I know how much it sucks having to stand back and wait, but it'll get better, I promise

**lancelot** : when did u get so wise west

**irisbest** : I was always this wise, you just don't listen to me

**lancelot** : fair


	35. in which dinah drake needs to take a breather and felicity smoak needs to just. sit down for a moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka lian yu pt2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> arrow season 5 is finally done i am Free
> 
> (oh, and since i didn't mention it before, amari's gonna be a thing in this (not at first though. at the start it's just going to be like in canon aka zari's pretty bemused by amaya and amaya looks at zari like she hung the moon and stars in the sky and then waited around so she could hang the sun too))

**thirdtimesthecharm** created the group **hey**

 

**thirdtimesthecharm** added **lancelot** to the group **hey**

 

**lancelot** : is every1 ok???

**thirdtimesthecharm** : not really, but we’re alive

**lancelot** : laurel???

**thirdtimesthecharm** : she’s at the hospital, but she’s just concussed

**lancelot** : thank god

**lancelot** : my dad???

**thirdtimesthecharm** : he’s fine, maybe a few scrapes

**lancelot** : ok good thank u

**lancelot:** what abt speedy????

**lancelot** : dinah????

**thirdtimesthecharm** : she’s alive

**thirdtimesthecharm** : she got caught in an explosion

**thirdtimesthecharm** : the doctors say it looks hopeful, but she hasn’t woken up yet

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I don’t know exactly how serious it is, but I think she’s out of the woods for now?

**lancelot** : thank u

**thirdtimesthecharm** : it’s not me you should thank

**lancelot** : ????

**thirdtimesthecharm:** your girlfriend saved our asses

**lancelot** : nyssa was there????

**thirdtimesthecharm** : oliver called her in and she just showed up like an avenging angel

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I can see why you like her

**lancelot** : shes the most perfect person i kno

**lancelot** : how could i not like her??

**thirdtimesthecharm** : her sister was there too

**lancelot** : shit

**thirdtimesthecharm** : yeah

**lancelot** : ill talk 2 her

**lancelot** : hey r u ok 2???

**thirdtimesthecharm** : yeah I’m okay

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I’ve got a few broken ribs though, courtesy of your sister from another universe

**lancelot** : black siren was there??

**thirdtimesthecharm** : yep

**thirdtimesthecharm** : she’s a piece of work

**thirdtimesthecharm** : no idea where her and artemis went after though

**thirdtimesthecharm** : laurel was the last to see her and she says that black siren saved her??

**thirdtimesthecharm** : but like I said, she’s concussed and she’s not making much sense right now

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I’m sure she’ll resurface when we least expect

**lancelot** : thats usually how these things go yh

**lancelot** : hows everyone else on team arrow???

**thirdtimesthecharm** : they’re unhurt

**lancelot:** what a vague answer thanks

**thirdtimesthecharm** : sorry it’s just, a lot happened, you know?

**lancelot** : hey its fine dinah, i kno

**lancelot** : and hows the bby team???

**thirdtimesthecharm** : we’re okay

**thirdtimesthecharm** : and we’re never going to lose that name are we???

**lancelot** : nope!!!

**lancelot** : its gonna remain that til the end of time!!

**lancelot** : and as a timetraveller i can actually make that happen

**lancelot** : so is that every1 who was there???

**lancelot:** dinah

**lancelot** : dinah who else was there

**thirdtimesthecharm** : they took oliver’s kid

**lancelot** : is he ok??????

**thirdtimesthecharm** : he’s not hurt, but his mom didn’t make it

**lancelot** : hows ollie dealing w/ that

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I don’t know??

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I mean, I wouldn’t say he’s fine

**lancelot** : yh i can see y

**thirdtimesthecharm** : it’s just a mess

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I mean, I know everything could’ve gone much worse but god

**thirdtimesthecharm** : god sorry sara, I don’t mean to dump this on you

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I’ll just shut up, sorry

**lancelot** : hey no

**lancelot** : i used to live by the whole ‘ill keep my feelings inside and then ill die’ philosophy

**lancelot** : amd then i died

**lancelot** : turns out it was a pretty crappy way to cope w/ things

**lancelot** : so if u ever need to tlk u jst tlk yh?? dont keep it in and dont apologize

**lancelot** : bc thatll mess u up

**lancelot** : believe me

**lancelot** : and i like u

**lancelot** : i dont want u to end up messed up

**thirdtimesthecharm** : thank you sara

**lancelot** : dw abt it

**lancelot** : and hey drake?

**thirdtimesthecharm** : yes?

**lancelot** : u did good today canary

 

—

 

**lancelot** created the group **thankyou**

 

**lancelot** added **nr** to the group **thankyou**

**nr** : I didn’t do much

**lancelot** : except u did tho???????

**nr** : Oliver requested my assistance, so I went

**nr** : Though I would have gone anyway if I’d known

**lancelot** : i love u, thank u so much

**nr** : Laurel is my family too

**nr** : And so are Quentin and Thea, if they’d let me

**lancelot** : dont b stupid, of course they r

**lancelot** : some days i think dad loves u more than me tbh

**nr** : I _am_ better behaved

**lancelot** : nah ur an asshole like the rest of us ur jst more sneaky abt it

**lancelot** : hey i heard ur sis was there?? how r u doing??? what went down???

**nr** : I’ve been better, but I have also been worse

**nr** : And we fought

**nr** : I managed to walk away, and she didn’t

**lancelot** : hey give me a time + location and ill take u somewhere nice ok

**nr** : You’re not busy?

**lancelot** : never 2 busy 4 u

**lancelot** : but u kno i gotta see laurel 1st

**nr** : Of course

**lancelot** : i shud probably give her and fliss time to bang it out tho

**lancelot** : nyssa

**lancelot** : nys

**lancelot** : nys im sorry

**nr** : I highly doubt that

**lancelot** : yh u kno me 2 well

**nr** : Sometimes I honestly can’t believe we ended up together

**lancelot** : well tough!!! ur stuck w/ 4eva!!!!

**nr** : You’re making it worse

**lancelot** : ;P

 

—

 

**newandimproved** created the group **hey!!**

 

**newandimproved** added **boom** to the group **hey!!**

 

**newandimproved** : Thanks for saving my life

**boom** : I’m too much of a narcissist to watch myself die

**boom:** That’s literally it

**boom:** It doesn’t mean that I like you

**boom** : Because I don’t

**boom** : And I didn’t save your life, I just didn’t kill you

**newandimproved** : If you say so!!

**boom** : Ugghhh

**boom** : I wish I’d let you die

**newandimproved** : Love you too sis!

 

**boom** deleted the group **hey!!**

 

—

 

**smoakandmirrors** created the group **heyso**

 

**smoakandmirrors** added **newandimproved** to the group **heyso**

 

**smoakandmirrors** : hey, i’m on my way to you

**newandimproved** : Why?

**smoakandmirrors** : gee thanks laurel

**smoakandmirrors** : and bc it’d be wrong for me to apologize through text wouldn’t it

**newandimproved** : You don’t have to apologize

**smoakandmirrors** : kinda do????

**smoakandmirrors** : this needs to be a face to face thing though

**smoakandmirrors** : i’ll meet you at the hospital

**newandimproved** : Oh I’m not there

**smoakandmirrors** : ?????????

**newandimproved** : I left

**smoakandmirrors** : YOU DID WHAT

**newandimproved** : It’s just a concussion

**smoakandmirrors** : that’s the concussion talking

**smoakandmirrors** : did you even check yourself out????

**newandimproved** : In the mirror

**smoakandmirrors:** dork

**smoakandmirrors** : but really though

**newandimproved** : Not sure

**newandimproved** : Felicity???

**smoakandmirrors** : just had to put my head in my hands for a minute

**newandimproved** : Rude

**smoakandmirrors** : ok, are you at your apartment??

**newandimproved** : I think so

**smoakandmirrors** : YOU THINK SO????

**newandimproved** : Joking Felicity, I’m home

**smoakandmirrors** : stay there, i’ll drive you back to the hospital

**newandimproved** : You don’t have to

**smoakandmirrors** : do you really want the great black canary’s cause of death to be stubborn idiocy

**smoakandmirrors** : bc i will write that right on your tombstone

**newandimproved** : You think I’m great?

**smoakandmirrors** : Laurel

**newandimproved** : Fine

**smoakandmirrors** : see you in a bit idiot

**newandimproved** : Okay

**newandimproved:** Fine

**newandimproved** : Love you

**smoakandmirrors** : you have a concussion

**newandimproved** : Still love you though

**smoakandmirrors** : oh boy you’re gonna kick yourself for this later

**newandimproved** : Why would I do that I love myself

**newandimproved** : And you

**newandimproved** : I love you

**newandimproved** : Felicity

**smoakandmirrors** : no

**newandimproved** : Felicity

**smoakandmirrors** : _no_

**newandimproved** : Felicity

**smoakandmirrors** : _gdi fine_

**smoakandmirrors** : i love you too

**newandimproved** : And I love you!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : how the hell did you manage to sneak out of a hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .....she climbed out of the window
> 
> felicity, through tears: oh my god this was such a bad decision why i am even attracted to you you're a disaster i can't—  
> laurel: but i'm cute  
> felicity: but  
> laurel: *smiles*  
> felicity: .....goddamnit. you're right. you're so right


	36. in which jesse quick is probably having half a dozen conversations at once and no one puts themselves down on sara lance's watch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka catch up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry guys, uni's been kicking my ass but also i do have like uh ~10k of this written?? just not in order. because of course i don't

**puppydanvers** : hey guys, what’d we miss??

**lancelot** : good news everyone! laur and fliss finally banged!

**betterthanyou** : _nice_

**smoakandmirrors** : we did not!

**lancelot** : u didnt??? is my sis not good ebough 4 u is that what ur saying???

**newandimproved** : Why Sara

**newandimproved** : Why are you so obsessed with my sex life

**smoakandmirrors** : and mine

**lancelot** : um ur obsessed w/ mine?? ur always bringing it up??

**newandimproved** : I only bring it up to tell you to stop telling me about it!!!!!!!!

**lancelot** : same diff

**lancelot** : and ur sex life is now laurels sex life so

**lancelot** : thats what u get 4 dating my sister

**smoakandmirrors** : you set us up?????

**lancelot** : maybe i set u 2 up so i cud mock both of u at the same time did u ever think abt that

**smoakandmirrors** : right so that’s why you gave me that speech about not blowing our chances and making sure we tell people we love them???

**newandimproved** : You did???

**lancelot** : no ur mistaken i never said that

**smoakandmirrors** : i moderate this whole system do you really think i can’t bring up old conversations

**lancelot** : hey so didnt u guys do other stuff 2

**smoakandmirrors** : that’s what i thought

**puppydanvers** : did you???

**thirdtimesthecharm** : we defeated prometheus

**agentdamnvers** : oh thank god

**puppydanvers** : oh well done guys!!!! I’m so happy for you!!!

**thirdtimesthecharm** : well, oliver did

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I was just kind of there, I guess

**newandimproved** : _Hey_

**newandimproved** : We all played our part

**lancelot** : um excuse me drake u best not b putting urself down rn

**lancelot** : didnt i tell u u were awesome?????

**thirdtimesthecharm** : no??

**lancelot** : yh but i said i liked u

**lancelot** : and wud i like u if u werent awesome??????

**lancelot** : of course not

**lancelot** : so suck it up drake ur on my team now which means u cant say bad things abt urself or else i will come to ur place and kick u in the face

**newandimproved** : She’s not joking she really will do that

**newandimproved** : I still have bruises from the last time she tried to cheer me up

**lancelot** : either stop being negative abt urself or learn 2 duck

**lancelot** : ur choice

**smoakandmirrors** : ok so when did this happen???

**lancelot** : when did what happen

**smoakandmirrors** : you guys being friends????

**lancelot** : we were always friends???

**thirdtimesthecharm** : ???????

**thirdtimesthecharm** : you once suggested I should die to see if I’d resurrect like a true canary????

**lancelot** : .........ok tru that is something i said

**lancelot** : but ur awesome drake!!

**lancelot** : ur a total badass!!

**lancelot** : and ur jst as stubborn as laurel and almost as self-deprecating!!

**thirdtimesthecharm** : thanks

**newandimproved** : Thanks

**lancelot** : so ive decided 2 adopt u

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I’m older than you??

**newandimproved** : You can’t adopt her, I adopted her first!

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I’m older than you too????

**lancelot** : um since when was there first come first served basis on adoption????

**betterthanyou** : isnt that literally how adoption works

**thirdtimesthecharm** : still older than both of you?????

**rideordie** : sorry drake, but im pretty sure age doesn’t matter in this kind of thing

**rideordie** : since alex is younger than james, but hes still her little brother

**agentdamnvers** : well _someone_ has to look out for him

**betterthanyou** : and its gotta b u huh

**agentdamnvers** : I mean, it might as well be

**lancelot** : sides we can share her yh???

**newandimproved** : .....okay

**thirdtimesthecharm** : am I invisible right now????????

**lancelot** : i mean we share thea rght???

**lancelot** : shit srry

**newandimproved** : Not your fault dumbass

**puppydanvers** : did something happen???

**smoakandmirrors** : thea’s in a coma

**agentdamnvers** : is there anything we can do to help?

**newandimproved** : I don’t know

**smoakandmirrors** : the doctors say she’s out of the woods

**smoakandmirrors** : but they don’t know when she’ll wake up

**smoakandmirrors** : she isn’t getting worse but it looks like she isn’t getting better either

**agentdamnvers** : hey so I could take a look at her condition if you wanted?

**agentdamnvers** : no promises, but if earth medicine isn’t working then maybe alien medicine could do something?

**newandimproved** : Are you sure you wouldn’t mind?

**agentdamnvers** : of course not??

**newandimproved** : Then yes please

**newandimproved** : Thank you

**smoakandmirrors** : god alex thank you so much

**agentdamnvers** : this is my job guys, you don’t have to thank me

**lancelot** : ehhh kind of do

**lancelot** : and thanks danvers

**agentdamnvers** : and I’m technically on holiday from work right now so I’ve got the time

**lancelot** : ur on holiday??? i thought u were like a super workaholic

**betterthanyou** : she is

**puppydanvers** : she is

**rideordie** : she is

**agentdamnvers** : thanks guys

**agentdamnvers** : and please sawyer as if you can talk

**smoakandmirrors** : why are you on holiday???

**betterthanyou** : j’onns making her take a week off after everything that happened

**smoakandmirrors** : what happened???????

**betterthanyou** : oh nothing much

**newandimproved** : Really

**betterthanyou** : ok actually........

**betterthanyou** : we saved the planet!!!!!

**puppydanvers** : again!!

**betterthanyou** : again!!!!!!!

**betterthanyou** : and now karas ex is dating the president, which like wow what a step up

**puppydanvers** : hey!!

**puppydanvers** : and again, I never dated cat!!!

**betterthanyou** : are you sure

**agentdamnvers** : are you _sure_

**puppydanvers** : I think I’d know!!!

**lancelot** : so what happened????

**theboss** : Alien invasion

**thirdtimesthecharm** : again?????

**agentdamnvers** : it’s kind of our thing

**lancelot** : but sure, our earths the weird 1

**agentdamnvers** : you say, from your space/time ship

**lancelot** : whats ur point

**quicksort** : was it the same aliens as last time??

**puppydanvers** : nope, this time it was daxamites

**smoakandmirrors** : oh, what’s a daxamite???

**puppydanvers** : they’re sort of a sister race to kryptonians?

**puppydanvers** : we have the same common ancestor?

**puppydanvers** : different weaknesses though

**puppydanvers** : and they can’t fly

**puppydanvers** : their queen tried to launch an invasion

**puppydanvers** : but lena stopped them!!!

**puppydanvers** : she saved the planet!!!!

**theboss** : I really didn’t do that much

**theboss** : It was mostly Winn and Lillian

**puppydanvers** : ?????????????

**betterthanyou** : winn yes lillian no

**theboss** : I don’t think you can ignore her contribution just because she’s a bad person

**betterthanyou** : i think youll find i can

**betterthanyou** : so shut up nerd and take the compliment

**theboss** : Thank you?

**lancelot** : god dont u hate it when ur nerd wont believe theyre awesome

**thirdtimesthecharm** : I’m not a nerd???

**lancelot** : um who said i was tlking abt u????

**lancelot** : not everythings abt u nerd

**thirdtimesthecharm** : wow

**smoakandmirrors** : yh if she likes you then she’s like this all the time

**thirdtimesthecharm** : great

**puppydanvers** : and that’s not all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : ???

**betterthanyou** : p sure ur meant 2 let them bring it up kar

**puppydanvers** : I didn’t say anything!!!

**puppydanvers:** I’m just really excited!!!

**lancelot** : oohh spill lil danvers

**rideordie** : actually this is more of a big danvers thing

**agentdamnvers** : really?

**rideordie** : hey i’m not saying you have to tell

**rideordie** : it’s up to you danvers

**agentdamnvers** : well

**agentdamnvers** : maggie and I are engaged!

**smoakandmirrors** : omg!!!!

**newandimproved** : Congratulations!!

**thirdtimesthecharm** : congrats!!!

**lancelot** : congrats gays

**agentdamnvers** : classy lance

**lancelot** : thats my stripper name

**agentdamnvers** : why are you like this

**lancelot** : who proposed????

**rideordie** : alex

**lancelot** : woah way 2 go danvers

**lancelot** : thats amazing!!!

**puppydanvers** : I know, right?????

**lancelot** : i knew u were the 2nd bravest person i knew

**agentdamnvers** : that was actually sweet??

**agentdamnvers** : I honestly didn’t think you could do that

**lancelot** : i have my moments

**agentdamnvers** : 1st bravest’s laurel, right?

**lancelot** : obvs

**newandimproved** : Have you set a date?

**rideordie** : not yet

**agentdamnvers** : it was kind of a spur of the moment thing

**rideordie** : and we’ve got things to sort out first

**agentdamnvers** : yeah

**agentdamnvers** : stuff that we really need to talk about

**agentdamnvers** : but whatever happens, we’re sticking together, right?

**rideordie** : nowhere i’d rather be than by your side danvers

**lancelot** : r they like this all the time

**puppydanvers** : yeah

**theboss** : A little

**betterthanyou** : i think its cute

**puppydanvers** : you would

**betterthanyou** : _meaning_

**puppydanvers** : meaning that alex is your best friend and when she’s happy you’re happy?

**lancelot** : oooh nice recovery lil danvers

**newandimproved** : You know you’re not helping, right?

**lancelot** : yh of course

**lancelot** : ok so: team arrow took down prometheus and team supergirl took down an alien invasion

**betterthanyou** : woah hey who said were called team supergirl????

**puppydanvers** : we’re called the superfriends!!!

**betterthanyou** : no thats worse

**lancelot** : wbu team flash???

**lancelot** : guys???

**puppydanvers** : are they here??

**smoakandmirrors** : i haven’t heard anything from them in a while??

**lancelot** : i spoke to iris and jesse when u guys were all awol and they said they were busy but idk whats going on down there

**quicksort** : we _are_ busy

**newandimproved** : Jesse? What’s going on? Are you okay?

**quicksort** : I’m okay but things are a bit hectic

**quicksort** : I can keep an eye on this too for the moment but I’ll have to leave soon

**quicksort** : and iris isn’t here

**puppydanvers** : why not??

**theboss** : Is she okay?

**smoakandmirrors** : oh god

**smoakandmirrors** : it’s today isn’t it?

**quicksort** : yes

**agentdamnvers:** what is?

**lancelot:** oh

**smoakandmirrors** : it’s when iris is supposed to die

**puppydanvers** : guys what can we do?

**quicksort** : wally’s keeping me updated on his end of things

**quicksort** : and I really don’t know

**quicksort** : iris is in hiding somewhere

**quicksort** : and leonard snart’s helping barry

**lancelot** : wait

**lancelot** : is he _our_ len?????

**quicksort** : I think so, yeah?

**lancelot** : huh

**lancelot** : gimme a sec

**smoakandmirrors** : why would barry ask him to help???

**quicksort** : I don’t know if this is something I can tell you?

**smoakandmirrors** : why not????

**quicksort** : because it’s to do with argus?

**quicksort** : felicity??

**smoakandmirrors** : don’t tell me barry recruited _leonard snart_ to help him break into argus

**lancelot** : hey thats my team member ur talking abt!!!

**smoakandmirrors** : i mean hello  _i_ broke into argus?????

**smoakandmirrors** : why wouldn’t he ask me??????

**smoakandmirrors** : but don’t worry, i won’t say anything to lyla or digg

**quicksort** : thanks

**lancelot** : and ok so len says he remembers that???

**lancelot** : it turned out well in his current memories, so good sign

**agentdamnvers** : current memories??

**lancelot** : his memories of the current timeline

**lancelot** : he left before barry enacted his main plan though

**lancelot** : so sorry guys

**lancelot** : but its up 2 team flash now

**smoakandmirrors** : well whatever happens, it’ll happen tonight

**smoakandmirrors** : so i guess we just have to have hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *finger guns* supergirl season 2 is finally finished. just gotta do flash next
> 
> also cait had to stop herself like a dozen times from jumping back in the chat and asking about the genetic differences between kryptonians and daxamites


	37. in which iris west is stronger than everything life’s thrown at her and there are too many self-blaming idiots in this chat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka finish line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah yeah i'm a mess with no time management skills you guys all know the drill

**irisbest** created the group **hey**

 

**irisbest** added **smoakandmirrors** , **speedygonzales** , **newandimproved** and 3 others to the group **hey**

 

**smoakandmirrors** : iris??? are you okay????

**newandimproved** : Did you fix it????

**lancelot** : holy shit west u good????

**irisbest** : yeah guys I’m alive

**irisbest** : we defeated savitar

**irisbest** : the rest is

**irisbest** : god I don’t know

**smoakandmirrors** : what happened??

**irisbest** : I killed savitar

**lancelot** : oh

**smoakandmirrors** : oh wow

**smoakandmirrors** : well done??

**newandimproved** : Are you okay?

**irisbest** : I killed barry

**quicksort** : he wasn’t barry

**quicksort** : and believe me iris, I’m kind of the expert here on doppelgangers

**lancelot** : and im the expert on versions of ppl from different timelines

**smoakandmirrors** : really

**lancelot** : and im the expert on versions of ppl from different timelines out of the ppl currently in this chat

**irisbest** : yeah that seems more like it

**lancelot** : he wasnt barry

**lancelot** : i kno he mightve had the same face but barry wouldnt have hurt you guys and tried to kill you and messed w caits head

**lancelot** : and you kno that

**irisbest** : did you know? what would happen?

**lancelot** : not exactly

**irisbest** : meaning??

**lancelot** : meaning theres some timelines where you lived and some where you died and they dont all happen the same way

**lancelot** : and in the ones where youve lived youve never said what happened

**lancelot** : i mean i still dont rlly kno what happened

**irisbest** : hr’s dead

**smoakandmirrors** : oh god

**irisbest** : he died instead of me

**lancelot** : dont blame urself

**newandimproved** : Iris you can’t blame yourself for this

**irisbest** : I know it’s not my fault but

**irisbest** : he died instead of me

**lancelot** : i kno west but u rlly cant ok

**newandimproved** : She’s right

**lancelot** : wow did that hurt

**newandimproved** : I hope you know I just sighed

**smoakandmirrors** : how’s the rest of the team??

**irisbest** : okay I think

**quicksort** : we're okay

**quicksort** : a bit shaken up

**irisbest** : and cait left

**smoakandmirrors** : is she okay???

**irisbest** : she helped us, in the end

**irisbest** : she saved cisco’s life

**irisbest** : but I don’t know where she is now?

**irisbest** : and I know that technically everything’s fine now but

**newandimproved** : Hey

**newandimproved** : You survived

**newandimproved** : And that’s not something to be ashamed of

**newandimproved** : It’s not your fault what Savitar tried to do or what HR did

**irisbest** : I know

**irisbest** : I really do

**irisbest** : I know I wasn’t the one who killed him but

**irisbest** : it still all revolved around me

**lancelot** : so??

**lancelot** : u think ur responsible for savitars obsession w u???

**lancelot** : y????

**lancelot** : bc u exist????

**lancelot** : u literally did nothing

**lancelot** : this is not your fault iris

**irisbest** : thank you

**irisbest** : I mean I know, I really know that this isn’t really my fault but

**irisbest** : thank you

**lancelot** : i only speak the truth

**newandimproved** : _Now_ , that is

**lancelot** : listen i have never told a lie ever

**smoakandmirrors** : that’s literally a lie

**lancelot** : no its not

**smoakandmirrors** : and so’s that???

**lancelot** : if u say so

**smoakandmirrors** :  _god_

**lancelot** : hey iris so yd u add speedy to this?

**irisbest** : shouldn’t I have?

**lancelot** : oh

**quicksort** : I didn’t have time with everything going on to say anything

**quicksort** : I’m sorry

**lancelot** : dont apologize wells

**lancelot** : its not even close 2 being ur fault

**irisbest** : what happened?

**smoakandmirrors** : thea’s in a coma

**irisbest** : oh god

**smoakandmirrors** : but she’s stable

**irisbest** : I’m sorry

**smoakandmirrors** : and alex is going to come over here and see if there;s anything she can do

**smoakandmirrors** : hey!! it’s not your fault!!

**smoakandmirrors** : you didn’t make prometheus do what he did!!

**smoakandmirrors** : so don’t blame yourself!! it’s not your job to take responsibility for every little thing that happens!!

**lancelot** : yh u cant ever do that!! for anything!!!

**lancelot** : if u live ur life always taking responsibility for everything then ur just excusing the ppl whos fault it rlly is!!

**lancelot** : and all ur doing is helpin them to push urself even further down!!!

**irisbest** : I’m getting the feeling you’re not talking to me anymore?

**smoakandmirrors** : i’m talking to all the stubborn idiots who like to blame themselves for everything

**smoakandmirrors** : and maybe there’s more than one of those in here. that could be possible

**lancelot** : mhm

**newandimproved** : I feel like you’re both talking about me and I don’t like it

**lancelot** : 100%

**smoakandmirrors** : oh definitely

**newandimproved** : I hate you both

**lancelot** : ehhh better us than you

**newandimproved** : I can do both at the same time, I’m special like that

**newandimproved** : So what are you going to do now?

**irisbest** : I’m going to keep helping to save the city

**irisbest** : and I’m going to get married

**lancelot** : _good_

**lancelot** : as 1 member of the technically dead club to another: livings the best revenge

**irisbest** : thank you

**quicksort** : why technically?? I thought you were literally dead??

**lancelot** : ive been a little of both

**quicksort** : oh

**lancelot** : you gotta keep every1 guessing u kno?

**quicksort** : not really

**newandimproved** : She means she’s a dumbass who keeps getting herself killed

**lancelot** : _well look whos talking_

**newandimproved** : I only died once!!!

**lancelot** : exactly

**lancelot** : im winning

**newandimproved** : ?????

**irisbest** : you know sara I really love talking to you after we go through a situation like this

**lancelot** : _ha suck on that laurel_

**newandimproved** : Why

**lancelot** : but y tho

**irisbest** : it reminds me that no matter what my team goes through, we’ll never be as much as a disaster as your team

**newandimproved** : _Hmm sorry Sara what were you just saying_

**lancelot** : u kno what im still taking that as a win

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so you know how i accidentally started writing director sanvers?? well i even more accidentally started writing dinah/siren so i guess you've got that to look forward to??
> 
> i swear one day i won't be surprised by the direction my fics end up in


	38. in which caitlin snow is reaching out and rip hunter is probably crying somewhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka this would've solved so many problems??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter because of the whole disappearing for a month thing i guess

**snowqueen** created the group **hello**

 

**snowqueen** added **lancelot** to the group **hello**

 

**lancelot** : caitlin???? r u ok????

**lancelot** : iris said that u left????

**snowqueen** : I was wondering if that offer was still open?

**lancelot** : offer???

**snowqueen** : You asked me if I wanted to take a trip out to an isolated area to get better control of my powers

**snowqueen:** I don’t really know that I’d be comfortable using my powers, but a place away from everything would be good

**snowqueen** : Though I’d understand if you wanted to retract the offer anyway after what I did

**lancelot** : pls what did u even do

**snowqueen** : I tried to kill my friends and take over the world??

**lancelot** : so???

**lancelot** : who _hasnt_ done that

**lancelot** : thats like a friday night 4 us

**lancelot** : snow ur like 1 of the most boring most goodest people ive ever met

**snowqueen** : Goodest isn’t a word

**lancelot** : ^^^^

**lancelot** : see?????

**lancelot** : im not gonna deny uve done bad stuff bc u have and u gotta own that shit

**lancelot** : but like

**lancelot** : if u make that ur whole identity itll destroy u

**lancelot** : and thats not gonna help _any1_

**lancelot** : so yes definitely the offers still open but also

**lancelot** : we got a few rooms spare

**lancelot** : so like u cud come 4 more than jst 1 trip if u want??

**lancelot** : like u cud actually stay w/ us 4 a while??

**lancelot:** the thing abt timetravel is that u can always get back to the time u left from

**lancelot** : well unless u die i guess

**lancelot** : 80/20 still good odds

**lancelot** : but then theres like a 50% chance ull get resurrected so 90/10?????

**lancelot** : thats how percentages work right

**lancelot** : also good thing abt timetravel is that ur never wrong bc whos gonna disagree w/ u???

**lancelot** : non timetravellers???

**lancelot** : ha id like 2 see them try

**lancelot** : snow u havent spoke in a while nd its freaking me out a bit

**snowqueen** : You’d really trust me with your team?

**lancelot** : do u kno how many people on my team havent tried to kill us at 1 point????

**lancelot** : the answer is 3

**lancelot** :ray & stein & nate

**lancelot** : tho i think stein maybe screwed us over in the doomworld???

**lancelot** : also ray nearly got the whole world destroyed on our first trip out so

**lancelot** : and tbh w/ timetravel who even knos what happened in other timelines u kno

**lancelot** : nd since u havent tried to kill the legends then ud be raising the non attempted murder average

**lancelot** : and we need to raise it bc team arrows getting a little too smug

**lancelot** : also no offence cait bc im sure ur powerful but like that was up against _allen_ okay

**lancelot** :have u seen my team????

**lancelot** : if anything happened then u would be taken down in like 10 secs

**lancelot** : less if gideon gets involved

**lancelot** : like 2 or 3 of our guys use fire so like good luck w/ that ice crap

**snowqueen** : That’s pretty reassuring actually

**lancelot** : _exactly_

**lancelot** : is that a yes?

**snowqueen** :Okay

**snowqueen** : Yes

**lancelot** : wait seriously???

**snowqueen** : Oh

**snowqueen** : You weren’t being serious

**lancelot** : just bc i didnt expect u to accept doesnt mean that i wasnt serious ok

**lancelot** : give me a time + place and well pick u up

**snowqueen** : What if the rest of your team doesn’t want me on board?

**lancelot** : im??? the???? captain????????

**lancelot** : 1st rule of living on the waverider: its not a democracy

**lancelot** : also i asked them ages ago when i first made u that offer so

**snowqueen** : Oh

**lancelot** : ur gonna love it w/ us!!!! time travels the actual best!!!!!

**lancelot** :and u & ray & stein can nerd out over things!!!

**lancelot** : and laur will get off my back 4 not having a doctor on board!!!

**snowqueen** : Well I’m glad to be of assistance

**lancelot** : also cait

**lancelot** : idk if u want to hear this

**lancelot** : but im so proud of u 4 reaching out ok

**snowqueen** : Thank you

**snowqueen** : It is good to hear that, yes

**lancelot** : k enough of this sappy shit lets go screw up time!!!!!!

**snowqueen** : I don’t think I’m going to do that

**lancelot** : every1 says that at 1st y r u all allergic 2 fun????

**lancelot** : but dont worry cait

**lancelot** : # iiiiiiill #

**lancelot** : # make a legennnnnnd #

**lancelot** : # out of uuuuuuuuuuu #

**snowqueen** : It doesn’t even fit

**lancelot** : yh but i can go back in time and change the song so it does so

**lancelot** : check and mate

**snowqueen** : I’m already regretting this

**lancelot** : were gonna have so much fun!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally joined a group chat of my own and guys,,,if you're reading this,,,you're all way too nice to me 10/10 would cry about laurel lance all day long with you


	39. in which zari tomaz is one of the cool kids and gideon's watching (it's only slightly as creepy as it sounds)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka pt5 of which idiots trusted the legends with the timeline
> 
> (the other teams just. aren't even surprised at this point)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow. a month and a half huh. sorry guys i am a literal trash fire. or a fire made of trash, if you will
> 
> also hi sorry i haven't replied to like. any comments from the last chapter i'm really sorry i'm just. not up to that yet
> 
> this chapter's pretty long though as like? an apology? sorry guys

**newandimproved** created the group **question**

 

 **newandimproved** added **lancelot** to the group **question**

 

 **newandimproved** : Sara

 **lancelot** : yup

 **newandimproved** : When was the last time we spoke and what was it about

 **lancelot:**?????

 **lancelot** : yesterday

 **lancelot** : i told u abt the time we nearly accidentally destroyed the statue of liberty

 **lancelot** : and u called us idiots that shouldnt have been left in charge of literally anything ever

 **newandimproved** : Yeah that’s what I thought

 **lancelot** : ?????

 **newandimproved** : And yet the you that turned up at my apartment half an hour ago apparently hasn’t spoken to me in a week

 **lancelot** : ha ha whoops

 **lancelot** : guess u finally caught up

 **newandimproved** : ????

 **lancelot** : hey so remember that time we maybe accidentally broke time

 **newandimproved** : How could I forget????

 **lancelot** : well u kno how the chat sync went a bit screwy on our end

 **newandimproved** : Yes?

 **lancelot** : well yh that was bc gideon was offline 4 a bit and she couldnt sync us up w/ u guys

 **lancelot** : and when she came back on she jst sort of skipped the time we missed

 **lancelot** : aka the time we crashed in 2017 for a bit

 **newandimproved** : You could have told me???

 **lancelot** : i mean i _couldve_

 **newandimproved** : Then why didn’t you?????

 **lancelot** : look ok u were rlly surprised when i showed up and i didnt want to change time

 **newandimproved** : I could’ve pretended to be surprised??

 **lancelot** : whens the last time either of us managed to actually properly lie to each other

 **newandimproved** : That time you told me you’d never ever got involved in my love life???

 **lancelot** : ......ok yh i forgot abt that

 **lancelot** : yh that was a straight up lie lol

 **newandimproved** :  _Damnit Sara_

 **lancelot** : hows that going btw

 **newandimproved** : Don’t change the subject

 **lancelot** : um u realize ur trying to change the subject 2

 **newandimproved** : You did it first!

 **newandimproved** : Did you tell anyone else??

 **lancelot** : nope

 **lancelot** : and actually ur the 1st 1 to bring this up so nobody else even knos yet

 **lancelot** : so yay 4 u!!

 **newandimproved** : _Sara_

 **lancelot** : yh yh

 

 **newandimproved** deleted the group **question**

 

—

 

 **lancelot** : hey guys remember that time the legends maybe broke time

 **newandimproved** : Why do you keep saying maybe

 **smoakandmirrors** : ....yes?

 **lancelot** : well i might of sort of lied a little when i came back into the chat

 **lancelot** : im actually from nearly a yr in the future

 **lancelot** : surprise!!!!

 **lancelot** : ~jazzhands~

 **smoakandmirrors** : wtf sara

 **rideordie** : ..............what

 **theboss** : Does this happen a lot?

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : i think so

 **irisbest** : so you knew I wasn’t dead

 **lancelot** : ahh actually no??

 **puppydanvers** : but you’re from the future??

 **lancelot** : yes but times in flux, especially in central

 **lancelot** : which is y _most_ of us avoided that place

 **lancelot** : im sorry iris, if i knew 4 certain then i definitely wouldve told u, i promise

 **irisbest** : it’s ok, I trust you

 **lancelot** : u do???

 **lancelot** : boy what a bad decision

 **smoakandmirrors** : do you know anything about thea???

 **lancelot** : fliss u _kno_ i cant rlly tell u abt much on ur end

 **irisbest** : so why are you telling us now?

 **newandimproved** : Because past Sara is now sleeping on my couch

 **smoakandmirrors** : oh

 **lancelot** : yep

 **newandimproved** : Though can you at least tell me how long you’ll be here

 **lancelot** : wow such hospitality

 **newandimproved** : I love you, but I actually have a life you know

 **lancelot** : right and y do u have a life again???

 **newandimproved** : Yeah well I didn’t bring _you_ back to life so you could eat all my cereal

 **lancelot** : but the replicated kind doesnt taste as nice!!!

 **newandimproved** : Sara

 **lancelot** : ugh like soonish

 **lancelot** : but like u kno i cant b 2 specific

 **agentdamnvers** : can’t or won’t?

 **lancelot** : rude

 **lancelot** : although actually there _is_ stuff i can tell abt my end!

 **newandimproved** : Like what?

 **lancelot** : weve got a new member!!!!

 **lancelot** : her names zari!!!

 **smoakandmirrors** : oh, what’s she like???

 **irisbest** : how did you trick her into joining you

 **lancelot** : ok 1st: rude

 **lancelot** : 2nd: fliss!!! fliss!!!!!

 **smoakandmirrors** : what what?????

 **lancelot** : FLISS SHES A HACKER FROM THE FUTURE

 **smoakandmirrors** : !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **smoakandmirrors** : WE NEED TO MEET RIGHT NOW

 **lancelot** : U CANT BC TIMELINES

 **smoakandmirrors** : THEN WHY WOULD YOU EVEN TELL ME??????

 **lancelot** : U CAN STILL TLK 2 HER!!!!

 **smoakandmirrors** : IT’S NOT THE SAME!!!!

 **lancelot** : ........so u dont want 2 tlk 2 her then

 **smoakandmirrors** : OF COURSE I DO!!!

 

 **lancelot** added **z** to the group

 

 **z** : what is this

 **smoakandmirrors** : HIII ITS GREAT TO MEET YOU!!!!

 **z** : what whats going on who r u

 **lancelot** : ignore fliss shes excitable

 **lancelot** : like a small child

 **lancelot** : or a puppy

 **smoakandmirrors** : there’s literally no need?????

 **z** : so whats this then

 **smoakandmirrors** : it’s our groupchat!!!

 **irisbest** : don’t you have some sort of communication system where you’re from??

 **z** : yes but how do u know the codes??????

 **smoakandmirrors** : codes???

 **agentdamnvers** : what codes?

 **z** : the codes were writing our messages in rn????

 **lancelot** : oh we dont, gideons translating

 **z** : how does she know the codes????????

 **z** : theyre meant to b secret?????

 **lancelot** : well yh but gideon knos everything

 **lancelot** : like i mean _everything_

 **lancelot** : like she can even see into ppls dreams

 **z** : srry she can what now

 **agentdamnvers** : wait, really???

 **lancelot** : dont worry, we made her stop

 **irisbest** : can _our_ gideon do that????

 **lancelot** : ehhh probably not

 **z** : theres another gideon????

 **irisbest** : that’s really not comforting at all

 **lancelot** : yh theyve kinda got 1 too, long story

 **lancelot** : but anyway yh, gideons translating stuff to ur code 4 u, and then to english (im guessing????) 4 us

 **puppydanvers** : can she do this for every language???

 **lancelot** : i dont think she can do alien languages, srry kara

 **puppydanvers** : I didn’t think she would, but I thought I’d still ask

 **lancelot** : i mean sides, gideons not doing that great a job w/ zaris anyway

 **lancelot** : its not super easy to read

 **z** : no thats jst how i normally type i dont have time to check my spelling who cares abt that

 **lancelot** : !!!!!

 **irisbest** : oh I see it now

 **lancelot** : see, no tricking necessary

 **lancelot** : tho u can change to english if u want???

 **lancelot** : tho i kno nys tends to send messages in arabic when shes tired

 **lancelot:** so like, stick to whatever language u want i guess

 **agentdamnvers** : how did you understand nyssa’s messages before gideon translated them for you??

 **lancelot** : ????

 **lancelot** : i speak arabic???

 **agentdamnvers** : wait, really?

 **lancelot** : and french and german and japanese and mandarin and russian

 **betterthanyou** : really??????

 **agentdamnvers** : since when?????

 **lancelot** : guys

 **lancelot** : i used to be an international assassin

 **lancelot** : emphasis on the _international_

 **lancelot** : nyssa speaks way more languages than i do tho

 **irisbest** : now _that_ , I expected

 **z** : whos nyssa

 **newandimproved** : I’m surprised you haven’t brought her up yet??

 **lancelot** : shes my gf and shes the actual most badass person in the multiverse

 **lancelot** : and shes only been here for like 10 mins ok give it time

 **z** : no its been nearly a week???

 **lancelot** : actually its been 3 days

 **z** : what

 **lancelot** : yh it’s a time travel thing dw abt it

 **lancelot** : time always feels weird in the temporal zone

 **smoakandmirrors** : you mean the time vortex

 **lancelot** : _once again fliss this isnt doctor who_

 **smoakandmirrors** : isn’t it though???

 **newandimproved** : It basically is

 **lancelot** : _god what has she done to you_

 **z** : can we get back to alien languages

 **puppydanvers** : I’m an alien

 **z** : oh

 **z** : hey sara it wouldve been nice to kno they exist?????

 **lancelot** : look ok theres a lot of stuff and uve got 2 give me time 2 get round 2 it!!!

 **z** : how much stuff is a lot of stuff

 **lancelot** : well idk its not like i write it down

 **newandimproved** : Have you got to parallel universes yet?

 **z** : TO WHAT

 **newandimproved** : Guess not

 **puppydanvers** : alex and lucy and maggie and lena and I are all from a different universe

 **puppydanvers** : and so is jesse?? but I’m not sure where she is

 **irisbest** : she’s vacationing with wally right now

 **puppydanvers** : and I think there’s an alternate version of laurel too??

 **lancelot** : yup

 **lancelot** : i havent met her yet but she sounds like fun

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : she keeps trying to kill me

 **lancelot** : i said she sounds like fun not a saint

 **z** : oh. okay

 **lancelot** : oh and z u can change ur name u kno

 **z** : ???

 **lancelot** : the name on ur msgs

 **lancelot** : oooh speaking of!!!!

 **lancelot** : now ur all caught up i dont have to worry abt spoiling yall!!!!

 

 **lancelot** changed their name to **timefugitive**

 

 **newandimproved** : WHAT DID YOU DO

 **timefugitive** : god do u kno how hard it was not to change it

 **timefugitive** : my best?????

 **timefugitive** : what kind of question is that

 **smoakandmirrors** : do we even want to know

 **timefugitive** : oh i doubt it

 **z** : i thought u said we were exonerated

 **agentdamnvers** : oh my god?

 **newandimproved** : EXONERATED FROM WHAT

 **timefugitive** : u said we!!!!

 **timefugitive** : thought u said we were all losers huh

 **z** : ehh

 **irisbest** : you are

 **agentdamnvers** : you are

 **timefugitive** : guys

 **newandimproved** : You are

 **thirdtimesthecharm** : you are

 **timefugitive** : guys??????

 **newandimproved** : THEN TELL ME WHAT YOU DID

 **timefugitive** : no????

 **z** : hey so

 **z** : how do u do that??

 **z** : oh wait nm i got it

 

 **z** changed their name to **zee**

 

 **timefugitive** : y

 **betterthanyou** : wouldnt every1 here pronounce it zee anyway???

 **timefugitive** : well actually nys wud say zed

 **timefugitive** : but shes fake british so

 **agentdamnvers** : she’s what

 **timefugitive** : fake british

 **rideordie** : how can you be fake british???

 **timefugitive** : when u grow up in the himalayas w/ a fake british dad

 **agentdamnvers** : that makes it more confusing???

 **newandimproved** : Her tutor was british

 **agentdamnvers** : oh, that makes more sense

 **timefugitive** : u gotta change ur name to something cool tho

 **zee** : like what

 **puppydanvers** : what do you like???

 **zee** : food

 **puppydanvers** : same!!

 **timefugitive** : oh god u 2 are gonna b awesome friends

 **smoakandmirrors** : so you like food and you’re a hacker

 **zee** : yh???

 **smoakandmirrors** : i have an idea

 

 **smoakandmirrors** changed **zee** ’s name to **snacktivist**

 

 **snacktivist** : oh!!!

 **snacktivist** : i like this!!!

 **smoakandmirrors** : you’re welcome :D

 **timefugitive** : um since when can u change ppls names

 **smoakandmirrors** : since always????

 **smoakandmirrors** : i created this whole system????

 **newandimproved** : Are you telling me you could’ve stopped Sara from changing her name every ten seconds

 **smoakandmirrors** : well i mean i _could_ but

 **smoakandmirrors** : she does it too often i can’t keep up with her

 **timefugitive** : thats what she said

 **smoakandmirrors** : no

 **irisbest** : got it!

 **irisbest** : [introductions.xls]

 **irisbest** : I figured sara probably wouldn’t fill you in, and jesse’s busy right now so

 **irisbest** : this is a list of everyone’s names!

 **snacktivist** : ah thanks

 **irisbest** : gdi sara it has to be updated again now

 **timefugitive** : ;P

 **snacktivist** : wait ur from team flash??????

 **irisbest** : yes?? why???

 **timefugitive** : z

 **snacktivist** : no reason

 **irisbest** : lance

 **timefugitive** : yh?

 **irisbest** : remember when I told you I trusted you?? it’s because I figured you’d stop lying to me

 **timefugitive** : ugh fine but dont yell at me yh

 **irisbest** : making it worse

 **timefugitive** : caits here

 **irisbest** : with the legends????

 **irisbest** : is she ok??????

 **irisbest** : how?????

 **timefugitive** : yes, ehhh, she messaged me and i picked her up

 **timefugitive** : shes getting better i think but i dont kno that shes up 2 tlking 2 u guys yet

 **timefugitive** : srry

 **irisbest** : thank you

 **timefugitive** : im not doing anything

 **timefugitive** : like i actually got her arrested yesterday so

 **irisbest** : yeah you guys are the actual worst

 **irisbest** : but I know you’re trying your best

 **timefugitive** : kind of condescending but thanks

 **snacktivist** : i mean i havent been here long but u guys _r_ the worst

 **snacktivist** : and also wheres amaya????

 **snacktivist** : the list says she shud be here????

 **timefugitive** : yh she doesn’t hang around here bc she thinks shes better than us

 **smoakandmirrors** : but is she wrong though

 **timefugitive** : oh no shes 100% justified

 **snacktivist** : wait she really said that???

 **irisbest** : it was more implied

 **irisbest** : why?

 **snacktivist** :that just doesnt sound like amaya???

 **snacktivist** : shes so sweet and encouraging??

 **snacktivist** : i cant really imagining her saying anything bad about anyone

 **newandimproved** : Sara

 **timefugitive** : yep

 **newandimproved** : Sara what did you do to Amaya

 **timefugitive** : nothing?????

 **smoakandmirrors** : then why does she sound like a pod person????

 **snacktivist** : like a what????

 **smoakandmirrors** : like she’s been replaced with a copy

 **puppydanvers** : yeah, earth sayings are weird

 **snacktivist** : u saying that doesnt make it less weird

 **puppydanvers** : I get that a lot

 **betterthanyou** : its from a movie

 **snacktivist** : ohhh

 **agentdamnvers** : well it was a book first

 **betterthanyou** : okay nerd

 **timefugitive** : ok so b4 u arrived amaya used 2 b kinda uptight

 **timefugitive** : bc she was used 2 a different team

 **irisbest** : _cough_ better team _cough_

 **timefugitive** : but then she realized that we werent gonna change and so shes jst started rolling w/ it

 **timefugitive** : and pls as if team flash isnt the worst team in the multiverse

 **irisbest** : thanks sara

 **timefugitive** : so yh zari u jst happened 2 arrive at a time where amayas more laidback

 **timefugitive** : plus, u kno

 **snacktivist** : i kno what??

 **timefugitive** : hmmmm

 **timefugitive** : hey fliss remember when laurel met mari

 **smoakandmirrors** : oH

 **timefugitive** : _yep_

 **newandimproved** : Come on guys, still?

 **newandimproved** : You weren’t even _there_

 **smoakandmirrors** : oh wow that sounds adorable??

 **timefugitive** : see youd think it would b, but actually its v frustrating

 **timefugitive** : p sure gideons gonna start locking ppl in closets any day now

 **timefugitive** : and i didnt have 2 b, jax filled me in

 **timefugitive** : honestly sometimes i cant believe were sisters

 **irisbest** : wait, are you guys talking about what I think you’re talking about????

 **snacktivist** : what _r_ u talking abt???

 **snacktivist** : what am i missing???

 **newandimproved** : _Don’t Sara_

 **timefugitive** : relax sis im not that mean

 **timefugitive** : its kind of a long story

 **timefugitive** : but its nothing bad, dont worry

 **snacktivist** : ok??

 **timefugitive** : also dont ask any of the others what it means!!! thats an order!!!!

 **snacktivist** : wait do we actually have to follow those??

 **timefugitive** : yes???? im the captain???????

 **snacktivist** : thats a real thing??? i thought u just had like a pirate fetish or something

 **smoakandmirrors** : OH MY GOD

 **irisbest** : _never mind she’s a perfect fit for your team_

 **betterthanyou** : look weve all thought it

 **agentdamnvers** : no we haven’t??????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> barry isn't in the speedforce yet
> 
> just.....don't think about it
> 
> also mari and laurel had giant crushes on each other but were both too much of a disaster to do anything abt it and you can't convince me otherwise


	40. in which sara lance isn't gonna see her bed for a while and the danvers sisters might finally get a clue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka who needs sleep anyway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [yeah](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZUcpVmEHuk)

**agentdamnvers** created the group **hey**

 

**agentdamnvers** added **timefugitive** to the group **hey**

 

**timefugitive** : danvers????

**agentdamnvers** : hey sara can I ask you something??

**timefugitive** : do u hav 2

**agentdamnvers** : well. no??

**timefugitive** : bye

 

**timefugitive** left the group

 

**agentdamnvers** added **timefugitive** to the group **hey**

 

**agentdamnvers** : sara!!!!

**timefugitive** : its

**timefugitive** : 3

**timefugitive** : am

**agentdamnvers** : oh my god sara I’m so sorry!!

**agentdamnvers** : wait

**agentdamnvers** : I thought gideon directed your messages??? why would she send them to you at 3am

**timefugitive** : who knos

**agentdamnvers** : I think you do

**timefugitive** : whats ur queston danvers

**agentdamnvers** : subtle lance

**agentdamnvers** : okay so actually it’s not really a question for you???

**timefugitive** : Can I Leave Or Not

**agentdamnvers** : I’m going to e1 tomorrow to see if I can help thea in any way

**timefugitive** : yep yep

**timefugitive** : & thnx again btw

**agentdamnvers** : and I was wondering whether the past you and I have a conversation??

**timefugitive** : ah

**agentdamnvers** : ah????

**agentdamnvers** : what does that mean????

**timefugitive** : it means i didntt think ud be one to peek at the test answers danvers

**agentdamnvers** : I like to go into situations with all available information on hand

**timefugitive** : fair

**timefugitive** : also hot

**agentdamnvers** : why

**timefugitive** : look ill be real w u its 3am i literally could nt care less abt ur lovelife atm

**agentdamnvers** : my love life??

**agentdamnvers** : I wasn’t going to ask you about that??

**timefugitive** : u sure???

**timefugitive** : i def remeber u an me having a v long tlk abt how polyamory works

**agentdamnvers** : what???????

**timefugitive** : tbf. we were both mayb a lil drunk

**timefugitive** : and also it was like a yr ago 4 me

**timefugitive** : but still!!!!

**timefugitive** : also srry danvers now u gotta ask past me abt tht

**timefugitive** : paradox bitches!!

**agentdamnvers** : why would I want to know how polyamory works

**timefugitive** : u can lie to me but u cant lie to Urself

**timefugitive** : well atcually u cant lie 2 me 2 bc im from the future and i already kno the outcome

**agentdamnvers** : you do????

**timefugitive** : danvers

**agentdamnvers** : yes?

**timefugitive** : im not telling u the outcome

**agentdamnvers** : couldn’t you give me a hint??

**timefugitive** : what and lose my JOB

**agentdamnvers** : you’ve literally never cared about your job in the entire time I’ve known you

**timefugitive** : wow words hurt danvers

**timefugitive** : look u kno i love our flirty banter but its still 2 early 4 any of this

**timefugitive** : so like if u dont hav any more questons cud i maybe sleep pls????

**agentdamnvers** : fine

**agentdamnvers** : goodnight sara

**agentdamnvers** : I hope gideon forgives you for whatever you did

**timefugitive** : nite danvers

**timefugitive** : i hope you have fun w ur 2 gfs when yall get a clue

**agentdamnvers** : what

 

**timefugitive** deleted the group **hey**

 

—

 

**puppydanvers** created the group **hi!!!!!!**

 

**puppydanvers** added **timefugitive** to the group **hi!!!!!!**

 

**puppydanvers** : um hi? sara??

**timefugitive** : oh uve gotta b kiding me

**puppydanvers** : ???????

**timefugitive** : i was literlly jst tlking to ur sis

**puppydanvers** : oh!! about her going to your earth??

**timefugitive** : yh

**timefugitive** : and rn im

**timefugitive** : v tored

**timefugitive** : *tired

**puppydanvers** : oh gosh sara I’m so sorry!!

**puppydanvers** : I didn’t mean to bother you!!

**puppydanvers** : I’ll just go sorry!!

 

**puppydanvers** has left the group

 

**timefugitive** added **puppydanvers** to the group **hi!!!!!!**

 

**puppydanvers** : ???

**timefugitive** : dude no

**timefugitive** : i cant mke _u_ leave

**timefugitive** : thats like kicking a puppy

**timefugitive** : a spce puppy

**timefugitive** : do u hab puppies in s p a c e

**puppydanvers** : oh wow you really _are_ tired

**timefugitive** : answer the Question bby danvers

**puppydanvers** : a) yes there are puppies in space

**timefugitive** : !!!!!!!

**puppydanvers** : b) you realise that I’m older than you right??

**timefugitive** : ???????

**timefugitive** : Since When

**puppydanvers** : since always???

**puppydanvers** : I spent like 24 years in stasis so

**puppydanvers** : me and alex worked it out I was actually born earth year 1966

**timefugitive** : hm. no

**puppydanvers** : no????

**timefugitive** : stasis doesnt count

**timefugitive** : im still the oldest here

**puppydanvers** : I don’t think it works like that??

**timefugitive** : wait do u remember it

**puppydanvers** : well. no

**timefugitive** : d o e s n t c o u n t

**timefugitive** : what did u even want 2 ask anyway

**puppydanvers** : oh

**puppydanvers** : okay

**puppydanvers** : so

**timefugitive** : danvers _pls_

**puppydanvers** : well it’s just that

**puppydanvers** : we don’t really know each other very well??

**puppydanvers** : I would’ve asked barry this but he’s not picking up his phone

**timefugitive** : gee thnx

**puppydanvers** : and I don’t want to hop over to another universe just for this

**puppydanvers** : oh uh. sorry. no offense sara

**timefugitive** : ehhh its fine

**timefugitive** : so whats up then

**puppydanvers** : it’s about lena

**timefugitive** : shit dude is she ok??????

**puppydanvers** : oh!! yes she’s okay!!!

**puppydanvers** : sorry!!!

**timefugitive** : _god danvers warn a girl next time_

**puppydanvers** : sorry really I didn’t mean to scare you!!

**timefugitive** : whats up then

**puppydanvers** : it’s just

**puppydanvers** : you know what you were saying? before?

**timefugitive** : before when??????

**timefugitive** : im a time traveller b more specific

**puppydanvers** : just when you were saying those things about me and lena

**timefugitive** : _b more specific_

**puppydanvers** : when you said we were the gayest thing you’d seen all day!!!!

**timefugitive** : o damn _i_ said that???

**puppydanvers** : you don’t remember?????

**timefugitive** : its 4am i dnt remembr my own name rn

**puppydanvers** : sara!!!!!! you shouldn’t let me keep you up!!!!!!

**timefugitive** : tough im alredy a wake

**timefugitive** : giv me context

**puppydanvers** : ????

**timefugitive** : y didi say That

**puppydanvers** : oh

**puppydanvers** : I guess bc lena and I were being kind of affectionate??

**timefugitive** : explain

**puppydanvers** : we were just joking around?? you know??

**puppydanvers** : just using lots of smiley faces and stuff

**puppydanvers** : and kind of play arguing??

**puppydanvers** : but that’s just what friends do, right???

**timefugitive** : frends w benefits maybe

**puppydanvers** : _sara_

**timefugitive** : sorry

**timefugitive** : look yh i tlk to fliss like that but like. she took a bullet 4 me ya kno?

**timefugitive** : and then slept w my ex

**timefugitive** : and then slept w my sister

**timefugitive** : we uh. kind of have a weird rship when i think abt it

**timefugitive** : but! thats p much how u speak to best friends yh

**puppydanvers** : see! lena’s my best friend!

**timefugitive** : i thought ur bff was a lil nerd dude

**timefugitive** : white cisco

**puppydanvers** : that’s

**puppydanvers** : that’s not his name

**puppydanvers** : and well yes but you can have more than one best friend??

**timefugitive** : well yh obvs but like

**timefugitive** : best friend like me and fliss??

**timefugitive** : or best friend like fliss and laurel??

**timefugitive** : bc theres a difference lil danvers

**timefugitive** : and if u cant tell then make sure lena can yh?

**timefugitive** : it sucks if ur seeing more than some1 else is

**puppydanvers** : wait are you saying lena thinks we’re dating???

**timefugitive** : im saying _literally_ everyone else does

**timefugitive** : and u should maybe think abt y they think that????

**puppydanvers** : oh

**timefugitive** : jst? think abt it??

**timefugitive** : if u dot like her as more than a friend then thats totally fine

**timefugitive** : but at least give urself the chance to actually look at it instead of jst ignoring it bc were teasng u yh?

**puppydanvers** : sara?

**timefugitive** : what

**puppydanvers** : you’re wiser than you give yourself credit for

**timefugitive** : im the wisest person ull literaly ever meet wtf

**puppydanvers** : if you say so

**timefugitive** : wow ok im never giving u free advice again bye

**puppydanvers** : bye! goodnight sara! get some sleep!

**timefugitive** : no

 

**timefugitive** deleted the group **hi!!!!!!**

 

—

 

**irisbest** created the group **sara**

 

**irisbest** added **timefugitive** to the group **sara**

 

**timefugitive** : OK GIDEON I GET IT

**irisbest** : ?????

**timefugitive** : shes pissed w me rn

**timefugitive** : AND IM SORY G O D

**irisbest** : ah

**timefugitive** : so whats up west

**timefugitive** : dont tell me _u_ need relationship advice 2

**irisbest** : oh i really hope you’re not being an asshole on purpose

**timefugitive** : ?????

**timefugitive** : oh shit

**timefugitive** : its _then_ isnt it

**irisbest** : barry’s in the speedforce

**timefugitive** : god iris im so sorry

**timefugitive** : i swear i didnt realize it was now

**irisbest** : does he get out

**timefugitive** : iris

**irisbest** : sara

**irisbest** : sara _please_

**timefugitive** : he does

**timefugitive** : iris?

**irisbest** : thank you

**timefugitive** : i mean i didnt really do anthing

**irisbest** : no i know how much this means sara and really thank you

**irisbest** : does cait know??

**irisbest** : sara???

**irisbest** : oh

**irisbest** : you haven't told her have you

**timefugitive** : i didnt kno how 2

**timefugitive** : and shes already dealing w so much shit like what was i ment to say???

**irisbest** : the truth

**irisbest** : there’s been enough secrets kept on this team

**timefugitive** : but shes not well

**timefugitive** : u kno

**irisbest** : yeah i know

**irisbest** : but i also know she deserves the right to know about things like this

**irisbest** : barry’s cait’s friend too

**timefugitive** : ur right

**irisbest** : i’m always right

**timefugitive** : wow ok ful of urself

**timefugitive** : sorry taht was harsher than i meatn it 2 b

**timefugitive** : i am. v sleep deprived

**timefugitive** : its 5am

**irisbest** : oh

**irisbest** : w o w

**timefugitive** : _yup_

**irisbest** : so what did you do to piss off gideon

**timefugitive** : nothing!

**irisbest** : _sara_

**timefugitive** : so _maybe_ i played chiken w another time ship

**irisbest** : yOU NEARLY CRASHED YOUR SHIP INTO ANOTHER SHIP?????

**timefugitive** : WE SURVIVED DIDNT WE

**irisbest** : god you guys are the worst

**timefugitive** : actually the _time buraeu_  are the worst

**timefugitive** : were the 2nd worst!

**irisbest** : the fact that you think that’s a good thing is unbelievably sad

**timefugitive** : ha yh

**timefugitive** : im not sleeping tonite am i

**irisbest** : nope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh look we're finally getting somewhere w supercorp only took like 40 chapters

**Author's Note:**

> In case you need it:
> 
> Felicity – ladydeath, smoakandmirrors  
> Thea – speedygonzales  
> Laurel – betterlance, newandimproved  
> Iris – irisbest  
> Caitlin - snowqueen  
> Sara – littlestlance, originalflavor, captain lance jr, the onlycaptainlance, theholylance, lancelot, harambe (.......don't ask), timefugitive  
> Amaya – eyeofthetiger, amayajiwe, vixen  
> Jesse - quicksort  
> Shawna- beammeupshawna  
> Dinah - thirdtimesthecharm  
> Lisa - guesswho, allthatglitters  
> Kara - puppydanvers  
> Alex - agentdanvers, agentdamnvers  
> Lucy - betterthanyou  
> Maggie - rideordie  
> Lena - extrakale, theboss  
> Helena - stabbymcstab, shotthrutheheart  
> Nyssa - nr  
> Kendra - birb  
> Siren - boom  
> Evelyn - robbinghood  
> Brie - noneofyourbeeswax
> 
> (sara why do you keep changing your name???)
> 
>    
> So I've never written anything with multiple chapters before but this doesn't take me long to write, so I'll probably update this on weekends.
> 
>    
> Also, I have tumblr now and I go by [yesokayiknow](https://yesokayiknow.tumblr.com/) if you want to like, hit me up or something.


End file.
